I have no idea if anyone at ESPN actually ranks people. There’s talk of it. Like, “Yo, Klara Bell, you do your rankings yet?” “No, did you?” Then Cockcroft makes farting noises with his armpit. All I ever see at ESPN is consensus rankings. I have to figure out how to do this “consensus” thing. Talk about a nice way to avoid taking any blame for anything. “Hey, man, sorry about Andrew McCutchen being ranked so high this year, but these are ‘consensus’ rankings.” Let’s turn to a conversation between two random fantasy baseballers. “Cockcroft has said he doesn’t like Cano this year.” “But ESPN has him 34th overall.” “Yeah, doesn’t apply when talking about Cockcroft.” “So, when does it apply?” “When talking about ESPN.” “But Cockcroft is at ESPN” “Yeah, still doesn’t apply.” “Can you explain that?” “Nope.” Then heads explode. Consensus rankings are done by committee. Only thing ever done better by committee is jerk seasoning. Now, while you might think ESPN’s rankings have a ton of jerk seasoning, they are just an indecipherable mess. But why bring up all of this when I’m about to take a blowtorch to Yahoo’s 2017 fantasy baseball rankings? Thanks for asking, clunky expositional question! Yahoo has consensus rankings, but they also show their work. Each ‘pert is accounted for in their rankings. This is already much better than ESPN. You can at least see what Pianowski, Funston, Behrens and Triple D are thinking individually. This, of course, doesn’t mean I agree with all of their rankings, but at least I can point to how they came to their consensus. Anyway, here’s where my 2017 fantasy baseball rankings differ from the 2017 Yahoo fantasy baseball rankings:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Our 2017 Razzball Commenters Leagues are in full signup mode. I even heard there were a few people from Anonymous that signed up! They said, “To the world, I’m Anonymous, just another white man who sits in parking lots with binoculars watching women.” Man, that Anonymous guy is depressing! As we always do about this time, I eviscerate the haters and complicators! I eviscerate the not-knowers and the over-knowers! I eviscerate the ESPN goers and the garden hoers! I overuse a word like eviscerate that I just learned! I am the Fantasy Master Lothario (don’t abbreviate it) and I’ve come for your children! See, because blog writing doesn’t pay so well, I’ve taken a second job as a bus driver, so I’m literally here for your kids. Like a baller! A shot caller! An “I’m outside of Hot Topic at the maller!” My eviscerating (I’m conjugating my new word!) today comes at the expense of ESPN and their 2017 fantasy baseball rankings. To the tune of Kanye’s Runaway:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The 2017 fantasy baseball rankings are under that link. Why are you lifting your computer? Not literally under that link! Okay, you’re thick like a CVS receipt folded in half twelve times. In years past, the top 40 starters is a mix of guys I like and don’t like. Like a high cholesterol cow, it’s about half and half. This year, I really had to struggle to find guys that I didn’t want to draft in the top 40 starters. In the end, there were five starters in this top 40 starter post I was less okay, and more amscray. Each fantasy team needs about six starters total, so tell me again why you need to draft starters early? There’s a ton of them, like, this is simple math. So, simple, there’s no actual number and just ‘a ton.’ As with past rankings, my tiers and projections are included for the low, low price of $19.99! Kidding, they’re free. The oxygen you need to live while reading them is gonna cost you though. Anyway, here’s the top 40 starters for 2017 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here we are, the third of four posts about the Couch Managers 2017 Industry Mock Draft. Previously, I posted recaps of rounds 1-6 and rounds 7-12. This post is for rounds 13-18. The final post will be for rounds 19-23. Complicated stuff, I know. But try to keep up.
In case you have yet to see my previous posts, here is a quick recap of the league rules for this mock:
This mock was for a 15-team, 5×5 roto, with 23 roster spots made up of 9 pitchers (9), 1 spot for each position (8), a second catcher (1), 2 more outfielders (2), one corner infielder (1), one middle infielder (1), and one utility position (1).
As I have done with the other posts, I’ll post the results below by round and will offer a few of my thoughts for each round…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Greetings, friends. I hopped over to the football side of things once last year’s baseball season ended, but now I’m back. And apparently, I am such a disturbed individual that I am doing fantasy baseball mock drafts in early January. And, I am writing about them. And, well, I just wanted to start another sentence with and because it feels so wrong but so right at the same time. Anyway, moving on.
I was fortunate enough to be invited to the Couch Managers 2017 Industry Mock Draft, and we’re going to recap it here. This mock was for a 15-team, 5×5 roto, with 23 roster spots made up of 9 pitchers (9), 1 spot for each position (8), a second catcher (1), 2 more outfielders (2), one corner infielder (1), one middle infielder (1), and one utility position (1). As long as I did that math correctly, that is 23 spots.
