On behalf of everybody at Razzball, Happy Fathers Day to all of the fathers out there!  We’re closing in on the halfway point of the season and the Large Father himself, David Ortiz, comes in at #12 overall in our Player Rater.  Would I be looking to sell high?  The correct answer is it probably doesn’t matter.  Odds are you won’t be able to because he’s a DH only who is 40 years old.  The good news is that you more than likely got him pretty late in your draft and he’s giving you incredible value.  While I don’t expect him to hit 40 bombs, he should still contribute plenty down the stretch so feel free to ride him out on his retirement tour.  Let’s take a look at everything that has been posted on Razzball over the last week:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Bases haven’t been nearly full at all in Michael Fulmer‘s starts this past month!

After a rocky beginning to his Major League career, Fulmer has been absolutely on fire the past month, vaulting from “meh, another big prospect called up too early, schwatev” to “this guy is ROY!”  As in, Roy Campanella!  Wait, I don’t think he was a pitcher…

Featuring a huge fastball and an awesome beard, it’s getting tougher and tougher to not jump on board the Fulmer train on his incredible scoreless streak and 5 Ws in a row.  I usually write the intro before breaking down the start, but I worked a little out-of-sequence today.  Spoiler alert!  I’m so on board.  I’m trading in my “Mustache Rides – $0.25” shirt with Grey on it to “Beard Rides – $0.50” with Fulmer.  So without any more ado or facial hair-play, here’s how Fulmer looked yesterday in a dominating start against the Yanks:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hello everyone, and welcome to Sunday!

After a week off in which I studied game film of the 2003 Grey Cup QF’s (single greatest game in Canadian Football history), I am back and what a day to return to! There are many fantastic games on tap for today, and many high scoring ones at that as well, as we see some with very high O/U’s on the docket, with six games over 9 total runs scored. So why is this? Superb offenses? Maybe, but I have to say, I’m not excited about pitching options for the day, as there are many weak guys taking the mound today, and are likely to give up a whole bunch of runs. Gas cans.

There are plenty of opportunities to take advantage of. Kendall Graveman and John Lamb are two very mediocre pitchers facing off in what is shaping up to be a shootout. Adam Morgan is facing a Nats’ team that is primed to hang up a lot of runs. And for those of you playing the all-day slate, the Rockies-Padres games has a O/U at a whopping 12 total runs scored.

With many great offensive opportunities and gas cans to target, how do we attack pitching on a slate like this?

You’ll have to keep reading.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday June 13th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Did I just get something from nothing?  Because Justin Upton is nothing, and I got something yesterday — 2-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and a slam (4) and legs (2).  Therefore, hence, Argo the movie, vis-a-vis, I got something from nothing.  Take that all of you non-believers!  And you said he would never come around to be worth that top 25 pick.  I pfft on you.  A big fat pfft.  Come here, accept my pfft.  I got one good game from him out of 57!  Holy schnikeballs, I got only one good game from my 2nd rounder?  Please, neighbor’s cat, don’t confuse me for a ball of yarn as I curl up in a ball and sob.  Please, stop tapping me with your paw.  I am not a ball of yarn.  So, can Upton turn it around?  I believe he can.  At least moderately.  Last year, he hit two homers and .196 in June and .162 in July.  And you still drafted him this year, so apparently you don’t care about two-month slumps.  In 2014, he had a month of .226 with 3 HRs and a month of .169 with 3 HRs.  This year in April, he had a 38% strikeout percentage, 34% in May and 22% in June.  He’s already seeing the ball better.  If he finishes June with 6 homers and .259, then hit .343 in May, would you be shocked?  Well, you shouldn’t be, because those were months he did last year when he also had two sub-.200 months.  Upton gets awful for months; it’s what he does.  He also gets hot for months.  Unfortunately, the slump months came to start the season so it was more pronounced.  Pronounced specifically as:  Gäd, h? s?ks.  And, remember, it takes the Uptons a while to adjust to new leagues.  It took Melvin Upton three years and a first name change to adjust to the NL.  Hopefully, this is the start of something so Justin doesn’t have to resort to being Melvin Upton Jr. Jr.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m back baby! Returned henceforth from thy vacation, and I have no idea if that attempt at Ol’ English made any sense. Now I wanna drink a 40! Which is something Julio Urias can’t do!

