Fantasy Baseball Advice

Gone over the catchers, 1st basemen, 2nd basemen, shortstops and 3rd basemen.  Guess what’s next!  The title might have gave it away.  With the top 20 outfielders a pattern emerges.  Steroids can be tested for, but Red Bull can’t.  It was the summer of speed and somewhere Ron LeFlore smiles.  Since outfield is a deep position, I think I’m going to turn this one to 40.  Those will be here on Thursday.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 outfielders for 2009 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

1. Carl Crawford – For four years, Crawford was featured prominently in the top of the preseason rankings for outfielders, and, in 2009, he finally fulfilled that promise by ranking first overall at the end of the season.  Wouldn’t you know it, last year was not one of those top preseason ranking years.  After an abysmal 2008, Crawford’s stock did a Triple Lindy coming into 2009.  Then he exploded for 21 steals in May and he looked like he might surpass Lou Brock’s career total by August.  Unfortunately, he slowed down in the 2nd half.  Let’s hope it wasn’t his knee shouting expletives at the artificial turf.  Preseason Rank #10, 2009 Projections:  85/15/80/.300/45, Final Numbers:  96/15/68/.305/60

2. Jacoby Ellsbury – Hamilton-Burrishly, Ellsbury and Crawford dueled during the regular season to see who would steal more bases, Ellsbury won the battle, but Crawford the war.  On a sidenote, not such a great sign that the top two outfielders gave a majority of value with the steal.  Where’s the 40 homer outfielders?  There were none.  Not even Adam Dunn.  That’s something that will need to be addressed in its own post during the offseason.  Seems like something for December Grey.  Preseason Rank #16, 2009 Projections:  110/10/60/.285/40, Final Numbers:  94/8/60/.301/70

3. Ryan Braun – I said this the other day when talking about Evan Longoria, but it applies here, as well.  Braun may not have been a disappointment per se, but eff “per se” in its Frenchy-sounding goolie.  I wanted 40 homers from Braun!  Preseason Rank #2, 2009 Projections:  100/40/110/.280/15, Final Numbers:  113/32/114/.320/20

4. Matt Kemp – Here’s what I said last January, “I not only bought into the Matt Kemp hype, I rolled it up in decorative sugar and began to sell it at a local bake sale.  You want someone in the fourth round in 2009 that could be a first or second rounder in 2010?  Matt Kemp’s your man, man.  He’s the future, kids.”  And that’s me quoting me!  And me was right.  Next year, I’m taking Kemp in the 1st round and I’m going to like it.  Preseason Rank #11, 2009 Projections:  95/24/80/.295/30, Final Numbers:  97/26/101/.297/34

5. Ichiro Suzuki – The average is great, the steals are okay, the homers are bleh.  Another Ichiro year.  Preseason Rank #12, 2009 Projections:  110/7/50/.315/35, Final Numbers:  88/11/46/.352/26

6. Matt Holliday – Did it help his RBIs to bat behind Pujols?  Probably.  Maybe a few more homers than if he stayed with the A’s?  Yup, but as you see from my preseason projections he was pretty much in line with what I thought he’d do.  He was scorching hot when he went from the A’s to the Cards.  I believe that he would’ve been hot in the 2nd half no matter where he played.  Next year when people are saying he’ll return to 30 homers, I’m going to say again he’s a 25 home run hitter.  Unless he signs with the Rockies or the Yankees.  Preseason Rank #5, 2009 Projections:  90/22/105/.310/12, Final Numbers:  94/24/109/.313/14

7. Bobby Abreu – Who would’ve put three Angels in the top 20 in the beginning of the year?  Gene Autry’s Ghost, perhaps.  But not many people.  I thought Abreu would steal a bit more on the Angels, but I thought the years of 30 steals were long gone.  Preseason Rank #25, 2009 Projections:  110/17/100/.300/20, Final Numbers:  96/15/103/.293/30