Below, I will provide the results for the first six rounds and a give my thoughts for each round. I’ll do the same for rounds 7-12, 13-18, and 19-23 in subsequent posts. I’ll try to keep it brief. All we really care about are the results here, right? Feel free to tell me how awesome or crappy you think my team is, along with what you think were the best and worst picks of the draft or the different rounds…Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’ve seen some ‘smarter’ players drafting Michael Pineda way too high. Like in the top 110 overall. I don’t care that he had the third highest xFIP last year and the 8th best xFIP in 2015. I mean, I do care about it, that’s why I’m highlighting him, but I don’t care top 110 overall care. I’m operating a little without a safety net with the sleepers by not having a strong idea of where guys will be drafted. I’m merely guessing where guys will be drafted, and I’d bet Pineda will go undrafted in a lot of shallower mixed leagues or after 200 overall in most other leagues. At that price, he’s a sleeper and I’m interested in his xFIP. For noobs, xFIP is essentially ERA while removing defense, luck, sequencing and normalizes for homers. All of those should be self-explanatory except for maybe sequencing. That means a guy that gives up a single, gets two outs, allows a home run and gets the third out is the same as a pitcher that gives up a home run, a single and then gets three outs, even though the 1st pitcher gave up two runs and the 2nd pitcher gave up one run with the exact same hitter results — a single, a home run and three outs, just in a different order. All things being equal, a pitcher should be his xFIP self. It doesn’t work like that for various reasons, but it’s a baseline. Not quite the same as Humpty Hump’s bass line. That’s dooooree-doooorit-dooooree-doooorit. Ricky Nolasco made a career out of frustrating fantasy owners by never returning ERA bottles for his xFIP deposits. Honestly, if it was just xFIP for Pineda, I wouldn’t even be writing this post, but it’s not, and with that…So, what can we expect from Michael Pineda for 2017 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?Please, blog, may I have some more?
In order to be competitive, the Marlins would need All-Stars at every position all farmed from their minor league system. Sorta like what the Cubs have managed to do. Not impossible, but that’s what it would take for the Marlins because they are cheap AF. By the way, AF is my favorite acronym. Props to whoever first started using it. Feels like it started on Twitter because of the character limit. Keeps shizz short and simple AF, kinda like me (short and simple). Any the hoo! I was saying the Marlins need to be precise AF (I’m overusing it now) with their minor league system like they were with Jose Fernandez. He’s AF as AF comes. His nickname should no longer be Jo-Fer but AF. Or maybe AF-Fer. Nah, that looks like a trade union. A-Fer? That looks like algebra. Fernandez should own Abercrombie & Fitch he’s so AF. Yesterday, Jose Fernandez went 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks and 12 Ks. He has 253 Ks in 182 1/3 innings. Seriously, digest that for a second. WTF AF?! Of course, I wish the Marlins would shut him down until 2017, but I have no chance of owning him next year. Not that I don’t love him. He’s the best pitcher in the game if I’m building a dynasty league. Yeah, I said it. I want him over Kershaw. Kershaw has been durable up until this year, but all pitchers are durable up until the point when they’re not. At one point, Jake Peavy was durable AF, too. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Is everyone recovered from their NFL opening night hangover? I’m excited to have some NFL DFS to pair with the grind of MLB DFS. Something to keep in mind these next four weeks is MLB DFS will be losing a fair share of players as NFL takes over the scene. Like it or not, NFL DFS is infinitely more popular than MLB DFS. I get it, in this instant gratification world we live in, NFL DFS is that one killer weekend party while MLB DFS is the local bar down the road; it’s there for you every night, but it’s not exactly thrilling. What does this loss mean for us hardcore MLB DFSers? Well, keep an eye out for overlay for one. Mostly though, it means the casual player has likely moved on which leaves stiffer competition from here on out. You have been advised (in my best Nick Capozzi voice, I miss Nick).
On to today, Clayton Kershaw picks right up at basically the same price as when he last pitched…over two months ago. The good news is he pitched a whole 3 innings in his rehab start. I know the guy’s a machine, but I’m not feeling the $13,500 price tag for 5 innings of Kershaw. That brings us to the next high priced ace, Jose Fernandez. The Marlins have already come right out and said Jose will be shut down if they’re eliminated from the playoffs. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t give me a warm fuzzy for his potential innings. For $12,700, I’ll look elsewhere. So, where should we look? Let’s take the jump and see:
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday September 12th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Not quite as spiritually moving as John Lennon, but imagine for a moment Jose Abreu were to actually put together two solid halves in the same year. “Imagine there’s no heaven, it’s easy if you try. No ‘He’ll end up below Andrus,’ for half the year. Above Andrus only this Jose guy. Imagine Abreu playing a decent, full season like today. Aha-ha… Imagine there’s no countries. It isn’t hard to do. Nothing to drop or trade for, and no ‘Abreu’s so cold it’s like this hell has a fridge in it’ too. Imagine all the people living to get a piece of…Abreu… You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one! I hope some day Abreu’ll be better than Andrus, and play an entire season as one.” So, Jose Abreu hit two homers yesterday (3-for-7, 7 RBIs, and 21st and 22nd HRs), and he’s been great recently, but it’s hard to get that excited about a guy for 2017 who invariably takes three months off every year. Can’t imagine he’s a top 25 player ever again. You-WHO-OOH! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
To paraphrase Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, “America has so many enemies: Iran, Iraq, China, Mordor, Josh Tomlin in away games, Justin Upton, Melvin Upton for the last two months, Clint Hurdle, the people on Twitter that take a trending topic and attach linkbait, Giancarlo Stanton’s groin when its injured, but not at all when its healthy, anyone that gets Mookie Betts out the once-in-a-blue-moon when someone can get him out, Clint Hurdle again, anyone that doesn’t appreciate blue raspberry, undesirable immigrants, by which I mean everyone that came after Carlos Martinez.” Yesterday, Carlos Martinez went 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners with 13 Ks to lower his ERA to 3.07. Thank you, come again! From last year to this year, C-Mart’s strikeout rate is down (9.2 to 7.8), his walk rate is unchanged, his velocity is virtually the same and his xFIP is up due to a lucky BABIP. So, what does that mean for Carlos Martinez 2017? Random prediction alert! I won’t be enthused about drafting him again next year, but he’ll likely be a solid #2 fantasy starter, i.e., good in a pinch, but not exciting, i.e., convenience forever, freshness never! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?