To discuss Francisco Liriano at Razzball HQ, I gathered the Random Italicized Voice, MR. AL CAPS and Larry King.  After eating me out of house and home — “The selection was pretty meager.  Freezer pops, really?” “NOT A THING TO DRINK,” “Anyone see where I put down my teeth?” –  we talked about Liriano.  He started off in the preseason in my top 10 starters for 2011.  “That call looks as pretty as Rocky Dennis.

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David Wright has a stress fracture in his lower back.  It’s the new Mets, same as the old Mess!  I find it hard to believe this is still The Curse of the Shirtless Bernazard, but who else is evil eyeing them?  George Foster?  (BTW, If George Foster ever evil eyed you for longer than 5 seconds, you’d turn to stone.  Fact!)  The Mets are downplaying Wright’s injury, but what else is new with the Mets?  Let’s look at their truthiness in some recent reports:  In 2009, “Reyes will be out for a few days.”  In reality, he’s only fully recovered two years later.  In 2009, “Beltran will be out for three to five days.”  In reality, he missed two seasons.  “K-Rod and his stepfather, an up and coming videographer, were remaking the “Beat It” video.”  In reality, K-Rod blew Kabuki white powder into his stepfather’s face and hit him over the head with a metal chair.  So the Mets are saying Wright might miss only a week and a half to two weeks.  Um, okay.  Even if he returns quickly, a stress fracture in his lower back isn’t going to hurt his power?  Yeah, that’s rhetorical.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jose Reyes – 2-for-5, 2 steals.  Now has 16 steals on the year.  How do you motivate overpaid athletes?  With the allure of being vastly overpaid.

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Around 7 AM on Sunday morning, my smoke detector started beeping every few minutes.  Hungover, I rolled out of bed.  I figured the battery was low, so I removed it and went back to sleep.  An hour later, it started beeping again.  So I removed the smoke detector from the wall and it stopped beeping.  Then at 3 AM Monday night, it started beeping again.  I pulled out my ladder and, like I was defusing a bomb but not caring if it blew up, I indiscriminately cut all the wires from the smoke detector and went back to sleep.  About 5 hours later, it started beeping again.  I pulled a hammer from my tool box and began smashing the smoke detector.  Then I went into my office and did the same to that smoke detector just to make sure.  Then I removed the one from my bedroom and did the same.  No more beeping….

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Evan Longoria is out 3 weeks with an oblique injury.  He’s not to pick up a bat, ball or AK-47.  Looks like the oblique is still the number one injury that no one has any clue about.  Intercostal injury twirls its Snidely Whiplash mustache and plots its revenge.  For those who lost Holliday and Longoria this weekend, I’m pouring some Mad Dog out for you.  BTW, I was just thinking something… CAN WE FIGURE OUT WHAT THE DEAL IS WITH THE OBLIQUE AND HOW TO PREVENT THESE INJURIES?  Seriously, modern medicine step up your game!  There’s gotta be something that we can do.  Have we tried to apply dolphin tears to the sore area?  If I were on Celebrity Apprentice, I’d be playing for a cure for oblique injuries.  This injury should guarantee everyday ABs for Sean Rodriguez.  Great, that eases my pain.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Matt Holliday – Out up to a month for an appendectomy?  Isn’t this an outpatient procedure?  My friend in high school had out his appendix then funneled a forty of Old E to ease the soreness.  Granted, he was mental and is now in prison, but c’mon… Buck up, players!  I own some of you in fantasy.  Having a similar procedure last year, Andres Torres returned after 11 days.  Corey Hart took 4 weeks, but he’s Amish.  I think Holliday will be out 3 weeks.  It’s too early in the season for them to rush him back.  The Federalist, Jon Jay should see most of the time in his stead.  Allen Craig will see the occasional ABs though, so in most leagues I wouldn’t add either.

