First things first: go grab Cameron Maybin; he’s just been activated from the DL and is only 41% owned in RCLs at time of writing. More on him later.

Right, now that we’ve got that out of the way, here’s some proper preambling. Unbelievably, we are somehow in mid-August. The evenings are dropping in earlier. Those cruel “back to school” ads are in full swing. And we’re staring the 11 August trade deadline in the face — for the Razzball Commenter Leagues (RCLs), anyway. If you haven’t yet dropped dead of attrition, it’s time to go for it; time to take a long, hard look at categories where you still might catch up with competitors in your leagues. This week, Dr. Easy — my partner in fantasy baseball and other crimes — and I thought we’d comb through the Razzball Season-to-Date Player Rater (STD PR) with a particular focus on the categories of runs and RBIs. I.e. (ooh! She’s trotting out the Latin!), some surprisingly high scorers in these categories, whom you might target in trades (or off the waiver wire).

The Football Razzball Commenter Leagues are now open to join. Compete against your favorite writers and other readers for free, with a chance for multiple prizes!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Let’s just go on what logic tells us.  Not Logic, the rapper, but logic the thing you’ve been chipping away at with your weed smoking.  In 2015, Billy Beane traded Drew Pomeranz to the Padres for Yonder Alonso.  At the time, we have to assume Beane wanted a slugging first baseman.  A guy that could hit 25+ homers.  Okay, so they dealt with terrible Alonso for two years, and, then, when they get what you think they had to be hoping for, they trade him for a prospect (Boog Powell) that many believe is a bench player.  Now, even if Powell pans out, you had in Alonso what you wanted already.  I’m beginning to think Beane just does trades to do trades.  If you were to hear in fifteen years that Beane was trying to make the A’s worse to get out of Oakland, would anyone be surprised?  Moneyball 2 is going to be starring Jamie Kennedy and straight-to-DVD.  Any hoo!  Alonso loses some value going to the M’s because he’ll likely platoon with Danny Valencia (hit his 13th homer on Sunday), though, I guess it could be argued this is a positive move for Alonso, because he’s hit .188 vs. lefties this year.  As for Powell, the A’s might promote and platoon him because what do they have to lose?  Or rather, what do they have to win?  If they’re lucky, Boog will bring some of his trademark ribs.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Even though I’m not really a Beatles fan I still like their music. Did I just contradict myself with that statement. Perhaps instead of the word “like” I should have used “appreciate”. I own some of their music, but usually when a Beatles song comes on when I’m shuffling, I skip to the next. Everyday I’m shuffling! And if I said I knew what channel the Beatles channel was on Sirius I’d be lying. All this be true, yet my hat’s off to The Fab Four. Peace and love!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Baseball’s parity is better than any other sport.  You can go into the season like, say, the Rockies.  No chance at all of the playoffs with no closer, no pitching, an injured offseason acquisition and be a favorite for the playoffs in July, without that offseason acquisition doing anything, not getting anything from your returning superstar shortstop and defying gravity with a pitching staff keeping a team above water even at one mile high.  Then, on July 31st, parity goes out the window and all teams doing well get much better and teams struggling sell off everything.  Speaking of “I’m rich bitch,” the Dodgers traded for Yu Darvish.  The deadline was mostly, “Well, there goes a middle reliever,” and, “Another middle reliever?  Snooze,” then, at the last moment, the Dodgers swooped in and grabbed Tony Watson and Tony Cingrani, two more middle relievers.  Just like LA to want two Tonys, like  Oscars aren’t enough.  Oh well, nothing big this year.  When, thirty-five minutes after the trading deadline, the Dodgers announced, “Psyche, fake-out, we got Darvish too.”  Los Angeles is about the best landing spot a fantasy owner could hope for Darvish.  He has a 9.7 K/9, 3.0 BB/9 and 3.81 xFIP, but was pitching in the 5th best offensive park.  Hello, NL West, Dodger Stadium and facing the Giants and Padres.  Now you see LA brewin?  Yu sexy, get me some Trojans.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Will Grey poop on?  Not this DeJong!  But, c’mon, we just have to look at Paul DeJong for one brief moment:

