Fantasy Baseball Advice

It’s good to be past the trading deadline.  The closers that kept their job feel woobie-safe.  Pull down the Murphy bed, Qualls is here to stay! You might be right, random italicized voice.  Don’t forget, closers still find a way to lose their job.  In the past week, Downs is down, Jenks looks jenky, Frank-Frank is a baby sneeze away from another stint on the DL, I fully expect Lindstrom to get back in the closer picture within two weeks and Nathan seems about as safe as they come and yet, he’s still just a closer.  Look at the ground with your forward facing eyes and put some drops in the eyes in the back of your head.  In other words, don’t settle in.  Sleep is the cousin of death.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Joe Nathan (+1) (Matt Guerrier, Jose Mijares)
2. Jonathan Papelbon (+2) (Takashi Saito, Hideki Okajima, Manny Delcarmen)
3. Francisco Rodriguez (-1) (Pedro Feliciano, Bobby Parnell)
4. Mariano Rivera (+2) (Phil Hughes)
5. Jonathan Broxton (-4) (Ramon Troncoso, George Sherrill)

Donkey-corns

Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes his the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkey-corns.

6. Heath Bell (-1) (Luke Gregerson, Mike Adams)
7. Joakim Soria (+14) (Juan Cruz, Jamey Wright)
8. Francisco Cordero (David Weathers, Arthur Rhodes, Nick Masset)
9. Jose Valverde (+11) (Chris Sampson, Alberto Arias, LaTroy Hawkins)
10. Ryan Franklin (Jason Motte, Kyle McClellan, Dennys Reyes)
11. Huston Street (+2) (Rafael Betancourt, Matt Daley)
12. David Aardsma (Sean White, Mark Lowe)
13. Brian Wilson (Jeremy Affeldt, Bob Howry)
14. Trevor Hoffman (+9) (Todd Coffey, Mitch Stetter)
15. Kevin Gregg (Carlos Marmol)
16. Fernando Rodney (Bobby Seay, Brandon Lyon)
17. Rafael Soriano (+2) (Mike Gonzalez, Peter Moylan)
18. J.P. Howell (+4) (Dan Wheeler, Grant Balfour, Joe Nelson)
19. Brian Fuentes (-10) (Jason Bulger, Darren Oliver, Justin Speier)
20. Chad Qualls (+8) (Jon Rauch)
21. Brad Lidge (-3) (Ryan Madson)

Brain Freeze

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Troy Percival– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Pena in the head with a pickoff throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

22. Matt Capps (+4) (Jesse Chavez)
23. Kerry Wood (+2) (Chris Perez, Joe Smith)
24. Mike MacDougal (+5) (Sean Burnett, Jason Bergmann)
25. Andrew Bailey (-12) (Michael Wuertz, Brad Ziegler)
26. Frank Francisco/C.J. Wilson (-2) (Darren O’Day)
27. Bobby Jenks (-10) (Matt Thornton, Octavio Dotel, Scott Linebrink)
28. Jason Frasor (-2) (Scott Downs, Brandon League)
29. Leo Nunez (Matt Lindstrom, Kiko Calero, Dan Meyer)
30. Jim Johnson (-11) (Danys Baez, Chris Ray, Billy Ray Valentine)

Roy Oswalt pulled something in his back and is presumably headed to the DL.  The bad news here is he was supposedly a 2nd half pitcher in some people’s minds, though my mind wasn’t yet made up.  It’s a guy’s prerogative to change his mind, or just not make it up at all.  As someone who has struggled with lower back pain for most of his adult life… Oh, who am I kidding?  I’m fit as a fiddle.  I once dwarf bowled a 170.  (Of course, he helped by kicking over that 7-10 split.)  Wait, what was I saying?  Oh, yeah!  Oswalt.  Yeah, he’s off to see a back specialist, the Astros are calling up Bud Norris, hopefully related to Chuck.  Bud Norris might sound familiar to some of youse.  Why?  Cause I just said his name in the previous sentence.  Hello, Mr. Short-Term Memory.  He also may sound familiar to you because he was in last week’s Scouting the Unknown.  For those too lazy to click-through, his walk rate isn’t pretty.  I’d grab him in NL-Only leagues and take a flier on him in 12 team and deeper mixed leagues if you really need the help, but he may cause migraines.  Best case scenario is he foolz (the kids love the Z) some hitters for about a month worth of starts and racks up the strikeouts while barely making it out of the 5th inning because of a high pitch count, see also Clay/ton Buchh/shaw.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

LaTroy Hawkins – His MRI came back negative on his back so he’s heading to the DL with shingles.  Whaaat?!?  Don’t you need to check off a few things before going from an MRI to shingles?  It’s not a bulging disk… Okay, let’s check for shingles.

