The Big Donkey, Adam Dunn, was a big ass.  Carlos Quentin’s status is TBD even when we know the ETA which we don’t right now.  This leaves Dayan Viciedo playing.  It’s addition by the subtraction of Ozzie’s choices.  “Can Brent Lillibridge play first and third at the same time?”  Things Ozzie has recently asked his bench coach.  Viciedo was always a top Cuban raftee and, through his first four games, he has a homer, steal and is batting .538.  Maybe we shouldn’t defrost Ted Williams’ head just yet, but you don’t need Mapquest to know he’s going in the right direction.  Not to mention, I’m not even sure Mapquest still exists.  Start a viable service and Google will take you over.  I like your concept, Groupon, I will now do the exact same thing.  With Viciedo’s 3rd base eligibility, he’s worth a flyer anywhere you need a corner infidel.  That’s right, patch Dayan into your team for Golda Meir.  (If you didn’t need to Google that last line, props to you.)  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Jack Hannahan – Perennial Carson favorite hit three homers in two days this week and .420 (stoner!) in August.  Didn’t hurt that he brought his liger to the clubhouse to scare Lonnie Chisenhall.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yo, Meteorologist Grey here and I’m standing in Chesapeake Bay to show you how high the water has risen.  It’s usually up to my waist, but, as you can see, the water is now up to my shoulders.  Would I normally be standing in Chesapeake Bay if there was no hurricane?  No, this is for ratings, snitches!  That was it, that was the big news all across the world of baseball this weekend.  How there wasn’t any on the eastern seaboard.  ‘See, bored?’ is more like it.  But there was Justin Verlander winning his 20th game, and locking up the Cy Young.  His line so far 20-5/2.38/0.90/218 in 215 2/3 IP.  Those numbers are sick as in very healthy not sick as in sick.  When you have over 200 innings and more than a K per inning, you deserve the accolades, which only sounds like something you take for an upset stomach.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Jimmy Rollins – Won’t return when eligible, i.e., the Phils are coasting into the playoffs and don’t care if any of their regulars play the entire month of September.  Just a friendly reminder that you need to have back-up plans in place if your H2H team is riding Phils like Marlo Thomas.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After seeing Edwin Jackson pitch yesterday, I felt as happy as this guy on the inside.  I ran around my block yelling “Yuuuuupppp” like Dave Hester in Storage Wars.  I went to Coldstone Creamery and got a low fat sundae that had 2700 calories and I ate it (with extra jimmies)!  Yesterday, Jackson’s line was 8 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners and 13 Ks.  He’s now 2-0 with a 1.93 ERA and 20 Ks in 14 innings.  Giddy up, snitches!  Sure, like I tell my girlfriends, beware the small sample size, but I liked Jackson throughout the preseason.  Wanna see where I wrote my Edwin Jackson fantasy in sparkle dust?  Click on that link-a-ma-thingie.  Right now, Jackson is owned in 29.1% of ESPN leagues.  Even when you consider 40% of all ESPN leagues are already abandoned, it’s still too low.  BTW, if other fantasy sites tell you to pick up Edwin Jackson now, tell them to go eff themselves, Razzball told you back in January.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Lastings Milledge – White Sox designated him for assignment.  That assignment is to stop sucking.

Please, blog, may I have some more?