So much happens in baseball when you’re gone for two weeks! Well, I was just on vacation for one week, but most of it was without internet. Yeah – rough! First time I’ve done a big vacation like that during the baseball season. Not gonna lie though – kinda worth it for a little break. But alas – we have a lot to catch up on! Like Urias getting a very surprising (to me) call up this early. Sure he was mowing down AAA, but he’s 19 and the Dodgers seemed to go into the year with a lot of pitching options. Then Alex Wood went from scratched (giving Urias his debut in a “spot-start” that went poorly against the Mets) to the DL, so Urias has a shot to stick in the rotation for a bit. With that little bit of extra leash, how would Urias respond in a tough matchup at Wrigley? Here’s how the MLB’s youngest cub fared last Thursday afternoon:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Super Two’s time has come, finally.  The rules for Super Two’s are as following:  any player(s) that has not been called up previously or has been called up previously but has more than and less than 180 service time days.  Service time days are counted backwards from 180 and if you get to 75 before you fall asleep, their service time has started.  Players who have Scott Boras call the management of the player’s team about service time will not have their service time start.  If Boras does not call, but his assistant does call, then service time does not start, unless the commissioner, Our Manfred, has to call Boras back directly.  Then service time counts two times as fast or the player has to pitch or hit at a rate of 12 frames per second, which is fast motion.  Of course, I have no idea when A.J. Reed or anyone else will be called up!  No one does!  Teams themselves can’t figure out Super Two.  Delegates vs. super delegates is less confusing, but, obviously, also less important.  Leave it to Major League Baseball to give you the most arcane rules possible.  Reed hasn’t been tearing up Triple-A, but neither has Tyler White in the majors, and the Astros are committed to winning, and winning means trying Reed.  Even if he hasn’t killed Triple-A, it doesn’t mean he won’t hit well in the majors, and he has big-time power.  Now is the time to grab him in every league, his Super Two thing that no one understands is just about to happen!  (So, was he a Super One before?  Jesus, can’t someone just say everyone becomes eligible to be called up on June 1st?  Would that be too hard?)  Anyway, here’s more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Felix Hernandez hit the DL with a calf strain.  He could veal it during his last start.  Sounds like a good injury to milk.  Sorry, I was just shaking out the pockets of these jeans I wore last night and I had a bunch of unused cow puns.  What’s a dad cow’s poop called?  Pa-nure!  Take it, Highlights, it’s yours!  So, James Paxton was called up to replace F-Her, who is likely going to only miss a few weeks, but Paxton could continue to get starts if he’s good.  So, can Paxton be good?  Is there’s twelve posts in post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-hype sleeper?  Paxton has shown flashes of brilliance with his 94 MPH fastball but the M’s have wanted Paxton to improve on a bunch of pitches and he’s already 27 years old, so is improvement coming?  Well, he had a 3.97 ERA in Triple-A this year and Steamer projects him as a streamer, so I have no faith whatsoever.   Speaking of faith, yesterday Paxton gave up runs like his character gave out marriage proposals.  Looking at his line is like looking at Chloe Sevigny — 3 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 5 unearned runs.  Paxton’s like when Picasso stood up from the toilet.  He’d look down and say, “That’s a work in progress.”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Vegas is approximately a 4 1/2 hour drive from where I live. The drive there is always fun, unless you leave on a Friday night and it seems like all 3.884 million inhabitants of Los Angeles are headed that way as well. Regardless, even with the traffic, the anticipation and excitement are at a fervent level in the beginning. You feel lucky. You’ve got your strategy down. You are going to come back a winner. Then you get there and reality sets in. For some it’s great. For the rest, Vegas would like to thank you for paying for the lights, wages, profits, etc…The ride back is either the Drive of Shame, the longest freaking journey in the history of mankind that has you screaming Are We There Yet? or you are floating on a magic carpet ride and it’s a Whole New World. We are entering that phase of the fantasy baseball season when some owners will start wondering when the fantasy football season starts, while others will be giddy with excitement at their place in the standings. I’m here to say that there’s a ton of baseball to be played. Don’t get too excited if you are on top and don’t give up hope… at least not yet.

