Tim Lincecum missed yesterday’s start vs. the Padres (there goes that 14 K start) and gave way to the Giants big-time rookie pitching prospect, Madison Bumgarner. Lincecum should be back by this weekend. A detailed Madison Bumgarner outlook can be found where it says, “Madison Bumgarner outlook.” (Yeah, still haven’t figured out how to naturally link to something. I feel like Buzz Bissinger. Bleh! What are these things you call links? Bleh!Please, blog, may I have some more?
With September 1st knocking on August’s door — August 31st, is that you? Uh… No. August 30th? Nope. August 32nd? No, you nitwit! It’s September 1st! – it’s time we looked at September call ups. These are potential September call ups that will, should, could and potentially make or not make a difference in fantasy baseball. Today, we’ll look at the hitters, then on Tuesday afternoon we’ll look at pitchers. So tip out some of your malt liquor for the pitchers who aren’t here and take a drag on that Newport, cause Razzball’s Alive With Pleasure with September call ups, the hitters. Anyway, here’s some potential September call ups to keep your eye on for fantasy baseball:
Jason Heyward – I could shave words of praise in my merkin for Heyward, but it probably won’t do us any good. If Heyward gets called up, he probably won’t have that large of a role in September.Please, blog, may I have some more?
James Lipton recently sat down with Stephen Strasburg and when he asked him what he thought of becoming a Nat, Stephen Strasburg said a’la Brando in On the Waterfront, “Actaaaaaa!!!” Stephen Strasburg is THE BEST PITCHER EVER. (Caps were provided by Scott Boras.) The hype and superlatives of Strasburg have been spewed across the interwebs, so allow me to give you some perspective. The last seven number one draft picks were Delmon Young, Matt Bush, Justin Upton, Luke Hochevar, David Price, Tim Beckham and Strasburg. One guy in those seven is currently helping you. One guy could help you. One guy grabbed $3.15 million and opened a shaved ice stand in Acapulco. In 1996, Kris Benson was presumably the best pitcher to ever toe the rubber coming out of college with a 204/27 K/BB ratio. In 1999, Alfredo Amezaga was drafted one pick before Albert Pujols. I think Strasburg will help your fantasy baseball team at some point. I don’t think he’s helping you this year. In deep keeper leagues, I’d grab Strasburg now. He’ll be a Nat sooner versus later, but that’s only because the Nats number one pitcher is John Lannan. In one year leagues, wait until he’s called up. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brad Lidge – Headed to the DL. Man, who else strikes out more than a batter an inning, yet looks so vunerable to a meltdown? I mean, this doode literally will strikeout the side around two home runs. I don’t think this will necessarily be a lost season for Lidge. He should come back in July and be ‘just okay.’ Hopefully, for Lidge owners, he gets the closing job back. I think he will. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t own Madson.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Carlos Zambrano in his own special way welcomed the Cubs new arrival, Jake Fox, with a shizzfit of epic proportions. Zambrano was ejected for bumping an ump, I especially enjoyed when the ump ejected him and he then ejected the ump. I’m out of order?Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Carpenter/Gallardo duel reminded me of Landon and Brittini taking on Mark and Rachel as they competed to see who could slide the furthest on giant blocks of ice while wearing nothing but speedos. (BTW, Nice to see Mark battling the ageism of MTV. Stick it to man! Wait, he is a man. Show those rapscallions, gramps!) Chris Carpenter went 8 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 10 Ks, then Yovani Gallardo removed his fey white gloves and went 8 IP, 0 ER, 6 Ks, i.e., the other end of the duel. Going forward, I’d trade Carpenter away and trade for Gallardo. You may be right, I may be crazy. Gallardo can throw 200 Ks and a sub-4 ERA. While Carpenter will be tremendous if healthy, but that if is supersized. Now, no one’s saying to trade him for a Circuit City gift card, but I’d see what kind of deals you can broker. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Matt Capps – He fell to the ground in pain like he was just, um, capped as a line drive hit him in the arm. It looked as if it could lead to a DL stint. I grabbed John Grabow in every league. Jesse Chavez might see some chances, but I’m not intoxicated enough to own two Pirate relievers.Please, blog, may I have some more?
