As Alex Rodriguez rehabs down in Miami, the heat (oofa!) is on his gambling habits. “According to the baseball executive, MLB has yet to positively determine that Rodriguez took part in the (poker) games, which reportedly included actors Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, John Malkovich and that guy in that movie starring that other guy.” Poker is a game played by men or women who will beat your ass, so you know A-Rod is only getting invited to these games because he’s probably the world’s worst poker player.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Carl Crawford left yesterday’s game with a sore shoulder. He first felt discomfort on Wednesday. In the locker room, here’s how Carl explained it, “You don’t want to feel that pain like that… I’ve never really had nothing like that before… It locked up real bad.” Now this sounds terrible, right? Okay, here’s how Crawford finished, “I think it should be a day-to-day thing.” Wait, what? You don’t want to feel pain like that… It locked up real bad… It’s fine. Oh, okay. This sounds like when my grandmother would talk about how she can’t see or walk, then she’d go play mah jong. You don’t need to see, the tiles’ engravings are raised.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Let’s see, winner of the All-Star game gets home field advantage… The WBC… Open the season in another country… Steroids testing after letting the world believe Bret Boone was good… Finally, interleague play. Selig, hang your legacy right next to the monkey carcass that helped spread the AIDS virus. Well, interleague is here whether we like it or not. I don’t, but this is only partially about me. So what can we do about interleague play for fantasy baseball?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yes, Magic Johnson recovered from AIDS faster than Casey Kotchman beat the kissing disease. Yes, his name sounds like he should be some superhero’s little buddy. No, I don’t have him on any team. So why am I recommending you get him for your fantasy baseball team?Please, blog, may I have some more?
He almost lost the job last April. If you can find an owner willing to trade you Troy Tulowitzki for Jeter or Torii Hunter or Carlos Guillen, I’d do it. I think the Polish have a rite of passion that they have to wear socks with their flip-flops for at least ten years of their life.Please, blog, may I have some more?