Manny Ramirez

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Best 2011 Fantasy Baseball Team

| 2011 Fantasy Baseball Draft | 68 Comments

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Okay, so it’s not the best 2011 fantasy baseball team, but, man, that title sings, right?  This is the best 2011 fantasy baseball team that I can put together when drafting from my top 100 for 2011 fantasy baseball and top 300 for 2011 fantasy baseball.  If I choose Miggy Cabrera at number one, I can’t take another player until the 24th pick, then two players, then 24 picks, then 2 players and so on until the end of the top 100.  Just like a snake draft.  It would be nice if I was in a league where someone drafted Halladay in the first round and I was able to take Longoria and Howard, but since they’re both in the first 12, according to the rules I’ve set up for myself, I can’t take them both.  Then, as we all know, once you get into the 100s, there’s wide gaps between ADP and where players are actually taken.  People tend to look at team need over value.  So for this exercise, once I get to pick #101, I’m going to pick two players every twenty picks, rather than every 24 picks.  That’s to account for the wide margin between ADP and where players are drafted.  Finally, because there is so much latitude amongst the last 100, I gave myself free reign to fill up my team.  Throughout the draft, I also gave myself the ability to reach to a lower draft pick, but not reach forward.  It should still be my ideal team… Or not.  Let’s see, shall we?  Bee tee dubya, this team is 5×5, one catcher, 5 OFs, MI, CI, 1 UT, 9 P, 3 Bench.  Anyway, here’s the best 2011 fantasy baseball team:

C:  Mike Napoli (10)

1B:  Miggy Cabrera (1)

2B:  Danny Espinosa (16)

3B:  Adrian Beltre (4)

SS: Jose Reyes (3)

MI: Eric Young Jr.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 40 Outfielders for 2011 Fantasy Baseball

| 2011 Fantasy Baseball Draft, 2011 Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 71 Comments

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After the top 20 outfielders for 2011 fantasy baseball, guess what we have here?  The top something-something’s? Cute, random italicized voice.  We have the top 40 outfielders for 2011 fantasy baseball.  That’s right, Wonderful just gave birth to Awesome.  Wanna hear something even awesomier?  I’m going to turn this to 60 then 80.  Hopefully I don’t blow my amp.  The hardest part about writing these 2011 fantasy baseball rankings posts is writing this opening.  Trying to make the clerical stuff sound less clerical, ya know?  Actually, when I point it out, it gets more clerical.  As with other rankings, where I see tiers beginning and ending are mentioned along with my projections.  Anyway, here’s the top 40 outfielders for 2011 fantasy baseball:

21.

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Grey

Arizona Calls Up Allen Who Plays With Reckless Abrandon

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 47 Comments

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I already put my feet on your coffee table while typing up my notes on the September call-up hitters and September call-up pitchers.  Oh, and I didn’t use a coaster for my forty of Colt 45.  Natch!  Not too many surprises in the call-ups.  The peasant Royals are dragging their feet on Mike Moustakas, not calling him up.  What else is new?  Carlos Carrasco was called up and got the start.  Go Indians, it’s your birthday.  I’ll get to Carrasco later on.  I’ll fill in a Mad Libs blurb for Wilson Ramos’ call up.  I’ll even go over J.P.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Grab Raburn After Reading

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 69 Comments

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Ryan Raburn isn’t just some old fashioned name that sounds like a matinee idol from the 40′s.  Grandpa, tell me again about the time you were working as an extra in Hollywood and you stole Angela Lansbury away from Ryan Raburn.  Well, it all started late one night at Musso & Frank’s.  We were all pickled pretty good on Cuba Libres, remember this was before the House Committee on Un-American Activities banned them… So, Raburn hit 2 homers yesterday and is now batting over .400 in the last week and 8 homers in the month of August.  He’s starting every day since the Tigers were hit by injuries and the power is for real.  In his last full year of ABs in the minors, he hit 20 homers.  Last year, 16 homers in 113 games.  The average could bottom out, but with 2nd base eligibility there’s no reason not to take a flier on him.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Rick Porcello – 7 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Has now given up only 4 hits in his last 14 innings.  Okay, I don’t fully trust him, his Ks are just blahtastic.  Neverthehoo!  You can’t deny the type of groove he’s in right now and he gets the Royals next time out.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

LA Turns Back On Man-Ram Like It Did To Van Damme

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 56 Comments

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The first time Manny Ramirez went on waivers was before the 2004 season when the Sawx dared any team to accept his $20MM/year contract.  No one did and he helped the Sawx win the World Series.  Now it’s the Dodgers’ turn.  Say goodbye to Mannywood?  Could be.  If no one dares take him, the McCourts will be fighting over custody of him during the divorce proceedings (You take him…No, you take him…No, you take him to Central Park and let him play on the jungle gym then, when he falls, carry him 20 blocks to the nearest ER).  Hopefully for Manny’s sake, the Patron Saint of Bad Contracts (Kenny Williams of the ChiSox) claims him.  If Manny goes to a new team, it could invigorate him like a healthy dose of estrogen.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Octavio Dotel – In the closerousel in L.A., Dotel recorded the save.  Broxton worked a perfect 8th, then Torre threw three relievers in the ninth with none of them being Kuo.  Of course not, why would Kuo be used?  He was only labeled the closer replacement while Broxton figures his shizz out.  Assuming no meltdowns, Broxton will be the closer again soon.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Manny’s On Ice Decalf