8. Michael Bourn – Speed is definitely in a renaissance.  It’s like the go-go 80s with Rock Raines sniffing coke off of the dashboard of Keith Hernandez’s El Dorado.  All we need now is for Okrent to send out the standings in the mail.  Makes you wonder if speed would’ve ever left the scene if it wasn’t for steroids.  Preseason Rank #66, 2009 Projections:  70/4/30/.240/40, Final Numbers:  97/3/35/.285/61

9. Adam Lind – I’ve already talked a bit about my thoughts on Lind for 2010.  Right now, we’re talking about 2009, ya’ll.  He’ll be the magical 27 years old in 2010.  Shoot, we’re talking about 2009.  Um, he had a good year.  Yeah, that’s the ticket.  (There will be more to come!)  Preseason Rank #61, 2009 Projections:  65/22/85/.275/3, Final Numbers:  93/35/114/.305/1

10. Jayson Werth – Hopefully you didn’t abandon ship when he got off to a rocky April start (2 homers, 10 RBIs).  After that, Werth ended up having a very consistent season, hitting at least 6 homers every month.  Then he chucked in 5 steals in four games of October because he obviously owned himself in a H2H league.  Preseason Rank #41, 2009 Projections:  95/17/70/.270/17, Final Numbers:  98/36/99/.268/20

11. Jason Bay – Now for the inconsistent Jason.  He hit 19 of his homers in two months of the season (May and August).  In July, he hit 1 homer and drove in only 5 runs.  On the bright side, he must’ve realized he was starring in a donkey show with him being the donkey because he contributed 6 steals in July.  Preseason Rank #17, 2009 Projections:  100/32/110/.280/10, Final Numbers:  103/36/119/.267/13

12. Justin Upton – I see your love for B.J. and I raise you a 20/20/.300 season.  Preseason Rank #48, 2009 Projections:  70/20/70/.260/7, Final Numbers:  84/26/86/.300/20

13. Kendry Morales – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen post. Final Numbers:

14. Ben Zobrist – Went over him in the top 20 2nd basemen post.  Final Numbers:

15. Shin-Soo Choo – I wonder if there’s a fantasy baseball blogger in Korea writing Torii Hunter is the American Shin-Soo Choo.  Things that make you say hmm…  Preseason Rank #51, 2009 Projections:  70/16/70/.280/11, Final Numbers:  87/20/86/.300/21

16. Denard Span – Did I underestimate Denard Dawg’s relevance in the beginning of the season?  I don’t think so, since my projections were pretty spot-on.  So why did I rank him 53rd?  Because I didn’t realize how few homers would come out of the outfield in 2009.  You could’ve found 27 guys who contributed 20 steals, but how many guys hit 30 homers?  11 guys.  To be continued… Preseason Rank #53, 2009 Projections:  90/8/60/.285/20, Final Numbers:  97/8/68/.311/23

17. Torii Hunter – On July 3rd, I told you to sell Hunter when he was at 17/13.  In the last three months, he went 5/5.  Cust kayin’.  Preseason Rank #30, 2009 Projections:  85/24/85/.275/17, Final Numbers:  74/22/90/.299/18

18. Nyjer Morgan – Let’s reenact the day Nyjer was traded from the Pirates.  “Nyjer, you’ve been traded.”  A five minute dance, followed by ten minutes of celebratory hoots and hollers as he lets everyone know how glad he is to be out of the Pirates organization.  “Nyjer, you’re going to the Nats.”  Nyjer cries.  Then he devotes himself to proving the Pirates wrong as he hits .351 with the Nats and steals 24 bases in 49 games.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  74/3/39/.307/42

19. Johnny Damon – The Yankees figured out a way to reverse the effects of all of their aging players.  Have them play in a Little League field.  Preseason Rank #26, 2009 Projections:  105/15/70/.285/20, Final Numbers:  107/24/82/.282/12

20. Shane Victorino – Wait, Denard Dawg was supposed to be emulating Victorino.  Teacher, student… Not student, teacher.  Not student, teacher!  Victorino’s season worries me a bit because he did much better last year in 50 less at-bats.  In 620 ABs in 2009, his stats should look better.  I’ve already had my love of Sparkakis desecrated this year.  Not you too, Victorino… Please.   Preseason Rank #15, 2009 Projections:  100/15/60/.285/35, Final Numbers:  102/10/62/.292/25

