First off, the Master Standings should be up next week, so it’s time to quit fooling around. You don’t want to be trailing a Yahoo! expert, do you? Secondly, isn’t it frustrating when your top pick struggles early?
According to the Razzball Player Rater, of the 20 players we selected at least once in round 1, only Matt Kemp (Congrats Boesch Hog, Blue Heaven, 7 Js and 2 Jeys, and AZ Kush Mafia for making Matt the first overall selection!) and Roy Halladay have put up 1st round numbers. Justin Verlander (16) and Hanley Ramirez (20) are close enough, but where’s everbody else? Miguel Cabrera (93), Adrian Gonzalez (132), Joey Votto (137), and Albert Pujols (346) are all under-performing badly. How about Ryan Braun (272) and Jose Bautista (292)? Oh, well, it’s early. Don’t panic. They’ll start hitting eventually. And, of course, there are always other players who are outperforming their draft position to keep you competitive. Like Josh Hamilton (2, ADP: 35) and Krispie Young (6, ADP: 95.)
Expert League: As was expected, some of the experts have other leagues they are more worried about, so their teams here are neglected. Worst is Team Emack (Eric Mack), whose only moves came on April 1, when Michael Pineda was placed on the DL and Chipper Jones added. 3 minutes later came his final move, replacing Chipper with Bryce Harper. Currently the team features 8 injured players, including 6 in the starting lineup. Rudy and Grey are following different strategies, as Grey leads the league with 29 moves, while Rudy is giving his drafted players a chance to prove themselves, having added just 3 players. Mastersball Carey (Ryan Carey) is setting the pace with 99 points, followed by Secret Treasure Loaf (Andy Behrens) at 79.5.
Trades: A busy week, with 18 trades consummated. That includes one in the ECFBL where the Silver Bullet Bandits and Copales Charros undid an earlier trade when one of the traded players, Brett Gardner, was injured. Copales Charros also traded Matt Holliday to Uncle Robbies Daffiness Boys for Felix Hernandez. There were some surprising trades for saves. In Ones are GOOD right, NYC Matthole traded Drew Stubbs to Unlucky Llamas for Fernando Rodney. Army of Llamas sent Matt Wieters to Bushwood Varmint Cong for Grant Balfour in the Epic Beardmen Division. Probably the biggest name traded was Roy Halladay, in RCL 22, who was sent by Manitoba Manwhores with Coco Crisp to FWG Herders for James Shields and Mariano Rivera. You can find all the trades in the fantasy baseball forums.
League Leaders
Broth’s Baseball Stars (Fausto or Roberto?) was the top hitting team this week. They hit .360 with 17 home runs and 72 RBI, 50 runs, and 6 steals. Matt Kemp was their 5th best hitter! Ahead of him were Freddie Freeman (.478/14 RBI), Josh Hamilton (.462/11 RBI), Mike Napoli (.440/10 RBI), and Derek Jeter (.407/6 RBI).
Average: .360 (Broth’s Baseball Stars – Fausto or Roberto?)
Runs: 58 (Army Of Llamas – Epic Beardmen Division)
HR: 20 (AZ Kush Mafia – RCL 29)
RBI: 72 (Broth’s Baseball Stars – Fausto or Roberto?)
SB: 17 (Team Everett – Beef SAGNOF!)
CROP DUSTIN (RCL 46) had some top pitching numbers with 5 wins, 6 saves, and an ERA of 1.11 and 0.99 WHIP. Their lineup features Clayton Kershaw (9 K/0.00/0.71), Matt Cain (0.00/0.33), and Brandon Beachy (0.00/0.68).
ERA: 1.05 (Dixie Rebels - Fantasy Master Lotharios)
WHIP: 0.69 (Poorjays – Beef SAGNOF!)
TEAM OF THE WEEK - April 16 – 22
The Fredsies (ECFBL)
83/287 (.289)
45 R/18 HR/44 RBI/3 SB
72.1 IP
70K/8 W/1.62/1.09/11 S
The Fredsies strong pitching won them the weekly honors over some tough competition. They had 8 different pitchers record wins, while 6 added saves. Vance Worley tossed 7 scoreless innings with 11 Ks. Rafael Betancourt and Henry Rodriguez each contributed 3 saves. On the offensive side, Mike Napoli (.440/7 R/5 HR/10 RBI) and Matt Kemp (.381/4 Runs/3 HR/6 RBI) were once again dominant.
