Geez, Roy Oswalt has sure come a far way since the whole “I will only sign with one or two teams” stance as he signed with the Rockies. They’re not necessarily a bad team, but what pitcher wants to come out of semi-retirement to pitch in Colorado? It’s like Smokey the Bear coming out of semi-retirement to work at a cigar shop. “Smokey, we really appreciate the job you’re doing, but could you stop throwing buckets of water on our customers?” That’s Smokey’s boss at the cigar shop. Better yet, a pitcher coming out of semi-retirement to pitch for the Rockies is like I.M. Pei coming out of retirement to work at Home Depot. Roy Rockie Oswalt must’ve really got sick of driving his kids to school and needed something to do. Oswalt is going to assassinate his career ERA. Maybe Oswalt plans to drive his tractor to Colorado and haul dirt until Coors is at sea level. When your third best starter is a toss-up between Tyler Chatwood and Jeff Francis, you’re pretty much guaranteed a starting job, so Oswalt should be with the major league club shortly, but you shouldn’t care. I liked El Roy with the Astros, but it’s all rut-roh in Colorado. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sure, these aren’t your slightly older brother’s Yankees. Even Mel Hall would roll over in his Aryan cellmate’s arms if you were to compare these Yankees with the early-90′s Yankees. Still… Again and this time put a little sting on it… STILL! Mr. DeMille, Matt Moore looks ready for his close-up as he announced, “I am big. It’s the other pitchers that got small.” The Yankees can usually take a walk, and Moore’s on the wild side when the guys and four girl readers go, ‘Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.’ Yesterday, Moore only gave up two hits and three walks through eight innings while chipping in nine Ks. His season ERA now sits at 1.04. Sure, that’s gonna come up a bit, but I ranked him 16th overall for all starters for a reason. That reason is his stuff is nasty. Nasty as in good not nasty as in bad with that bad not being bad bad, he’s good bad. Kapeesh? Looking for a pitcher then can give you 200 Ks and a 2-something ERA then look at Strasburg. Looking for a guy that can get you the same amount of Ks and a low-three ERA, but will come a lot cheaper in a trade? That’s all the Moore reason. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The pitcher profiles are back for 2013. Every Monday I will be breaking down a starting pitcher’s performance pitch-by-pitch so you can see an in-depth review of their velocity and how much luck factored into their numbers.
Jose Fernandez, the Miami Marlins 1st-round pick in 2011, had an unreal ascent through the Minors up until Spring Training a few months back, and in a surprise move a few days before Opening Day, decided to put the big righty in the rotation to start the season. Similar comparison could be made to Michael Pineda when he came up with the Mariners in 2011. A big, hard-thrower beginning in the Majors in the Opening Day rotation perhaps too early in their careers. Just look at what happened to Pineda’s shoulder. Hopefully Fernandez can avoid similar fate.
Listen, I know these can sometimes be a little drier than Grey’s mustache on a Caribbean beach. But they offer a different perspective on a pitcher’s outing other than looking at only stats. I will tend to pick young pitchers or fringe-owned starters, but if you have any suggestions of a pitcher you’d like broken down, pick a guy starting over next weekend and shoot that comment below.
Here’s how Fernandez looked:Please, blog, may I have some more?
