Wouldn’t say this is crunch time as much as this is “Your nuts are in a cracker and the season’s closing in and squeezing tight so you better just throw any pitchers that are available because you need stats — stat!” time. The line for last week was 80 IP, 4.05 ERA, 1.44 WHIP, 50 Ks and 3 wins. Not a great line, but if you throw out Lannan and Francis because you had better sense than me and didn’t start them. The line comes down to 3.42 ERA and 1.37 WHIP. To recap, these aren’t guys I’d drop anyone worthwhile to get, these starters are meant for streaming purposes and all of their ownership in ESPN is under 50%. These streamers are in no particular order. Also, in the final month of the season, managers juggle their lineups more, so there’s no guarantee all of these guys are listed on the right day. Anyway, here’s some borderline starters for this week in fantasy baseball:
Friday, September 16th
Philip Humber – It’s really slim pickins on Friday for under 50% owned starters. I’m not a huge fan of Humber but compared to some of the other schmohawks, well, here he is.
Jeff Locke – On Friday, Locke goes against the Smoke Monster in chess and the Dodgers’ weak offense.
Saturday, September 17th
Jeanmar Gomez – Gets the Twins, has only given up 3 earned in the last 17 and a third innings and when you say his first name it causes phlegm.
Rick Porcello – Don’t trust Porcello at all but he goes to a -co stadium and faces the A’s.
Chris Volstad – In his last three starts, 17 1/3 IP and 3.12 ERA. Here he takes on the Nats and Strasburg’s three to five innings of work.
Sunday, September 18th
Joe Saunders – In 22 innings vs. the Padres, he has a 2.05 ERA and a .190 BAA. Kill me now for recommending Saunders.
Matt Harrison – 1.84 ERA vs. the Mariners, though I’m not sure there’s any pitchers with a 2+ ERA vs. the M’s. Maybe Liriano or Danks. Schmohawks.
Brad Lincoln – Gave a pretty yawnstipating start last time out, but here I am going back to the well like Baby Jessica.
Monday, September 19th
David Huff – I never said the names on this list were gonna be pretty. There’s only a few teams I could see starting Huff against: the Mariners and the Mariners minor league affiliates.
Mike Minor – He just dismantled the Marlins (with a four walk performance in 5 2/3 innings — technicalities!).
Tuesday, September 20th
Jason Vargas – Choices aren’t Grade A when I’m taking on a Mariners starter, but it was between him and To Be Announced. And I don’t like To Be Announced’s matchup.
Edwin Jackson – Highest compliment I can give any guys on this list is when I think one should be owned in more than 50% of leagues. Jackson’s one of those guys.
Derek Holland – Last three starts (when this was written), 1.77 ERA and 21 Ks in 20 1/3 IP.
Wednesday, September 21st
Dana Eveland – He/she gets the Giants in Chavez Ravine. Giants have a .236 average vs. lefties, which is only slightly worse than what they’re batting against righties. As for the lack of other options today, they were kinda Plouffey. I almost put down Brett Cecil, but he’s all over the map and not in the good traveling circus kind of way.
Let’s change the way we eat, let’s change the way we live and let’s change the Twins closer. Joe Nathan is now the closer with two saves this weekend. As I kinda said last week, Matt Capps was pitching so bad, he picked up Joe Nathan in his fantasy league. And that’s me paraphrasing me! Since Joe Nathan and Ron Gardenhire met on match.com many years ago, their relationship has blossomed from heated affair to full blown love. They’re even Facebook official. Assuming Nathan doesn’t cough up five leads in the matter of a week, he should have the closer job for the rest of the season. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Scott Baker – Placed on the DL with a muscle strain in his elbow, but is only supposed to miss one more start. Mr. Baker also sounds like a Clue character. Speaking of which, Clue has been updated, which makes me feel old. There’s no more conservatory or lead pipe. Now it’s shizz like, “Colonel Mustard in the spa with the trophy.” I guess a lead pipe was too scary sounding. So murdering someone with a common object like a trophy isn’t scary? Also, Colonel Mustard in a spa? He’s a decorated officer! Clue, that’s a fail with a hashtag.
