As I have gone over in the preseason, streaming against a starting pitcher is sometimes a good approach. The problem is that sometimes the blame isn’t completely on the pitcher. This isn’t Looney Tunes and Bugs Bunny isn’t playing all nine positions versus the Gas House Gorillas. So obviously I am referring to the catcher in this scenario. Streaming against a pitcher is all well and good, the bad is that they only pitch once every five days and while it’s fun to rosterbate the high hell out of it, why not take advantage of a starting catcher who usually gets five starts a week? Seems like genius and a better way to try and capitalize on a three game set versus a weak catcher oriented team at gunning down baserunners. So the handy chart below gives us an early glimpse of who we should be taking advantage of with our waiver additions in the steals category. Stay after the chart, because I drop some tidbits of grandeur.Please, blog, may I have some more?
What if we’re all living inside a Boston masshole’s dream? This is Inception, and we all fell asleep sometime after Tom Brady was drafted, but before the Patriots won their first Super Bowl. Then, due to some plantains you ate before you went to sleep, the Red Sox grabbed David Ortiz from Minnesota for nothing, and you got a kidney stone and were peeing blood but it all came out on Curt Schilling’s sock, and the Red Sox won the World Series, and then, because you fell asleep to The Apprentice, Trump became president, and now Andrew Benintendi goes 5-for-5, 1 run, 1 RBI, hitting .347. This has to be possible, doesn’t it? What if our world is like Herman’s Head, but we’re inside Prospector Ralph’s head? Is Somalia in a famine because Prospector Ralph is too worried about Rick Porcello and forgot to eat? Eat, Ralph! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We (me) have gone over the catchers, 2nd basemen, shortstops and 3rd basemen to target, cause I have to do everything around here! Look at me, throwing shade like a beach umbrella! That makes sense…if you don’t think about it! That’s what I want my bumper sticker to say, and then when I step out of my car, I want my clever t-shirt to say it too, “That makes sense….if you don’t think about it.” How can I arrange my life so this happens? I need a personal assistant. “So, it says you worked as Kanye’s assistant and you bought mirrors for nine months straight….” That’s me checking the CV of my favorite imaginary assistant. Okay, so this post is all the outfielders that are being drafted after 200 overall that I have uber-sexy feelings for. Last year, I featured Joc Pederson, Khris Davis, Wil Myers and some guy named Delino DeSomething. No idea who that is! Now, this is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Canada) supplement to the top 100 outfielders for 2017 fantasy baseball. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2017 projections. Anyway, here’s some outfielders to target for 2017 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Not wasting any time, coming at cha faster than a cheetah on speed straight out of the LBC, it’s Part Duece of the OPS Outfielder Ranks! Part One can be found here, which covered the Top three tiers. We’re starting today with Tier four.
Razzball Commenter Leagues are open! Play against our contributors and your fellow readers for prizes. Join here!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here we are, the third of four posts about the Couch Managers 2017 Industry Mock Draft. Previously, I posted recaps of rounds 1-6 and rounds 7-12. This post is for rounds 13-18. The final post will be for rounds 19-23. Complicated stuff, I know. But try to keep up.
In case you have yet to see my previous posts, here is a quick recap of the league rules for this mock:
This mock was for a 15-team, 5×5 roto, with 23 roster spots made up of 9 pitchers (9), 1 spot for each position (8), a second catcher (1), 2 more outfielders (2), one corner infielder (1), one middle infielder (1), and one utility position (1).
As I have done with the other posts, I’ll post the results below by round and will offer a few of my thoughts for each round…Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’re taking these outfielders to 120 total, so this should still be the beginning of wonderful for you, but as you look down this list, guys like Matt Kemp become more attractive and not just if you’re an R&B singer. Rap is not pop, if you call it that then stop. I’m going aggressive for guys like Kepler and Piss-hotty (sounds like watersports, right, Mr. President?), because the alternative is dank with excitement. Stephen Hawking’s hitting his keyboard robotically telling us, “It’s a black hole for outfielders, we need to spontaneously combust some new ones.” Then Stephen jots down a letter to Eddie Redmayne about a sequel to The Theory of Everything; Eddie’s got a binder of these letters. As always, my projections are noted for each player and where I see tiers starting and stopping. Anyway, here’s the top 40 outfielders for 2017 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Greetings, friends. I hopped over to the football side of things once last year’s baseball season ended, but now I’m back. And apparently, I am such a disturbed individual that I am doing fantasy baseball mock drafts in early January. And, I am writing about them. And, well, I just wanted to start another sentence with and because it feels so wrong but so right at the same time. Anyway, moving on.
I was fortunate enough to be invited to the Couch Managers 2017 Industry Mock Draft, and we’re going to recap it here. This mock was for a 15-team, 5×5 roto, with 23 roster spots made up of 9 pitchers (9), 1 spot for each position (8), a second catcher (1), 2 more outfielders (2), one corner infielder (1), one middle infielder (1), and one utility position (1). As long as I did that math correctly, that is 23 spots.