I watched Mat Latos yesterday. Now I want an eye transplant with someone that watched Jamie Moyer pitch (not when he was first called up because that eye transplant would have cataracts). I wish I could pinpoint what the problem is with Latos, besides looking terrible. He was hitting 95 MPH on the maybe-a-tad-Reds-friendly radar gun for three straight pitches to Beltran. Unfortunately, he threw all three friggin’ pitches in the exact same spot, so, of course, Beltran turned on one. Then he made the next hitter, Holliday, look terrible with offspeed stuff. Like a bachelorette order form, is there somewhere I can check for him to mix in the junk? Does Mesoraco only have one finger on his pitch-calling hand? Is Latos giving up early runs so Dusty can’t throw him into the 11th inning? How do you even give up 5 earned runs in the first two innings on only 6 baserunners? Is that even mathematically possible with only one two-run homer? Why are you making me wrack my brain? And why are you giving up a two out triples to the opposing pitcher?! Latos gets the Giants next. If he can’t make them look like a team that has only three hitters, and one of which they bench, then Latos is going to my bench for the foreseeable future. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Krispie Young – The MRI revealed a ligament tear and who wins this year’s Biggest Loser. Damn you, MRI, and your spoilers! Krispie’s headed to the 15-day DL and the Diamondbacks say he should be fine after a couple of weeks of rest. With a ligament tear in his shoulder? Sounds like they have a ligament tear in their silver lining. This sounds like something that won’t only sideline Krispie for longer than 15 days but also leave him at less than 100% for the rest of the season until an offseason of rest. It’s pretty terrible news. Rico Suave should see the majority of the time in the outfield while Krispie gets himself right. Parra’s pretty yawnstipating from a fantasy perspective for mixed leagues. In NL-Only leagues, he should get you some counting stats. (Wanna hear something that says so much? I added yawnstipating to my computer dictionary. It’s right there in my virtual dictionary next to dork.)
Justin Upton – Where is thumbkin? Back from the MRI to say Upton needs a few days of rest with a bone bruise on his thumb. He did get into yesterday’s game as a pinch runner. Would be just wonderful if he had to slide head first. Hope Kirk Gibson didn’t slo-mo arm pump that in-game move.
A.J. Pollock – 0-for-3 with a caught stealing. How many players does it take to fill-in Krispie’s roster spot? One Pollock. He has good speed (36 SBs last year in the minors), but it’s not clear how much he’ll actually play. Might just be a bat for a few days until Justin’s thumb stops being Upton no good.
Brett Gardner – To the DL with a strained elbow. Huh? What’s he running on his hands like Encino Man? You don’t need an elbow to bunt and run. Put your elbow in a sling and call it macaroni! This kills my RCL team (well, Krispie’s loss kinda hurt that too), but how is there only one DL spot in the RCLs? What were we thinking? Guys (and 4 girls), talk some sense into me Charlotte sometimes, would cha please?
Hiroki Kuroda – 4 1/3 IP, 6 ER, 10 baserunners, 4 Ks. Starts like these in The House They Built Across The Street From The House Ruth Built is the reason why I told people to not draft him.
Lance Berkman – Puma reaggravated his calf injury and might hit the DL. Coincidentally, my Cougar’s out for a day or two with shingles.
Carlos Beltran – 1-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam & legs. That’s 5 homers and 3 steals. Maybe he’s this year’s old player who comes out of nowhere and has a renaissance year. How do we not have a term for this in the glossary? Please suggest in the comments. Thank you.
Brad Lidge – Davey Johnson revealed that Lidge suffers from vertigo. Still waiting for Davey to choose a closer, or more accurately, to explain The Trouble With Henry.
Ivan Rodriguez – Announced his retirement. Let’s remember the days when his nickname Pudge wasn’t ironic due to the banning of illegal substances that caused him to lose all muscle mass. Pour some andro out for him.
Cliff Lee – 10 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks. I feel like a ten inning game is more rare than a no hitter. (I probably could find out if that was true at the ol’ Google.) Through 10 innings, he threw 102 pitches and 81 of those were strikes. Let’s just say, The Adverb was more than suffixient.
Bartolo Colon – 8 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks. Lincecum who?
Matt Cain – 9 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 4 Ks. Bartolo Colon who?
Brian Wilson – Undergoing Tommy John surgery today. They’re still evaluating whether they hairnet his beard or if they have to shave it. If they shave it, the surgery is due to end on Sunday and the homeless family of Lilliputians will need to be relocated.
Brandon Morrow – 6 IP, 6 ER, 11 baserunners, 2 Ks. Walks really got him in this game…and the hits…and the runs…and the lack of Ks.
Mark Buehrle – 8 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks. Of course he pitched a gem. Why wouldn’t he?! Why would I want this kind of start from Latos?! I must be crazy! Yeah, still a little annoyed at Latos. And another thing, if Latos didn’t seem so detestable of a personality, I might be able to let it go!
Joel Hanrahan – Tweaked his Hanrahammy. Should be good to go by the weekend. In his place…
Juan Cruz – Guess who has more saves than Jordan Walden and Heath Bell combined? I grabbed Cruz in one league, then dropped him when I had to fill in for Gardner. Cruz may not see another save all year. If you’re very desperate, then specloselate. (On a related note, I thought of what we can call a top closer’s set-up man, a side salad.)
Grady Sizemore – Cleared for baseball activities. He’ll probably pull his groin scratching himself. I’m only half-punning.
Juan Francisco – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer in as many games. The Braves are committed to Glass Chipper like Aguilera should be committed for eliminating Jesse Campbell, but Francisco’s a good name to watch in deep leagues in case he can get more playing time.
Jair Jurrjens – 4 IP, 4 ER. Can the editor who recut Star Wars take Jar-Jar out of the Braves rotation too?
Dan Uggla – 1-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs with his first homer. Still wanna sell him for Skip Schumaker and a bag of Fritos?
Luke Scott – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 3rd homer. Member I said last week to pick him up? Yeah, nothing’s changed yet.
Matt Joyce – 3-for-5, 3 runs, 1 RBI and his 2nd game in a row with a homer. If he’s gonna hit, it will be in the first half. It’s Joyce to wit.
Justin Morneau – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs with his 3rd and 4th homers. Only cussword his fantasy owners are hearing this year is refocused.
