We here at Deep League Thoughts love things cheap. If the 5 finger discount were legal, we’d be doing it hand over Doug Fister. Over the course of the year, we’re going to keep our eye on the bargain bin FA market, targeting the guys that are less than 5 percent owned and try to sprinkle you with tasty little nuggets of info on these gems. Alright let’s start…sorry, you still have to read…and you have to start a new paragraph to do it. I know, demanding.Please, blog, may I have some more?
And we have our first Disgraceful List of the season and the season hasn’t even started yet (really). I hate to say I told you so, so (stutterer!) instead, I’ll just quote the relevant text from earlier this preseason, “(Michael Pineda) is young so there’s plenty of time to see how well he adjusts. For now, I’m going to let someone else take the chance on him. What it really comes down to is it’s not very difficult to find solid starters, so there’s no reason to take unnecessary risk.” And that’s me quoting me! Zadow! I feel like I’ve exorcised a demon when I tell you to avoid someone and they bust. (Oh, and Rudy told you to avoid him too at his risky pitchers post.) It makes me feel so good. Schadenfreude! Can you feel my excitement? You know those struggling artists from touristy beach towns that draw caricatures in coal? I’m gonna hire one of them and one of those skywriting airplanes and have them draw a giant mustache in the sky above your house. I might also have the pilot wear a burlap sack. Why? Cause it’s a crazy person mocking you, that makes it even worse! Now, if you ignored our advice and drafted him, this was actually the best case scenario, because now you can DL him, before it looked like you were just gonna have to watch him in the minors while on your bench. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Andrew Bailey – Even with bad news, the Red Sox won’t accept being upstaged by the Yankees. Bailey hurts thumb, gives fantasy owners the finger. The injury could force him to the DL to start the season. Oh, won’t you stay healthy Andrew Bailey, Andrew Bailey? “Is it me or is this the news once a month for him, “Andrew Bailey has been cleared to start throwing.” Hey, Bailey, throw already!” That’s me quoting me from last year! It’s same shizz different day/month/year with Bailey. It was announced that the Sawx would turn to Aceves first if (when?) Bailey hits the DL. Then Bobby Valentine made a wrap sandwich, because he invented them and likes to talk about that.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Some analyses strike gold. Some analyses are an immediate bust. It’s the third type – the ‘fool’s gold’ type – that are the most frustrating. After three years of middling predictions, I think my ‘risky pitcher’ analysis from a couple years ago is falling into that 3rd category.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday around 7:45 Eastern Time, Twitter got a little extra crazy. Jerry Crasnick of ESPN tweeted that the Mariners were close to acquiring an “impact” bat. Rumors swirled, Adam Jones jokes were passed among Orioles fans (that’s all we have), but eventually the world focused on the New York Yankees because that’s where the universe usually focuses.Please, blog, may I have some more?
So, how’s everyone holding up without baseball every day? I don’t know what to do with myself! Yesterday, I wandered into a Starbucks and told the coffeerista about Mike Stanton for 2012. We’ve gone over the final 2011 fantasy baseball rankings for hitters and the top 20 starters. There’s only one of these godforsaken recap posts left before we’re into 2012 fantasy shizz. You’re welcome. Anyway, here’s the top 40 starters for 2011 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
21.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In 2012, Michael Pineda will open the sky and fart thunder. He will do a duet with Bruno Mars that will sound like rap to people who don’t know rap and their song will reach the top of the charts for 12 weeks. He will then put together a table from Ikea in less than an hour without dropping any F-bombs. It’s written and so it will be. You know the Sausage Race in Milwaukee? Of course you do. You’re not living on a deserted island with no one to talk to but a volleyball. So the Sausage Race is going on in my mind right now, but it’s not sausages. Instead, it’s players that I’m excited about owning next year. So far in that race there’s Mike Stanton and Michael Pineda. There will be more runners. We’ll get to those. Where did this jumbo-sized joy come from? In 2011, Pineda had a line of 9.11 K-rate and a 3.53 xFIP. Wait, that’s not a line. That’s okay. That’s all you need. I’ll put on some Marvin, drink some Chardonnay and make love to those numbers. So what can we expect of Michael Pineda for next year, and what makes him a 2012 fantasy baseball keeper?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kevin Gregg was handed his 6th blown save yesterday. He’s tizzerrible. I won’t defend him. Your honor, no questions at this time. I just don’t see the Orioles bothering to switch things up. They’re defeated. Look into their eyes and you see the shadow of Cal Ripken Jr.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I said three days ago that Brian Wilson was probably headed for a DL stint. And now he’s on the DL. Confession: I’m a time traveler! And not for stocks or gambling Biff-style, I use my foresight for fantasy baseball. To recap what I’ve been saying, I said three days ago that Brian Wilson– Wait, I should recap from a little further back. Ramon Ramirez already has two saves, so that’s who I’d grab first. Affeldt could get some saves, you just need to put up with his annoying duck. Casilla may sneak into the picture, but I wouldn’t go deeper than one of these guys unless you’re very desperate. Though remember closers can smell desperation and you’ll never get any saves like that. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the roundup, I just wanted to announce that this afternoon there will be announcement.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jason Heyward sat again yesterday in favor of Jose Constanza. I don’t want to shout fire in the theater of Razzball, but this isn’t good. Constanza is making Heyward look like the best seller at the jerk store. Actually, Heyward was kinda doing it to himself.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Desmond Jennings was called up. “No, he wasn’t.” “Yes, he was.” “No.” “Yes!” “Yes!” “No– Wait, I was the one saying yes.” Or so went us, me, you, we for the last two months. Why do we care so much? Because we have a void in our own lives?Please, blog, may I have some more?