Wow, assembling this week’s list of players made me dizzy with enthusiasm. No. I’m lying. To help write this post, I have a hired a shadow writer sorta speak. Readership meet my shadow writer — Vodka. Vodka, meet readership. What did you say? Drink more? Silly you. You’re already empty! Let’s get this thing started before I get prescribed anti-depressants.

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Welcome to the first official Deep Impact for this 2013 season. We went over some Overvalued and Undervalued choices to help with your off season tasks. Now that the year has begun, one could ask what our goal will be as this series moves forward. Well, foremost, this series exists to do the chit and do the chat with all things Deep League. That should have been obvious, or my title needs to be changed. But I don’t want to change it, I want to live in a world where Morgan Freeman is the President. And Leelee Sobieski is actually eating. And, well, Frodo is still Frodo, except instead of a ring, he’s keeping his chick safe from the tsunami horde and hopefully any type of sandwich shortage.

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Last year, the only type of starts and luck that Charlie Morton had was bad.  Despite good stuff and pedestrian ratios (6.7 K/9, 2.9 BB/9), he put up some of the worst stats in recent history.  A 7.57 ERA in 79 innings during the year of the pitcher!  It was a 54 ERA+ (adjusted for park and era) which stands as the 5th worst ERA+ since 1945 for pitchers with 79+ IP.  It’s hard to say how much of his .353 BABIP was because he threw down the middle or back luck but let’s just say the latter.  It seemed like luck was balancing out in his first three starts this year as he went 2-0 despite throwing 6 Ks and 12 BBs in 22 innings.  But excluding an ugly win in Colorado (where just about every non-ace should be benched), his last three starts – including last nights 5-hit shutout – have shown significant progress.  In those 18 2/3 IP, he’s K’d 17 and walked 7.  So let your league mates focus on his ghastly K:BB for the season while you get him on the cheap.  I’d still bench him during bad match-ups but he looks primed to be a solid 5th/6th SP in shallow leagues.

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Derek Holland is not officially a rookie, but that doesn’t mean he might not roofie you.  Pitching in and out of the rotation last year, he had some real ulcer-inducing starts.   I know, I have the internal scars to prove it.  Oh, Mylanta!  Though his xFIP was better than his actual ERA.  I know, too bad your league isn’t all fussy with an xFIP category.  Holland’s a plus-plus strikeout guy.  In the hitter-friendly PCL, he had a 37:7 K:BB rate and a 0.93 ERA.  He’s homer-prone and in Arlington that is a recipe for turd nuggets.  I’m much more aggressive about grabbing young hitters than young pitchers.  Hitters give you an 0-for-34 and you punt.  A pitcher gives you a 2 IP, 7 ER start and that causes you to punch a random stranger and then next thing you know some guy named Bubba is fitting you for a teardrop tattoo.  See how quickly that spiral spun downward?  Ask Lawrence Taylor, he’ll tell you.  So I didn’t grab Holland anywhere, but I would in the right circumstances, as long as you monitor where you start him.  His first two outings are set for the A’s and Angels.  That’s a “Yes, please” and “Don’t mind if I do.”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Johnny Cueto – 9 IP, 1 hit shutout with 8 Ks as he dropped his ERA to 4.07 on the season.  And there’s why I liked him so much in the preseason.  If he’s out there in your league, own him, in the non-biblical sense.

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It wasn’t my intention, but with this draft I was able to prove, in a pinch, I can draft a pretty good fantasy baseball team for 2006.  Maybe they can show this draft on ESPN Classic.  If I can somehow bait my leaguemates into my DeLorean, I could win this league.  Rudy didn’t draft with me, but, after the draft, he said, “I really like this team.”  Knowing Rudy’s a fantasy baseball cougar, I know it wasn’t a usual team for me to draft.  Why did I draft it then?  Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t, as the old nugget goes.  Or maybe that’s nougat.  Nevertheless, it’s less than 20 minutes after drafting this team and maybe I’ll cozy up to it over time.  Maybe I’m just sore because I missed out on Kelly Johnson, Ian Stewart and Chase Headley.  Maybe, just maybe, I’ll be glad I missed out on those schmohawks when my Mr.

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We finish off the infield with the top 20 3rd basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball.  The top 20 2010 fantasy baseball rankings from shallowest to deepest go catchers, shortstops, third basemen, 2nd basemen then 1st basemen.  That’s right, I think the 2nd basemen are deeper than the 3rd basemen.  3rd base gets the gas face.  Last year, I punted 3rd base knowing I could get Mark Reynolds late.  This year, Stewart’s my sleeper du jour, but because of the lack of 3rd base options, he’s not even making it into the 10th round of most drafts.  That’s a bad sign.  As with other top 20 rankings, I list where I see tiers beginning and ending and my projections.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 3rd basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball:

1.

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Kick this post off with a little side note copulation.  Big Stein had it all wrong when he called Dave Winfield, Mr. May.  Jason Bay is Mr. May.  From 2005 to 2009, he’s hit 9, 12, 4, 7 and 10 homers, respectively.  Each May has been his biggest home run production month.  Even in 2007 when he hit 4 homers, it was still his biggest homer month for that year and easily his best average month at .336.  Like a drunk middle-aged man at Fantasy Fest, Bay is streaky.  But side note, um, aside, what does it mean for Jason Bay’s fantasy value now that he’s on the Mets?  We call The Mets Answer To The Stadium Adjacent To The House That Ruth Built, Metco.  In jest, partly.  Let’s face it, it’s not Petco.  Petco’s like those old-timey stadiums that had the monuments in center field.  That isn’t Kyle Blanks, that’s a Nate Colbert statue.  Metco isn’t that bad.  It’s still no cup of chamomile.  It’ll hurt Bay’s value a tad bit to go from Fenway to Metco, but his splits weren’t terrible.  He only had a few Fenway-aided homers.  Fenway did more to help his average, Runs and RBIs.  315 foot doubles can do that.  But these are quibbles.  His value isn’t going down the drain in Flushing.  Is he a 36 homer hitter?  I doubt it.  But I didn’t think he was even in Fenway.  He’s a 27-32 homer guy who has 10+ steal speed.  His average is always the iffy category.  He’s not much more than a .275 hitter without some luck.  So you’re looking at 95/30/110/.275/12 in 2010.  Anyway, here’s some more trades, signings, whatever-you-want-to-call-its and what they mean for 2010 fantasy baseball:

Mark DeRosa – Just when you think the Giants have turned the corner from giving out contracts to aging vets, along comes DeRosa.  Maybe Rich Aurilla can teach him how to go from productive to albatross.  DeRosa has flexibility with his position eligibility but other than for your 5th outfielder spot, you can do better.

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The comments were shut off on the Position Eligibility for 2010 Fantasy Baseball post because that post was just listing players and their eligibility for 2010 fantasy baseball.  Now, in this here post, we get down to business.  Or bidness, if you mispronounce business.  That business is pointing out players that gain some advantage by having more eligibility than they know what to do with.  Are you going to finish the rest of that 3rd base eligibility?

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Freddy Sanchez limped off the field with a knee injury.  Presumably, the same knee he’s been nursing since his days with Pittsburgh.  Without his services, the Giants probably would have still finished in third, but a game or two further out, so no regrets losing Alderson.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Barry Zito – 4 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners.  Baked Zito.

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