I love me a hot schmotato almost as much as I love me a hot Latina. [Jay’s Note: I prefer the angry Latina.] Yes, it is true, I love Latin women more than fantasy baseball, except this week, when I love me some Eddie Rosario. He’s been a warming hitter looking primed to have a break out sooner than later, and I’m betting my money on this week. I know he has nothing to do with Rosario Dawson but I’ll take any chance to look at her pics and this beautiful gif (I couldn’t put that in the article for fear Jay would of removed it). It’s crazy to think she started her career in Kids and how much of a game changer that flick was. Will Eddie R be a game changer for you this week? I like the chances for that to occur and if you keep reading I will do my best to convince you why I like him, but before I do that, one more Rosario Dawson clip for the road… okay maybe not, the Alexander clip is very NSFW, but you can look it up on your own.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I remember back to the heydays of the public service announcement that would grace the network telecasts of things like baseball games. (Sidenote: Apparently I also remember back to the days when folks would use the word heydey….and folks.)

One such PSA was on peer pressure and it would feature a couple of kids: One doing something they shouldn’t be doing and the other hesitating on whether to do the same or stand strong. Inevitably, the ne’er do well of the duo would say something influential like “Come on, do it.” and “Go ahead, try it, everybody’s doing it.”

Some people in the DFS realm might tell you not to roster two starting pitchers together in the same game. The thinking is that you’ll limit yourself in the all-important win points from the SP if both pitchers are in the same game. After all, only one may win.

But in DraftKings, that win isn’t always the carrot you need to chase when it comes to starting pitchers. A nice cash game score in DK would be around 120-130. A win is four points, which isn’t insignificant, but it’s a mere pittance compared to the overall number. On another site, you might see a win being worth four points, too, but the point total to cash will be around 40. So while a win is worth almost 10 percent of the cash line for that site, a win is worth around .03% on DraftKings. This frees you up to take on more risks with pitchers that may not win, but are in good positions to score some value for you.

One such situation is occurring tonight in Pittsburgh, where the Cincinnati Reds and the hometown Pirates are sharing a Vegas line of 6.5, with Gerrit Cole established as a significant favorite (-190). In situations like this, on a weak SP slate as it is tonight, you may want to tackle both sides of the 6.5 line.

The Pirates are 22nd against RHP this season and 24th overall over the last 14 days, both with over a 20% K rate. Mike Leake isn’t awesome, but he’s solid, especially on this slate, rocking a 3.20 SIERA, 3.1 K/BB ratio and a 54% groundball rate over the last 30 days.

Sure, Cole looks great and is worth being rostered at home with his nine Ks/9 IP, great control, a high groundball rate of his own and a 3.03 SIERA over the last five starts. But why not roster both?

Everybody’s doing it.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What is not to love about Marlon Byrd? He is one of twenty-one hitters who have 49 homeruns over the past two seasons, and is on pace this year to hit over 20 bombs again. He has been on the DL since June 2nd and just came off this past Friday. I understand the batting average is something to be concerned with, but even if that’s your issue, he is still a donkey (the flying donkey to be exact), and donkeys are useful… and they are really darn useful in fantasy baseball. You rent them like a lady-friend on a trip to Vegas, and if they bring you some winnings, you keep them around a few days to give you a place to rest your hand. Now, like our friends in Vegas, you never keep them around any longer than your trip. Byrd could be a creep-to-own, so be prepared to hold if he comes out of the gate hot. But enough about Byrd, I’ll cover him below. It’s Fathers Day today, and being that my dad introduced me to the Yardbirds, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t add some title-related links into the fold, as I know you enjoy it and I think it irks Jay.

