Fantasy Baseball Advice

Yesterday, Rafael Furcal went 2-for-4 with a steal.  I thought Furcal was overvalued in the preseason because I thought he was more fragile than Alanis after a breakup.  Well, he’s actually played the whole season, albeit terribly.  He’s been on base over 200 times.  He has 10 steals with 6 times caught.  Who gave him Kirk Gibson’s fist-pumping legs for five months?  But, and here’s the head turner, he has 4 steals in the last seven games.  Not sure what happened to Furcal the first 95% of the season, 10 steals used to be a good month for him.  Maybe he’s a Latin 31.  But never us mind, he’s hot right now.  If he was dropped anywhere, he’s currently hitting over .500 in the last week with 4 steals.  Go fur it!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Bobby Jenks – I might’ve misspoke when I said Linebrink would be the closer.  Grey wrong?  Get outta here this instant! Yeah, I know, random italicized voice, the guy who traded for Jose Reyes in one league in May being wrong is crazy.  I originally said Linebrink because of how Ozzie had used him recently.  But Linebrink has been awful.  No disputing that.  Then again, I don’t think Matt Thornton’s going to suddenly become Franklin Morales of last week.  Either way, I don’t think this is a great situation for saves.  Okay, correction done.

Jermaine Dye – 2 HRs yesterday as he came down with a case of Furcalitis, a disease that boosts one’s stats when games no longer matter.

Michael Aubrey – HR yesterday.  I also really love him on Real Estate Intervention.

Matt Wieters – Hit another homer yesterday.  Member all that (lack of) work he did over the summer to make him underrated next year?  Yeah, he’s been outta his mind recently.  I knew it would happen eventually, I was kinda hoping eventually was next April.

Travis Snider – HR yesterday.  4 for his last 7, but it was against Orioles pitching and, as I tell my girlfriend, beware the small sample size.

Francisco Liriano – Should start against the Royals on Sunday.  He’ll get to face Greinke.  Sometimes it just ain’t your year.

Carlos Guillen – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs with 2 HRs yesterday.  With the way he’s played since returning from injury, he should sit out two months every year.  Oh, wait, he does.

Chad Billingsley – 6 IP, 3 ER, 9 Ks vs. the Nats.  I think they call this a tune-up for the playoffs.  Considering how broken down he’s been lately, they would be right.

Ryan Zimmerman – Hit his 31st homer yesterday and so did Miguel Cabrera.  I mention that for symmetry and because, other than the average, Zimmerman’s been just as valuable.

Drew Stubbs – 2-for-6, 2 steals.  What, no homers?

Homer Bailey – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 0 Ks.  Blech, but he got the win.  I’m gonna have to get over not liking him because I think I’ll probably own him in some leagues next year.

Jonathan Sanchez – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 9 Ks.  I pegged him as a borderline starter to take a gamble on for yesterday, along with Homer Bailey.

Randy Choate – Got the save yesterday.  So that’s who the closer is!  Choate came in to get two lefties and a righty (which turned into two righties and a lefty – Wakamatsu is a magician!)

Wade Davis – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 6 Ks.  He gets Baltimore and supposedly the last start of the year vs. the Yankees, which will be the B lineup.  And there is no A lineup on the Orioles.

Gaby Sanchez – HR yesterday.  (S)He’s a decent name to look at in deep NL-Only keepers.  Keepers only though, (s)he’s not playing much at all right now.

Tim Hudson – 6 IP, 2 ER, 11 baserunners as he tied his owners to the WHIPping post.  As someone who watched 75% of this game, Hudson looked terrible.  Got very lucky, even with Kelly Johnson mucking up a double play ball.

Chris Narveson – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 10 Ks.  Anyone who’s read this blog for even a short period of time knows I got excited when I saw 10 Ks in under 6 innings.  Unfortunately, he gets the Rockies in Coors next time out so there’s nothing to see here.

Bud Norris – 6 IP, 0 ER.  Nice, but in the same boat as Narveson with a tough next matchup (@Philly).

Julio Borbon – Stole his 17th base yesterday in only 119 ABs.  I have a feeling someone’s value is going to be inflated next year.

Brad Lidge – 2/3 IP, 2 ER and his 11th blown save.  Imagine if Scioscia managed the Phillies.  Lidge would be in the Phanatic costume doing belly flops during rain delays.

Rich Harden – Now the Cubs are saying he may get shut down.  Yeah, I said that last week.  Read the blog, doode!

Milton Bradley – Has a new game, Pin The Blame On The Cubbies.