Ryan Braun – Has no get up and go because he had da calf on ice. Could be back on Monday.
John Axford – K-Rod waived his option so the Brewers could use him in any capacity, which is north of tenacity. So the Brewers chose to use K-Rod to setup Axford this weekend. “I beat up my father-in-law over much less.” Right now, you have to hold both K-Rod and Axford, but it looks like Axford is the first choice.
Jose Reyes – Supposed to return on Tuesday. I’ll believe it when I see it. “Grey, you have no faith in medicine.” That’s Jack White reading Razzball.
Jason Isringhausen – The Mets said it would be a closer by committee. Is anything done better by committee besides jerk seasoning, which is flavor by committee? Mets also said Isringhausen would get first crack, but I still believe that’s to raise his trade value.
Blake Beavan – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks. Has a pretty hideous K-rate, i.e., Blake not so lively. Also, Bedard’s either going to take his rotation spot or he’s going to pitch in Fenway next.
Mike Carp – Was recalled on Sunday. No relation to Mike Trout. Carp hit 21 homers in 65 games in the PCL, which is like hitting with an aluminum bat on the moon. He also doesn’t have guaranteed playing time. Obviously he’s worth a flyer right now in AL-Only leagues.
Matt Harrison – 7 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks. Harrison now has an ERA of 2.91, my sweet lord. I wouldn’t pick him up because of his walks and lack of Ks, but he proves the theory that the best spot starter is the pitcher facing the Mariners in Safeco (followed closely by the Padres in Petco).
Shaun Marcum – 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks and the win in Coors. Kind of start I really don’t mind being sonavabenched on. Marcum also left with a stiff neck, but he just got a Viagra stuck in his throat and should be fine for his next start.
Kyle Kendrick – 7 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 0 Ks. I wouldn’t pick him up with your team.
Ryan Madson – 2/3 IP, 1 ER. Madson always seems to struggle when it’s being reported that he could lose his job in the near future. Stop watching Lifetime movies in the bullpen and cowboy up!
Chase Utley – 0-for-4 with his 9th steal, but only has 4 homers on the year. To fix his knee, did the doctors attach his arms to hips and put his legs on his shoulders?
Josh Beckett – 8 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 0 walks and 6 Ks vs. Jeff Niemann (8 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, 2 walks, 10 Ks). Lower the mound! Beckett’s obviously an ace this year. As for Neimann, I don’t trust him because of his usually pedestrian K-rate, but this was obviously a great start against a tough team, which followed his great start vs. the Yankees. He gets the Royals and A’s next.
Alex Presley – 3-for-6, 3 RBIs and his 4th steal. Jose Tabata who?! Um, the guy that’s going to return and take Presley’s spot. Yeah, I’m not sure how this is gonna shake out yet, but that doesn’t mean you can’t grab Presley in the mean’s while.
Brett Gardner – 3-for-4, 3 runs and 2 steals. Since May 1st, he’s hitting .318 with 22 steals. Cust kayin’.
Phil Hughes – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks. Hasn’t gone more than 90 pitches in any start this year. Cashman must be fine-tuning Joba Rules. Guess it’s better than Pavano Rules, which was hit Pavano over the head with a blunt object and bury him in the Pine Barrens.
Travis Snider – 2-for-4 and a steal. Hitting over .400 in the last week with three steals in the last 4 games. Russell Martin says, “You’re welcome.”
Zack Cozart – 2-for-4, hitting .400 since his call up and yesterday he homered. See, the Reds didn’t even need to go to the free clinic to rid themselves of their bad case of the Renteria’s.
Homer Bailey – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks and Bailey didn’t get hurt. It’s an early Christmas miracle!
Felipe Paulino – 7 Ip, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 8 Ks. That’s eight baserunners and eight Ks, not infinity. Though it may as well be for Paulino.
Grady Sizemore – Day-to-day with a knee contusion. His career trajectory is the exact opposite of everyone else who has ever taken nude photos of themselves.
Matt Wieters – 2-for-4 with a homer off Frank Herrmann. When I saw Herrmann’s last name, it made me think of one of those spray painted, graffiti shirts you and your significant other got when you were fifteen. I wonder if his wife has an Indians jersey with the last name, Hisgirl.