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frazier

“Son of a female dog,” exclaimed Tim Lincecum as he reached into his pocket. “What? We’re out of weed,” asked Ron Washington in a rather concerned voice. “No man. We’re never out of weed,” replied Tim as he pulled out another joint. “I forgot to set my damn lineup again,” he continued as he lit the joint, took two hits and passed it to Wash. “Dude, with those two hits, I think you are approaching 3,000 hits,” declared Ron to Tim as he took a Chong-like inhale of the devil’s lettuce. “Me too,” remarked Alex Rodriguez, who had just stopped by Tim’s to pick up some baked goods. “Look what the cat dragged in,” said Lincecum when he saw ARod. “You want a hit,” he asked as he offered him the joint. “Nah man. I’d love to, but these idiot fans in New York are just starting to come back around. It’s amazing what a few home runs and RBIs will do for your fan base. The last thing I need to do is derail that progress,” replied Alex. “I see you forgot to set your lineup again today buddy. What’s with that? It’s like the third time this season. You’re lucky we’re not in a daily league,” he continued. “You guys are in the same league?” questioned Ron. “Yeah man,” said Tim. “That’s some bs. I asked to get in that league and you said you were full,” retorted Wash. “We were, but then Lenny Dykstra dropped out at the last minute. He said he was broke and couldn’t afford it. Magic Johnson offered to back him, but our league rules prohibit a person from paying for two teams. Alex happened to be there at the time, so he jumped in. Sorry,” explained Tim.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I need to redirect some of my anger. Strasburg has ruined a lot of that sun that’s shining in the smoggy sky. Not owning Harper has hung over me like a wet blanket that has a mixture of Rougned Odor and Marcus Semien’s last names. There’s dandelions to be picked and goofy rhymes to chant while jumping rope with a bunch of little black girls if I can just pull myself out of this fantasy funk. You know what I need? A rookie pitcher! Those have never gone wrong before, minus Velasquez, Foltynewicz, Erasmo, Taijuan, Daniel Norris, Aaron Sanchez, that one game where Syndergaard gave up like a zillion runs in less than five innings and Eduardo Rodriguez’s last game. Other than that, nothing wrong with a rookie pitcher! With that said (reversal time!), sounds like Matthew Wisler is being called up by the Braves. Here’s what Prospect Mike has said about him, “Safe and boring, but useful in fantasy. Wisler’s arsenal includes a plus fastball and a plus changeup with good control of both. The lower strikeout numbers and mid-rotation ceiling limit his overall upside, but the low risk and proximity balance it all out. Sorta of like how I balance writing for Razzball with hating Grey.” Aw, c’mon! PM nailed Wisler there. He doesn’t have huge upside or downside, due to solid control. In shallower leagues, I’d wait and see, but in deeper leagues he’s the kind of guy I’d grab immediately. Now, excuse me, I’m going to jump rope. I can read, I can dance, I have a hole in the seat of my pants! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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When looking up something with bore in it to link this title to a video, I came across the classic (to me) Clint Eastwood flick Heartbreak Ridge. Oh how I love this movie… so many classic lines that I used as a child and still use to this day. Hell, some are even good for fantasy. Let me see a show of hands, who has seen clusterf**k used on one of these pages? Oh that’s right, we are over the net and I can’t see you. I’ll take my word for it. What gunny Highway taught us besides the CF concept is how to talk to the police, how to greet an old friend, how to be a smart ass, and how to deal with fat guys in prison. Hopefully you never have to deal with the latter. You might be asking yourself, what this has to do with the creeper and the top 100 hitters, and it has everything to do with it. In the movie, he presses his credo on his men to improvise, adapt, overcome. That is what we have to do, because offensively it has been a real clusterf**k this year with so many hitters getting hurt and so many going through streaks like a hairdresser in cosmetology school. Ummm, I might have to explain that last one. When I was in junior college, I was an automotive major and right next to us were all the cosmetology classes. We mingled a lot with the ladies over there, but it was really hard to keep track with who was who, because they would always change their hair color and streaks. Anythehoo, I used to build engines and now I build rosters!

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I hope you don’t think I’m doing a BTO theme today with that title. I’m not Homer. When it comes to Canadian rock they are not my cup of tea, I’m a Guess Who fan. You know, the band where the “B” in BTO came from. The band loved in Almost Famous by Lester Bangs (played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman). Seriously, Live at the Paramount is one of my favorite live albums. From Pain Train to Sour Suite, the album hits it on lots of levels for me. Speaking of sour/sweet, I made a trade for Howie Kendrick this week by giving up Jason Grilli. Sweet! Now Howie’s got uncertain knee issue… Sour! Which leads me to my creeper pick, Justin Turner, and the opportunities that Mattingly can’t ignore. His usage patterns leave me very sour while the production of these “part-time players” is sweet! He said he doesn’t want to run Turner into the ground, unlike his bullpen, which Donny feels a need to regularly run into the ground. Yimi was such a beautiful creature of K/9. So please, take his usage with a bit of caution this week as I tell you to own him and get him in your line-up. But be careful of the sour/sweet.