Dude looks like he owns a pair of Opti-Grab glasses.  Some things that sound like they’d be said to the guy in that picture:  “Um, Paul, why are you walking a lizard on a leash?”  “Paul, you shouldn’t sit three inches from the TV.”  “So, you say you’ve been frozen in that gaze for six months?  Hmm, have you tried a cup of coffee?”  “Paul, are you wearing those glasses with open eyes and are really sleeping?”  “Paul, I’m happy you got laid, but that was two months ago, can you lose the shit-eating grin?”  Seriously, I can go on all day.  “Paul, buddy, you’ve been out of the water for twenty minutes and the shark is still biting your arm.”  Okay, done now.  This week Paul DeJong had four homers and has 14 homers in 50 games.  That’s almost as goofy as his grin.  Buy him right now!  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Lately, Eric Hosmer has been living up to his nickname, Mini Joey Votto.  Hmm, that’s a bit long for a nickname.  How about Mini Joey?  Oh, I know, Embryonic Kangaroo!  That rolls off the tongue!   *Grey puts on a terrible Aussie accent* “Embryonic Kangaroo is a fair dinkum chockers!  What a ripper!  I need a sickie, a slab and a barbie on the back of the ute!  Or just watch that Toni Collete movie where she’s in the wheelchair singing ABBA.  That gets me knickers on the soddy poop schmear!”  Yesterday, the Embryonic Kangaroo went 5-for-6, 5 runs, 6 RBIs and a slam (16) and legs (5), hitting .319.  He has four homers post-ASB in 50 ABs, and seems to finally have the chockers on dinkum.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I have Michael Jackson’s autograph from his three distinct artistic periods — Jackson 5, breakout solo artist, fondler — and while they are priceless, I’m going to put them by this open window–NOOOOO!!!  Torenado!!!  I been pouring out some liquor for the fact that Arenado’s homers are gone, gone, gone.  And trying to help fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!) if their Correa is gone.  And since Arenado starting to bubble like a tub full of Calgon.  Guess it’s only right that I should help you with how much Nolan Arenado hits are gone.  Sorry, that song was on my iTunes, and felt appropriate.  If my baby boo bae, Giancarlo, wasn’t metaphorically already all over my bedsheets, Arenado would be right there.  Yesterday, he went 5-for-6, 4 runs, 7 RBIs with three homers (19, 20, 21), and the summer is here in Coors.  Yippee, you mothertruckers!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, J.D. Martinez was traded to the Diamondbacks for Dawel Lugo, Sergio Alcantara and Jose King, a package that has been described by me as a .280, 40-homer hitter for Okay, Who Cares and So What.  My visions of Yasmany Tomas returning and helping my NL-Only team went from “Hello, what’s your name, Pamela Sue?” to “No, my name is Pamela and I’m suing you for sexual harassment.”  The ol’ 180 in the pants.  Well, I’ll save the rest of my moans and/or groans for my shrink, since this is great news for Just Dong.  That should be a 90 degree turn in the pants for Just Dong owners.  Has he ever hit in Chase Field?  Doesn’t matter, he’s about to love it.  Outside of Coors and Miller, there’s no place I’d rather my player move for hitting and between-inning dips in a hot tub.  (The Coors and Miller hot tubs are gnarly, by the way.  “Did you say swell?”  “No, I said swill.”) For FAAB, I’d go aggressively after Just Dong like he was the last guy to move to the NL, even if he might not be.  He’s a 35-homer guy in Comerica.  In Chase, he could be the equivalent to a 45-homer guy over the final ten weeks.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hope all of you out in Razzballland (who doesn’t like the ol’ triple L) enjoyed the All-Star Break.  We all now know making the All-Star game an exhibition game again was a great idea. It’s just too bad they only scored three total runs. Still I’ll take the more fun baseball games and juiced baseballs; reminds me of the nineties.  This season thus far has been a throwback to those days, right?

I think what the MLB marketing department did was they looked at the last truly successful, cross cultural, baseball era and it was the steroid era, right? Admittedly people did care and pay attention when the Cubs won last year and when the Red Sox won their first but that’s World Series time, a couple weeks in October.  But baseball needs fans for 162 games and that means continuing to target casual fans.  For example, my wife. She knows about Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire but didn’t know who Mike Trout was until we went to an Angels game. She doesn’t know Bryce Harper; she does know ARod and Barry Bonds but she’s familiar with baseball enough to go because of those guys (and buy a hat and a t-shirt and a hot dog and frozen lemonade). Point being, if baseball wants that all-important demographic that really doesn’t care about baseball (but will go to games) they should stick to this…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Dodgers lefty Rich Hill gets an enticing matchup at home against the DBacks on Thursday, making him a valuable play on FanDuel. In his last three starts, Hill has been the dominant pitcher that we came to know last year, striking out 26 batters in 19 innings with just six walks and a 1.89 ERA. The Diamondbacks might seem like a scary opponent, but when they’re away from their home ballpark, they’ve got just a .299 wOBA, which ranks them 26th in the league. Furthermore, they struggle mightily against left-handed pitching, with a .289 wOBA against southpaws, as well as a 25.3% K-rate. So on the road against a lefty, the Diamondbacks are actually among the worst lineups in baseball. With Rich Hill pitching his ass off, $8,700 is an outstanding price for his upcoming outing. Just hope there’s no blisters.

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Please, blog, may I have some more?