Where do you hide your stash? Over the years I have used such hiding places as my original Nintendo Entertainment System (where you put the cartridge in), inside one of my Bauer ice hockey gloves (masks any odors) and in the back pocket of the pants of my homemade Cobra Kai outfit. However, the most important part about hiding your stash isn’t necessarily where you actually hide it, but instead, actually remembering where you hid it. And the key to remembering is based on your “state of mind” when you hid it. I’m pretty sure I just blew through my allotment of commas. If you’ve never spent hours searching for a stash, or stumbled upon a stash weeks later, you’re a better man than I. As for Grey, he hides his stache in plain sight, right on his face. That’s how cool he is!Please, blog, may I have some more?
On any given Wednesday or Sunday I’m peppered with comments inquiring as to when so and so will be up? Who’s the best stash of players X, Y, and Z? Should I grab so and so? Are you really as handsome and charismatic as the legend says? Did we really walk on the moon? Today I will bring answers to all these questions. Even the moon one! Why pray tell do I have all the answers? Well, because I am a fantasy baseball writer, it’s in our very nature to know everything even if it’s 100% opinion, and more than likely completely false. My job is to make a compelling argument as to why I am most righteous and you are most wrongous. Will I do any of that today? No, absolutely not. Today I will begin my first in a monthly series of updating you on the latest and greatest in minor league news and prospects developments, as well as the update of my Top 25 prospects. This time with 100% less major leaguers.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m going to be honest, I’m a little tipsy right now, I didn’t listen to Malamoney’s advice and got a little silly with my brahs at my CBS points keeper league draft. You know, the one where the kid made the video…. I’m sipping on some Cold Harbor Willow Tree IPA, a kick ass brewery down the road from mi casa. Wow this is like a giant unsolicited advertisement for things I’m not getting paid to promote. Then again, maybe….. So anyway, in my never ending quest to hold off on deep league prospect player profiles until the season starts, and in my secondary never ending quest to prepare you for any and every scenario in dynasty leagues, deep leagues, RCL’s and everything else under the sun. Today on this holiest of sunday’s – Hallelujah!!! – I bestow upon you Razzscalians, the truest of true, the purest of heat, the protectors of the fantasy baseball shield, the real shizz, that shizz that make you feel shizz, nah mean. Imma bring back hip-hop Sunday, church, and snap bracelets. Raw Imma give to ya, no trivia, raw like ROOKIES TO TARGET!!!! Say what? That’s right, I’m hitting you with the rookie players to draft and stash in those Yahoo N/A spots (shouts to Goodfold, all 6 of y’all), minors spots in fantrax/CBS, and whatever ESPN probably doesn’t have. Unless a few of these make the roster (Peraza), most of them will probably be in AAA until their service clocks tick back one sweet year of arbitration, but they will all be mixed league relevant at some point. Who knows a few might break into the top 100, I mean, last year, right?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Seems like Andre Ethier followed Natalie Portman’s advice in Garden State a little too closely when she told Braff that The Shins will change your life. Dodgers announced that Ethier would miss 10 to 14 weeks with a fractured tibia. What is that, two days after I drafted Ethier in Tout Wars? Two and a half? One and one three-quarters of a tibia later? All you can do is laugh. A high-pitched, crazed laugh like when you lose your job, then step in an empty elevator shaft. One of those real crazy laughs that you expect to hear from someone pushing a shopping cart filled with Ho-Ho boxes that have been removed of Ho-Hos and replaced with dog turds. One of those kind of laughs. Filling in for Ethier will be some combo of Scott Van Slyke, Carl Crawford, Kike Hernandez and Trayce Thompson, a group that could be summarized with: Bleh, Meh, Jewish, Girl. I removed Ethier from my top 100 outfielders and top 500. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ever get an invitation to a party you shouldn’t have been invited to? You know, like that IQ party you got invited to junior year of college, because you dated way outside your social circle, and spent 6 months with the hot girl from the rockets and brain surgery school. You had no idea how you got there, but there you were, with the future rocket scientists and Ben Carsons of America. Hopefully you wore your largest belt buckle to protect you from the brain surgeon’s steely knives, and also steered clear of any conversations involving jet propulsion, or other “rocketry”. So why am I asking you to dig through the painful cobwebbed recesses of your brain? Because I found myself in a similar position just a few short weeks ago, and was hoping to draw upon your ability to feel empathy. I know, look at me treating you like a fully developed well rounded adult. What can I say? I think highly of you. But why this long diatribe, begging for empathy? Because I somehow weaseled my way into the Couch Managers Expert Mock with some rather reputable names. People like Adam Ronis, Mike Gianella, and you know yada, yada, yada, I’m in the draft. Me!….Ralph, the Prospector, or whatever I am, so here’s my team..Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s going to be a tough act to follow for the rookies of 2016. After the “Year of the Rookie” in 2015, what can we expect from the freshman class this year? Will we have another deep class featuring numerous high impact players to fill our fantasy squads? Or will we scale back this year, and only have a few true must own froshes? Below we’ll dive into the high impact rookies to target in drafts, and keep an eye on for later season call ups. For these reasons, I’ve broken them into two tiers; those that should break camp with big league club, and those that should be high impact call ups during the season. Just for fun I’ve added top 5 lists from some of your favorite Razzball personalities to give you idea of what others besides myself are thinking. Enjoy!Please, blog, may I have some more?
