Almost two months into the 2013 Major League Baseball season and things have suddenly turned into Bizarro World from the Superman comics. Those not familiar with the term please note what the scholarly website Uncyclopedia says, “Bizarro World is a situation or setting which is weirdly inverted or opposite of expectations.” In Bizarro World, Bizarro Coke tastes like Pepsi, Bizzaro USA is Canada and Bizarro Tom Cruise is a heterosexual, black orthodox Jew.Please, blog, may I have some more?
And just like with the Wayan Brothers, the Marlins like sequels. This offseason is a sequel to 1997′s spending spree. We’ll call this one, “Don’t Be A Miser In South Florida While Drinking Your Profits In The Hood.” Mark Buehrle signed on with the Marlins for $58 million.Please, blog, may I have some more?
After seeing Edwin Jackson pitch yesterday, I felt as happy as this guy on the inside. I ran around my block yelling “Yuuuuupppp” like Dave Hester in Storage Wars. I went to Coldstone Creamery and got a low fat sundae that had 2700 calories and I ate it (with extra jimmies)!Please, blog, may I have some more?
After hours of rumors about a trade to the Yankees, Cliff Lee was traded to the Rangers. Going the other way, Justin Smoak and some prospects. We’ll get to Smoak in a bit. You know who I really feel sorry for in this whole Cliff Lee ordeal.Please, blog, may I have some more?
If there’s one guy who can’t afford to lose a foot, it’s the five-three Dustin Pedroia. As of post time, it’s not clear how long Pedroia will be out with his fractured foot. My guess is 4 to 6 weeks.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Miguel Montero is out with a torn meniscus. I can think of other cuss words that his owners may be thinking right now. A knee problem seems like a bad thing for a guy who’s supposed to be crouching for 9 innings.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I know most of you are champing/chomping at the bit for me to finish these facacta 2010 fantasy baseball rankings. Well, the pitchers are right around the corner. Some of these top 80 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball are long shots to make the club, but they might give you value if they do.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hank Blalock was called Mr. September by his manager. I think he meant it as a compliment. Last year, he hit eight homers in 95 ABs in September. This year, batting .360. In the last seven games, it’s up to .400 with 2 homers.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m sure even Kevin Gregg can’t believe he held the Cubs closer job as long as he did. After witnessing Gregg’s sixth blown save and 12th gopher ball on Monday night, Piniella went into the locker room and flipped a table, screaming at a young, non-mustachioed Willie Randolph… Oh, wait, that was The Bronx is Burning.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Tigers added Aubrey Huff to complement Jim Leyland’s puff. When the Detroit Free Press hit the streets to find out what Tigers fans thought of this trade, they were met by mixed reactions. Some fans asked for change, others shot at them.Please, blog, may I have some more?