(Note from Rudy: I wanted the title, “Ditch Stitch Tits.” Over Instant Messenger, Grey thickly said, “What’s with you and the stitch tits? This is about Vlad, not Pamela Anderson.” It means Vlad had a pectoral tear. Your pectoral is in your chest. Sorry none of you could bask in my preferred title. Now, carry on, Grey — lamer!) Vladimir Guerrero is due back on Monday from a torn pectoral. I’m not a doctor, but occasionally I played one in my preteen years. All I know of the pectoral is it’s somewhere in Vlad’s body. Do I have one? Maybe. No idea. So let’s go with what I do know. Scioscia lies; he lies when he cries that Vlad can’t play the outfield, but can DH, which he said on April 7th, right before Vlad missed six weeks. When Vlad did finally hit the DL, some source that Jayson Stark won’t reveal (because this is just so damning I suppose) said, “When those offensive linemen get (the same injury as Vlad) in the NFL, they’re out for the year.” So, assuming Vlad doesn’t need to block Jose Guillen from trying to tackle Scioscia, will Vlad be in the clear come Monday? Not likely. The injury that was only supposed to effect him when he throws has already sidelined him for 6 weeks from hitting. I’m assuming the Angels brass got together and decided half of a Vlad (or Vl) was a lot more intimidating hitting in the middle of the lineup than sitting on the sidelines doing Sudoku. This does not mean you need to have him in your fantasy lineup. Remember last year from June on, Vlad only hit 20 homers, or about what Raul Ibanez has done already (Raul!). Then you throw in the risk of having a player who is a Latin 34 with deteriorating skills and knees and he’s a sell. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Brian Anderson – Could have some slight value in AL-Only leagues. Though if you have a erection for longer than 4 hours after picking up Brian Anderson, you should seek advice from a doctor.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Carlos Delgado might as well enjoy a Cocktail or two as he’s the latest member of the new hip injury (double entendre) – the torn labrum. It took A-Rod two months to come back from this and he’s younger, in better shape, and a bigger poser (not sure how the 3rd point is relevant, just felt like saying it). If you drafted Delgado, you’ve got to just let him go. No use clogging up a DL slot except if you’re in a real deep league. Forget the Mets replacements for now – Tatis, Murphy, Kranepool, etc – as none of them have 1B eligibility. Hopefully you have another player for the 1B slot and can just grab the best 1B/3B available for cornerman. Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Rickie Weeks – Weeks’s out-for-the-seasony is epidemic, ya’ll. Hardy likes to hit 2nd and Hart or Counsell would make sense in the leadoff spot. If Gamel plays 3rd, Counsell or Hall would be play 2nd. Hall would get a nice boost in value if he gains 2nd base eligibility, which is to say he would go from no value to some value in deep leagues. This Weeks injury should be a wake up call for all Blalock owners. One day he’s hitting homers, the next day he has a root canal that sidelines him indefinitely. Okay, Weeks, Nomar and Baldelli offer you a ride, but the catch is you can’t wear your seatbelt, do you accept the ride?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Let’s see, winner of the All-Star game gets home field advantage… The WBC… Open the season in another country… Steroids testing after letting the world believe Bret Boone was good… Finally, interleague play. Selig, hang your legacy right next to the monkey carcass that helped spread the AIDS virus. Well, interleague is here whether we like it or not. I don’t, but this is only partially about me. So what can we do about interleague play for fantasy baseball?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ohmigod, Grey’s totally going against Rudy’s risky pitcher post? They are so fighting. I hope Rudy rips off Grey’s stache. $5 says it’s not real. Uh-hum. I can hear you, random italicized voice. I’m actually typing you! My bad. So, yes, Jon Lester is a risky pitcher. But at this point, he’s also a buy. His ERA’s 6.31. That’s ridunkiculous from where it should be. He’s pitching well (minus some ill-timed long balls), tremendous K-rate, solid walk rate. A pitcher who is pitching well and has a 6.31 ERA is such a crazy buy, that I wouldn’t be surprised if his owners weren’t even selling. But, on the other hand, they’re smarting from his earned runs. They may see LaTroy Hawkins or Jason Bartlett and be like, “Hey, Lester’s killing me, why not take a guy that at least has been good?” That’s why you prey on those suckas. This is why you have brass balls and you just chucked one at your mean lady neighbor who keeps bugging you when you turn the Dropkick Murphys to eleven and put it on repeat. I’m a sailor peg!!! And I lost my leg!!! I love that song. Wait, what was I saying? Oh, yeah. Lester — get him, within reason. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy and Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Justin Duchscherer – If he’s on waivers and you can stash him on your DL, stash away.Please, blog, may I have some more?
All of these rookies are worth grabbing at the right spot, but I wouldn’t reach for any of them. Sorry if that sounds boring, but sometimes Grey needs to instill some right-wing fantasy baseball conservatism into the equation. Longoria, Soto, Tulowitzki, Braun, Michael J.Please, blog, may I have some more?