Maybe we shut down pitchers after they throw a perfect game, instead of debating a Stephen Strasburg skin tag and whether we should have it checked out. This isn’t entirely fantasy related, but there was like seven games yesterday, so bear with me.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Billy Hamilton is the fastest player in the game. There’s really no disputing it, at this point. In his first 51 games at High-A, Hamilton has 60 steals. Over his last ten games, he’s been on a bit of a rampage, swiping 20 bags (!!!) and putting himself in position to surpass 100 steals before July. Now that’s just plain silly. Hamilton tallied 103 in a full season at Low-A Dayton in 2011, and people thought that was ridiculous. And while there’s no denying the truly remarkable nature of what he’s accomplishing this year, it’s important to keep in mind the other end of this equation: the opposing defenses. I absolutely believe that Hamilton is the fastest dude in baseball, at any level. That speed, however, is only being tested by A-Ball defenses. Pitchers are slower to the plate, catchers misfire to second, infielders are sloppy with tags. Watch any highlight reel of his, and you’ll see what I mean. Not to suggest that his wheels won’t translate as he climbs the ladder — he’ll be stealing plenty of bags when he arrives in the bigs with the Reds. But, don’t expect this kind of absurdity on the basepaths.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kevin Gregg was handed his 6th blown save yesterday. He’s tizzerrible. I won’t defend him. Your honor, no questions at this time. I just don’t see the Orioles bothering to switch things up. They’re defeated. Look into their eyes and you see the shadow of Cal Ripken Jr.Please, blog, may I have some more?
David Wright has a stress fracture in his lower back. It’s the new Mets, same as the old Mess! I find it hard to believe this is still The Curse of the Shirtless Bernazard, but who else is evil eyeing them? George Foster? (BTW, If George Foster ever evil eyed you for longer than 5 seconds, you’d turn to stone. Fact!) The Mets are downplaying Wright’s injury, but what else is new with the Mets? Let’s look at their truthiness in some recent reports: In 2009, “Reyes will be out for a few days.” In reality, he’s only fully recovered two years later. In 2009, “Beltran will be out for three to five days.” In reality, he missed two seasons. “K-Rod and his stepfather, an up and coming videographer, were remaking the “Beat It” video.” In reality, K-Rod blew Kabuki white powder into his stepfather’s face and hit him over the head with a metal chair. So the Mets are saying Wright might miss only a week and a half to two weeks. Um, okay. Even if he returns quickly, a stress fracture in his lower back isn’t going to hurt his power? Yeah, that’s rhetorical. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jose Reyes – 2-for-5, 2 steals. Now has 16 steals on the year. How do you motivate overpaid athletes? With the allure of being vastly overpaid.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jake Peavy is due back in less than a week unless he has a setback. That ‘unless’ eats deep fried butter with a side of blooming onion, needs a crane to go to the bathroom and a mop to clean its inner thighs. I’ll admit Peavy makes me smize, as Tyra would say. I smized more when he was in Petco, but he’s pitched well in his rehab. Does he deserve another chance? Sure, why not? What, he kicked your puppy’s nads? Now if anyone tells you what you can expect of him this year other than three more DL stints, they’re lying, those no good liars. You take the flyer on him if he’s on your waivers just hoping he stays healthy and produces. The rest is icing. …Actually, I’m using the rest is icing cliche wrong. If he stays healthy and produces, that is the icing. Can you tell I wrote this when I was hungry? Mmm…Deep fried butter. Anyway, here’s some players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Vicente Padilla – I feel like one small point that’s getting lost in all of this Padilla talk is that he sucks.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brandon Morrow lost the no-hitter but pitched as well as any pitcher this year. 9 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit, 2 Walks and 17 Ks. Though not everyone was impressed. When reached for comment after the game, Adam Lind said, “If you gave me 27 outs, I could strike out 17 times.” Did Morrow go near-no-no vs.Please, blog, may I have some more?
John Danks had a no-hitter through 6 innings yesterday and ended with a line of 9 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 7 Ks. That’s Jo-Da showing us how to harness midi-chlorians. Top ten in the AL with my WHIP at 1.13 through 112 innings, have I. Hmmm… Yessss. A Yoda translator, I do not need because I am Jo-Da.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Mike Pelfrey went from totally chic to totally geek in the matter of 4 starts. Last night, he dropped a 4 2/3 IP, 7 ER bomb and now he’s staring at nickels. Pardon the wavy lines as we jump in The Way Back Machine and see what I said in April, “His K-rate prior to 2010 was pretty poor. Even this year, it’s only a little above his career mark. His biggest adjustment so far seems to be his ability to avoid the homer ball and leave men on base. He can be usable as a 4th fantasy starter, especially in Metco.” And that’s me copying and pasting me! Nothing’s really changed other than he’s no longer leaving men on base, his homers have gone up (literally) and his lack of Ks are catching up to him. Hmm… Maybe some stuff has changed. He had a 1.98 ERA at Metco prior to last night, so that’s still a nice matchup start, but Pelfrey is no longer a must own. At 109 IP on the year and only 67 Ks, he’s a notch below Jon Garland in K-rate. I just popped a zit in the mirror and spelled out, “You can probably do better than Pelfrey.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jose Reyes – Supposed to return on Tuesday. I really want to believe this, but the Met doctors are a joke. Did they go to that med school Steve Guttenberg went in Bad Medicine?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Andre Ethier had a June line of 9/3/12/.195… In 2008. June gloom? Perhaps. In 2009, he had a May as atrocious. So he can come out of this funk. In the last three years, Ethier has hit 30 points better in the 2nd half.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Matt LaPorta homered in his third straight game. Who needs LeBron when you got LaPorta? BTW, I don’t like basketball because I think a 7 foot tall guy making a basket is as difficult as me throwing away something in a garbage can, but I suggest you check out the LeBron documentary. Was really good. Total puff piece, but I was on the edge of my feeling castle about to emote. Hey, Joel Siegel, I’m carrying on the movie and mustache thing! Maybe LaPorta’s just Pronk II: Hasta LaPorta Baby. Maybe the MLP package is finally on. Maybe he does nothing starting tomorrow. At your corner infidel, I’d take a flyer on LaPorta for the chance you get a cheap 15 homers. If he maintains this pace for 3 months, he’ll have Cleveland fans almost forget they traded CC Pitching Factory for him. Just like Lou Marson and Jason Donald’s play is making them forget about Cliff Lee. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Justin Masterson – 8 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks. He must’ve decided it was time to step it up since 3,463 Yahoo teams had dropped him.Please, blog, may I have some more?