This post is about 3000 words due to wanting to cover everyone. Stupid, OCD! OCD Voice, “Don’t forget to touch your elbow 75 times before ranking these guys, it’s good luck!” Due to its length, I’ll get right to the good stuff. All the 2013 fantasy baseball rankings are there. All 2013 Fantasy Baseball Position Eligibility is there. All 2013 fantasy baseball sleepers are there. All 2013 fantasy baseball rookies are there. All 2013 fantasy baseball dollar values are there. All 2013 fantasy baseball hitter projections are there. All 2013 fantasy baseball pitcher projections are there. And everything tangentially related to nonsense is there. Anyway, here’s the top 100 starters for 2013 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
In 2010, the Diamondbacks traded Dan Haren to the Angels for Joe Saunders (and Patrick Corbin and Tyler Skaggs). Turned out in that parenthetical lied the rub. At the time of the trade, ESPN Fantasy said, “…this looks like highway robbery for the Angels, and a salary dump for the Diamondbacks.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Yankees got bested by the team that gave Adam Jones away in a chump trade. I mean, yikes with a side of damn. I could even see adding seven a’s into that damn for good measure. Michael Pineda is done for the year with a torn labrum, which only sounds like an injury that a female gymnast would get. Mariners threw him for 340 innings in 2011 and then traded him to the Yankees for their best prospect. Hey, Yankees, say hello to your mother for me! Pineda sounds like he’s done for the year. This is good for teams that drafted him, but had an “Only one Pineda per team” clause. For all other teams that drafted him this isn’t good news. Drop him like a hot Pineda. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ryan Zimmerman – He’s gonna try to hit on Thursday. I kinda hope it goes badly, and I own him. Here’s the scenario I see happening if it goes well: He returns on Friday, reinjures himself and then really needs 15 days from Saturday. At least if his hitting session goes poorly, the Nats can backdate his DL stint. Yes, I’m hopeful for a DL stint. Yes, I’m Googling his address so I can have a “word” with him.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In the doubleheader, Nate Schierholtz went 6-for-10 with a homer, 2 runs, 3 RBIs, steal and back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-etc. starts from Bochy, go ahead with your big head self! “This is the year Schierholtz breaks out! And fill up my Merlot!” That’s every Giants fan for the last three years. Then within a few weeks, he’s usually hurt. If Schierholtz is indeed German for pantyhose, he sure gets rips in them quickly. Maybe he should bathe in clear nail polish. (See, ladies, Grey doesn’t forget about you.) Schierholtz has power, he just needs to stay healthy. For now, I’d pick him up in all leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Tim Lincecum – Good news: 5 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks. Bad news: 4 hits, 5 walks, 108 pitches. Reminds me of my stat lines when playing backyard Wiffle Ball. Maybe Timmy needs to throw to a Pitchback instead of a Posey.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Let Kate Upton know that Philip Humber is now allowed entrance into the Perfect Club as he retired 27 straight Mariners (here’s a tip: don’t get too close to Dallas Braden in the sauna). That’s only the 21st perfect game in history – surprisingly, as you would’ve thought at least that many pitchers would have thrown perfect games against the Mariners last year.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tim Lincecum went six innings and gave up a bongillion runs and has a 10.54 ERA on the year. He’s either sharing a UCL with Wilson or he’s about to make a turn around. No pitcher is going to throw a 10.54 ERA without the universe abandoning that whole gravity thing. And in that case, there would be bigger fish to fry, and we’d have to fry that fish in a Jiffy Pop container, otherwise the hot oil would float away. Or so I read in one of Ken Cosgrove’s stories. Will Lincecum have a 2.75 ERA this year? Well, that’s a different bag of flying fried fish. There’s talk that his velocity is down, which makes his change-up less effective. See, you need one to go fast and one to go deceptively less fast. It’s timing, y’all. Could Lincecum be nothing more than a 3.50 ERA pitcher? Yeah, it’s possible, but there’s still value in that. I wouldn’t give the farm in a trade for him, but I’d see if someone was interested in the tractor. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brian Wilson – There’s talk he could rehab and not get Tommy John surgery because he has a moderate UCL sprain. Oh! Is that all? Terrific. Spray some Windex on it and get out there!Please, blog, may I have some more?
That sound you hear is my heart going a pitter patter for Brandon Belt. That sound you might also hear is Bruce Springsteen on my iTunes. He’s singing the September 11th Telethon version of My City Of Ruins. It gives me chills eleven years later. Now to completely sully that beautiful image, I keep hearing, “Now the sweet veils of fantasy… Drift through the evening news… Young men at my corner…Like scattered leaves… The boarded up closers… I can’t believe one of the injured closers wasn’t Huston Street… The hustlers and base thieves… My pants are down below my knees… Where’s my Belt? My team’s in ruins! My team’s in ruins! Come on rise up! I need a Belt. Come on rise up! I need my Belt!” At this point, I don’t care if Belt plays every day, he should be owned IN CASE (caps for emphasis, not aesthetics) he plays every day. He’s capable of great things. Trust me, if you drop, say, Jason Kubel, you won’t regret it, but if you don’t pick up Belt you may. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Alfredo Aceves – How about we get SAGNOF out of the way right off the bat this week?Please, blog, may I have some more?