Nick Punto – His elbow is forcing him out for the year. Sounds like his elbow probably owns Punto in fantasy.
Chase Headley – Might need an MRI on Monday for his calf. BTW, what do you call Padre hitters that you only own in deep leagues? Deep Friars.
Danny Espinosa – 3-for-5 with his 17th homer and just missed his 18th. Anyone that has doubts about him hasn’t seen him swing the bat. On a side note, Davey Johnson came out to argue the just miss was a home run and he looks like one of those computer-aged photos of what JFK would look like now. One small step for the Nats, I suppose.
Tom Gorzelanny – Variety reported he was ankled from his start.
Jair Jurrjens – 5 IP, 6 ER as the Fangraphs Database laughed maniacally.
Mike Stanton – Hit two home runs on Saturday to bring his season total to 20. I say he hits 40+ homers next year, assuming the Mayans are wrong and there is a next year. “Why are we buying a new calender?” That’s a young Mayan talking to his elder in December.
Emilio Bonifacio – 2-for-4, 2 runs. Emily Boneface has the highest OBP for a leadoff hitter, has stolen 6 bases in the last week, has a 16-game hitting streak and calculated pi to 2.7 trillion decimal places.
Hanley Ramirez – 2-for-4 with a satisfying slam & legs. Hitting .383 in July with 4 homers and 2 steals. Jack McKeon just knows how to talk to the kids!
Javier Vazquez – 7 IP, 3 ER, 4 baserunners (no walks), 10 Ks. That’s as impressive as I’ve seen Vazquez this year. If he’s available in any leagues, I’d get on board for his next start vs. the Padres.
Vladimir Guerrero – To the DL with a small fracture in his hand after being hit by a pitch. Orioles knew there was something wrong when Vlad saw a pitch and didn’t swing the bat.
David Aardsma – Went for Tommy John surgery. In related news, Tommy John is collecting nickels for all the times he’s mentioned. “Who needs the Hall of Fame? I got nickels, snitches!”
Peter Bourjos – To the DL, but Trout looks pretty overmatched so far. Might want to look elsewhere. In keepers, you obviously ignore early results.
Jeff Keppinger – 3-for-5 and Blanco Polanco now has homers in back-to-back games. He’s like jarred salsa; he’s not very hot, but he’ll still give you indigestion.
Matt Downs – Out while his wife, Leah, has a child. Yes, her name is Leah Downs. I’d say!
Gio Gonzalez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks. He’s always brilliant at home. BTW, realizing that every good pitching park ends in co — Petco, Safeco, Metco — Oakland’s stadium now goes by O.co, which I’m not even sure how to pronounce. How about, “What the eff.co?” Senior exec, “Corporate’s coming down hard on us to rebrand ourselves.” Junior exec, “How about a name that no one can pronounce?” Senior exec, “I’m gonna tell our boss that just so you’re fired, Stevens!” Later that day, Boss, “A name we can’t pronounce? That’s crazy enough to work!”
It’s a confusing week for me to grasp. Some formats are a short week, others role on until literally the middle (or end) of next week. So first things first, I will tackle the short 4 game week and give you some unbridled gems of the streaming variety. Stay tuned on Saturday for the following week’s two start thinga-ma-bobbers. If this is a short week for you, it’s prolly best to grab as many of these guys as possible, longer week not so much as you may want to call Laurel and tell him to take a breather. So enjoy the short week or long and I will give you an update later this week for week 15 ½ or 16. (Please keep in mind that pitchers and matchups change.)
7/14 Bruce Chen @ Min (Liriano) – 2.50 ERA since DL stint return. Is the definition of a streaky low end good/bad pitcher.
Jason Vargas vs. Tex (Holland) – Basically needs to go the distance to have a chance at a win. 1.70 ERA in last 4 starts.
Aaron Harang vs. SF (Bumgarner) – The primate in the zoo, Hodgepadre indeed.
7/15 Andrew Miller @ TB (Price) – 4 starts, 3 wins plays for the best lineup in baseball. That is all.