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 212 Comments

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Manny Ramirez will miss at least three weeks with a significant strain of his calf.  If he had four teats, he could be a cow.  Manny’s been dealing with this calf problem since April.  His “doctor” gave him some “fertility” medicine, but Selig and his “rules.”  Now Manny has an aggravated calf and impotency.  I hope you’re all happy.  I’d DL Manny if I owned him.  If you don’t have room, I’d just lose him.  You guys will see each other again because you love Manny.  Otherwise, I’m not sure why you owned him to begin with.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jonathan Broxton – 1/3 IP, 3 ER.  Returned to the role of closer only to get taken out mid-inning because Don Mattingly inadvertently went to the mound twice.  A mustachioed Mattingly would’ve never made that mistake.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

The Omnisore’s Dilemma

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 97 Comments

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Scott Rolen says he’s going to try to avoid the DL because of his hamstring.  Dusty said, “Too bad he can’t pitch because they don’t use their legs.  Except in soccer.”  It doesn’t sound too promising for Rolen.  Injuries are old hat for Rolen.  He makes everyone else besides Glass Chipper seem healthy.   On top of the injury, Rolen was hitting .182 in July with zero homers.  If I owned him, I’d hope he went to the DL, so I can store him on my DL while grabbing another player.  Either way, I’d start making other plans because a Rolen that’s playing injured isn’t an exciting hitter to have on your team.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Drew Stubbs – 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 18th steal to go along with his 13 homers.  He’s batting .500 over the last week and has been valuable the whole year, even with the ridiculous amount of strikeouts.  Would’ve been a good player to fingercuff.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

CarBel Gets His Cookie Puss Back In The Lineup

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 55 Comments

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Well, lookie lookie!  If it’s not Carlos Beltran really back from over a year layoff after leaving the lineup initially with what was described as a day-to-day issue.  Those sure are long days, New York Mets?  They’re like Alaska in the summer days.  Beltran returned briefly last year in September, but he’s claiming that he wasn’t 100% at that point.  He is now.  How far you can throw Beltran is how much you should believe him.  As I mentioned in the top 100 for the 2nd half when I gave him the projections of 35/12/45/.270/4, “He comes with injury risk, might not be ready to hit major league pitching and who knows if he’ll be able to steal any bases…”  And that’s me quoting me!  We’re just as likely to see Beltran reinjure himself, come out of the closet and take Claire Danes to the People’s Choice Awards as a friend.  (On a sidenote, in a meeting I went to yesterday, I held a People’s Choice Award for about 12 seconds.  I knew I was in trouble when I picked it up and said, “I’d like to thank the 16 million Guatemalans who I paid a nickel each to vote for me.  This is as much yours as it is mine, but you’re still not invited to come visit it,” and was met with silence.)  About two weeks ago, I told you to sell Beltran.  Nothing’s changed on that front.  You do what you do, I’ll do what I do and we’ll run parallel and wave to each other.  Hey!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jose Reyes – Manuel said Reyes won’t return until he’s 100% pain free.  As someone who has struggled with oblique soreness… Oh, who am I kidding, I don’t even know where it is.  I’m not sure why they don’t just DL Reyes so I can at least do the same in my fantasy leagues.  Doesn’t anyone care about fantasy?!  C’mon, I’m juggling Bartlett and Hardy in my SS spot!  I wouldn’t be surprised if we don’t see Reyes for another week to ten days.  <–optimistic

Matt Wieters – To the DL.  I have a suggestion for a new Matt Wieters Fact.  A Houston Astros fan swung a bat at a Brad Ausmus piñata and Matt Wieters fell out.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Utley’s Thumbkin Goes Wah-Wah-Wah

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 235 Comments

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Chase Utley was placed on the 15-day DL with a sprained thumb and he might need surgery.  This injury opens up a big gaping hole in his owners’ hearts that can only be filled with junk food and hardcore drugs.  Utley may not have been playing his weight in pomade, but at least you had him out there.  At night when you crawled into your Michelob-scented bedsheets, your head hit the pillow knowing that if nothing else Utley was healthy.  Looks like you’re going to have to dust off the “Sounds of the Ocean” CD you used to help you sleep when your wife left you.  Phillies will turn to Wilson Valdez, Juan Catastrophe and Brian Bocock, whose surname is bad enough without me altering it.   Hopefully your options are better.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Placido Polanco – Crapolanco also heads off to the DL.  Too bad because he was leading David Wright in All-Star votes for 3rd base.  Hold on, whaaaaa???  Oh.  Wait, what?  If his vote tally goes up while he’s on the DL, I’m gonna suggest players can’t vote for themselves.

Please, blog, may I have some more?