Ryan Madson finally took over for Brad Lidge.  This was only about three months in the making and after six separate endorsements by Manuel saying Lidge is their closer.  Ah fanabla, what a headache.  Ever since Brett Myers returned from his MMA training, fantasy baseballers (that’s you!) seem ready to put Myers in the closer role.  That would be too easy, right?  Right.  No, Madson’s the first guy to grab and maybe Myers sees time here and there.  I’d grab both of them, unless you have a bleeding ulcer, then I’d stay away.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Scott Feldman – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 Ks and leads the AL with 16 wins.  Shoot me now.  Seriously.  Shoot me and Randy Wolf while you’re at it.

Marlon Byrd – 9 for his last 14 with 2 homers and 7 RBIs.  He was having problems with kidney stones prior to this outburst, by I guess that problem passed.  (Pun point for Grey.)  Oh, and he’s single-handedly winning H2H leagues.

Francisco Liriano – Activated from the Disgraceful List and sent to the bullpen.  He still has no value.

Jake Peavy – Supposedly, he should be ready to go against the Mariners next week.  Was this whole elbow thing a ploy to face an NL-type offense?  BTW, the White Sox pulled the plug on this season already, why are they trying to get Peavy back in there?

John Maine – Will return for this Sunday’s game vs. the Phils.  He’ll be limited to around 70 pitches which will, uh, limit his value.

Ian Kinsler/Chris Davis/Nelson Cruz -  Because we all love a nice bit of schadenfreude, I present to you, frequent commenter, Zombie, “For those who revel in others’ misfortune, I present a Trifecta Ticker Tease as the Rangers wallop the Tribe today 10-0.  Those of us who own Kinsler, Davis, AND Cruz have returned from lunch, eagerly check the boxscore and see a combined 2 for 14,  0 RBI, 0 HR, 0 SB, and one goddamn Run…. The lone run only seems to punctuate the dearth of any additional production!  And for all you Esteban German owners out there, you deserve his 5 for 5 day, you bastards.”

Felipe Lopez – HR yesterday.  Now on pace for 10 homers and 7 steals.  Somewhere, Crapolanco smiles.

Bobby Scales – Ran head first into a wall, went down for a minute or two, then played a few more innings before being lifted for Sam Fuld.  Fuld, indeed.

Huston Street – Unable to return until early next week, according to Rockies pitching coach, Bob Apodaca.  I love that name.

Justin Maxwell – 3-for-5, 1 steal.  Could have some cheap speed for deep leagues, but he misses being a legitimate major leaguer by that much.

Carl Pavano – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER.  Now has 4 starts in a row where he’s been completely digestible.  He gets the Indians next.

Rafael Soriano – 1/3 IP, 2 ER as he blew the save.  Member when his ERA was around 1.50, like, a month and a half ago?  Yeah, me too.  Now it’s near 3.

Wandy Rodriguez – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks.  And it rolls on.

Carlos Delgado/Jose Reyes – Both said they want to return in the last two weeks of the season.  The Mets will just need to win 25 of their remaining 12 games to clinch a playoff berth.

Randy Wolf – Had his start scratched with a tweaked elbow.  Sounds like an excuse to rest him as they head towards the playoffs.  Kuroda will take his start.

James Loney – HR yesterday.  Now has two in three games, while batting near .400 for the last week.

Scott Podsednik – 4-for-7 with a steal.  He’s been a top 30 outfielder this year and the most valuable White Sox hitter this year.  Cust kayin’.

Carlos Gonzalez – 1-for-5 with a steal.  Now has 11 homers and 12 steals in 211 at-bats.  Prepare for an offseason barrage of fantasy baseball ‘perts telling you you have to own him next year and causing his value to skyrocket.

Jose Lopez – 3-for-4, HR yesterday.  Now has 3 homers in 5 games while batting near .500.