Randy Johnson – Torn rotator cuff.  Just be glad I didn’t go with the title, Torn Johnson.

Clay Buchholz – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 11 baserunners and tied me to the WHIPping post.  The home plate ump looked like he wouldn’t call a strike.  Put Fieldin Culbreth behind home; he’ll call a strike.  Just be glad Buchholz got out of the 5th.  Against the A’s no less.  Not a great sign.  Go after a hitter.  Pitch to contact.  Trust your stuff.  Listen to Eck, would ya?

Scott Kazmir – 7 IP, 1 ER.  Sonavabench!  I fully expect him to go out and get rocked in his next game when I start him.  Kazmir, why do you hate me?

Fred Lewis – Took a real long time, but you know who’s finally hot?  Fred Lewis.  Maybe he finally figured out why I called him a sleeper in February.

Eugenio Velez – Hit a homer yesterday.  In other news, water’s dry.

CC Sabathia/Chad Billingsley – Belch.

Tommy Everidge – Was called up to replace Barton.  His minor league numbers look promising, but he’s not available anywhere until ESPN, Y! or CBS put him into their systems.  Though he’s not really worth a pickup yet, except in AL-Only leagues.

George Sherrill – People really seem to want him and it makes sense for the Orioles to trade him away if they can get anything.  As said elsewhere by me, you don’t need a closer to finish last.  The catch, and there’s always one, Baez and Johnson haven’t looked good at all recently.  It may come down to *cover your children’s eyes if they’re reading this* a committee.  I know!  Terrible.

Matt Wieters – 4-for-5, but what about Gregg Zaun?!

Kevin Correia – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 Ks, 8 baserunners.  Perfectly acceptable game for a HodgePadre in an away game.  Unfortunately, I refuse to start him anywhere but home…

Heath Bell – Another guy that seems like he might be on the move.  And another situation that isn’t crystal clear.  Mujica’s held the 8th for the majority of the season, but he’s faltered recently.  Gregerson’s been fine, but he’s Luke Gregerson.  Mike Adams has been terrific too.  But he’s not even Luke Gregerson.  I’d hold Mujica or Gregerson, in that order.

Everth Cabrera – 3-for-4, 2 steals.  I loved EverCab when he first came up, then he did nothing for two weeks.  So I dropped him and then he did this to me (6 steals in the last week).  Yesterday in the comments, this was said by frequent commenter, Tom, “Hey remember that time you got back from church camp and destroyed all of your rebellious, edgy EverCab albums?  And remember that time 3 weeks later when you stopped dating that girl from camp, and you were really pissed that you threw them out?  Today is that day.”

Rafael Soriano – Has now given up runs in two of his last three games.  If you take nothing else away from today’s roundup, Soriano goes through stretches where he’s terrible.  You’ve been warned.

Leo Nunez – Gave up a run, Lindstrom’s due back in a week.  You’ve been warned.  Again.

Nyjer Morgan – Since I already pointed out my goof on EverCab, I’ll cop to this one too.  I bungled Nyjer.  He’s been a very decent SAGNOF source.  I even tried to trade for him in one league.  I think I was ignored.  Hey, don’t take my Garrett Jones.  It’s fine by me (please stay hot Jones, please).

Elvis Andrus – HR and steal yesterday.  No lie, in one league I literally dropped him two days ago.  Momma said there would be days like these…

Clete Thomas – I picked him up and he went 0-for-4.  I grabbed him because he’s batting third for the Tigers.  Why’s he batting third?  I don’t know.  Buy Leyland a pack of Marlboro Reds and maybe he’ll tell you.

Jhonny Peralta – This year he’s carrying the Silent H Torch for him and Khalil, and has three straight games with a homer as he bats over .400 in the last 7 games.

Scott Downs – 2/3 IP, 1 ER.  People were yelling fire in the comments yesterday that Frasor’s due to take over, they might be right.  Downs has given up runs in four of his last five games.  I wouldn’t be surprised to see Downs hit the Disgraceful List.

Chien-Ming Wang – Visited Dr. Freeze and was put on ice for the season.  Imagine Dr. Andrews misunderstood, “Something’s wrong with Wang,” as something was wrong with his wang.  Ah, the yucks a bad Farrelly brothers movie could have with that.