Before we get into today’s Buy/Sell, I want to clear something up.  Last week someone commented that my Buy/Sell post only had Buy guys in it for very deep leagues.  This is sorta true.  With only a little over a month left of the season, just about every league’s trade deadline has past.  So I could tell you to buy Manny Ramirez, but how are you going to do that?  I do believe in the last month of the season, there’s something else you should be doing.  Or actually not doing.  You should no longer be waiting around for production.  Jermaine Dye‘s put up fine stats this year.  You guys going to get a room in October and talk about his great May?  If Rajai Davis is on your waivers and you need steals and don’t need power, forget Dye’s previous production and go for the here and now.  You’re up against the clock, fantasy baseballers (<–my Mom’s term).  You only have so much time to make this shizz happen.  If it’s going to happen.  This is more or less for one year leagues.  In keepers, you need to be prudent about who you can drop.  Oh, and bee-tee-dubya, Jermaine Dye was dropped to fifth in the order and has one homer in the past month while batting .187.  Cut the umbilical, doode.  You guys are done.  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell for this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Jack Cust – Wait, I know a better title for this post, “How To Bore The Crap Out Of Your Readers With Boring Ass Names?” Random italicized voice, you seem like you have a bit of a chip on your shoulders.  No, not at all. Oh, okay.  So Cust may be boring, but when do I tell you to pick up Cust?  Maybe twice a year?  This is one of those times.  (Sidenote:  When I was seven years old, I kept bugging my grandparents to take me to see the hookers in New York because I wanted to see if they really had hooks.  So we go down a street in pre-Giuliani New York filled with prostitutes.  Of course, my grandparents, being the first generation of ridiculous — me being the 3rd, pull up to a prostitute to ask her to show me her hook.  As soon as the window goes down, the prostitute says to my grandfather regarding my grandmother, “Dump the b**ch and make the switch.” Ah, yes, memories.)  To tie it back in, dump Dye and switch to Cust.

Julio Borbon/Chris Davis – Hank Blalock’s loss is Chris Davis and Julio Borbon’s gain.  For Borbon, SAGNOF!  For Davis, pray for less Ks and more power.

Jonathan Sanchez – If you throw out May and June when Sanchez was dirty, and only count the other months when he was filthy, he has a sub-3 ERA.

Scott Podsednik – Never been a big fan of Podsednik’s (though his wife is hot as dog balls), but he’s been terrific just about the whole season.  He’s giving you a poor man’s Victorino right now.  I will call you Feign Victorino.

John Smoltz – Wasn’t that long ago I was pretty down on Smoltz.  Hey, it’s a fantasy baseball ‘pert’s prerogative to change his mind.  Smoltz has a real nice schedule ahead and supposedly Carpenter spotted how he was tipping his pitches.

Leo Nunez – He’s been getting saves for 2 months now.  He’s owned in only 19% of ESPN leagues.  Finally, we figure out how many ESPN leagues have been abandoned.

Eric Young Jr. – SAGNOF!

Tim Hudson – Will return on Monday.  I went over him in this morning’s post.  Go ahead and scroll down.  I’ll wait.  *taps finger, sips water, burps*  Hey, there you are!  Okay, now lower your eyes to the next line.  Lower… Lower… You’re still reading this line.

J.P. Wheelerfour – The Rays have very little room for error.  If Howell continues to blow games, someone will be called in to replace him.  Unfortunately, it’s not clear cut who that somebody will be.

Ryan Roberts – Besides sounding like someone who got their start in the talkies, Roberts has been on fire recently.  Batting near .450 in the last week.

Michael Aubrey – Those Orioles always needing an Aubrey!  Michael Aubrey’s been diddling himself for years in the minors, but the Orioles are giving him time vs. righties.  I wouldn’t pick him up in mixed leagues, but in AL-Only leagues I’d take a flier.

Brandon Allen – Brandon Allen’s giving you his guarantee or your money back!!!  I like Allen better than Aubrey by a lot, but I’m still not crazy for him in mixed leagues.  I also went over him in the September call ups post-a-ma-whoosies.

SELL

Johan Santana – If he’s still owned in your league, your league has an absentee owner.  Send that absentee owner an email telling them they suck.

Charlie Haeger – I hate knuckleballers.  The pitch is too unpredictable for even the pitcher.  At any moment, he could give you a roofie shellacking.  So I won’t own Haeger. But he does have a decent matchup next.  If you have room for risk, do what you do.

Chipper Jones – 420 at-bats.  What is the type of at-bats Adam Jones has right after smoking a bowl? No, good guess though.  It’s the over/under for Chipper this year.  He’s at 381.  So do you think he can hit 15 homers in the next 40 ABs that he’ll spread out over the course of a month?  Or do you think you can find someone more valuable on waivers?  This has a lot to do with your league, but Chipper’s struggling with a wrist injury and could be on the DL by September 15th.  So it might be time to lose the glass Chipper in ten team leagues.