Krispie Young – Hit another homer yesterday.  Now has five in 4 games.  I’m sure we’ll see him again in Friday’s Buy/Sell.

Adam Wainwright – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 Ks with his 18th win.  He wins the Cy Young, right?  Not rhetorical.  Seriously, he does, right?

Matt Holliday – Left the game with a bruised knee.  He said he should be good by the Cards next game as long as he never has to play in Oakland again.

Albert Pujols – 2 HRs yesterday.  After the 2nd homer, Pujols’s BFF Lugo jumped around like Pujols called the shot beforehand in the dugout.  So this got me thinking, and maybe I’m just devious, but if you were a random baseball player in the playoffs, let’s say Casey Blake, wouldn’t you have your teammate pretend you called a homer?  Beforehand, Casey Blake and Orlando Hudson make a deal.  If Blake hits a homer, Hudson will jump around in the dugout screaming, “He called it!”  Like Fox Sports wouldn’t run with this story and suddenly Casey Blake would be the star of the World Series, get endorsements — Hi, I’m Casey Blake, this is a Sprint phone and I called it. — and he would get a huge contract.  Casey Blake would be synonymous with clutch.  Oh my God, I’m Scott Boras.

Nyjer Morgan was back in the lineup to steal two bases in the first inning, then he left with a broken hand.  Bunt, go feet first and get back in there!  One of my ‘pert teams was pulling too far away in power, so last week I made a trade for steals and saves.  Two categories I usually just play the waiver wire for, but in a 16 team league, it’s slim pickins.  I traded Prince Fielder for Heath Bell and Nyjer Morgan.  Stab me in my eye!  Shove hot coals in my pants!  Hot poker my heart!  I still won’t miss Prince, but Nyjer’s broken hand… Well, I’d like to write on Nyjer’s cast, “Amputate,” as you should be doing with him on your teams.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Tim Hudson – He’ll be returning on Monday to face the Marlins.  The good news, he gets a decent 2 start week next week.  The bad news, he wasn’t exactly lights out in rehab.  The moderate news, he’s worth a flier in 12 team leagues where you need an extra starter.  Just don’t expect him to be anything more than 5 IP, 3 ER.

Ian Kinsler – 2 HRs.  Post-All-Star Break, he’s batting .222 with 8 homers and 6 steals.  It’s going to be hard to justify a 2nd round pick next year for Kinsler with his propensity for bescumbering your fantasy baseball team in the second half of the season.

Chris Davis - HR yesterday.  IDK. W00t? Or BFD U POS?  The preceding was brought to you by your 14-year-old nephew’s texting.

A.J. Burnett – 6 IP, 3 ER, 12 Ks.  12 Ks courtesy of the league’s worst (best?) team for Ks, the Rangers.  After struggling for a few years with injuries, Burnett’s putting together another 30 start season (barring my jinxing right here).  Looking like a solid bet for 175 Ks and a 4.00 ERA next year.  That’s nothing to sneeze at, unless you’re allergic to that sorta thing.

Anibal Sanchez – 3 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 11 baserunners vs. the Mets.  I tried to push people away from Anibal because of his wont to tie his owners to the WHIPping post.

Chris Coghlan – 3-for-4, 2 HRs yesterday.  I can already see people drafting him next year in mixed leagues and then mid-April being bored with him.  It’s the trouble with 12/12 outfielders.  They look okay on draft day, but when they average 2 homers and 2 steals a month they get real yawnstipating.

Dave Bush – 4 2/3 IP, 5 ER.  Bush has a machine head.  But it’s not better than the rest.

Randy Wells – 6 1/3 IP, 5 ER, 9 baserunners.  To make matters worse, the Cubs should start watching his innings.

Carlos Gonzalez – Was in the lineup, but it was too soon back in the yard and he hurt his knife wound.

Adam LaRoche – HR yesterday.  8 homers and batting .385 in August.  Must be after the All-Star Break.

Andy Marte – HR yesterday.  Deep league alert!  Has an eight game hitting streak with two homers and batting over .400.