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Happy Friday everyone. It’s nice being in on a Friday. Tuesday and Friday nights are usually the most jam packed nights of the DFS week with plenty of large tournaments and Friday tends to house the week’s biggest events including qualifiers aplenty. Good luck to those chasing Q’s this evening. Despite being a Friday, it’s more like a whacky Wednesday. I guess we can call it a freaky Friday. For those that don’t subscribe to the hitter-tron and stream-o-nator, first of all, I’m sorry you’re losing your league. Second of all, what is the matter with you? Thirdly, there’s some craziness going down tonight and I’ll fill you in a little and explain my sentiments. There’s something I can’t ever recall seeing with the stream-o-nator tonight and that’s not a single pitcher with over a $6.7 value. In fact, there are only 9 pitchers with any positive value tonight, which leaves 21 pitchers in the negative with three of them in the negative $30 range. Those three pitchers aren’t even starting in Coors! What does all this mean? Expect a ton of offense tonight because there’s a ton of shizz pitchers throwing. I would guess tonight might be one of those nights where you can score 150 DraftKings points and not cash. The other fun thing tonight is Giancarlo Stanton in Coors field. The superhuman crusher of baseballs checks in at a very rare $100+ value tonight. Just imagine what Giancarlo could do if he were on the Rockies. *Wavy lines* I was so excited to draft Giancarlo #1 overall this year. He hit 30 homers before the all-star break and then his hamstring tore in half, what a bummer. *Wavy lines* Yea, that sounds about right, very Tulo-esque. No matter, he’s in the hitter friendly confines tonight and will be appointment television for me. At $5,800 tonight, I’d say he’s worth every penny. I expected him to be over $6,000 to be honest. Look at us, bargain shopping like a soccer mom. Let’s take a look at some other players to roster and see if there’s any starters worth rostering this Friday.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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Let me start by saying that for once, I’m not going to complain about the Thursday slate. Weird, I know. There are only seven games today, but after messing around with the slate and pricing, I’m pretty pleased with the options tonight.

But see one of those options, can’t be called that. No, instead, we have to call him mandatory. Tournament, cash, side bet with Grandma — it doesn’t matter. It is Matt Harvey day, and while it’s lost its luster the past two times out, he’s a must for today’s slate.

Straight to the cash, homie.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 20 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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I try not to use titles of movies I haven’t seen but I’m gonna fudge on this one. Look, I tried figuring out how to work Planet Of The Apes in but hey, you try. I’m waiting…exactly, now you understand my conundrum. Look, it’s not like I don’t like ‘old movies’, per se. I mean, I watched Metropolis and loved it and that came out when Mr. Heston was just 4 years old. Let’s just say that my knowledge of movies in the 50’s and 60’s is weak at best and enjoy the topic I brought to you today. How do you like that, you damn, dirty apes! Sorry, still on the better POTA movie. Eff you, Marky Mark! Anywho, we’re talking Chris Heston. As a guy who plays in regular, season long leagues, Heston has been my go to when I need a good stream. He’s your prototypical Giants pitcher who’s not an ace and not that great on the road usually unless the matchup is right (HOUSTON HELLO!). Given the Pirates lineup, though fearsome, features mostly righties and Heston has so far neutralized them over the course of the year, his $5,300 makes him a great punt SP2 for your tourneys so you can squeeze in the sweet, sweet pep of that LAD@COL series. And if he doesn’t pan out? Well…yeah, still haven’t seen Ben-Hur, and now I’m just dipping into POTA parodies. An obvious sign we should move on. So with that, let’s get it on (but not like that). Here’s my sweltry hot takes for this Tuesday DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?