Yesterday (but really every time he pitches), Chris Sale went 8 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 13 Ks, ERA down to 0.91, and yet another no decision. Elias Sports Bureau said, “Chris Sale had his 4th start in last five seasons on Thursday with 8 IP, 10+ Ks, 0 ER without getting win; no one else has more than one. Also, there’s 16 different vending machines in our company to choose from, but only one has M&M’s and Drake’s Apple Fruit Pie for 50 Cent that elicits Snickers with the wrappers.” God, what a bunch of nerds! Not like us fantasy baseball cool kids! I wanna tent the Elias Sports Bureau office, fart in there and leave. Seriously, that’s what I want. I need a wish genie, up in here! Up in here! So, Chris Sale is flippin’ awesome once again, and nothing can stop him except a rock vs. his scissors. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
If good pitching beats good hitting most of the time, what does bad pitching do against good hitting? Or even bad hitting? Someone, somewhere (ok, in San Diego) will have to have a big day against Patrick Corbin. I think it’s more than one player and yes, even the bad hitters. I like my righty hitters against Corbin even in Petco. Patrick has been terrible since coming back from TJS. Last year he allowed 24 homers in 155 innings with a .286 BAA. This year he’s only allowed 1 homer but still a .303 BAA with 7 BB and only 7 K in 16 innings. Maybe he’ll get it back some day, but that day won’t be today. Manuel Margot at $2,800? Yes please. Hunter Renfroe at $2,900? He’s only got 1 K in 19 AB’s against lefties. I think K rates stabilize the quickest so I’m in there as well. Your usual suspects for the Padres…well suspect – Wil Myers at $3,800 – should also be considered. Outside that, most (ALL) of my picks are against bad pitching. Is there any other way? Once again I’ll do it my way. Ok, Frank’s way! Either way….no regerts this week.
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I wonder if Freddie Freeman has Fletch-like dreams where he pictures himself with a huge afro and his name is Freddie World B. Freeman. “He’s actually 6-5, with the afro, 6-9. Pretty good hands, loves to hit ones deep. His club is behind by three, and World B. Freeman drains a three-run homer! Wow, was that some kind of hit. You know this kid from the gritty streets of Orange County, California sure can play.” By the way, gritty in Orange County refers to a Sonic Drive-In that has a B grade from the Health Department. So, yesterday, Freeman put up those stats that I told you to pay a 2nd round price for — 4-for-5, 3 runs, and a double slam (1, 2) and legs (1), hitting .346 on the year. I was truly perplexed how low I saw some people ranking Freeman in the preseason. If anything, I think a stronger case could’ve been made to have Freeman ranked above Miggy, who was a consensus top 12 pick everywhere. Guess Freeman could use the name Mr. Under-ranked when he sneaks into country clubs to visit Dansby Swanson (1-for-5, 1st homer, hitting .179). Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Moogly-boogly! It’s been a long winter. The Buy/Sell Column’s back, helping you know when the hell you’re supposed to stop working early on Friday. During the offseason, while you were diddling and thinking about how your middle school nickname was Skidmark, I, The Buy/Sell Column was re-reenacting scenes from Moonlight with puppets in the BBQ Belt of Alabama because I’M HARDCORE! You want some Rip Taylor-wannabe, throwing confetti at your feet or you want a Buy/Sell Column that simulates puppets having hand-sex on a beach to a very anti-puppet sex audience!? Like Jose Altuve trying to get the Cocoa Puffs, you want the latter! Okay, enough of the hubbub on the tomfoolery, I’m in on Tyler Saladino. Last year, Saladino had eight homers and 11 steals in only 298 ABs while hitting .282. One year in the minors, he stole 38 bases, and, one year in the minors, he hit 16 homers. Put that together, and you have Francisco Lindor! Okay, kidding, but he’s hitting leadoff, is eligible at 2B and SS, and can get a few homers while also stealing some bases. And I’m not excited about him simply because I named one of my puppets in Alabama, Tosser Saladino. My love for Saladino did not start when I heard he had a brother named Cucumber Saladino. Wrong, I don’t love Saladino simply because I’m in LA and I picture him topped with wheatgrass. Eff your wheatgrass, Los Angeles! Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Before we jump right into this draft recap, let’s go over a little bit of background about the league and its details. This isn’t like the typical RCL 5×5 rotisserie league we often talk about in this space. LOEG is a 10×10 head-to-head keeper league, with 10 teams and four keepers per team from year to year. The league has been around for something like ten years and has been graced by the presence of yours truly for the past five.
