The Royals physician diagnosed Danny Duffy with a torn UCL, which would mean Tommy John surgery. In related news, Dr. James Andrews is filing a trademark lawsuit, saying he’s the only doctor that can shut down pitchers for longer than 60 days. In sorta related news, Francisco Liriano is still waiting to come back. In unrelated news, when Dr.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Miguel Batista
On the first day of the season, I said something profound and uplifting. Don’t go back to look. I’m sure I did. Today, I’m like Mark Twain talking about summer in San Francisco but less pithy. The coldest winter I ever spent was the last day of the baseball season. It’s metaphorical, friend. Trust me. Here’s where I tell you how everything’s gonna be okay. How there will be a next season, barring the Mayans taking things into their own hands… I can’t do that. I can’t tell you there will be a next season. *checking notes* Actually, I can do that. There will be a next season. Hey, that’s good news! Also, next year we’ll know not to draft Morneau. That’s more good news! And next year we’ll be done with the hair transplant so girls will start to react favorably to us. That’s good news too! So, I know you’re blue, but without clouds there’s no sun. Actually, I don’t know if that’s true. Again, metaphorical. Or is that meteorological? You know what? These aren’t things we need to get hung up on. We’re gonna sit here, read all my year-end recaps that’ll be coming in the next few weeks and wait until next year. Even if gangrene sets into our legs from lack of circulation! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jose Reyes – Laid down a bunt single then had himself removed from the game to guarantee he won the batting title. That’s not how Ted Williams would’ve liked it. He risked a .400 average to take all his ABs in the last game of the season. The only time he quit while ahead was after death.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Let’s quote the Random Preseason Commenter, “You don’t have Matt Thornton in your top 20 closers? Hey, Grey, how does it feel to suck at life? Oh, and while you’re sucking, blow me. Thank you.” This isn’t to point out I knew Thornton would be terrible, but to say again how fickle closers are. He wasn’t in the top 20 because he had very little experience as a closer, and to say he was a lock as an elite closer was absurd. The whole point with closers is the same as William Goldman’s famous quote regarding Hollywood, “No one knows anything.” Soria has a 5+ ERA, Mariano’s blown two saves, Brian Wilson has a 9+ ERA and Fernando Rodney… Well, you knew he would suck and he did. In the preseason, I also said that Ryan Franklin would lose the job. I didn’t think it would happen that fast, but there ya go. I have more faith in Mitchell Boggs keeping the job and his accounting firm above water until October than I have in Ryan Madson, but he’s a closer too so he too should be owned. It’s all about SAGNOF, ya’ll. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
$12 Salads
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?
Please, blog, may I have some more?In September, closers either mean everything or they mean nothing. You either really need closers to catch the next nearest guy in saves or you have too much ground to make up and you’re secure in your standings. If you fall into the former category, I’d grab anyone I could to get saves. Hello, Juan Gutierrez, would you like to dance? If you fall into the latter category, you can either start dropping brain freezes – Joel Hanarahananananan, we had a terrible time together and now I will drop you. Goodbye. – or just bench your lower tier closers to avoid getting Kazaam’d. I’d only drop a closer if I knew no one could catch me in saves or if it were strategic. For instance, I’ve been known to drop a closer because I know the guy with the high waiver claim can get him and catch the guy in front of him in saves, which will help me in the overall standings. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
$12 Salads
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Matt Capps got traded and kept his job, Rauch didn’t get traded and lost his job, Octavio Dotel got traded and lost his job, Brian Wilson didn’t get traded but is moping because his shoes are no longer shiny. It’s the bullpens, ya’ll. Just yesterday Lindstrom was out with a sore back that he hurt when he tried to get the A’s replacement closer in his fantasy league. That’s a true story in opposite world. On the top of the rankings, Wagner made himself a $12 Salad. On the bottom of the rankings, I wanted to move Chris Perez into the Donkeycorns, but he needs more time in the role first. He’ll be a Donkeycorn by September. Mark my words! But don’t mark them on your computer, that doesn’t come off. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
$12 Salads
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Ken Griffey Jr. missed a pinch hitting opportunity last week because he was asleep in the clubhouse. In related news, Grady Sizemore has been sleepwalking through his at-bats. Maybe Griffey was pooped from his Dick’s Sporting Goods commercial. If the end is indeed nigh for Griffey, and if nigh is the right archaic word, this could mean an extended leash for Michael Saunders. He’s a low teen power/speed guy without much average, so the M’s would be going from yawning to yawnstipating. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brad Lidge – Stiffness in his elbow. In Italian guy straight from Ellis Island terms, that’s notta so good. The Phils held Contreras to pitch the ninth for the save. Save vultures, commence vulturing.
Please, blog, may I have some more?In this month’s closer look, let’s discuss the value of middle relievers. I’m a big Mr. B. Depending on the team, I have various combinations of MRs. On one team, I have C.J. Wilson still. (Notched a Save and a Win in a doubleheader the other day — natch!) On another team, I’m rocking Dan Meyer. On another, Rafael Soriano. Besides having a guy that could take over the closing duties, middle relievers help lower your starters’ ratios. Mark DiFelice + James Shields = 7-4/3.01/1.15/74 or Jake Peavy, 5-5/3.67/1.13/84. That’s right, the Frankenpitcher of Jark DiShields is beating the pure breed Jake Peavy. So how’s dem apples? Delicious! Now in some cases, you just can’t hold a MR. Whether you’re besieged by injuries, need to handcuff one of your closers or need a bench hitter, sometimes it’s just not feasible. As much as I like MRs, they are invariably the first ones I drop on my teams when I need help somewhere else. Luckily, there’s always one available on waivers. If it’s not Jark DiShields, you can own Kiko Garzero or C.J.
Please, blog, may I have some more?In this month’s closer look, let’s discuss some closer trading strategy. As I mentioned the other day, I traded Street and some other closer for Haren. This might’ve put me at a disadvantage for saves. Now you’re probably thinking what the eff? This doode doesn’t even know who he traded or if it put his team at a disadvantage for saves. Well, that’s the whole point. Saves are the easiest commodity to acquire on waivers. Just last month, 10 closers lost their jobs, even if just temporarily. 10 out of 30 closers. So, frankly, I don’t care if I’m trading Qualls, Bell or schmohawk closer behind door number 3. Are some of these guys more reliable than others? Sure, but that doesn’t mean Jenks couldn’t have a meltdown tomorrow. They’re just closers. As for not knowing if I’m at a disadvantage, it’s real early and plenty more saves will come into the league. Not that many more Harens are coming into the league. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
$12 Salads
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Who doesn’t love a good comeback story? Mickey Rourke, Jamie Walters, Wilco’s Sky Blue Sky after a very hit or miss, A Ghost is Born… Now there’s Edwin Jackson. Last night, he pitched a gem. 7 2/3 IP, 1 ER with 89 pitches. I love prospects that seem destined for greatness then fail.
Please, blog, may I have some more?It’s time to take our beginning of the month look at all the fantasy baseball closers. Here at Razzball we are always evolving like Saaphyri’s alliance on I Love Money 2, so I’ve added pluses and minuses in parenthesis for the movement a closer has had since the last time I went over them. For example, if B.J.
Please, blog, may I have some more?