Brandon Beachy left Saturday’s start with a sore elbow.  Usually when pitchers have a sore elbow it means one of two things.  One, they’re going on the DL for a long period of time.  Or two, they’re going to say they’re going on the DL for only 15 days but it will be a long time.  Yeah, those are kinda the same things, but it adds a little flare when I break them up into two things.  My English Comp professor would’ve said, “Grey, you add filler on top of your filler then you put commas where they’re not supposed to be then, add more filler.  Have you considered a math major?”  I told you to sell him about two weeks ago, but I understand how hard it is to sell an overperformer, so many of you were probably stuck with Beachy, or stranded, as the case may be.  I’d DL him and hope for better news heretothen.  Bee tee dubya, I just made up heretothen.  Pretty good, right?  Feel free to use it for the rest of twelve after twenty.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Kris Medlen – The Braves stretched out Medlen, then yo-yo’d all over the place with what he should and would be doing.  Fredi Gonzalez said, “I have enough problems to worry about since I can’t pitch Venters 400 innings this year.”  Now with Beachy’s injury, Medlen remains in the bullpen.  Yup.  Instead, the Braves are filling Beachy’s rotation spot with Jair Jurrjens.  Obviously, the Braves management threw a dart at a board to fill the rotation spot and said dart landed in a nearby toilet.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

You smell that?  No, not your armpits.  That’s Opening Day.  The real thing this time!  I love you, you sick, twisted, little game run by an egomaniac with a bad toupee.   I love you!  I want to touch baseball’s boobies!  They are warm to my touch; those beautiful baseball boobies!  I am gushing over baseball’s boobies!  Grey, um, you’re writing this down; this isn’t your inner monologue.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

With the top 40 outfielders, we’ve finished all the hitter recaps.  We meaning me, but I’ll include you.  No, that’s not a cue to try to hold my hand.  Why are you now patting my butt?  (Here’s all the final 2011 fantasy baseball rankings.  They’re also to your left… your other left.  And down.)  The pitching recap will begin next.  To recap, the end of the season rankings are based on ESPN’s Player Rater.  I felt the easiest way to keep it objective would to go this course.  This way when I say someone finished 30th and I ranked them 23rd in the preseason it carries more weight.  Does this mean I think ESPN’s Player Rater is perfect?  No.  It’s just an objective third party to see how well my preseason rankings did.  Anyway, here’s the top 40 outfielders for 2011 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

21.

Please, blog, may I have some more?