As I announced yesterday after inferring things from elsewhere, it’s official.  Anthony Rizzo will be in tonight’s lineup vs. the Mets.  I’d continue to paint the walls of your brain with more praise, but I think we’ve heard enough.  If I effuse anymore, you Rizzo owners aren’t going to be able to get into your pants anymore.  Let’s look at reality for a second, last year he hit 1 homer and .141 in 49 games and 128 ABs.  I didn’t make those numbers up.  I seriously just looked them up on the Al Gore-invented Internet.  One homer, .141 average.  That sounds downright Zimmermanian.  Sure, it was in Petco (for his home games), and the only one that likes to hit there is Tony Gwynn and he’s hitting the buffet.  Is it totally outta the realm of possibility that Anthony falls flatso?  Noppers.  Right now, Rizzo might be at the height of his value.  Say you have Konerko, Middlebrooks and really no room for Rizzo, except by clogging up your Utility spot.  I wouldn’t hold onto Rizzo waiting for his value to possibly drop out.  It might take alligator blood to trade Rizzo right now, but to the bold go the fantasy spoils, or whatever that cliche is.   This is not to say I think he will Triple Lindy back into Triple-A, but it’s out there as a possibility.  You didn’t just back up into Miguel Cabrera off of waivers.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Travis Wood – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks.  You know something the media hasn’t covered much?  What a great year it is for pitchers with double entendre last names.  We haven’t seen anything like this since The Big Unit tried a backdoor cutter.  Wood has a K:BB 35:20 in 48 1/3 IP.  That’s fine for NL-Only leagues, but I’d be careful letting Wood poke around my mixed league team.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Will Middlebrooks was called up to step between his brother, Donnybrook, Bobby Valentine and Youuuuuuuuuk.  Youuuuuuuuuk said, “Ow, my back hurts, I need the DL,” Valentine said, “Just wrap yourself in lavash, that makes everything better.”  Donnybrook erupted in a public place because of needling from Sawx fans and Will Middlebrooks hits a lot of homers in the minors.  Hello, Will, you be staying for dinner?  I’ve prepared a nice spot at the corner spot.  Please disregard the Rays embossed flatware that I have there; it was for someone else.  This year in 23 games in Triple-A, Middlebrooks hit 9 homers and stole three bases.  Last year, he hit 18 in Double-A in 96 games and 7 in 17 games in the low minors.  Yesterday, he went 2-for-3 and stole a base.  He strikes out way too much currently with little to no walks for him to come close to putting up a good average over the long haul.  But long hauls are why you pay movers on Craigslist.  You’re looking at short term if you lost Longoria and, for that, I say grab him in AL-Only and deep mixed leagues.  If you’re in a league where you can grab Alvarez or Chris Davis, then I’d go with them right now.  And, no, I never thought I’d be saying that a month ago.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Josh Beckett – Beckett will only miss one start due to his lat soreness.  Lat’s all, folks.

Please, blog, may I have some more?