Matt Capps – 1 IP, 1 ER and the save. Could he save a game without giving up a run? Just a question.
Kevin Youkilis – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs with his first homer. Youuuuuuuk, speaking through his agent, said, “Tell Valentine there’s his motivation. And Sugarhill Gang invented the rap. So there!”
Lucas Harrell – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks. Anyone with a rotation spot, you own in NL- or AL-Only leagues, so I grabbed Harrell in an NL-Only league. Never looked at his stats. Just grabbed him. Then he pitched well yesterday for the second time in three starts and I was like, “Hey, this guy’s awesome! I wanna see his minor league stats.” So I Googled his name to see his minor league stats, and Googled asked me, “Are you sure you want to see his minor league stats?” Yes, Google! Give ‘em to me! “Oh.” That was my reaction after seeing his stats. Um, yeah, I wouldn’t touch him in mixed leagues.
Aramis Ramirez – 2-for-4 with his first homer. He’s alive! I think.
Omar Infante – Out until Friday with a groin strain. It happened when he was running away from Hanley carrying a bottle of hair dye.
Pedro Alvarez – 1-for-3 with his 2nd homer. He’s batting .074 on the year. To get results from Alvarez, the Pirates threatened him with a demotion to Triple-A or worse a trade to the Orioles.
Jake Peavy – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks. Yes, you should own him. No, I’m not joking.
A.J. Pierzynski – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer. When I say hot, you say schmotato.
Doug Fister – Felt renewed discomfort in his abdomen. For Fister owners, that’s a punch to the gut.
Prince Fielder – 2-f0r-4, 2 RBIs and a steal as Major League Baseball tried to increase offense by moving 2nd base five feet from 1st.
Chase Headley – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and TWO HOMERS? He had two homers the entire 1st half last year, and two homers the entire 2nd half for four (stutterer!) total.
Michael Cuddyer – Homered then left Wednesday’s game with a bruised toe. If Cuddyer needs to miss time, guess who gets some time? No, not Eric Young Jr. Tyler Colvin. Could be some pop there. Keep your eyes peeled in deep leagues.
Juan Nicasio – 6 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks. Eh, I’ve seen better starts. Buehrle, for instance, that was better, but I’d continue to roll with Nicasio in most leagues.
Derek Holland – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks. Kinda wish I had Holland instead of Latos right now. Okay, I’ll let it go.
Kirk Nieuwenhuis – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 1 RBI and a steal. I’ve seen some people in the comments ask if they should pick up Kirk. Don’t cheat, Razzballers. Ask if you should pick up Nieuwenhuis. If I gotta spell that shizz, so do you. And, yeah, you should pick him up. Kinda like how I’ve been saying that in the last two weeks of Buys. Yesterday, he hit leadoff. That probably won’t hold, but Bay’s name is short for Sickbay, as in he hasn’t been good in years, and Duda hasn’t had much zippity, doo or dah recently.
R.A. Dickey – 4 1/3 IP, 8 ER. More like U.R.A. Dickey.
There’s a theorem that says if you gave a monkey a typewriter and an infinite amount of time, it could produce a Shakespearean sonnet. My question is, what if every monkey with a typewriter writes something more ingenious than anything Shakespeare ever came up with, but since we don’t have monkey brains (entirely), we don’t understand it? Deep Thoughts with Grey Albright. As for the theorem, how much monkeying around does it take in Boston to get one Bard? The Red Sox got the infinity part of the theorem right (Aceves’s ERA and WHIP), and they got what you usually get from a monkey and a typewriter… Crap thrown against a wall. Mark Melancon’s ERA is 36.00 and WHIP is 5.00, which looks downright beautiful compared to Alfredo Aceves’s ERA and WHIP which are just letters — INF, and if you owned Aceves for fantasy you know the INF stands for I am Now F***ed. To be, or not to be: the real question is who will close for the Red Sox? Bobby Valentine hinted they might go to Daniel Bard. Valentine doth protest too much, methinks! Of course, Bard should be the closer. You mean the one pitcher with the stuff to close that is now in the rotation that doesn’t have starter stuff? Over the last three years, Bard has the third most Holds, 213 Ks and 1.06 WHIP in 197 innings. But no Holds, Bard, now. Thine own self be true, and thine self is a closer. Give him saves. In the meanwhile, trattorias in Boston’s North End are adding Fedupfitzy Alfredo to their specials. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Clay Buchholz – 4 IP, 7 ER, 10 baserunners, 2 Ks. This Tigers/Red Sox series lived up its billing, and that billing was, “Both teams have one ace, then agita.”
Austin Jackson – 4-for-6, 3 runs yesterday and 8-for-14 in the series. In related news, Vanity sang her big hit, Nasty Girl, at karaoke.
Max Scherzer – 2 2/3 IP, 7 ER, 10 baserunners, 3 Ks. If Max Scherzer sounds like a character that Michael Chabon created, then yesterday the Nazis won.
Doug Fister – Off to the DL with a costochondral strain. That’s what you get when you eat too many $1.50 hot dogs at Costco.
Miguel Cabrera – 3-for-5, 5 RBIs and a homer. On Saturday, 2 homers and 3 RBIs. Now hitting .455, which coincidentally is his BAC.