Brad Lidge – 1 IP, 2 ER, Save.  He’s really got the save down pat where he gives up 2 runs.  It’ll be funny in the playoffs when he loses a key game and McCarver’s like, “He’s usually so reliable.”  Joe Buck *interminable pause* then, “We’ll be back here tomorrow for game five.”

Dan Haren – 5 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners.  Now has two straight so-so starts by his 1st half of starts’ standards.  Honestly, I was pretty happy with this so-so start.  He gets the Mets in Metco next, so hopefully he can be decently so-so again.

Adam Dunn – Hit a homer out of Miller Park.  Then had his blue ox run the bases.

Mark Buehrle – 6 1/3 IP, 5 ER.  Back to life… Back to reality… and Johnny Vander Meer’s family is once again free to make plans.

Josh Fields – Being dropped from the roster for Mark Kotsay.  Fields wants a trade from the White Sox.  Maybe if you robbed a homer to seal a perfect game, you wouldn’t be getting dropped.  Think about that!

Mark Kotsay – Traded to the White Sox for Brian Anderson.  What’s the point of this trade?  Did Kenny Williams get a look at Kotsay’s wife?  This is the most irrelevant trade since Jose Lima was traded to the Kia Tigers for a bottle of kimchi.

In this month’s closer look, let’s discuss trading for closers.  Now before people think my battleship has sunk, I’m not saying to pay top dollar for closers.  But with us heading into July, it should be pretty clear how badly you need saves.  Luckily, saves are one of the categories (steals are another) where you can make up ground quickfast.  If you’re ten or more saves behind a pack of people and can gain three or more points with an additional closer or two, then you should be thinking about trading for a couple.   I’d look to trade one player from your strengths for two closers.  Think Shields for two donkey-corns.  Or a donkey-corn and a brain freeze.  It really depends on your strengths and weaknesses.  And since saves do come in bunches, if you’re finding yourself picking up plenty of ground in saves, then in August, you can trade away a closer or two for a different piece.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Jonathan Broxton (Ronald Belisario, Ramon Troncoso, Cory Wade)
2. Francisco Rodriguez (Pedro Feliciano, Bobby Parnell)
3. Joe Nathan (Matt Guerrier, Jose Mijares)
4. Jonathan Papelbon (Takashi Saito, Hideki Okajima, Manny Delcarmen)

Donkey-corns

Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes his the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkey-corns.

5. Heath Bell (Edward Mujica)
6. Mariano Rivera (+1) (Brian Bruney, Alfredo Aceves)
7. Bobby Jenks (-1) (Octavio Dotel, Matt Thornton, Scott Linebrink)
8. Francisco Cordero (David Weathers, Arthur Rhodes, Nick Masset)
9. Brian Fuentes (+2) (Darren Oliver, Justin Speier)
10. Ryan Franklin (+2) (Jason Motte, Kyle McClellan, Dennys Reyes)
11. Andrew Bailey (+16) (Brad Ziegler, Michael Wuertz, Santiago Casilla)
12. David Aardsma (+12) (Sean White, Mark Lowe, Chad Cordero)
13. Brian Wilson (+2) (Jeremy Affeldt, Bob Howry)
14. Huston Street (+6) (Joel Peralta, Manny Corpas)
15. Kevin Gregg (-1) (Carlos Marmol)
16. Fernando Rodney (+2) (Joel Zumaya, Bobby Seay)
17. George Sherrill (+5) (Jim Johnson, Danys Baez, Chris Ray)
18. Brad Lidge (-8) (Ryan Madson)
19. Mike Gonzalez (-2) (Rafael Soriano)
20. Jose Valverde (+8) (LaTroy Hawkins, Chris Sampson)
21. Joakim Soria (+4) (Juan Cruz, Jamey Wright, Kyle Farnsworth)
22. J.P. Howell (+8) (Dan Wheeler, Grant Balfour, Joe Nelson)

Brain Freeze

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Troy Percival– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Pena in the head with a pickoff throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

23. Trevor Hoffman (-1) (Carlos Villanueva, Todd Coffey, Mitch Stetter)
24. Frank Francisco (-14) (C.J. Wilson)
25. Kerry Wood (-8) (Chris Perez, Rafael Betancourt)
26. Matt Capps (-2) (John Grabow, Jesse Chavez, Sean Burnett)
27. Jason Frasor (-8) (Scott Downs, B.J. Ryan)
28. Chad Qualls (-15) (Tony Pena, Clay Zavada, Jon Rauch)
29. Mike MacDougal (Joe Beimel, Julian Tavarez)
30. Leo Nunez (-4) (Dan Meyer, Matt Lindstrom, Kiko Calero, Waco My Airplane)