Andrew McCutchen – HR yesterday.  Now has 9 homers and 15 steals.  Unbelievably, I’m starting to get excited about a Pirate for next year.  Not just any Pirate, but The Dread Pirate.

Garrett Jones – Robot Jones has not only continued to be productive (though admittedly less so than when he was first called up).  He hit his 15th homer yesterday and also has 8 steals.  For under 200 at-bats, that’s tremendous.  I have my doubts about him doing it over a full season.

Junichi Tazawa – 4 IP, 9 ER.  This is the reason I tried to steer people away from Tazawa.  I mean, he has a near 7 ERA on the year and 8 walks to 12 Ks.  Honestly, if it was for the Sons of Sam Horn hype machine, we wouldn’t even be talking about him.  Next year, we’ll reevaluate.

Alex Gonzalez – Has now hit homers in back-to-back games.  He’s a terrible hitter.  Make no mistake.  But hitters hit them in bunches, so he might have some short term value for MI pop.

Jacoby Ellsbury – Left the game with an ankle sprain.  He’s day-to-a-few-days.

Brandon Allen – Hit his first major league homer yesterday.  He’ll be discussed more in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell.  You can’t wait.  No, you can’t!

Matt Holliday – HR yesterday.  If he stays in the NL, it’ll be interesting to see if everyone drafts him next year like the first half of the year was a blip on the radar because of his Oakcation.  The only problem with that, he still only hit 25 homers his last full year in Coors.  Then again, maybe the Mets will get him, then no one will think his power will boon.

Albert Pujols – It’s almost like he owns himself in fantasy baseball.  He goes 0-for-2, but steals a base just to add some value.  This actually wouldn’t be a bad idea.  Part of everyone’s salary goes into a fantasy baseball pool.  The only caveat is they must draft themselves.  Hmm… But maybe that’s gambling.  Nevertheless, I love Pujols.  Well, that sounded wrong.

The Tigers added Aubrey Huff to complement Jim Leyland’s puff.  When the Detroit Free Press hit the streets to find out what Tigers fans thought of this trade, they were met by mixed reactions.  Some fans asked for change, others shot at them. Huff should be added to the 1st base/DH mix with Carlos Guillen heading out to left field.  Huff’s value could go up a bit, but he needs to hit for him to have any value.  Best case scenario, he gets 8 homers over the next month and hits .330. Remember, that’s best, not realistic.  Marcus Thames’s value is hurt the most with the trade, but Thames is an estuary so he knows the importance of trading.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Nate McLouth – Was nursing a hamstring injury, then he started Saturday and aggravated it.  So now he heads to the DL for two weeks.  Terrific.  I’m so glad I own this schmohawk.  Can’t ya tell?  Aren’t I oozing with McLove?  He’s been a total waste for about two months now, but at least he was leading off and getting some Runs.  Now the only runs he’ll be getting are from Mexican food.  I officially hate McLousy.

Mark Reynolds – HR yesterday as he tied Pujols for the major league lead in homers for a millisecond until Pujols took the lead back.  Do people dare to draft Reynolds before David Wright next year?  I wouldn’t, but I’m beginning to think some will.

Max Scherzer – 5 IP, 9 runs, but only 3 were earned.  Ticker shock!

Tommy Hanson – 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 Ks.  I mentioned Hanson yesterday in the rookie pitchers who might get shutdown thingamaboob.

Vladimir Guerrero – 2 HRs yesterday with 5 RBIs.  A fifth of his homers in one game.  Guess that stops his owners from taking a fifth of anything.

Ervin Santana – 6 IP, 3 ER, 5 Ks.  As I said after his last start (I think it was last start, I write a lot of these), I like Ervin to a certain respect now.  He’s probably owned in your league because of his name, but if he’s not, he should be.

Nick Markakis – I am Sparkakis!

Joe Martinez – 5 IP, 1 ER.  Start everyone against the Mets!!!  Three exclamation marks for emphasis.

Justin Morneau – Left the game with dizziness.  No word on whether he’ll need a trip to the Dizzabled List.

