King Hodor of the House of Hodor. First of his Hodor. Long may he Hodor.
At this point, there appear to be more trades occurring after the July 31st deadline. In fact, just yesterday, Mike Morse was acquired by the Orioles, Jason Kubel was acquired by the Indians, and, as you may or may not have realized yet, John Axford and his, well, what ever you call the things he grows on his face, has been acquired by Ozark nation. Which, if you don’t know the area, is known for abandoned El Caminos and the second highest murder rate in the nation, next to Detroit. Err, Detroit, the RoboCop version. What’s the fantasy impact? I’m sure glad I just asked myself that question. Mike Morse’s situation changes a bit, a better hitting environment and a better lineup could lead to some stat boosting. Jason Kubel, well, he remains the same. Insignificant. Frankly, I don’t even understand the move, since the Indians are already paying for a player (cough, Mark Reynolds, cough) that’s doing better right now, yet plays for the Yankees. Ballsy strategy if you ask me. And then there’s John Axford. I’ll be honest, since I lie all the time I guess, the impact here is not much, if anything. But I do like Axford drinking the same water those other Cardinal pitchers are drinking, and would not be surprised if his situation improves next year. So keep a look out. Here’s what else I noticed yesterday… Please, blog, may I have some more?
The fantasy gods can be a cruel mistress, and after dealing a crushing blow Thursday night in a frustrating (ie stupid) brawl-induced injury, taking Zack Greinke from us, the gods have claimed their next victim, another newly acquired player and top fantasy shortstop, Jose Reyes. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Gattis, Gattis, who the eff is Gattis? He wandered the streets asking that exact same question to everyone he came upon. Spiritual advisors, ski instructors, girls who smelled of patchouli and had dreadlocks. WHO THE F IS GATTIS? Because I’m a glutton for punishment and endless catcher questions, here we are again with me recommending a catcher. Evan Gattis, the man who once lived in the adult section of a video store. The man who once dug through Mario Batali’s trash cans for a pair of used Crocs. The man who didn’t remember how he got where he was, but when he was there it sure made him happy. Gattis is like the homeless man on Robertson Blvd., who was drafted by the Royals, but this story has a happy ending. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yost would tell you that Holland is still the closer, but Kelvin Herrera should be the closer in KC. No, there’s no official closer change, but it’s obvious. You really only had to watch the last two games for confirmation, and Malcolm Gladwell would tell you to Blink. In his last game, Holland took the save to the very brink. Herrera had opposing hitters’ bats in the clink. In my daily diet, I eat mutton, it’s high in zinc. I call my therapist, Saran, and this is my shrink…rap! Sorry, I just mentally transported back to my days of Bum wine and roses when I thought I was black and I’d start freestyling. Every teenager who thinks they’re cool right now, so did I and now I’m a fantasy baseball blogger. Muahahahahaha… So, what I began saying was Yost can say whatever he wants on the Royals closer situation, but Herrera is the better pitcher right now, and he could be a Donkeycorn by the middle of May. I would continue to hold Holland, but Kelvin should be owned, as well. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball: Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Brewers called up shortstop, Jean Segura. Woohoo! Now, on various teams, I have Domonic Brown, Mike Olt, Straily, Starling Marte, Brett Jackson, Josh Vitters and some serious Short Eyes. I’m basically the creepy guy hanging around the playground in my Astrovan, blasting “Hey Nineteen” wearing candy jewelry like I’m Mr. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brennan Boesch is hitting near .400 in July and I said he could be the biggest surprise of the 2nd half on our fantasy baseball podcast. Let’s get in our DeLorean for a moment… Geez, it smells like sitting inside a TV dinner. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Francisco Rodriguez got the save yesterday, then K-Rod told the reflection in his mirror I’m nobody’s dork. He’s been Marmolesque (1.42 WHIP, 4+ BB/9), but saves plus a solid K rate has its value. If you really need saves, you could do worse. Please, blog, may I have some more?