Was talking to some friends the other day and one of them thought Ichiro Suzuki was the best all around player he had ever seen.  No, he wasn’t Asian or wearing a Buhner jersey.  He made his case — defense, cannon arm, can hit any pitch to any field, speed, etc.  I countered Rickey Henderson was better.  Then somehow it dissolved into how did Bud Selig let steroids ruin baseball.  But when he said Ichiro, it wasn’t a slam dunk, “We’re only on our second pitcher of Molson.  How are you already drunk?”  It was a point to consider.  I guess in fantasy baseball sometimes we forget about how great players were or are and only concern ourselves with the numbers.  Ah… Nostalgia, I remember you!  Well, the numbers say Ichiro is currently ranked 56th for Runs for all outfielders.  Behind some stalwarts as Fukudome, Teahen and Skip Schumaker.  He’s currently ranked 100th in RBIs just behind Joe Thurston.  Hey, he’s got speed though, right?  He has 12 steals.  The same as Vernon Wells.  Ichiro is terrific for average, but that’s only getting you so far.  He’s extremely valuable for average.  If you need a boost there, then by all means trade for him.  But if you’re fine on average or hurting elsewhere, I’d look to trade away Ichiro.  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Chad Gaudin – NL West starter?  Oh, Grey must own him. I do, random italicized voice.  But get a load of this, he has an over 9 K/9.  Sure, he could flipping walk Alfonso Soriano and Chris Davis on four pitches.  But so what?  He’s a 5th to 6th fantasy starter.  You’re not relying on him to anchor your staff. (But if you do find your staff is anchored.  Try Viagra.)  Right now he has a 4.04 FIP and a 5.60 ERA, so he can and should be better going forward.  He’ll do you no favors on WHIP, but even if you’re only starting him at home — go for it!

Kevin Correia – I smell a theme coming on, son.  A theme coming on.  Honestly, if Livan Hernandez pitched for the Padres, I’d probably own him in one league.  Correia has a 2.90 ERA in June, about a 8 K/9 and an under 1.00 WHIP.

Joe Blanton – What, no Josh Geer?  Blanton was a 5 K/9 coming into this year.  He’s over 8 so far this year.  Don’t wait for answers, just take your chances.  Don’t ask me why.

Everth Cabrera – SAGNOF!

Scott Hairston – Really hasn’t earned all the pub I’ve been giving him, but he’s batting third yadda yadda yadda.  Okay, now I really have to abandon the Padres theme.

Pat Burrell – Member how hot Luke Scott was a month ago?  Burrell can do the same.

Mike Cuddyer – Could get 2nd base eligibility this weekend in some leagues that only need a few starts.

Leo Nunez – Should get the majority of the saves for the ‘lins.

Dan Meyer – SAGNOF, but he might be just a quality middle reliever.  So those in Holds leagues, HAGNOF!  Actually, Holds do have a face.  And they look like Tackleberry.

LaTroy Hawkins – Valgreen’s may get traded before the deadline, so this could give Hawkins a chance to further shake his Cuddle Boy label.  I’d grab him if you have room.

Wladimir Balentien – With vampires being the zeitgeist right now, it’s only natural that Wlad the Lunchpailer would be a popular add.  Yum, a 4th outfielder and cheese sandwich.  (BTW, isn’t it odd how dated the word zeitgeist is?)

Jordan Zimmermann – You’re showing Jordan Zimmermann, the dealer’s showing John Lannan.  You win.

Homer Bailey – Picture this, Homer’s given up 3 runs, but he’s in line for the win.  You’re ecstatic.  You call your estranged Auntie Marie in Pensacola and tell her you want her at the family reunion.  Then Dusty runs Bailey out there for the sixth inning where he gives up 17 runs.  In archaic words, caveat emptor.

SELL

Grady Sizemore – With the Indians treading water in the AL Central, the smallest setback to Grady’s elbow could shut him down.  He just hit a homer and he looks to be back.  Terrific!  Last week, we said, “If you can trade him for 80 cents on the dollar (say, Alexis Rios, Granderson, Holliday, etc.), do it in a heartbeat…..Crazy that the most Grady player on the Indians might be Shin-Soo Choo.”  And that’s me quoting us!  Now don’t sell him for a can of Coke Zero and a pufferfish, no one said to do that.

Nick Blackburn – More of a hold than a Sell, but I just can’t get behind a pitcher who has 41 Ks in over 100 innings.  He could be great for the rest of the season, but I’m not buying into it.

