As always, probable pitchers are subject to change.  For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link.

Matt Moore is a bust,” fantasy expert Cocker Cockleysworth says. “He got lit up in Spring Training and his walks are way up. Great arm, bad command.”

“Now wait a second,” fantasy analyst Roger Dingleberry says. “This is the same Matt Moore who was an All-Star in 2013 and was so close to Cy Young he got himself a peep show. He went 17-4 with a 3.29 ERA and 143 Ks in 150 innings.”

And so the debate raged on all the way up through the 2014 fantasy draft, where owners got the gas face if they drafted Moore too high, while others were quite pleased to have him fall in their laps later than expected. The war of words kicked up a notch. It got heated. Someone got killed with a trident.

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FantasyRazzballFantasy Razzball is the game where the goal is to manage the worst fantasy baseball team possible. You hope to find terrible players who don’t get sent to the minors.

As in the RCL, a team’s points are multiplied by the League Competitive Index. The LCI is based on the total points of the top 8 teams per league. The overall standings can be found below. Points are credited as follows:

Hitters (AB = +2, H = -3, R = -4, HR = -6, RBI = -4, K = +2)

Pitchers (IP = -1, HR = +4, L = +8, K = -1, ER = +1.5, H+BB = +1).

You can find links to the six Fantasy Razzball leagues (along with the 64 RCLs) here.

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Matt Moore had the line of 5 IP, 8 ER, 13 baserunners, 6 Ks. But he only allowed one walk! What? Like putting frosting on a doodie cupcake? Like eating only cupcakes for three weeks, then pooping into a cupcake pan? Do you eat the cupcake ingredients separate, then let them mix in your stomach? Does it matter? Either way, Moore was crap. If you thought he was a sub-2 ERA pitcher, you were lying to yourself. Remember, it’s okay to lie to others, dangerous when you lie to yourself. Moore’s xFIP is egregious, which meant he had some regressing to do. His walks are out of control — literally. His walks right now are Jonathan Sanchez bad. Yes, that made me shudder too. If you build a pitching staff house with a bunch of Jonathan Sanchezes, it’ll be shuttered. Hopefully, Moore’s next game vs. the Royals will stall further regression and he can cut his walks (and not just when he gets rocked). If Moore can’t get it together vs. the Royals, he’ll have a tough Red Sox, Yankees, Tigers stretch to get through that might need a lengthy benching, i.e. less Moore is more or less Moore. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

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Those of you who read my prospect content know that I’m a big fan of Michael Wacha, that I’ve been touting him as a fantasy-relevant prospect since before he was drafted last June. Now that may sound like I’m tooting my own horn a bit, but I’m really not — I tout a lot of prospects, and plenty of them performed poorly upon first arrival in the bigs, making me look quite dumb. I’m looking at you, Kevin Gausman. See, stuff, pedigree, velocity… each of those variables is superseded by command at the big league level. Not many people would grade Wacha’s pure stuff on par with Gausman’s, but Gausman has struggled spotting the fastball and it’s gotten him in trouble early in his MLB career. Wacha, instead, is the one attracting all the hype, disappearing from waivers with haste. Not to discount his repertoire — he has two plus pitches and a good third one with plus potential — but his early success is mostly to do with the fact he hit his spots. Well… and also that he faced the Royals. All rookie pitchers should be so lucky to debut versus KC. Wacha goes twice this week.

As always, probable pitchers are subject to change. For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link.

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The week 8 two-start landscape is particularly cruddy. Sure, if you’ve got a Kershaw- or Miller-type two-starter you’re set; you’re awesome. Good for you. Those of us perusing the wire for our two-starters, though, are left with mostly turds. It’s really bad. We have ten dudes in the “DON’T START” tier. Our previous high in that department was six, and that week is the only other with more than three in the bottom tier. Maybe I’m just in a pessimistic mood, but I truly don’t trust the bulk of the week 8 crop. Take it easy on the two-start streaming this week.

As always, probable pitchers are subject to change. For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link.

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Today is the first day of the next month in our lives without Giancarlo Stanton. If you want, I’m holding a candlelight vigil in the garbage can behind Stanton’s house. If you come, don’t make too much noise. We aren’t technically supposed to be there. The good news about his hamstring injury is when he’s limping away from us, it’ll be a lot easier to stay exactly 501 feet away. Before he’d backpedal and it was like we were doing the lambada with 501 feet between us. The bad news is I’m writing this post with tears. Hnfcsdcnnn. That was a big, stupid tear that got away from me. Short circuit my keyboard, tears. I plead with you, so I don’t have to continue. I wonder if I can seal envelopes with these tears. That would be turning lemons into lemonade, right? Ow, I just touched my eyes, and now these lemons are burning my eyes. This is the sourest injury news ever. Make the pain go away, alcohol! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Did you realize that there was an epic breakthrough in the world of baseball analytics this week? Well, it happened! We did it! On Thursday, Ken “The Hawk” Harrelson joined Brian Kenny on MLB Network’s “MLB Now”, offering his thoughts on these newfangled sabermetrics. According to Hawk, WAR, and VORP, and OPS+, and all other products of science and reason fall short of his fresh new statistic — something he calls TWTW, or “The Will To Win”. Evidently, Hawk understands how to quantify this unmeasurable attribute, and he truly believes it is the most telling component of player evaluation. You can check out the video here, but most importantly, please make sure you apply Hawk’s lessons to your two-start browsing this week. Before you grab one of these guys off waivers, ask yourself: Is this a TWTW guy, or is this a non-TWTW guy? We only want the TWTW’s here. Choose wisely.

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So nice to see Yu. Saludos, my Darvish. Come on, let’s mingle. You know, my dear, my father used to say to me, Grey, don’t be a schnook. It’s not how Yu feel. It’s how Yu look. And you, Darvish, you look absolutely marvishlous. Cole Hamels — bleh. R.A. Dickey — eh. Yu Darvish — absolutely marvishlous! When a beautiful girl passes or when you see something you know you may never see again, what do you say? I say, oohbeekadoobie like I’m Billy Crystal impersonating Sammy Davis Jr. Nothing else can express the start Darvish had last night. Oohbeekadoobie, baby, oohbeekadoobie. That’s all I have. Sure, it’s a nonsensical word that’s origin of meaning is bupkis, but when one comes face-to-face with wonder, one is left with nothing but oohbeekadoobie. Just like Darvish pulled up just short of a perfect game, I’ll pull up short of saying he’s a number one/top ten starter off of one start in April vs. the Astros. The Astros, mind you, who are put together as a team the same way you used to put together pick up games. If you have a glove and bat, you can play for them. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Gird your loins – we’re currently navigating positions battles in each division. Today I’m talking about the AL West, which gains the Astros this year, if anyone considers them something you gain. Every other team in the division should stand to benefit from the move. Maybe I’ve already beat them into the ground, especially with my review of worst pitching staffs in 2012, but they really could have a season for the ages (of a fallen empire). Across the state, the Rangers should continue to be a powerhouse, despite Ron Washington’s “leadership.” Meanwhile, the Angels look like the terminator, although, once their non-Trout core ages a little more, maybe they’ll be merely human. Today’s empires, tomorrow’s ashes – am I right? I don’t want to say anything bad about the Mariners other than this sentence implying that I have something bad to say about them. Ah yes, and I’m required by the union of baseball writers to have a token mention of the A’s. There you go. Anyway, here’s some of the position battles to watch in the AL West:

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