And we have our first Disgraceful List of the season and the season hasn’t even started yet (really).  I hate to say I told you so, so (stutterer!) instead, I’ll just quote the relevant text from earlier this preseason, “(Michael Pineda) is young so there’s plenty of time to see how well he adjusts.  For now, I’m going to let someone else take the chance on him.  What it really comes down to is it’s not very difficult to find solid starters, so there’s no reason to take unnecessary risk.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Zadow!  I feel like I’ve exorcised a demon when I tell you to avoid someone and they bust.  (Oh, and Rudy told you to avoid him too at his risky pitchers post.)  It makes me feel so good.  Schadenfreude!  Can you feel my excitement?  You know those struggling artists from touristy beach towns that draw caricatures in coal?  I’m gonna hire one of them and one of those skywriting airplanes and have them draw a giant mustache in the sky above your house.  I might also have the pilot wear a burlap sack.  Why?  Cause it’s a crazy person mocking you, that makes it even worse!  Now, if you ignored our advice and drafted him, this was actually the best case scenario, because now you can DL him, before it looked like you were just gonna have to watch him in the minors while on your bench.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2012 fantasy baseball:

Andrew Bailey – Even with bad news, the Red Sox won’t accept being upstaged by the Yankees.  Bailey hurts thumb, gives fantasy owners the finger.  The injury could force him to the DL to start the season.  Oh, won’t you stay healthy Andrew Bailey, Andrew Bailey?  “Is it me or is this the news once a month for him, “Andrew Bailey has been cleared to start throwing.”  Hey, Bailey, throw already!”  That’s me quoting me from last year!  It’s same shizz different day/month/year with Bailey.  It was announced that the Sawx would turn to Aceves first if (when?) Bailey hits the DL.  Then Bobby Valentine made a wrap sandwich, because he invented them and likes to talk about that.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Boston Red Sox 2011 Minor League Review

Organizational Talent Rankings via Baseball America:

2011 (17) | 2010 (5) | 2009 (13) | 2008 (2) | 2007 (9) | 2006 (8)

2011 Affiliate Records

MLB: [90-72] AL East

AAA: [81-61] International League – Pawtucket

AA: [59-83] Eastern League – Portland

A+: [64-75] Carolina League – Salem

A: [78-62] South Atlantic League – Greenville

A(ss): [29-45] New York Penn League – Lowell

The Run Down

The Red Sox pipeline, as usual, is flush with talent.  And although its most exciting prospects (see Middlebrooks & Barnes) are probably a year away from arriving at Fenway, the system features a decent amount of MLB-ready talent.  Unfortunately for those ready to make their marks with the big club, Boston’s MLB roster doesn’t seem primed for much turnover:  The opening in right field will most certainly be filled with a free agent, and I’m thinking they’ll do the same to round out the rotation.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What a ridonkulous season from Melky Cabrera.  Most of youse didn’t even draft him and here he is in September going 4-for-5 with his 18th homer, raising his average to .303 to go along with 18 steals.  As they used to say in 14th century China, “Damn, Ming.”  The spilled coffee on the saucer that then drips onto your dress shirt is I don’t trust this guy at all for next year.  18/18/.300 becomes 12/15/.275 very fast.  Ask anyone that’s drafted The Big FraGu in the past.  And 12/15/.275 is pretty much unusable in most mixed leagues.  It’s the first guy off the team when there’s a hot pickup.  So enjoy your Melk for now, but don’t throw away the non-dairy creamer.  Hmm… That sounded better in my head.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Randy Wells -  4 1/3 IP, 5 ER.  If you’re new to the site, you probably have no idea when I say donkeycorn, cyclops with a monocle, Cust kayin’, Sparky Anklebiter or a whole array of other gibberish.  But, more importantly for this, you don’t know about my previous love affair with Randy Wells.  During my Blue Period, I drank nothing but blueberry milkshakes and talked of nothing but Randy Wells’s eventual turn around.  The same mood can also be found in some of my early Jeremy Guthrie posts.  Then Randy Wells started pitching well recently.  I grew excited.  Not in that way.  Then I thought about picking him up.  Luckily, I didn’t.  He’s the devil.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Boston Red Sox 2010 Minor League Review
Overall farm rankings via Baseball America (2010)
2010 (6) | 2009 (13) | 2008 (2) | 2007 (9) | 2006 (8) | 2005 (21) | 2004 (23)

Record of Major and Minor League Teams
MLB: [89 – 73] AL East
AAA: [66 – 78] International League – Pawtucket
AA: [70 – 71 Eastern League – Portland
A+: [73 – 65] Carolina League – Salem
A: [77 – 62] South Atlantic League – Greenville
A(ss): [24 – 50] New York – Pennsylvania League – Lowell
R: [31 – 28] Gulf League

The Run Down
Not only did the Red Sox deplete their high end talent in acquiring Adrian Gonzalez (Casey Kelly, Anthony Rizzo, and Reymond Fuentes), their 2010 number one ranked prospect (Ryan Westmoreland) had a cavernous malformation (abnormal cluster of blood vessels) in his brain causing his future in baseball to be uncertain.

Please, blog, may I have some more?