It’s not easy to give up 11 runs in 4 innings. You have to have the faith of your manager, first of all. Second of all, why does Jon Lester have the faith of his manager? Or anyone, for that matter.Please, blog, may I have some more?
When Sveum told Rafael Dolis that they need him to fill in for Carlos Marmol, he took them way too literally. “So you don’t want me to walk everyone while blowing games? Totally mi mal!” That was Rafael Dolis talking through his translator who speaks Spanglish. “Can we get a translator who speaks English and Spanish…Separately!” That’s Sveum losing his shizz.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Lance without an ACL isn’t NE good. With a torn meniscus, Lance Berkman is only out for six to eight weeks. “Hello, I’m Keith Morrison of Dateline. Today’s story is about an aging vet. A vet that the media began reporting as finished. Done. But where this vet saw the end, his knee saw just a setback. Also, on tonight’s Dateline: Can you get cancer from playing with your cat?” Berkman and I haven’t always seen eye to eye. Last year, he berated me in the comments for not believing in him, then disappeared this year when he wasn’t going well. I hold no ill feelings towards him. That competitive edge that drove him to compete also drove him to comment on our site. Last year, A-Rod missed 6 weeks with a torn meniscus. I’d put him and Berkman around the same level of gimpiness. So Lance B.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Bryce Harper and Mike Trout were called up by their respective clubs this weekend. When Bryce left Syracuse for his first major league game, the grand opening of the “Eye Black Isn’t Just For The Ultimate Warrior And Owls” store turned into a Going Out of Business sale. When Mike Trout left Salt Lake for the Angels, Bobby Abreu’s three year Going Out of Business sale came to an abrupt end. Bobby, “I still have some seven-pitch walks to sell!” With Trout and Harper called up, the minor leagues were closed. There’s no more minor leagues. In his major league debut, Harper looked like all that and a bag of douche. Who over the age of twelve flips their helmet off when they’re running? Wait, is he over the age of twelve? Definitely more auspicious of a debut than Trout’s (or is that inauspicious?). (NSFWUYWAAPPH (Not Safe For Work Unless You Work At A Porn Production House): In case you didn’t see it, Harper roped a double to deep center while someone behind home plate dropped their pants. (Here’s Bryce Harper’s first major league hit in motion.) I can’t wait to go to Cooperstown in 25 years and see Bryce Harper’s 1st major league hit. The curator showing a group of middle school kids, “Here’s the film of Babe Ruth calling his shot and here’s Bryce Harper with a booty call.” In 50 years, Bryce Harper showing his granddaughter, “There’s your PawPaw getting his first major league hit.” “PawPaw, are you the one with your ass showing?” “No, sweetheart, that’s how fans celebrated baseball players when I played. A great time to be alive.”) Mike Trout, nor the fans behind him, flashed anything. Whatevs, I like him better for this year.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I hate guys that are injured before the season even starts. I should’ve emphasized that more in the preseason. I should’ve followed my gut on that with Stanton too. At least Stanton can play through the nagging pain (hopefully), on the other hand, Mike Morse is shut down for 6 weeks and he has a history of injuries. (Can you tell I’m still reeling a bit on the Stanton news? It’s like a teenage love…Don’t…Don’t hurt me again…) As for Morse, he was a former roider (RIP, Lyle Alzado, I don’t know football, but I enjoyed your random guest spots on bad 80′s TV shows) and they say that tends to break down a player’s body. It’s all very sad (actually, I’m still thinking about Stanton; don’t worry, I’ll move on by Monday). I don’t think this moves up Bryce Harper’s ETA.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The royal we just went over the top 20 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball. For those that skipped the title, this post is the top 40 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball. If you’re looking for the hitters, it’s under the 2012 fantasy baseball rankings, which is also at the top of the page. Barring unusual circumstances, I usually try to grab two starters from this list of twenty. So I’ll have one starter from the first twenty and two from this, which gives me three. Math’s been berry, berry good to me! Anyway, here’s the top 40 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball:
21.Please, blog, may I have some more?
So, how’s everyone holding up without baseball every day? I don’t know what to do with myself! Yesterday, I wandered into a Starbucks and told the coffeerista about Mike Stanton for 2012. We’ve gone over the final 2011 fantasy baseball rankings for hitters and the top 20 starters. There’s only one of these godforsaken recap posts left before we’re into 2012 fantasy shizz. You’re welcome. Anyway, here’s the top 40 starters for 2011 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
21.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hunter Pence has a patella tendon strain and won’t play until this weekend. Though, more likely, he’s not playing much more in the regular season. Don’t you love H2H leagues? What I don’t understand is how you can fantasy baseball, which is a shizzload more intensive than fantasy football, then leave the end of the season up to luck like it’s fantasy football. I enjoy my one or two H2H leagues, but only because I have ten roto leagues to offset the silly luck factor of H2H. You draft a great team, then your first 5 round picks are sitting out in the finals of H2H? Don’t tell me injuries happen in real baseball playoffs, so this simulates that. Real baseball is played over 162 games, not week to week on who has, say, the most Holds. So I like H2H, but don’t make as if its playoff system makes sense. As for Pence, find someone else to fill in p to the ronto. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Todd Helton – Unlikely to return this season with back issues. It’s probably because when he sits on his bottom, his back can go to the top of its slide. Helton Skelton!Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Giants brought Brandon Belt back up from the minors where he was batting .293 with 3 homers in 12 games in July. Last time he was recalled it was the Giants doing their best fill-a-Buster and Belt was a bench bat. The time before that he was promoted and forgot his game back in Fresno. “A box of sparklers, a Groupon to the Macaroni Grill, Brandon Belt’s game.” That’s someone going through a lost and found in Fresno. So those two negatives led to two (stutterer!) positives. Bochy started Belt at first and he homered. I’d look at Belt in all leagues for his sweet, sweet upside, but don’t drop anyone too good or it could end up smacking you upside your head. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into today’s roundup, wanted to mention that the fantasy football leagues are signing up over at our sister site, and I’m using the word sister like in Oz. You click that linkie-ma-who and it’ll take you there. It’s magic! Anyway II, here’s the roundup:
Jeff Keppinger – Of course, Sabean acquired Keppinger. Rogers Hornsby was unavailable. Keppinger is a defensive upgrade on the usual flat-footed vet Sabean brings over like Burrell, who plays the mannequin defense. Most times the defense alignment means moving guys in and out, right and left. The mannequin defense requires them deciding if they want to play their fielders with their gloves in the air for a fly ball or on the ground because once the ball is hit there is no time for them to move their arms.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It was a big day for one of my favorite mancrushes, Brandon Allen, as he was called up. In Triple-A this year, 18 homers, 7 steals and a .426 OBP. He’s cut from the same cloth as all the donkeys that have come before him. Hopefully, he’s less 2010 Big Donkey, because Adam Dunn looks like he’s still got David Eckstein in a bjorn and letting the little man swing for him. In the majors from Allen, first, expect nothing. That’s always a good way to start. At least that’s what I tell the ladies. If the Diamondbacks give Allen ABs, which I do think they will, he will get 10 to 13 homers and a few steals. That’s the baseline. When you hear the baseline, you nod your head. Or maybe that’s the bassline. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Wily Mo Pena – Designated for assignment. That assignment is to stop sucking.Please, blog, may I have some more?