What goes through J-FOH’s head when he does these ranks? I’m glad you asked. Wait… you didn’t ask? Are you sure? No? Not at all? Sheesh, thanks guys… and four girls. I’m going to be my usually contrarian self and tell you anyway. I’m looking at players from their floor to their ceilings over the next 3-5 years (and beyond). I’m looking at games played over the previous few seasons, projecting risk going forward, and predicting how they will age based on their skill set. A player whose value is heavily dependent upon speed will usually lose that speed going into the 30’s and players with power will usually keep that a little bit longer. There are always guys who defy the odds like David “I never juiced” Ortiz or Adrian Beltre. They are a special breed that should never be slept on ’til the day they retire. There is science, stats, and anecdotal B.S., and then there are “those guys”. Joey Bats and those sweet bat throws would fall into that class for me. Excuse me while I preach for a second. I love bat flips. I think they should be mandatory for any home run after the 7th, 6th for the Yankees. This is a kids game that is suppose to be fun and guys like Mad Bum need to either throw the punch or shut the front door. Any a-hole can stand there shouting with a team behind him. At least Robin Ventura had the cojones to try and fight. (I want that shirt!) Now that we have my major side track out of the way, let’s move down to some words about the list before we get to the list. Note to self, take an english class at the local adult education center next year.
Take on your favorite writers in the 2016 Razzball Commenter Leagues! Join here…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well here it is the post you’ve been hollering for in the comments since November hit. That’s right ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, cats and dogs, pastrami sandwiches and tuna melts, white wall tires and low profile tires, good guys and bad guys, curved brims hats and flat billed caps, and anyone else that reads Razzball; it’s the top 100 live from my garage in suburban Massachusetts. Ahh-huh you’re being magically whisked away to a garage, with flickering lights and an awkwardly handsome gentleman with a laptop. That’s me, and on my computer is a list, it is yours to read, berate, discuss, commit to memory, burn to keep you warm. What you do with it, is really up to you I suppose. This ranking is pretty straightforward, it lists each player, their position, and a link to their team’s minor league preview. Within each preview you’ll find that players blurb. On one final note, all of these ranks take into consideration a variety of factors including ceiling, proximity, and floor. Consider this post interactive, instead of me waxing poetic after each player explaining why I rank so and so where, I leave it to you to call me to the mat and defend my rankings. Without further ado the 2016 Top 100 Prospects for Fantasy BaseballPlease, blog, may I have some more?
If I told you this post ends our position 2016 fantasy baseball rankings, would you believe me? What if I told you it while holding your mom’s hand while calling you son, would you believe it more or less? Man, you got issues! So, yes, this is the end of our positional rankings, but I’ll be along tomorrow with a top 100 and then a top 500. That’s right, 500! Like a baller! There’s also our Steamer projections for all hitters and pitchers. All of the fantasy baseball auction values are also up for over 1500 players. There’s a ton of different formats located there too, like the 5×5 OBP rankings, 6×6 OBP rankings, 6×6 Holds and a ton more. All of my 2016 fantasy baseball rankings are there. My tiers and projections are noted in this post. Anyway, here’s the top 100 starters for 2016 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’re more than halfway through the minor league previews, and this Nationals list was the first one I really had a hard time whittling down to fifteen names. It’s not that it’s packed with studs, it’s more that there’s lots of interesting upside. You’ve got your no brainers like Lucas Giolito and Trea Turner of course, but we also saw a big breakout with Victor Robles. There seems to be a focus on speed, toolsy outfielders with good defensive skills, and up-the-middle talent. It’s all good stuff for fantasy players, and since even your great-grandmother has heard of Giolito, I find the lower levels of this system to be a lot more interesting to talk about. Don’t believe me? She has a cross-stitching of his curveball grip. Stepping away from the farm, 2016 will be the sophomore campaign of Michael Taylor, whose power and speed will probably come cheap in drafts this year. He doesn’t have to rack up that many more hits to make his average palatable as a 4th or 5th outfielder. Hey, I managed to write the whole intro without mentioning Bryce Harper! D’oh!Please, blog, may I have some more?