Francisco Liriano – 2 IP, 7 ER.  Member that corner he turned last week?  Yeah, he turned the other corner and kicked your dog.

Tommy Hunter – 5 2/3 IP, 4 ER.  Much closer to the kind of games I expect to see from Tommy Hunter.  Still wouldn’t own him.  Maybe next year.  Later, Tommy Hunter, if that’s your real name.

Rajai Davis – You can call him Ray.  You could call him Jai.  You could him RJ.  Just say natural.  Either way, he just stole another base.  SAGNOF!

Kevin Correia – 6 IP, 0 ER and a No Decision.  I love me my HodgePadres, but this might be why I’m struggling for Wins in every league.

Ted Lilly – 6 IP, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks vs. Padres.  Was a gimme first start back, but that’s all right, they still count.

Matt Holliday – Fouled a ball off his toe in the ninth inning.  Still ran hard to first on the next swing, but then left the game.  I’m gonna guess they’re going to call this day-to-day.  (BTW, isn’t it weird how week-to-week is worse than day-to-day, but minute-to-minute is worse too?)

Stephen Strasburg – Signed with the Nats for over $15 million.  I’d pay him in pennies.  No rolls either.  Make that Viennese putz roll them himself.  I don’t think we see Strasburg this year and if we do, he’s not going to give you much of anything in one year leagues.

Ryan Doumit – 0-for-5, batting .222 on the year.  I’m all for the Ron Popeil, “Set It and Forget It” method of dealing with catchers, but Doumit’s been awful.

Garrett Jones – 2-for-4 with a HR yesterday.  We all want something beautiful.  Man, I wish Garrett Jones was beautiful, but he’s still batting .226 vs lefties.

Lastings Milledge – 2-for-4, and a steal.  I think he stole second base off the Pirates reliever, Jesus Colome, simply to clarify what he meant in his Karaoke Revolution-aided, Cristal-fueled song, “Going To Second On Jesus Colome.”

George Sherrill was traded from the Orioles to the Dodgers.  Sherrill will backup Broxton.  If you play in a league with Holds, by all means.  If you don’t, you can lose him.  Okay, that’s that.  Now for the interesting part, who closes for the Orioles?  Personally, I think it’s going to be Jim Johnson.  I said him in last week’s Buy/Sell and he’s the same name I’m saying now.  Johnson’s been owning the 8th inning setup duties for a while now, though he’s also given up runs in 3 of his last 4 appearances.  So who else could it be?  Could it be Baez?  The answer my friend is blowing in the wind… Danys Baez was a donkey-corn back in 2005 for the Rays, collecting 41 Saves and posting a 2.86 ERA.  So he’s capable, but the Orioles seem likely to give Johnson the first shot.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brandon Webb – Suffered a setback. Backdate this news to the day after opening day.  Set him free, if it’s meant to be… Well, you know that line that your sister used to tell herself when a guy broke up with her.

Orlando Cabrera – Sounds like the Twins are going to end up with Cabrera.  This does little to his value.  Maybe a handful more Runs.  And that may be the only time you hear a handful of runs being a positive.

Alexei Ramirez – Sprained ankle and will miss a few games.  Hopefully this doesn’t turn out the same way Carloses Quentin/Beltran missed a few games.

Yunel Escobar – After being hit by a pitch, he’s day-to-day with a wrist contusion.  (I just made up the contusion part, but I sounded smart, right?  Don’t worry, I didn’t make up the day-to-day part.)

Ian Kinsler – Out two games now with a hammy problem.  You know who else had a hammy problem?  Kermit the Frog!  Oofa!  (Kinsler will be covered more in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell.)

Trevor Crowe – Was called up to replace Ben Francisco.  Someone gots the hate for Matt LaPorta.  Don’t ask me, I just report it.  Does it make sense?  Nope, not a whole lot.

Roy Oswalt – Astros are optimistic that Oswalt can make his Sunday start.  Guys who ride tractors in the offseason don’t miss starts with a tweaked back.  He reminds me of Shawn Michaels.  Keep bashing his back with a metal chair, but he’s still going to drop the big ‘bow.