Since the categories, scoring, and rules are a little different in this league I’ll break down all the details below. I think it’s important to break this down a bit first because not only do I want to bore you to death, but I want you to have all the information while you are going over the results and making fun of my team in the comments section. Anyway, here we go:
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To paraphrase Tupac from Brenda’s Got a Baby, “I hear Grey’s got 2017 fantasy baseball rankings, but Grey’s barely got a brain. A damn shame. That guy can hardly spell his name. GREY’S….GOT EM….RANKINGS! Don’t you know he’s got ’em. He wrote them solo, and he wrote them on his bathroom floor and didn’t know what to throw away and what to keep. He crumbled these rankings up and threw them in a trash heap. GREY’S….GOT EM….RANKINGS! Don’t you know he’s got ’em.” Don’t say I don’t keep my shizz socially conscious. Or is it socially conscience? Meh, doesn’t matter, I do it either way. So, this top 60 starters has seven pitchers I’m not crazy about. That’s more than the last post, but still not that many. I.e., there’s a ton of starters to draft. As with previous rankings posts, my projections are included and where I see tiers starting and stopping. Anyway, here’s the top 60 starters for 2017 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here we are, the third of four posts about the Couch Managers 2017 Industry Mock Draft. Previously, I posted recaps of rounds 1-6 and rounds 7-12. This post is for rounds 13-18. The final post will be for rounds 19-23. Complicated stuff, I know. But try to keep up.
In case you have yet to see my previous posts, here is a quick recap of the league rules for this mock:
This mock was for a 15-team, 5×5 roto, with 23 roster spots made up of 9 pitchers (9), 1 spot for each position (8), a second catcher (1), 2 more outfielders (2), one corner infielder (1), one middle infielder (1), and one utility position (1).
As I have done with the other posts, I’ll post the results below by round and will offer a few of my thoughts for each round…Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’re under a month away until pitchers and catchers report to two of the worst states in the Union. This is a good time to check-in with some of those idiots who ruined your fantasy season last year. Each week I’m going to be taking a look at any player who is listed as injured or is about to come back from injury or who is just an injury waiting to happen–looking at you Mike Stanton–I’ll call you Giancarlo when you start acting like Giancarlo. This first article might be a little long, but hopefully I won’t have to cover 14 injuries in a single week during the regular season.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Greetings, friends. I hopped over to the football side of things once last year’s baseball season ended, but now I’m back. And apparently, I am such a disturbed individual that I am doing fantasy baseball mock drafts in early January. And, I am writing about them. And, well, I just wanted to start another sentence with and because it feels so wrong but so right at the same time. Anyway, moving on.
I was fortunate enough to be invited to the Couch Managers 2017 Industry Mock Draft, and we’re going to recap it here. This mock was for a 15-team, 5×5 roto, with 23 roster spots made up of 9 pitchers (9), 1 spot for each position (8), a second catcher (1), 2 more outfielders (2), one corner infielder (1), one middle infielder (1), and one utility position (1). As long as I did that math correctly, that is 23 spots.
Below, I will provide the results for the first six rounds and a give my thoughts for each round. I’ll do the same for rounds 7-12, 13-18, and 19-23 in subsequent posts. I’ll try to keep it brief. All we really care about are the results here, right? Feel free to tell me how awesome or crappy you think my team is, along with what you think were the best and worst picks of the draft or the different rounds…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Holy shizzballs. That’s not the Urban Dictionary definition of shizzballs either, which is when you shizz your grapes. That’s shizzballs as in this is the greatest display of sexiness since a young Kim Cattrall was featured in a window display. Brian Dozier is doing more for the long ball than any old man with shizzballs could ever imagine. That’s back to the original definition of shizzballs. Right now, Dozier is the exact perfect moment when your 12-year-old self pressed the buttons perfectly together on the old cable box and unscrambled Playboy TV at its best, with a perfectly scrolled, snowy version of Naughty Candid Camera. Trying to cover, when being caught, “It’s Allen Funt, mom. Uh…Maybe that’s not an F on the front of his last name.” Yesterday, Brian Dozier hit three more homers — 3-for-5, 4 RBIs, hitting .279 — and now has 38 homers on the year, and is easily leading the entire majors for homers in the 2nd half with 24 homers. For 2017, he’s going to be tough to peg, due to his inflated HR/FB% and falling line drive rate, but he doesn’t look much worse than a 25 HR/15 SB guy, which still has value. For this year, obviously you ride the lightning. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?