Doug Fister vs. Tex (Lewis) – Gets zero run support. I really feel bad for him because if you haven’t seen him pitch, he is very unheralded and unrewarded.
Jeff Karstens @ Hou (Myers) – Is he awesome, no. Effective lately yes. Regression will ensue.
Josh Tomlin @ Bal (Arrieta) – Sneaky 10 win pitcher, other numbers say he is pitching exactly the way he should be.
Vance Worley @ NYM (Dickey) – Awesome since mid-June. If he isn’t owned, your league is dull.
7/16 Paul Maholm @ Hou (Norris) – 4-2 with a 1.75 ERA in last 7 starts. For the soon to be first place Pirates.
Barry Zito @ SD (Luebke) – 3 wins, tiny ERA since DL return.
Edwin Jackson @ Det (Scherzer) – Huh, yeah I wanted to highlight that this will be his last start in Chi-town. That’s me predicting me!
Carlos Zambrano vs. Fla (Vazquez) – Fresh from the DL, seems like a trend for this post. Pitches just effectively enough to be added/dropped about 10 times a year. Ah, but look closer, he has RP elig, sneaky play for a Saturday.
7/17 Chris Volstad @CHC (Wells) – Stop trying to strike everyone out, you’re a groundball pitcher.
Matt Harrison @ Sea (Beavan) – Seattle O is good twice a week. Coincidentally, that’s how much my garbage is picked up.
Brian Duensing vs. KC (Paulino) – Sneaky good lately, here for the added eligibility.
Kevin Correia @ Hou (Rodriquez) – Is money on the road.
Last month we went over some pitchers that were getting lucky. You remember back a month ago, right? You were 15 pounds lighter and still had a few hairs to brush over your head. The pitchers that I said would regress last month were Moseley, Ogando, Tomlin, Britton, Correia, Masterson, Gorzelanny, Guthrie, Wolf and Cahill. Their combined ERA in the last month was 4.51. I.e. Not good. To refresh what the FIP I’m talking about. xFIP — stands for Expected Fielding Independent Pitching. It’s basically ERA without those pesky fielders helping or hurting you. It’s a pure ERA. It’s like when you go to the Supercuts and then you don’t want to shower for like 2 weeks because you’ll never get your hair styled again like Jeffrey does it. It’s your hair right after Jeffrey styles it and before you wash it. That’s xFIP. Okay, so let’s take a Exhibit A pitcher, who has an ERA of 2.75, but his xFIP is a 6.75. A -4.00 difference. That means he’s been very lucky and there’s a good chance his ERA is going to go way up. So here’s a list of pitchers with the biggest difference between their actual ERAs and their xFIPs for the first two months or so of the fantasy baseball season. (If your guy’s on the list, it’s not a great sign.)
Josh Beckett – 1.69. I’d love to see Red State Jeter’s regression to his 3.75 xFIP. Biggest reason, cause I don’t own him anywhere. 2nd biggest reason, because he’s helping other teams win. 3rd reason, the first two were already the same, don’t make me come up with a third.
Jair Jurrjens – 1.67. Jar-Jar, any time you wanna cooperate and not be as good as you’ve been, it would be appreciated. Meesa tanks you in advance.
Alexi Ogando – 1.58. I’d feel differently about this post if I owned a few of these guys. Maybe I should ignore LOB%, BABIP, K-rate and xFIP and just ride the hot hand…Then as soon as I pick them up they’ll get shelled.
Jeremy Hellickson – 1.39. He’s kept his BABIP fairly low in the past, but it’s even below that right now. His K-rate is also very low for him (and his ERA which makes me want to kick myself in the head).
Gio Gonzalez – 1.26. There’s a lot of names on this list that I don’t own. Gio’s one I have. Sad emoticon. Right now, I’m only starting him at home because I don’t trust him. He seems to be losing control like Meatloaf working with Gary Busey.
Jered Weaver – 1.14. I wouldn’t panic too much with this one. Weaver’s not a 2.24 ERA pitcher, but he’s not his brother either.
Philip Humber – 1.04. C’mon, a less than 5.50 K-rate? That is the new blech.
Matt Harrison – 1.03. Here comes the runs, and I say… I almost left Harrison off because who’s trusting him? Maybe some people who only see the 3.31 ERA. These are people that probably aren’t reading this site…Never the hoo!