Scott Rolen - Hitting .330 so maybe some of youse are thinking Rolen’s, um, rolling.  But he has 5 homers and 3 steals.  Who is he?  Crapolanco?  His career average is 50 points below where he is now.  Regression right ahead!

George Sherrill – But he’s practically a donkey-corn!  The Orioles may trade Sherrill and his new destination may not include saving games.

Johnny Cueto – Pimple-faced teenager runs in front of your car, “Watch out, Mister!  Johnny Cueto is falling back to earth!” You stop short and Johnny Cueto falls in front of your car.

Matt Palmer – Thud!  That was Matt Palmer falling on top of Cueto.

In this month’s closer look, let’s discuss the value of middle relievers.  I’m a big Mr. B.  Depending on the team, I have various combinations of MRs.  On one team, I have C.J. Wilson still.  (Notched a Save and a Win in a doubleheader the other day — natch!)  On another team, I’m rocking Dan Meyer.  On another, Rafael Soriano.  Besides having a guy that could take over the closing duties, middle relievers help lower your starters’ ratios.  Mark DiFelice + James Shields = 7-4/3.01/1.15/74 or Jake Peavy, 5-5/3.67/1.13/84.  That’s right, the Frankenpitcher of Jark DiShields is beating the pure breed Jake Peavy.  So how’s dem apples?  Delicious!  Now in some cases, you just can’t hold a MR.  Whether you’re besieged by injuries, need to handcuff one of your closers or need a bench hitter, sometimes it’s just not feasible.  As much as I like MRs, they are invariably the first ones I drop on my teams when I need help somewhere else.  Luckily, there’s always one available on waivers.  If it’s not Jark DiShields, you can own Kiko Garzero or C.J. Wolfson.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Jonathan Broxton (+3) (Ronald Belisario, Cory Wade)
2. Francisco Rodriguez (+2) (J.J. Putz)
3. Joe Nathan (-2) (Matt Guerrier, Jose Mijares)
4. Jonathan Papelbon (-2) (Takashi Saito, Manny Delcarmen, Hideki Okajima)

Donkey-corns

Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes his the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkey-corns.

5. Heath Bell (+3) (Greg Burke, Edward Mujica, Luke Gregerson)
6. Bobby Jenks (-1) (Octavio Dotel, Matt Thornton, Scott Linebrink)
7. Mariano Rivera (Alfredo Aceves, Brian Bruney, Damaso Marte)
8. Francisco Cordero (+3) (David Weathers, Arthur Rhodes, Nick Masset)
9. Frank Francisco (C.J. Wilson)
10. Brad Lidge (-4) (Ryan Madson)
11. Brian Fuentes (+1) (Jose Arredondo, Scot Shields)
12. Ryan Franklin (+4) (Jason Motte, Chris Perez, Kyle McClellan)
13. Chad Qualls (-3) (Jon Rauch, Tony Pena, Clay Zavada)
14. Kevin Gregg (Carlos Marmol)
15. Brian Wilson (Jeremy Affeldt, Bob Howry)
16. Kerry Wood (-3) (Jensen Lewis, Rafael Perez, Rafael Betancourt)
17. Mike Gonzalez (Rafael Soriano)
18. Fernando Rodney (Joel Zumaya, Ryan Perry, Brandon Lyon)
19. Scott Downs (+7)  (B.J. Ryan, Jason Frasor)

Brain Freeze

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Troy Percival– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Pena in the head with a pickoff throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

20. Huston Street (+2) (Manny Corpas)
21. Trevor Hoffman (Carlos Villanueva, Todd Coffey, Mark DiFelice)
22. George Sherrill (+7) (Jim Johnson, Danys, Baez, Chris Ray)
23. Matt Capps (-3) (John Grabow, Jesse Chavez, Tyler Yates)
24. David Aardsma (Brandon Morrow, Miguel Batista, Chad Cordero)
25. Joakim Soria (+3) (Juan Cruz, Jamey Wright, Kyle Farnsworth)
26. Matt Lindstrom (-7) (Leo Nunez, Kiko Calero, Dan Meyer)
27. Andrew Bailey (Brad Ziegler, Michael Wuertz, Santiago Casilla)
28. LaTroy Hawkins (-3) (Jose Valverde)
29. Joel Hanrahan (+1) (Kip Wells, Julian Tavarez)
30. J.P. Wheelfourson (-7) (Randy Choate, The Amazing Rando, Randy Jackson)