Below, I will provide the results for the first six rounds and a give my thoughts for each round. I’ll do the same for rounds 7-12, 13-18, and 19-23 in subsequent posts. I’ll try to keep it brief. All we really care about are the results here, right? Feel free to tell me how awesome or crappy you think my team is, along with what you think were the best and worst picks of the draft or the different rounds…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Josh Rutledge steps forward. A hush falls over the crowd. Delino DeShields stops obnoxiously sucking on his soda straw when he realizes the crowd has silenced. Rutledge continues, “At one time or another, we’ve all been sleepers. Some of us never reached our potential. Others have, but are still forgotten.” Rutledge taps his chest with his fist and motions towards Brad Miller. “While most of us have seen our best days pass us by without making good on being sleepers, one of us still has one year left to be a post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-post-hype sleeper.” One man stands from the crowd, but Rutledge quickly gets annoyed, “Not you, Brett Lawrie.” Lawrie shrugs and sits back down. “No, I’m talking about you.” Rutledge points into the crowd, realizing he’s not pointing at the right person, he asks, “Adam Eaton, could you move right or left?” Finally, we see Rutledge is pointing at Leonys Martin. He’s surprised to be singled out. Martin tentatively stands, “Me?” The preceding took place in The Tomb of the Forgotten Sleeper. We’ve been here before with Martin, and this, I promise, will be our last time. A’la Q-Tip, “All you bad sleepers, you must go…” So, what can we expect from Leonys Martin for 2017 fantasy baseball and what makes him a sleeper?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Imagine the Cubs decided to use Lester, Hendricks, Hammel and Lackey in the playoffs, and not Jake Arrieta. Not sure it would be the wrong move either. Arrieta isn’t just out of gas, he’s on a late-70s gas station line, cursing Jimmy Carter. He’s eaten six Chalupas and a Pintos ‘n Cheese from Taco Bell, washed it down with a 16-ounce Coke, and can’t produce any gas. He’s staying at a Marriott in Saudi Arabia where OPEC is meeting and all hotel guests get a complimentary barrel of petroleum and Arrieta can’t produce any gas. Yesterday, Arrieta went 5 IP, 7 ER and his ERA went up to 3.10. About five months ago, I said Arrieta doesn’t look right. I said it around the time of his no-hitter. That took some pants grapes. What’s funny (not funny) when you’re super early at calling something out, people write you off as cuckoo in the coconut. On April 29th, I said, “It’s hard to find a positive when you take this year’s numbers vs. last year’s (of Arrieta). Velocity is down, K-rate is down, walk rate is up, xFIP is up, luck is up, homers are up, ground balls are down and fly balls are up. It’s like looking under a Maserati’s hood and seeing a Mercedes engine. It’s not bad, but it’s not a Maserati.” And that’s me quoting me! On May 9th, I said, “Not to sound like a broken record, but his peripherals just haven’t been as good as last year thus far.” And that’s me quoting me sounding like a broken record! I continued to say more or less the same for a few months, then SUDDENLY everyone else started saying it. For 2017, I picture Arrieta being drafted a lot like Felix Hernandez in the preseason this year. People are concerned, but he’s so good, they’re still drafting Arrieta around 60th overall. Yeah, and it won’t work out either. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m OCD about my iTunes. I listen to a new album a few times, pick out some songs that I like, five star them, and then play them endlessly until I’m sick of them. My top 20 for most played is embarrassing. I like Lil Wayne more than anyone should ever admit. Sometimes I have a song on repeat, and I’ll get a phone call (rare; only old people use the phone for calling people), the doorbell will ring (less rare; Cougs orders a ton of shizz on Amazon) or I’m just called away from my desk for some reason. Then I’ll forget I have a song on repeat and I’ll go to lunch, dinner or…No, those are the only reasons I leave my fantasy cave. When I come back and see a song’s play count has been artificially boosted with me not listening, I will edit info in iTunes and reset the play count to where it was before the accidental repeat. It’s important to have a gage to tell how much you like a song. Do you like it enough to play it 200 times like, say, Aloe Blacc’s Red Velvet Seat or do you like it enough to listen to it 120 times like, say, Tom Petty Yer So Bad (actual play counts)? Why do I bring this up now? Because Rick Porcello should roll his win count back to 15. 21 wins?! C’mon! That is misrepresenting him in every conceivable way. Yesterday, Rick Porcello went 9 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 3.08, to move his record to 21-4 <–LIES! He’s pretending to be Eazy E vs. Johnny Cash (great song; play count 278) when he’s really Randy Newman’s Short People (good song, but you ain’t listening to that nonsense more than once every few months; play count 59). His ERA isn’t even accurate. It’s saying, “I’m Bon Iver’s Skinny Love (play count 175),” when it’s really You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb by Spoon (play count 96). The only thing that is sort of legit is his 0.98 WHIP, but that’s more Men At Work’s Overkill (play count 186) legit. Have a season, Rick Porcello, but you are so Rihanna’s Diamonds (play count 86) and not Martians vs. Goblins (play count 365). Also, if you want more, we talk about Rick Porcello on today’s podcast. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?