Matt Cain – 6 IP, 5 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks. The Giants three-headed ace (Lincainbum?, Caincecumgarner?) didn’t fare so well in Arizona as the Giants’ petition to play their next series in Arizona in the Grand Canyon.
Brandon Belt – 1-for-10 this weekend with 5 Ks, as he was out-hit by his bench replacement Brett Pill (1-for-1 with a homer). I’m not making excuses, but I think for Passover Brandon Belt was replaced by his Jewish doppelganger.
Buster Posey – 2-for-4 with a homer and no broken ankles.
Aaron Hill – Homered twice on Saturday. Love to see him combine his crazy homer year of 2009 and crazy steal year of 2011. Imagine 36 homers and 21 steals from Aaron Hill. Will take a whole lotta tryin’ to just get up that Hill.
Bryan Shaw – Got the save yesterday since Putz recorded saves in the first two games of the season. Nothing to see here, the Diamondbacks just aren’t jerking around with their Putz.
Jay Bruce – Hit his 2nd and 3rd homers yesterday. I’m Eskimo-kissing Jay Bruce on all of my fantasy teams.
Zack Cozart – 1-for-3 yesterday and hit a homer on Saturday as he bats .545. You don’t want to know what I’m doing to Cozart on all my fantasy teams.
Heath Bell – 1/3 IP, 2 ER as he joined every reliever in major league baseball and blew the save. Why do I feel like 2012 is the year we all do Chinese fire drills on closers?
Chris Perez – Got the save yesterday after I got to the red light, ran around the car, grabbed Pestano and got back in the car. I’m sure we’ll hit another red light by Wednesday.
Carlos Santana – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs with 2 homers. I don’t own Carlos Santana anywhere, but as long as he’s not doing duets with Rob Thomas I’m happy.
Corey Hart – 3 HRs over the weekend. Shame on those of you who didn’t get the memo that he does really well overcoming spring training injuries in even years.
Ryan Braun – Homered on Sunday. The homer is under review because it was postmarked on Friday.
Fernando Rodney – 2 outs, 2 saves over the weekend. First Farnsworth, now Rodney. Joe Maddon is like the Crappy Reliever Whisperer.
B.J. Upton – Expected to return April 20th. Just think, if the Rays were married to this then they’d have to a wait a lot longer for a B.J.
Carlos Pena – Hit his second homer of the weekend yesterday. He’s the kind of player that hits 7 homers in 10 games, then 20 Ks in 5 games, so get in while the gettin’ in is good.
Jeremy Hellickson – 8 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks. Pitched a superb game for the “Grey Says He Hates These Guys, Let’s Make Grey Look Wrong” team.
Mike Minor – 5 IP, 6 ER, 10 baserunners, 6 Ks. Here’s me yesterday, “Hey, Minor’s through 3 innings with 5 Ks and only one run. Finally, one of my pitchers is performing. It’s about time. I won’t look back at this game, so I don’t jinx it.” That No-Look/No-Jinx worked out perfectly! I will now stick my head in the oven.
Lucas Duda – Hit 2 homers on Saturday. Oh, what a Duda day.
Jason Hammel – 8 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks as he switched bodies with Gio Gonzalez, Madison Bumgarner, Matt Cain and Yovani Gallardo. Not cool, Jason Hammel, not cool at all.
Vance Worley – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks making his mom, Jo Anne, so proud and me, since he was, like, the only pitcher that I liked that did well this first weekend. On a serious note, don’t throw out the baby with the fantasy team. There’s only three games played for most teams. You want your pitchers to come out and pitch well, but Bumgarner, for instance, had an ERA over 6 last April. Gallardo’s ERA was also over 6 last April. You can’t win your league in April, but you can lose it by overreacting. Chillax is the portmanteau of the day.
Juan Nicasio – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks. Pitched a terrific game until Rex Brothers blew it for him. Last time, I buy furniture from him.
Wilin Rosario – Homered in his first start of the year. Can we get someone to Gillooly Ramon Hernandez?
Bud Norris – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks. Triceps issue behind him, and now unto bigger and better injuries like shoulders and obliques!
Eric Hosmer – Homered in back-to-back games this weekend and had the always-delicious slam & legs on Easter Sunday. Guessing Moustakas is waiting until next Sunday to do the same.
Pedro Alvarez – 1-for-3 with a homer. Way to show up to the party 12 months late.
Lance Lynn – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 8 Ks. Looking for someone that can come out of nowhere and be valuable? Here ya go.
Jeff Samardzija – 8 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks. Someone already grabbed Lance Lynn, but you’d prefer a guy with a last name you can’t pronounce? You’re in luck!
Matt Kemp – ESPN reported, Kemp homered on Sunday to extend his hitting streak to 16 games. Huh? Did the Dodgers and Padres play back-to-back-to-back quintupletheaders?
Dustin Moseley – To the DL with a strained right shoulder. What an odd thing to find in your colander.
Chase Headley – 1-for-2, 4 RBIs and his 1st homer in Petco and equaling his Petco homer output from last year. Chase “Doing Just Enough To Stay Rostered on Your Fantasy Teams” Headley.
Hector Santiago – With heat from the fantasy baseball community and Nolan Ryan, Robin Ventura finally relented and decided on Hector Santiago to close, saying Thornton will maintain his 8th inning role. Not sure why it took so long for Ventura to say that. It’s like the White Sox manager hat is The Mask.
