Manny Corpas

Grey

Closer Look

| Closers | 144 Comments

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Matt Capps got traded and kept his job, Rauch didn’t get traded and lost his job, Octavio Dotel got traded and lost his job, Brian Wilson didn’t get traded but is moping because his shoes are no longer shiny.  It’s the bullpens, ya’ll.  Just yesterday Lindstrom was out with a sore back that he hurt when he tried to get the A’s replacement closer in his fantasy league.  That’s a true story in opposite world.  On the top of the rankings, Wagner made himself a $12 Salad.  On the bottom of the rankings, I wanted to move Chris Perez into the Donkeycorns, but he needs more time in the role first.  He’ll be a Donkeycorn by September.  Mark my words!  But don’t mark them on your computer, that doesn’t come off.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Closer Look

| Closers | 171 Comments

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For the first time in over two years, Jonathan Papelbon is no longer a $12 Salad.  I know, call your Congressman.  Pass Prop 12.  There’s been signs for a long time that he wasn’t the same closer from 2007.  I didn’t want to move him because he seemed like the epitome of a $12 Salad.  Overpriced lettuce?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Bumerooski For Tulowristy

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 99 Comments

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In case you were on a three day bender with Michael Madsen, Troy Tulowitzki will miss up to 8 weeks with a broken wrist.  It’s old news by now, but sometimes you just wanna know what Grey has to say.  Hey, hey, hey.  Wrists are tricky things for hitters.  I wouldn’t be surprised if Tulo returns in August and doesn’t start hitting well until September.  If you own him, there’s nothing you can do but sit on him.  Not literally, unless you have his permission.  I wouldn’t trade for him, unless it’s a keeper and you’re rebuilding for next year and can get him for cheap now that he’s out.  The Rockies called up Chris Nelson, but he just looks like infielder depth while SS and 2nd base get manned by Clint Barmes and Jonathan Herrera, who sounds like a fashion designer, so if you hear someone say, “Nice glove work by Jonathan Herrera!”  You tell them it’s a knockoff.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Manny Corpas – 0 IP, 5 ER.  Corpas Christi!  The last two days this guy left my ratios looking like a Port Authority toilet.  Huston Street gets activated on Tuesday, but Tracy says he’s going to ease Street back into role.  Since I own Corpas and not Street on several teams, I’m not sure if I want Street to become the closer sooner or later.  Also, for Street owners, if Tracy doesn’t get Street back into the role in short order, he may end up injured again before recording a save.  Cust kayin’.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Closer Look

| Closers | 184 Comments

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The Brain Freezes lived up to their names last month.  With Jenks, Hoffman, Gregg, Dotel, Lidge, Funklin Morales, Qualls, Perez, Wood and Simon all putting dry ice on your fantasy baseball team and then shattering it.  No one ever said owning Brain Freezes would be easy, but does it have to be this hard?  Can’t I just Ron Popeil my Jenkses and Hoffmen and let them be?  No, of course, I can’t.  It would be too easy.  I come from the school that if a guy has a chance to earn even one save, I’ll own them.  Sometimes this yields 6 saves from Alfredo Simon, other times this yields 12 earned runs in a third of an inning from Will Ohman.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

When Mike Stanton Swings, Baseballs Get Their Wings

| Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 560 Comments

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In one article about Mike Stanton in The Miami Herald, a longtime season ticket holder, Fran, was asked if any player every matched Stanton’s sheer mollywhopping, pony sticking ability.  The gist is no.  Fran, at 85, had seen them all too.  About Randy Johnson, Fran was quoted as saying, “Wild as any turkey ever got to be.  He had that hair, and when he pitched and got sweaty, he had the nastiest head of hair you ever seen.”  Now if I worked as a reporter for The Miami Herald, I’d make sure I had at least one quote from Fran in every article.  If I could somehow find someone to match her quotey-ness, I’d say the quote was “frantastic.”  If another reporter asked me to read their piece and they lacked a Fran quote, I’d say it’s not franny enough.  Can we get a interview with Fran?  Or should I just call up any retirement home in Miami-Dade County and interview anyone I get on the phone about the Marlins prospects?  Mrs.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Nap Time For Junior

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 147 Comments

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Ken Griffey Jr. missed a pinch hitting opportunity last week because he was asleep in the clubhouse.  In related news, Grady Sizemore has been sleepwalking through his at-bats.  Maybe Griffey was pooped from his Dick’s Sporting Goods commercial.  If the end is indeed nigh for Griffey, and if nigh is the right archaic word, this could mean an extended leash for Michael Saunders.  He’s a low teen power/speed guy without much average, so the M’s would be going from yawning to yawnstipating.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brad Lidge – Stiffness in his elbow.  In Italian guy straight from Ellis Island terms, that’s notta so good.  The Phils held Contreras to pitch the ninth for the save.  Save vultures, commence vulturing.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Closer Look

| 2010 Fantasy Baseball Draft | 151 Comments

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Joe Nathan and Huston Street are gone and everyone moved up.  That’s why people like Matt Capps and Chris Perez have done little but squat on the john yet moved up the rankings.  Though I still managed to find a way to not move up Brian Fuentes.  The way we’re going there won’t be any $12 Salads by May.  Then what?  $8 Side Dishes?  Who needs roasted cauliflower with truffle oil?  Not me!  I’m happy with a baked potato.  Yes, sir!  Hmm… Maybe I shouldn’t write these right before lunch.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Smokey

The Senior Circuit Hold Center

| 2010 Fantasy Baseball Draft | 34 Comments

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This week I’ll tackle the National League (Sorry, football season never really ends for me). I know it doesn’t get better than this — let’s party till the ‘rents come home.  I don’t know what intrigues me more: relief pitching or if someone is eating ice cream and I don’t know what flavor it is.  I digress, but, nonetheless, relief pitching changes from day to day.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Closer Look

| Closers | 204 Comments

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In this month’s closer look, let’s discuss trading for closers.  Now before people think my battleship has sunk, I’m not saying to pay top dollar for closers.  But with us heading into July, it should be pretty clear how badly you need saves.  Luckily, saves are one of the categories (steals are another) where you can make up ground quickfast.  If you’re ten or more saves behind a pack of people and can gain three or more points with an additional closer or two, then you should be thinking about trading for a couple.   I’d look to trade one player from your strengths for two closers.  Think Shields for two donkey-corns.  Or a donkey-corn and a brain freeze.  It really depends on your strengths and weaknesses.  And since saves do come in bunches, if you’re finding yourself picking up plenty of ground in saves, then in August, you can trade away a closer or two for a different piece.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?