From fear that MLB would crack down on Performance-Enhancing Goggles, Francisco Rodriguez was traded to the Orioles. Or was something else at work besides the Orioles wanting Dor-K to pitch the 8th, setting up Jim Johnson? Here, try this. Put your arm down, now pick it up, now put it down, now move your furry eyebrows up and down. Jim Henderson, The Muppet Master, pulls all strings. He orchestrates all. He forces Beaker to say, “Me me me me me me me.” Bit of a control freak if you ask me, but it worked out for him this time, since Henderson will be taking over the ninth inning now in Milwaukee. For those holding John Axford for saves, it could happen since he’s been solid for the last two months. The Brewers could still trade Henderson or Axford. Or the Brew Crew could send out 2014 season ticket offers reading, “Braun’s Back Without the Acne!” Only time will tell. As for K-Rod, in most redraft leagues that don’t use middle relievers, you can lose him. This did come across the wire in Baltimore, when you trade for K-Rod, then you better watch your back. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
When Jose Fernandez walks into the 18-and-over strip club, where only the drinks are virgins, that’s called “Rookie Nookie,” he flips his rookie cards like they’re dollar bills, yelling, “Jose make it rain! Jose make it rain! Get it? Hoe say, ‘Make it rain.’” He explains his puns, but he doesn’t need to explain his stuff. It’s filthy with a side of Dirt Nasty. Last night, his line was 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners (2 hits) and 10 Ks. Sure, it was against the Padres, but Nolasco just got his asco handed to him by the same team. Fernandez is in the upper echelon of K-rates (9+) for all pitchers with a more than manageable walk rate (hair above 3). Oh, and he’s 20 years old. He can’t buy alcohol! He can’t legally marry an illegal alien in the state of Mississippi without parental consent! He’s so young Jose Tabata’s wife could’ve gave birth to him! He skipped right from High-A to the majors, so this is basically his Double-A season. I just got goose pimples on my butt thinking about how good he can be next year. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Wow, assembling this week’s list of players made me dizzy with enthusiasm. No. I’m lying. To help write this post, I have a hired a shadow writer sorta speak. Readership meet my shadow writer — Vodka. Vodka, meet readership. What did you say? Drink more? Silly you. You’re already empty! Let’s get this thing started before I get prescribed anti-depressants.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome to the first official Deep Impact for this 2013 season. We went over some Overvalued and Undervalued choices to help with your off season tasks. Now that the year has begun, one could ask what our goal will be as this series moves forward. Well, foremost, this series exists to do the chit and do the chat with all things Deep League. That should have been obvious, or my title needs to be changed. But I don’t want to change it, I want to live in a world where Morgan Freeman is the President. And Leelee Sobieski is actually eating. And, well, Frodo is still Frodo, except instead of a ring, he’s keeping his chick safe from the tsunami horde and hopefully any type of sandwich shortage.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last year, the only type of starts and luck that Charlie Morton had was bad. Despite good stuff and pedestrian ratios (6.7 K/9, 2.9 BB/9), he put up some of the worst stats in recent history. A 7.57 ERA in 79 innings during the year of the pitcher!Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m bitter. I dropped Brennan Boesch in one league on Wednesday night for Russell Branyan. Branyan DNP yesterday. Boesch hit a homer off CC. All my ex-classmates at the College of Fantasy Baseball at Charleston are going get on my case.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Derek Holland is not officially a rookie, but that doesn’t mean he might not roofie you. Pitching in and out of the rotation last year, he had some real ulcer-inducing starts. I know, I have the internal scars to prove it.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It wasn’t my intention, but with this draft I was able to prove, in a pinch, I can draft a pretty good fantasy baseball team for 2006. Maybe they can show this draft on ESPN Classic. If I can somehow bait my leaguemates into my DeLorean, I could win this league.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We finish off the infield with the top 20 3rd basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball. The top 20 2010 fantasy baseball rankings from shallowest to deepest go catchers, shortstops, third basemen, 2nd basemen then 1st basemen. That’s right, I think the 2nd basemen are deeper than the 3rd basemen.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kick this post off with a little side note copulation. Big Stein had it all wrong when he called Dave Winfield, Mr. May. Jason Bay is Mr. May. From 2005 to 2009, he’s hit 9, 12, 4, 7 and 10 homers, respectively.Please, blog, may I have some more?