Well, that took care of the hitters. They’re done. That cake is done. Unless you count Utility-only players, the Hall of Fame committee doesn’t count them, not sure why you do. Maybe you like players so unathletic that they can’t even play first. You deal with your own hang-ups, ‘kay? Now we look at the top 20 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball. Bee tee dubya, I’m still calling this year twelve after twenty. Hope you are too, hate to think I started a fad that only lasted for a minute or two right after midnight on January 1st. We’re gonna take this top 20 to a top 40 then a top 60 then a top 80. Sounds daunting to you?! Try being the one writing all this gobbledygook. I have a pretty off color joke for that last word, but you would’ve had to be in ‘Nam to appreciate it. You’re not going to find me drafting many of the top tier 20 starters unless they drop to the point where I feel they’re a bargain. Say two to three rounds past their average draft position. There’s just too many starters you can grab in the 5th to 7th rounds that are pretty safe to mess with the top, top guys. I do like to grab at least one starter from the following post, but we’ll get to that. As with the hitters, the projections are mine and I’ll list where I see tiers starting and stopping. Anyway, here’s the top 20 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball:
1. Roy Halladay – This is the top tier. This tier goes from here until Verlander. I call this tier, “The top tier. Didn’t I already say that?” Halladay’s projections can be found in the top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball.
2. Clayton Kershaw – I saw some ‘perts rank Verlander above Kershaw. For shame, shame balls. I saw another ‘pert rank Verlander above Halladay. Shame ball me once? Shame balls on you. Shame ball me twice? Shame balls on you. To think I don’t get paid for this astute analysis. Inconceivable! Seriously (uh-oh, you know I’m about to get serious), what is there to say about the top pitchers? Kershaw just slept with your sister in the back of a hooptie, then left her on the side of the 101 in Reseda. Are you angry or proud? Proud, that’s how awesome he is. 2012 Projections: 17-7/2.55/1.05/230
3. Cliff Lee – The Adverb had a tough time with walks last year (for him, which is way below normal for any human pitcher), and that lead to a huge step forward in Ks (7.84 to 9.21 K/9). Doode, I’ll take a full 2.00 BB/9 if it means another 40 Ks. You feel me? If you do, could you stop? It’s making me uncomfortable. 2012 Projections: 18-8/2.50/1.05/215
4. Justin Verlander – The other day I heard a ex-jock, sportscasting announcer guy say, “Verlander didn’t have a good year…. He had a great year!” Is there any other profession that could get away with such trite shizz? Imagine your mechanic told you your muffler wasn’t good… It was great! You’d think twice the next time a Groupon for Jiffy Lube showed up in your Inbox. You know ESPN et al think they can get away with ex-jocks/idiotic sportscasters because they think you’re dumb. With that said, Verlander did have a great year. DAH!!! 2012 Projections: 18-7/2.75/1.08/240
5. Tim Lincecum – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Greinke. I call this tier, “The aces that once were.” I’m seeing Lincecum drafted after a couple of guys I have after him on my rankings, so if he were to fall far enough, I could see maybe getting him. He would have to fall probably much later than he will. He had a solid enough 2011 to still be an ace. Don’t love the falling K-rate, burgeoning walk rate or his highest xFIP since his rookie year. None of it is terrific, but I also wouldn’t yell fire in the theater of Lincecum. 2012 Projections: 15-10/2.75/1.18/230
6. Felix Hernandez – Ready to have your mind blown? F-Her actually had a better season in 2011 than his dream Cy Young year when he won a whole 13 games. Thinking about that, Murray Chass just rolled over in casket, assuming he sleeps in a casket to make things easier for his family when he dies. F-Her’s K-rate was better in 2011, his xFIP was nearly identical (3.14 vs. 3.15) and he won an extra game. (His WHIP was a little off, but that was due to some rollers finding holes, as they say on the Skee-Ball World Tour.) 2012 Projections: 15-12/2.80/1.14/220
7. CC Sabathia – I’m trying not to be too stupid this year. In previous years, I’ve said I’m avoiding CC because he has too many innings on his arm. Then he’s gone out and thrown another 200 innings. He can throw a lot of innings. He’s just a dandy Yankee who eats lots of cheese doodles — stick a feather in his arm and call it macaroni and then he’ll eat that too. 2012 Projections: 20-7/3.10/1.20/210
8. Zack Greinke – Okay, I probably will end up drafting Greinke cause I’m ranking him pretty high. That doesn’t mean I’m taking him in the 3rd round overall. (I’ll get to the top 300 overall where I rank everyone together; don’t worry your cute little egg-shaped head about that.) I can’t say I owned Greinke last year when everyone was crazy about him in the preseason because, well, everyone was crazy about him. Then he went out and had a 3.83 ERA. Belch called you up and burped. Obviously there’s more to his ERA than meets the eye. He had a 10.54 K/9 and a 2.56 xFIP. *drool* Everyone’s writing the Brewers off this year, and there’s some reason to, but Greinke used to do work on the Royals. He’ll be a’ight. 2012 Projections: 15-8/2.90/1.18/220
