After being hit on the kneecap by a Jon Lester pitch, Mark Teixeira needed to be helped off the field by “Quiz Kid” Donnie Smith– I mean, Joe Girardi.  Te(i)x must have been in serious pain to let a grown man with braces help him off the field.  That’s I before E except in Teixeira seizes codeine.  Luckily, Te(i)x’s x-rays came back negative and it sounds like he’ll only be out a few days with a bruised knee.  You feel me?  Yeah, you do.  Now stop touching me.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Chris Jakubauskas – 5 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks.  He’s not a worth a pickup outside a 20 team league that only uses Orioles.  BTW, you think he ever misspells his own last name?