In this weekly column, I will highlight some lower-owned players that performed well over the past week (5/22 – 5/28). If I think they can help your fantasy team, Obama will make it rain. If I do not, then they get a whammy. If you are not familiar with whammies, check out old episodes of the game show Press Your Luck.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Three Stooges are awesome. Unquestionably one of the greatest comedic acts of all time. If you’ve seen the Sean Hayes/Will Sasso Stooges film from a few years ago, well, I’m sorry about that. Hollywood has a special knack for ruining things these days, doesn’t it? Go check out Disorder in the Court, A Plumbing We Will Go, Brideless Groom, or any of the many other classic short films from this talented trio to get that sour taste out of your mouth. One of their early shorts, Whoops, I’m an Indian!, tends to get lost in the shuffle. The Stooges are caught cheating while gambling and are forced to run from the angry victims. Curly ends up marrying one of the pursuers when dressed as an Indian squaw (because his disguise is sooo convincing) and all is well until his wig slips off and the jig is up. It’s probably not their best work, but it never seems to be mentioned much anymore. A bit of an underrated gem, in my opinion. This week’s top add, Cleveland Indians third baseman/outfielder Jose Ramirez (51.4% owned; +25.8% over the past week), is another diamond in the rough much like that Stooges short. He’s gotten off to an impressive start this season (.305/.381/.447 with 22 runs, 3 homers, 19 RBI, and 4 steals in 161 plate appearances) thanks in large part to his incredible plate discipline. Ramirez has been excellent at pitch recognition (22.2% O-Swing% is 26th lowest among qualified players), and when he does swing at pitches outside of the strike zone, he makes contact at an elite rate (86.1% O-Contact% leads MLB). This has allowed him to strikeout at the third lowest rate (9.3%) among 181 qualifiers, and be one of only eight players with more walks than strikeouts (Zobrist, Span, Harper, Rizzo, Santana, Altuve, and Bautista are the others). Ramirez possesses 25 steal speed (though 15-18 is more realistic), and appears to have a shot to crack double digits in homers this season as well. He’s been moved up to the 5th spot in the lineup recently, and should qualify at 2B and SS in addition to the 3B/OF eligibility that was mentioned earlier. Terrific plate discipline, plus speed, developing power (23 years old), and eligible just about everywhere. Giddy up. Grab him if he’s still lingering on the wire.

Here are a couple of other interesting adds in fantasy baseball over the past week:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Greetings! Ahhh, nothing quite like receiving the honor of writing the Friday night roundup. I imagine its quite similar to receiving the Medal of Honor, the Purple Heart, or maybe a Nobel Peace Prize. It certainly feels a heckuva lot better than the pride of Julio Urias‘ owners on this fine Saturday. Yeah, Urias was a real spark plug for Dodger nation last night..Sorry, did I say spark plug? I meant butt plug. They were hoping for Justin Timberlake, but instead received JC Chavez. We all expected Christian Bale, but the performance was more Christian Slater. 2.3 innings pitched with three earned and four walks sounds more like Jorge De La Rosa than Jose Fernandez. With that being said, I’m not concerned with the outing whatsoever. That’s also possibly because I don’t own him anywhere, and don’t really care either way. Best of luck to you all though, my goodmen!

Anyway, here’s what else I noticed yesterday in fantasy baseball. Take heed!

Please, blog, may I have some more?