9. Cole Hamels – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Lester. I call this tier, “If I don’t have one starter already, here’s where I’m drafting and I’m fine with that.” Are we going to get the Hamels that gives a 9+ K-rate or the under-2 walk rate? Doesn’t matter. He really hasn’t had one bad year when you look under the hood. Four straight years of 32+ starts and no xFIP over 3.63. You’ll take it and like it. 2012 Projections: 15-10/2.95/1.10/200
10. Madison Bumgarner – I already went over my Bumgarner 2012 fantasy. I wrote it while counting my licks to the center of a Tootsie pop. 2012 Projections: 15-8/2.90/1.18/200
11. Yovani Gallardo – I took some flak for ranking Gallardo so high last year. Well, last year I ranked him 10th and this year 11th. Correction done. I don’t know, guys and three girl readers, he had a 8.99 K/9, dropped his walk rate by more than one per nine and had a xFIP of 3.19. Was it really that bad of a year? Rhetorical! If he gives me the same season as last year, I’m all right with that. (Side note: Gallardo was on the Verducci list of risky pitchers. Here’s what I said about that list.) 2012 Projections: 15-9/3.15/1.20/210
12. David Price – I saw one fantasy baseball ‘pert rank Price 11th and Gallardo 18th. Let’s see what we know from last year: Price’s K-rate 8.75; Gallardo’s 8.99, Price’s walk rate 2.53; Gallardo’s 2.56, Price’s xFIP 3.32; Gallardo’s 3.19, Price is in the AL East; Gallardo is in a Pujols-less NL Central (which actually sounds painful), Price won 12 games last year; Gallardo 17. I’m willing to throw wins out the metaphorical window, but is anything else saying Price is that much better? None of this is meant to disparage Price, bee tee dubya. I just don’t see the discrepancy between the two. You know what happens when you feel sick from French pancakes? You’re having a discrepancy. Take it, Highlights. It’s yours. 2012 Projections: 15-10/3.20/1.18/200
13. Jon Lester – I beat myself up a little (no, that’s not a euphemism for something else) on where to rank Lester. His xFIP last year was 3.62. I’ve seen better. His K-rate of 8.55 is great, but he’s done better. Looking inside his months, it’s hard to see why we should penalize him for two bad months (May and September). In May, he had one start vs. the Cubs where he gave up 5 earned in six innings, but the Sawx had a huge early lead, so he was pitching to bats. He was then torched by the Blue Jays for five runs in 5 innings, but three came in the 1st and then he settled down. Finally, he gave up 7 earned vs. the White Sox (obviously he doesn’t like Chicago pizza). In that game, he gave three early runs then 4 in the 6th to get chased. Then his bad month of September came when the entire club crapped on the memory of Johnny Pesky. Am I making excuses for Lester? Oh, fo’ sho. But he strikes out a lot of people. Hmm, guess I could’ve just said that. 2012 Projections: 16-9/3.25/1.22/200
14. Dan Haren – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until C.J. Wilson. I call this tier, “Wim Wenders’s favorite tier.” With my Haren ranking here, I’m basically blocking a Triple Word score with a solid, yet unspectacular word. I don’t think Haren is going to be someone who ends up out-performing this ranking (unless he lucks into, like, 22 wins). He is terrifically solid. No more, no less. It’s not a knock. It just is. 2012 Projections: 17-10/3.30/1.12/190
15. Jered Weaver – This year in and year out exceeding of his xFIP worries me. It’s like we’re being told to proceed with caution, but continue to ignore it and it works out. I don’t want the rug to get pulled out from underneath me, but I also don’t want to say he’s garbage because he has a bit of a track record that says he’s not. I’m going to put my ERA projection at 3.35, but if we get a 3.60 it wouldn’t shock me. I also don’t think it would make for that awful of a season either. 2012 Projections: 16-10/3.35/1.12/200
16. C.J. Wilson – When he landed in SoCal, I went over my C.J. Wilson fantasy. I wrote it while juggling fire. 2012 Projections: 14-8/3.45/1.21/190
17. Gio Gonzalez – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until the the top 40 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball. I call this tier, “Am I crazy with these rankings? Yeah, crazy like a fox!” You’ll pardon me if I link to my Gio Gonzalez 2012 fantasy rather than reiterating. This post is already pushing 2000 words and eyes tend to glaze over after the first 125 words. 2012 Projections: 15-8/3.50/1.28/200
18. Matt Cain – He’s the only name in this tier that isn’t crazy exciting just reliable. If you think this is too high and that I’m crummy with crackers, his ERAs the last three years were: 2.89, 3.14 and 2.88. Like Harrison Ford’s Jewish roots, those aren’t too shabby. Need more convincing? He had more quality starts than Halladay last year. Sure, his xFIPs aren’t great, but he beats those every year, let’s just accept that. 2012 Projections: 14-10/3.10/1.10/180