Kyle Lohse – 1.00. Another guy that falls into the Harrison category; you should know he’s not around a mid-2 ERA pitcher. If you don’t, shame on you. But you can put the blame on me…Said you can put the blame on me…
Can we stop talking about how running into the catcher is “not” part of baseball? It’s getting really old and stupidity is bleeding from every multimedia channel. If Matt Treanor, or Misty May for that matter, got run over and injured this would be a blip on the radar for baseball. All I can say is I can’t wait until the Marlins and Giants play again and settle their differences with a good ol’ donnybrook. Baseball settles its differences between the lines, and all this talk about how one of the prodigal sons of baseball got hurt is a snooze fest. I am old school when watching this game. If you don’t want to get hit, don’t stand on the tracks when the train is coming through. Okay, rant over. There seems to be lots of speculation going on in the game right now. Who will be buyers and who will be sellers. This has some rippling effects on fantasy as guys switch leagues and make AL/NL only leagues scramble for FAAB bucks. Should be a fun next month of real baseball and hope that it relates well to fake baseball. Good luck on this week’s fantasy endeavors. (Please keep in mind that match-ups and pitchers may change.)
ONE START OPTIONS:
6/8
Danny Duffy vs. TOR – Villanueva
Paul Maholm vs. ARI – Duke
Josh Outman @BAL- Britton
6/9
Josh Collmenter @Pit – Karstens
Jonathon Niese @ Mil – Gallardo
Derek Holland @ Min – Blackburn
6/10
Dillon Gee @ PIT – Morton
Jason Marquis @ SD – Latos
Ryan Vogelsong vs. CIN – Wood
Rick Porcello (@Tex vs. Harrison, Sea vs. Hernandez) Has gotten numbers to look healthier against bad hitting teams, now re-read who he is playing this week. Strugglin’ against LH, but away ERA is a cozy 2.39.
Joel Pineiro (TB vs. Price, KC vs. O’Sullivan) Still gunning for that milestone win. K’s are nonexistent basically. Nothing cures offensive ills better than a good ol’ swig of O’Sullivans.
Freddy Garcia (Bos vs. Lester, Cle vs. Tomlin) Anyone remember Freddy from the old Yankee stadium who used to bang on his pot and have funny limericks on a sign? Yeah, this isn’t him. WHIP is still bad, but lineup chases all evil flying monkeys away.
Mike Leake (CHC vs. Lopez, @SF vs. Sanchez) Not for nothing, but wasn’t he Kelly Leake’s dad in the Bad News Bears? Cincy’s lineup makes him look better. Going to win a lot of 8-6 type ballgames.
Clayton Richard (Col vs. Mortensen, Was vs. Lannan) Low end 2 starts for the front man of the new “Petco Shop Boys.“ ERA at home is far superior. Rinse and repeat for next guy.
Tim Stauffer (Col vs. Jimenez, Was vs. Zimmermann) East end boys and west end girls. Sorry have that song stuck in my head now. Run support is awful. I like Richard’s 2 opposing pitchers better.
Javier Vazquez (Mil vs. Greinke, Ari vs. Kennedy) He is about as good at fantasy as Wilt Chamberlain was at monogamy. K potential is there….somewhere. Look closer it’s wearing a red striped wool hat, oh my bad I lost track of where we were.
Matt Harrison (Det vs. Porcello, @Min vs. Swarzak) Blisters be gone. Was good to start year, then had to change the sheets. Last 4 starts are back on the Matt Foley path. Away ERA at 2.53. Hope the medication he got from Washington isn’t habit forming.
Jon Garland (@Phi vs. Oswalt, @Col vs. Jimenez) Ugh and Yikes. Nice to see ya, Jon. See you in a week when you’re actually semi-rosterable. Bottom of barrel, bars closing, grab any girl situation here.
Felipe Paulino (Tor vs. Morrow, @Ana vs. Santana) My odd ball of the week. I had some preseason love for him in Colorado, fail. Change of scenery has so far has been mmm-ok. If your digging this deep you prolly need a shovel and some lime.