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Straight from Rudy’s risky pitcher post, “Sliders are the most effective pitch one can throw but are worse on the arm than fastballs/changeups.  Pitchers who rely on sliders (15+% of pitchers) take this risk if they feel it’s the only way to reach their expected level of success.  Young pitchers relying heavily on sliders for success are more akin to a kid on his tippy-toes trying to make it on a ride – they can only keep it up so much before they fall below that line or get hurt trying.”  Following that line of thought, Brandon Morrow was thrown from the big boy ride and will start the season on the DL because he threw sliders with reckless a-Brandon.  The Jays are going to backdate Morrow’s DL stint so he’ll only miss one start.  Yeah, and I’d like to backdate my fantasy draft where I took Morrow, but that ain’t happening either.  If Morrow only misses one start all year, call me Mr.

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Toronto Blue Jays 2010 Minor League Review
Overall farm ranking via Baseball America (2010)
2010 (28) | 2009 (19) | 2008 (25) | 2007 (25) | 2006 (25) | 2005 (15) | 2004 (8)

Record of Major and Minor League Team(s)
MLB: [85 – 77] AL East
AAA: [66 – 78] Pacific Coast League – Las Vegas
AA: [79 – 62] Eastern League – New Hampshire
A+: [72 – 67] Florida League – Dunedin
A: [70 – 69] Midwest League – Lansing
A(ss): [35 – 40] New York – Pennsylvania League – Auburn
R: [31-28] Gulf Coast League

The Run Down
My Blue Jays 2009 Minor League Review said, “[The] Blue Jays may be better than expected [in 2010].

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So far in this month of September, Troy Tulowitzki has 11 homers and 27 RBIs.  This is Hungrybear9562 owning Tulo in a H2H league this month — It’s a DOUBLE HOME RUN!  All the way across the sky!  OH.  MY.  GOD.  A double home run.  Wait, is this a triple home run?  No, it’s a double home run.  It’s beautiful.  *cries*  The only thing ever holding Tulo back is health.  If Tulo can stay healthy for an entire year… Well, look at his 2009 stats — 32 homers, 20 steals and a .297 average.  Next year, he’ll only be 26-years-old and hitters tend not to peak until the age of 27.  Yum with a double shot of gimme.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Eric Young Jr.

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Kyle Drabek, the Blue Jays top pitching prospect, was called up to start on Wednesday vs. the O’s.  Kyle Drabek is 24th on the top 50 prospects for fantasy baseball.  He has top of the rotation stuff and a good pedigree with his dad being the former Cy Young winner, Doug.  Or Guod if you’re dyslexic.  Or “Hey, look a bird,” if you have ADHD.  Well… Kyle Drabek had top of the rotation stuff.  Now he looks closer to a number 2 or 3.  His strikeout rate went from 10+ K/9 in A to 7+ in Double-A.  Word on the street is his velocity is down.  He’s obviously too young to write off.  Velocity could return with the gaudy Ks.  In keepers, I’d grab him in AL-Only, obviously.  In mixed league keepers, it needs to be deep for him to have any real value.  For this year, I’d be very cautious about starting him anywhere.  In his first two starts, he gets the M’s and O’s, or the Mo’s.  Not bad matchups, but starting rookie pitchers in the final weeks of the season is asking for trouble.  You just have no idea what he’s going to do in his cup of coffee, he may or may not get creamed.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Adam Lind – 1-for-2 with 22nd homer.  I’m sorry, I will like him again next year.  I’ll love him if he can train with the guy who trained Zobrist in the winter of 2009 and Bautista last winter.

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Toronto Blue Jays 2009 Minor League Review
Overall farm ranking via Baseball America (2009)
2009 (19) | 2008 (25) | 2007 (25) | 2006 (25) | 2005 (15) | 2004 (8)

Record of Major and Minor League Team(s)
MLB: [75 – 87] AL East
AAA: [71 – 73] Pacific Coast League
AA: [64 – 78] Eastern League
A+: [67 – 67] Florida League
A: [54 – 84] Midwest League
A(ss): [29 – 49] New York – Pennsylvania League
R: [30-28] Gulf League

The Run Down
The recent trade of Roy Halladay has made this piece a bit more interesting.

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