19. Mat Latos – Albert went over Latos’s trade to the Reds when it went down. There he said, “When you think Padres pitching, you assume they get huge bumps from Petco – not exactly the case for Latos. While he has a slightly better K:BB rate at home during the course of his career, his slash lines are virtually identical: .229/.287/.348 at home versus .224/.286/.351 on the road. Bingo-bango!” I added the bingo-bango. To add to that, Latos was facing the Giants and Dodgers a heck of a lot. They’re, how do I say, terrible. Yes, that’s how I say it. Home or away. He’ll be a bit less the pitcher he was, but he’ll also have an actual offense and could be a sleeper to get 20 wins. I know, I know, I don’t count on wins either. Just putting it out there in the ether, no relation to Andre. 2012 Projections: 16-10/3.50/1.20/200
20. Stephen Strasburg – His fan club, The House of Strasburg, better launder their early-1900s, Austrian officer uniforms because we’re about to have our ordainment of St. Rasburg. I want to watch him more than I want to get in a bidding war to own him. If you catch my drift… If you don’t catch my drift, stand behind me. I’d be shocked if he pitches one inning over 160. For our friends from Latin America, we have a caveat: I wouldn’t go near Strasburg in H2H leagues, there’s no way he pitches in September. 2012 Projections: 12-5/2.90/1.10/165 in 160 innings
All the final 2011 fantasy baseball rankings for hitters are done. For those that skipped today’s title, this starts the top 20 starters for 2011 fantasy baseball. This is NOT for 2012 (caps for those still wearing their Dolphin Tale 3-D glasses). This is a recap. Will these affect next year’s rankings? Sure. But not entirely. To recapitulate, these rankings are from ESPN’s Player Rater. It’s an objective third party to fairly gauge my preseason rankings. Does this mean I think ESPN’s Player Rater is the Tootie and I’m the Natalie? No, just an unbiased comparison. Anyway, here’s the top 20 starters for 2011 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
1. Justin Verlander – Verlander was terrific yadda3. I’d prefer to take his blurb to talk about how easily pitchers can go wrong, or fantasy teams, in general. I had Kershaw, Hamels and Yovani as guys I wanted in the preseason. They all finished in this top 20. Unfortunately, I also had Liriano in a group of pitchers I wanted, and he was the one I ended up with in a bunch of leagues. Pitching can be found later in drafts so this didn’t kill all my leagues, but it just shows you how easily a coin flip (Liriano or Kershaw) can turn a team’s fortunes. Preseason Rank #12, 2011 Projections: 15-10/3.50/1.18/210, Final Numbers: 24-5/2.40/0.92/250
2. Clayton Kershaw – You know what’s nice about Clayton Kershaw? Everything! This article from 2010 always sticks in the back of my mind. This is pretty unfair to point out. We’ve all been wrong. Shoot, I’m wrong more than I’m right. I’m probably wrong just pointing this article out. For those who don’t have ESPN Hindsighter, the piece was written almost two years ago. (Yeah, I randomly remember shizz like this but forget where I parked my car.) The author compares Kershaw to young pitchers over the last 30 years and how they get hurt or lose velocity. He compares Kershaw to Kazmir and Ollie Perez. Only there’s no mention that Kazmir and Perez had an entirely different flaw in their games. They walked more than someone with a DUI in Los Angeles. Also, he mentions Doc Gooden. Only he doesn’t mention that Gooden had the world by the nuts until he decided to see if he could snort the foul lines. What’s also omitted in that article is that Feller, Drysdale and Blyleven did pretty well at the ripe old age of 22. Could Kershaw collapse because he has too many innings on his arm at a young age? I suppose, but not because a few prodigies did and some other prodigies didn’t. Preseason Rank #7, 2011 Projections: 14-8/3.00/1.15/220, Final Numbers: 21-5/2.28/0.98/248
3. Roy Halladay – The fact that Halladay ended up 3rd is more a testament to the two pitchers above him rather than an indictment on anything he did. Preseason Rank #1, 2011 Projections: 19-7/2.75/1.06/205, Final Numbers: 19-6/2.35/1.04/220
4. Cliff Lee – This is more of an over-arching issue with my preseason projections and the end of the year numbers. Pitchers were a lot better than I thought they’d be (or hitters were a lot worse). Guys I really liked in the preseason such as Lee, I projected an ERA for them a hair under 3.00. There were 16 pitchers with an ERA under 3.00. And a bunch of them weren’t just a “hair” under 3.00. It’s the Age of ERA-rius. Preseason Rank #3, 2011 Projections: 16-6/2.95/1.05/190, Final Numbers: 17-8/2.40/1.03/238
5. Jered Weaver – On one of the last days of the season, I took my rusty scalpel to Jered Weaver for 2011. I wrote it while remarking what a nice beaver you have. Preseason Rank #10, 2011 Projections: 15-10/3.40/1.15/195, Final Numbers: 18-8/2.41/1.01/198
6. James Shields – This might be a bit shocking to some people, but Shields’s 2010 when he had a 5.18 ERA wasn’t really that different than his 2.82 ERA this year. He gave up a few less homers, was lucky with BABIP and left more men on base. He’s been a mid-3 ERA pitcher more or less for the last two years. Preseason Rank #58, 2011 Projections: 12-8/3.95/1.30/170, Final Numbers: 16-12/2.82/1.04/225
7. Ian Kennedy – This is a bit of a continuation of what I said in the Verlander blurb about getting unlucky with my first starter. In the preseason I said I wanted Kennedy, Bumgarner, Chacin, Cueto, Morrow, Edwin Jackson, Jonathan Sanchez or de la Rosa as my fourth starter. Lots of hits there, but I could’ve ended up with the misses. I didn’t though. So luck does tend to even out. Or not. Your choice. Preseason Rank #40, 2011 Projections: 11-10/3.75/1.25/180, Final Numbers: 21-4/2.88/1.09/198
