A scant three weeks remaining in the regular season, an injury or stint on the disabled list now tends to stick the proverbial fork in someone’s season. In addition to the normal injury reports, a slew of pitchers and hitters returned to active rosters today. Just call me Professor Farnsworth because “Good news, everyone!” we have a lot of players to discuss.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Masahiro Tanaka went 8 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 10 Ks. I took some guff in the preseason for being down on Tanaka, in the non-sexual way. I projected him for the line of 10-4/3.49/1.15/150. His line right now is 11-6/3.57/1.01/125. Yeah, I was waaaaaaaaay off. Multiple A’s to allow time for an eye roll. Kids write me letters and say, “Unkie Grey, how did you know what Tanucky (sic) would do so mediocrely?” My answer is always the same, I’m a witch. Then I continue, “No, that’s just a broom. Male witches ride around on Vespas.” Tanaka was an easy person for me to avoid this year due to his elbow tendon. For 2016, sadly, I don’t see my enthusiasm changing. Or at any point for him until he has surgery, rehabs for 12-16 months and then returns. I wish he would, because I would like to get excited about him, but it’s just not gonna happen, said like Dana Carvey impersonating George H. W. Bush. Now, excuse me, I double-parked my Vespa on Sandoval’s foot. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Since last week’s Ambulance Report the Los Angeles Dodgers have suffered a pair of injuries. If there is a silver lining to them, it’s that the team went and called up Corey Seager. Given his lofty prospect pedigree — he’s unarguably a top-25 guy, mostly top-10 prospect — and the potential for playing time down the stretch as the Dodgers rest some of their other players, it’s time to pick up Seager if he’s still free in your league.Please, blog, may I have some more?
So, I’m here today to talk about The Gregorius D.I.D. Yo, tell me, who’s hot, who’s not, who still out on waivers? Check out my mustache, I’m no shaver. D-I-D P-O-P-P-A, no info from the ESPN. Free agents mad cause I’m flagrant. Call my cell and I’m in my mom’s basement. My fantasy team supreme, stay clean in the offseason. Bats in holsters, pitchers and their effin’ shoulders. Playboy, I told ya, cause I talk to the centerfolds and they talk back to me. Hanley bruise too much, I lose too much. I guess it’s cause you run and come up lame too much. Me lose my touch? Never that! If I did, ain’t no problem to pick up a bat. Yo, waivers, where the true players at? So, Didi Gregorious, BK’s finest, has been smoking hot for the past week and should be owned in every league. In the last week, he’s hitting near .600 with three homers. Will it continue? There’s only three weeks left of the season, it doesn’t matter if it will continue. It’s Cadbury Crunchie time, own players that are producing right now, honeycomb. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
As we always do about this time! *beat drops, Grey does the worm, Grey’s iPhone alarm goes off, time to put more money in the meter* Damn, how long was I worming for? September 1st hits and teams expand their rosters to the Four-Oh. Now pour some extra bullpen guys out for all the dead moments between pitcher changes. So, what does this mean for all of us, fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!)? It means call-ups and rookie nookie is aplenty. Aplenty, I tell ya! By the by, for big boned people, rather than an X-Large t-shirt, they should call them aplen-Tees. Yeah, I just made the English language better. High-five yourself for even knowing to read me. *Grey worms, alarm goes off* Damn, I need to get more coins. At this point in the year, you need guys that are getting everyday playing time, so I’m pumped up the jam on Javier Baez (0-for-4) being called up — Javier Na Gila! — but if he’s not playing every day, he’s not helping me in redraft leagues. I’m intrigued by Brandon Drury (0-for-4), but I’m also hesitant if he doesn’t play every day. Hector Olivera (0-for-4) was called up, and I’ve already gave you my Hector Olivera fantasy and I do think he plays every day. It’s a most exciting time to be alive and be fantasy balling, but don’t lose sight of the real goal here. To get quality at-bats from guys that are playing, not to pick up a guy that will be great in 2016. (Unless you’re in a keeper league; then, by all means, knock yourself out! Not literally! Ouch.) Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Cubs traded a player to be named later for Austin Jackson. Assuming the player to be named later isn’t anyone on their current roster, this was a solid trade for them from a real baseball perspective. Real baseball has more spitting than fantasy baseball, but about the same amount of scratching. The areas that are scratched are similar too. Like just below the FUPA. Austin Jackson clouds up the Cubs’ current roster in all the worst ways. Can one team have too much of a good thing? The short answer is yes. The long answer is yeeeeeeeees. Now, Coghlan (1-for-4), Fowler (2-for-5 and his 15th homer), Schwarber (1-for-4, 1 run, 1 RBI) and maybe Baez, when he’s called up, are squeezed for playing time. If anyone can make this work, it’s Maddon. Sadly, only Maddon will understand how, why, what and every journalistic question as to when Jackson or anyone will play. Oh, and Soler will return shortly too. And by “shortly,” I don’t mean the manner in which Altuve does something. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Did you ever wonder why, back in your school days, that there was no “E” grade? What happened to “E”? The apparent reason for the lack of an “E” grade is because most systems are based on four passing grades. “A”, “B”, “C” and “D”. After these passing grades come failure, and since failure starts with the letter “F”, “F” is used to denote a failure. It’s really quite simple. It just happens to be that “F” is the sixth letter, but had it been the tenth or even the last, an “F” would still be used to let you know that you just flunked. Someone who fails is a failure. Does that make someone that flunks a flunky? I actually had a teacher one year, I think it was the 7th grade, that incorporated “E” into his grading system. It was actually higher than an “A”, if that makes sense, and stood for “excellent”. I always thought that was an A+. I’m pretty sure that teacher was a major pothead. I liked him. I had an entirely different teacher that had a completely different set of grades that included an “E”. In this class it stood for “exceeds expectations”. There was no “A”, “B”, “C”, “D” or “F”. Instead we had “E”, “M” and “N”. The latter two standing for “meets expectations” and “needs improvement”.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s not often we look to Arizona for help in the pitching department. I mean, we’ve lovingly referred to Chase Field as Coors in the desert, Coors Lite (cuz when you make a reference, it’s gotta be about beer even when it’s bad, amirite?), Rocky Mountain High at Sea Level…hrm, that last one I’ve never heard but maybe it’ll become a thing now? Whatevs, the point is, it’s a bit of a risk taking on an arm from these games because the field plays so well for hitters. Make no mistake here, there’s nothing safe about starting Robbie Ray here. His skillset doesn’t truly inspire confidence and that’s evident by his recent run. Overall, he’s a situational pitcher and that’s what has put me on him today. Prior to yesterday’s 8 run outburst, the Cardinals offense had been abhorrent of late, putting up a measly 86 wRC+ in August while K’ing 22.3% of the time. What makes Ray even more intriguing is that the Cardinals numbers vs lefties on the year are identically bad vs southpaws overall, sitting at 88 and 22.8%, respectively. You’re not looking to Ray to score you more than 30 but at his $6,300 price tag, a healthy 20 to 25 point range isn’t going to hurt you at all. And with that, let’s move on. Here’s my desert hot takes for this Monday DK slate…
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m channeling some inner-Albright this week. Seat of your pants son! Speaking of Grey, I used the photo he took of me giving him the Larry Bird for my new avatar since it made sense to me that I should use Grey’s photo on his site. In other news, I shook up my top-100 this week as we get to the third leg of the 400-meter stretch run relay. If you’re not in the top-60, then you can be cut at any time. If you are hot, ascending, or the type of player who can go on a monster power or speed run, then I want you. Obviously, I couldn’t get everyone here, for this isn’t the Top-120, but you may notice the name brands in the bottom of the list. They are there because it’s difficult to cut some of them, but if you must, then you must.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I must say, I don’t believe in curses, hexes, jinxes or whatever you may call it, but this season is rapidly descending into a Euripides level of despair for me. As I look at my various rosters being struck with injuries and my place in the standings perpetually falling, I’m already looking ahead to next season. With another round of injuries comes another round of drinks. Misery loves company, right?
Jeremy Hellickson, D-Backs: A strained left hamstring forced the club to shelve Hellickson for a time, as the right-hander was placed on the 15-day disabled list retroactive to August 19. The 28-year-old has had an up an down season, and I’ve been bamboozled by his strong 10.6 percent swinging strike rate not translating to a better strikeout rate. His SwStr% is tied for 25th out of 88 qualified starters, however his 7.47 K/9 ranks 38th and 19.1 percent K% comes in at 50th. I’ve been holding out hope Hellboy could get his K-rate to match his whiffs, but for now we’ll have to wait at least until the first week of September to see him back in action.Please, blog, may I have some more?