John Grabow – Traded to the Cubs.  Grabow can stop salivating, he’s now a LOOGY.

Jason Hammel – 1 1/3 IP, 5 ER in Metco.  Hmm… He’s supposed to be good away from Coors.

Jorge de la Rosa – 6 1/3 IP, 2 ER.  Now that’s a Rockie pitcher away from home.

Clint Barmes – Hit his 14th homer yesterday.  Right now, you might be thinking to yourself.  Clint Barmes has 14 homers?  Yup, and he also has 9 steals.  Stephen Drew has 7 homers and 3 steals.  Jose Lopez has 13 homers and 2 steals.  Asdrubal 3 homers, 11 steals.  Barmes has been in a terrible funk lately, yet, on the season, he’s still been wildly more valuable than Uggla and about on par with Rollins.  Go figure.

Luke Hochevar – 6 IP, 7 ER.  Do you see what he does to you when you trust him?  Just give him a rest for this year.  I promise to remind you what a great prospect he is during next year’s preseason.

Aubrey Huff - 2-for-4, 3 RBIs.  Okay, so my Buy on him was maybe a month early, but hopefully this is the start of something.  God knows he can’t un-start any more than he has.

Johnny Cueto – 5 IP, 6 ER.  Since I made him a Sell on June 26th, he has a 7.61 ERA.

Tim Stauffer – 7 IP, 1 ER.  I’d still only start him at home, but nothing comes closer to home than a terrible Reds team.

Ryan Zimmerman – Is there no in-between button on this guy?  After being ice cold for two months, he’s now on fire with 4 homers in the last seven games.

Ben Francisco – Slight value while Victorino’s nursing his knee.  Okay, guess the fantasy baseball ‘pert, “I’d like to nurse from Megan Fox’s knee! Yowsers!”  A:  Matthew Berry

Rafael Soriano – 1 IP, 0 ER, 3 Ks.  Phew.  That’s good to see.  Hopefully, he held his breath and the hiccups are behind him.

Derrek Holland – 8 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 10 Ks.  Every time I try to get out of rookie pitchers, another one pulls me in.  I’m a big fan of Holland and he gets Oakland next.

Michael Young – 2 HRs and has 16 on the year while batting .326.  Great year that I didn’t see coming, but he hasn’t done this in 4 years, so no one really saw it coming.

Gavin Floyd – 7 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 10 Ks vs. the Yankees.  Let me guess, home start?  He has an under 3 ERA at home.  Imagine he was a Padre.  Zoinks!

Eugenio Velez – 3-for-5, Maybe feeling the heat from the Dirty Sanchez (who did not play yesterday), but Velez is scorching hot lately.

Matt Holliday – Homered for his new team. See, it’s all working out exactly how– Oh, the Cards lost.

Matt Thornton – Got the save opportunity, but again he was brought in in the 8th inning so again Ozzie can say technically he hasn’t removed Jenks from the closer role.  The bad news (or good news depending on who you own), Thornton blew the save.  Which might also confirm Ozzie’s noncommittal commitment to Jenks.

David Ortiz – I’ve pretty much kept to myself on the whole steroids issue.  Ya know, this is fantasy baseball, who gives an effin’ eff in the screwhole what I think, but Ortiz annoyed me.  He was one of the biggest critics of A-Rod when Rodriguez admitted to having his uncle’s cousin stick needles in his butt.  Ortiz also was “shocked” and “confused” about Manny’s use.  I’m shocked and confused how anyone thought Ortiz hadn’t used steroids.  Let’s assume everyone did steroids.  Even Greg Maddux.  Who cares?  Everyone did them.  Doesn’t matter.  Move on.  But what’s annoying is the talking out of both sides of his mouth.  To bastardize Madonna, Big Papi don’t preach.  I hope Manny says something like this, “Ya’ll knew I was doing some grimy shizz, but I’m shocked and confused to hear Ortiz’s giant melonhead is artificially enhanced.  Oh, and Ortiz is 52 years old.  Cust kayin’.”