8. Cole Hamels – My pitching projections weren’t great, but the guys I told you to draft weren’t bad. I’ve pegged Hamels as a guy to go after for four (stutterer!) years now. Next year, it’ll be the fifth. Really nothing ever wrong with Hamels assuming his luck isn’t terrible. Preseason Rank #14, 2011 Projections: 14-10/3.40/1.18/190, Final Numbers: 14-9/2.79/0.99/194
9. Dan Haren – “You got your head so far up your ass your mustache is also your eyebrows! There’s no such thing as the Haren pre- and post-All Star break splits!” That’s you. This year: 2.61 ERA pre-All Star break; 3.89 ERA post-All Star break. Um, okay. Preseason Rank #20, 2011 Projections: 15-9/3.60/1.18/215, Final Numbers: 16-10/3.17/1.02/192
10. CC Sabathia – For a few years now, CC has worried me with his innings. Yeah, he’s a workhorse, but this is the 2nd year in a row where his post-All Star break numbers have been less than stellar and in 2011 it was even more pronounced. I.e., it’s pronounced: tired. Preseason Rank #5, 2011 Projections: 18-10/3.40/1.20/190, Final Numbers: 19-8/3.00/1.23/230
11. Josh Beckett – You can go ahead and read Shields’s blurb again, because it’s pretty much the same deal with Beckett. Preseason Rank #29, 2011 Projections: 15-9/4.15/1.24/170, Final Numbers: 13-7/2.89/1.03/175
12. C.J. Wilson – A recurring theme in my stupid assitude is my inability to understand relievers turned starters. Wilson didn’t feel the effects of 2010 on his arm, he actually got better. I really have no clue. Preseason Rank #49, 2011 Projections: 12-6/3.95/1.28/165, Final Numbers: 16-7/2.94/1.19/206
13. Matt Cain – As I continue to be the best ‘pert I can be, I’ve realized I should ignore certain stats for Cain. Yes, I’m smarter now because I’ve chosen to be more ignorant. You’re welcome. Preseason Rank #23, 2011 Projections: 13-9/3.50/1.12/180, Final Numbers: 12-11/2.88/1.08/179
14. Ricky Romero – In the preseason, when I told you to draft Romero, here’s what I said, “Let’s count the ways we love Ricky Romero, shall we? 7 ways! Okay, maybe I should count them out loud. 1) Will only be 26 years old. 2) Will be entering his third big league season, a time when pitchers tend to hit their stride. 3) His K-rate was 7 and half and can get better. 4) He cut his walks last year. 5) Golden rings. 6) Pitches in the AL East… Hmm… That’s not a positive. 7) There was really only 4 reasons that I stretched out to 7.” And that’s me quoting me! Preseason Rank #59, 2011 Projections: 13-6/3.65/1.30/180, Final Numbers: 15-11/2.92/1.14/178
15. Tim Lincecum – I was pretty concerned about Lincecum’s falling K-rate coming off his 2010 season…Yet, came closer to his projections than I did for most. As always, it’s better to be wrong-right than right-right. Preseason Rank #4, 2011 Projections: 15-10/3.20/1.18/225, Final Numbers: 13-14/2.74/1.21/220
16. Doug Fister – Easily the only pitcher that came completely out of nowhere. Sure, I ranked Shields way lower than he ended up, but I told y0u to draft Shields. Not only did I not mention Fister, but I wouldn’t have told you to even pick him up until around July. Fister’s season wasn’t quite as pretty as it seemed, but his K-rate was respectable and his walks were low. Fister, what a pisser! (Though not Fister in the pisser.) Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 11-13/2.83/1.06/146
17. David Price – I ranked Price 17th and he ended up 17th. Boo-ya! Unfortunately, I also said to not draft him. Again, it’s about being wrong-right. Price had a great 2010, but he actually had a better 2011. It’s a truism, or it’s supposed to be a truism, that pitchers really hit their stride in their 3rd year in the bigs. That’s what 2011 was for Price. The great sign going forward is he looks like he can continue for years to come, barring injury. Preseason Rank #17, 2011 Projections: 14-10/3.60/1.22/185, Final Numbers: 12-13/3.49/1.14/218
18. Tim Hudson – No fair, he stole Roy Oswalt’s end of the year stats. Preseason Rank #27, 2011 Projections: 14-10/3.75/1.20/130, Final Numbers: 16-10/3.22/1.14/158
19. Yovani Gallardo – As anyone knows that was around in the preseason, I was caca-cuckoo for Gallardo. I wanted him on every team. I pretty much nailed his projections too. Yet, I feel like he let me down a bit. Funny thing with this is when I really like a guy, I want them to beat my projections, not match them. That’s kinda how I am in every facet of my life too. Maybe I am just like my mother. She’s never satisfied. Preseason Rank #9, 2011 Projections: 16-9/3.30/1.24/220, Final Numbers: 17-10/3.52/1.22/207
20. Felix Hernandez – F-Her can get lumped in with Shields and Beckett. He had pretty much the same season this year as he had in 2010 when he won the Cy Young. Only this year, he won an extra game, his K-rate was better, his luck was worse and he gave up two extra homers. As his spooner cousin Helix Fernandez would say, “Most people just saw a downward spiral year. Not wanting to see how his xFIP was similar from 2010 to 2011. Or they just went DNA. You know, Did Not Address.” Preseason Rank #2, 2011 Projections: 16-12/2.80/1.10/220, Final Numbers: 14-14/3.47/1.22/222
