Yesterday, Bob Feller told a story about how he once threw 117 MPH while urinating. He went on to talk about Triscuits and where he left his teeth. When he came back around to baseball, he said no one’s throwing a 1.15 ERA, even that guy with no hair. Once again, the old Feller has forgotten more than you could ever know. To paraphrase EPMD, last night Ubaldo Jimenez had his ERA tooken. He gave up 6 earned runs in 5 and two-thirds innings. It’s no crime to be hit by the Red Sox in Coors and you had to expect the ERA was going to come up at some point. All things considered, he K’d 7 and walked no one vs.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Javier Vazquez touched you in your no-no area for two months to the point where just looking at his name made you crawl up into a ball and cry, but yesterday he flirted with a no-no for seven innings. He held the 1927 Blue Jays to only one hit, a home run by HGH Wells. (In a strange twist, Bautista didn’t homer, but he did have sex with your wife. Don’t shoot the messenger!) So can Javier Vazquez now be trusted? The better question is did anyone really think he was the 8 ERA pitcher he was showing in April and May? Come on, this is baseball. It’s a sport of aberrations from day-to-day and week-to-week and month-to-month, but, in the end, people find their level. Vazquez is more or less a 4.50 ERA pitcher in the AL. So you need some months of dreckitude surrounded by some months of usability. Vazquez is still walking too many guys and, other than him striking out 9 Blue Kays yesterday and the Suckie-O’s the game before, his Ks have been down. So usable, but don’t expect a full return of 2009 Vazquez. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Mike Stanton – He’s coming up on Tuesday. Can you hear that? It’s my heart going pitter patter. Put your ear up to the computer monitor, you’ll hear it.Please, blog, may I have some more?
This is the conundrum of fantasy baseball that leads us to the battle for the final rotation spot. These guys either have one of two options: drive around on a bus with the Savannah Sand Gnats, or float for awhile (swimming is an entirely different sport).Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tim Lincecum missed yesterday’s start vs. the Padres (there goes that 14 K start) and gave way to the Giants big-time rookie pitching prospect, Madison Bumgarner. Lincecum should be back by this weekend. A detailed Madison Bumgarner outlook can be found where it says, “Madison Bumgarner outlook.” (Yeah, still haven’t figured out how to naturally link to something. I feel like Buzz Bissinger. Bleh! What are these things you call links? Bleh!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Torii Swelling was almost the title, but with a groin injury… Well, you get the problem. So Torii Hunter got guillotined in the Sell post last week and now seems to be headed to the DL. Let them eat cake! So what to do with the blue state Hunter and his pesky groin? DL him when the Angels do. Can’t do much else now. You shouldn’t sell him for 3 pairs of socks and a Megadeth vinyl record. Hunter should return in a few weeks. Luckily, with the All-Star Break, he’ll get a few extra days to recover where he’s not missing any games. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Geovany Soto – Should’ve mentioned this the other day, but I’m only half-cyborg so sometimes I miss things. Soto’s bothered by an oblique injury (vague!). Hill should get all the starts prior to the break, then Jake “I am the Fatman” Fox could get starts at catcher after the break, if Soto needs a DL stint. Right now, it sounds like that will be in order. (Speaking of which, whenever you see a broken vending machine, walk up to it and scream, “No, you’re out of order!” People love that.)
Pedro Martinez – Sounds like he’s going to the Phillies. In his last 48 starts, he has a 4.74 ERA and that was in a pitchers’ park. On the other hand, he has been solid for Ks even as his career winds down. On the third hand, he gave up 19 homers in 109 innings last year. Oy. I would grab him in an NL-Only league to see if there’s a spark left from the midget era, but I’d hold off in mixed leagues.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Much like a newly married female, the Blue Jays have dropped BJ from the active roster. Imagine this scenario. You walk into your fro-yo distribution job, say what’s up to your TCBY manager who’s twelve years younger than you, open up the jimmies container and proceed to flip them, one at a time, at your manager’s head. Timothy asks you politely to stop. You politely give him a wedgie. Naturally, he fires you. Then you collect your salary for the next year. Man, the life of a terrible baseball player may be better than the life of a marginal one who has to play every day. B.J.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Trouble ahead, Casey Jones, if you think Matt Cain is ’08 Lincecum. I went over why this doode was faux-Cain two weeks go when I broke down FIP. Now everyone is saying to sell high on him. And by everyone, I mean ESPN. Two weeks late, guys. Went there already. Oh, and I’m not going to link to them, because, as Berry said, that’s what they want. Well, I want Berry to say I told him not to draft Nolasco and then he went and said Nolasco was in store for a great year. When Berry says, I told him so. I’ll link to them. Wait, what was I saying? Oh, yeah! Cain! So you got your lugwrench out and you’re trying to figure out how to make Cain able again. The discrepancy between where Cain is now and where he should be is scary like Carol Channing without makeup. Why? Blah blah blah Lower K rate, very high strand rate… yadda yadda yadda… I went over it two weeks ago. Open that FIP link. And, yes, I touted the beejesus out of Cain in the preseason and I own him on a few teams. And, yes, I’d actually feel better if his ERA was just in the low fours like it should be. Don’t overrate his current ERA. You know that. So everyone’s zigging as they try to sell Cain, what do you do? Zag? Do you have the alligator blood to buy him for cheap? Maybe. It’s hard to sell a guy when their player news is calling for a regression. It’s like running headlong into projectile vomit. Then again, someone will drop some Liquid Paper on his stats any day now. Now for the good news, his last time out he dropped his FIP from 4.85 to a more manageable 4.36. One more strong start and who knows maybe he can actually be a 4.00 pitcher. He’s not, I repeat, not a 2.40 ERA pitcher right now, but as long as you keep that in mind, you should be all right. So sell him if you can get a decent deal, or buy him, but know what you’re getting. Right now, people want to sell him so bad, you may actually get a decent deal for him. He’s not terrible, just not quite what he’s been showing. (BTW, CBS was touting Mark Reynolds as a buy this week. I told you to buy him in March. ESPN told you to sell Cain and Jurrjens this week. I told you that two weeks ago. If I didn’t write this shizz, I’d be reading it too. Hey, wait a minute, my ‘stache looks weird with my bigger head.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Carlos Zambrano in his own special way welcomed the Cubs new arrival, Jake Fox, with a shizzfit of epic proportions. Zambrano was ejected for bumping an ump, I especially enjoyed when the ump ejected him and he then ejected the ump. I’m out of order?Please, blog, may I have some more?