Brian Duensing went seven innings with no earned runs, 11 baserunners and 6 Ks.  I almost started him, but he was going vs. the A’s and they’ve hurt me so many times this year.  I think I owned the losing pitcher for every one of their wins.  The rest of the way, Duensing gets the Tigers twice and the Royals once.  Not terrible starts.  The Tigers hitting isn’t as good as their record and the Royals, well, ya know.  Duensing probably won’t provide you with a ton of Ks, but he has solid control and a last name that sounds like an Indonesian prison.  (BTW, his last name may only sound like that because of my new favorite TV show, Locked Up Abroad.  Next time I go abroad, I’m not even going to mule in any exotic fruit.  BTW II, instead of mule, shouldn’t they call these smugglers jackasses?  I apologize to any of our drug dealing readers.  You know who you are.)  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

B.J.

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Carlos Pena is out for the remainder of the season according to the St. Petersburg Times.  My question is, why is a Russian newspaper reporting this?  Guess my over under of 41 homers for Pena is gonna end just under at 39.  One of these years, he’s going to have one of those lucky seasons and hit for .280 and everyone… My brain just tapped me on my shoulder and reminded me Pena had one of those seasons, it was in 2007.  Oh, brain.  What would I ever do without you?  So now that Pena’s done, you’re going to need to grab some power — try Drew Stubbs — he’s out of his flippin’ mind.  I keed.  I’d try Andy Marte, Casey McGehee, Carlos Guillen, Mora or Juan Uribe, in that order.  Marte will kill you on average though, so he’ll fit perfectly into Pena’s vacated spot.  And, yes, I just sorta-kinda recommended Juan Uribe.  No diggity!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Clayton Kershaw – Will miss a start with a bruised shoulder.  Probably could’ve went if the Dodgers needed him to.  Get used to news like this.  Pitchers will be contracting all sorts of minor ailments in the last few weeks to miss starts as clubs try to keep their innings in check.

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How about them White Sox?!  Yeah, they chucked in the pale towel sometime between Ozzie Guillen’s Monday outburst and Ozzie Guillen’s Tuesday outburst of this week.  One of the pieces them grabbed that was hailed by many as being a stroke of genius was Jake Peavy.  Yeah, the Padres actually made a good trade there as Peavy struggles with an elbow injury.  Another piece, Alex Rios.  I think even Jessica Shaw would concur Rios is so fifteen minutes ago.

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Chris Davis has 42 Ks in 88 ABs.  That’s a pace of about 300 Ks.  Not sure he gets there, but Mark Reynolds should be worried about his strikeout record.  Back when I called Chris Davis a poor man’s Mark Reynolds, everyone and there’s Momma’s boyfriend wanted some Davis action.  Back in June of 2008, when Davis was called up, I said, “(It) doesn’t mean he will strikeout 250 times and hit 50 HRs, but it gives you a bit of an idea of what kind of player he is.”  Actually, he may strikeout 250 times.  And that’s me quoting me linking to me and correcting me!  I’m not saying any of this to push people to trade him away, but I think a lot of people thought they were getting a .300 hitter in Davis.  He’s not.  Average is a bit of a fluky thing, but, with the way Davis is striking out, he’s looking like a .240-.250 hitter.  I still think as the weather heats up the homers will be flying, but check your expectations.  Anyway, here’s what we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Grady Sizemore – Sizemore got caught stealing for the 4th time yesterday in 9 tries.  Last year he only was caught 5 times out of 44 tries.  Grady hasn’t had this much trouble getting to 2nd base since he was a sophomore in high school and was still being ridiculed as Gravy Friesmore.

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Greetings, fantasy baseball friends.  Jersey Joe, a new columnist, here with the low-down on the AL starters who will climb the hill twice this week (Monday-Sunday).  Always remember that predicting pitching performance is like predicting the weather, but that said, here are my thoughts for the week…

RANKINGS

1.  Zack Greinke (KC) – CHW (Colon), @LAA (Loux)
My $.02:  He’s the AL shizz right now at the SP spot, no doubt.  Don’t need to check any matchups, opponent OPS, etc.  Start him until further notice.

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In yesterday’s game, Matt Kemp had 2 HRs and 5 RBIs. On the season, he’s batting .383 with 3 HRs, 14 RBIs, 12 Runs and 4 steals.  The 7th spot in the order is killing his value like Daniel Craig killed the Bond series.  Kemp’s a solid choice for NL MVP and I could see him moving to the 1st round next year for fantasy baseball drafts.  He said in the preseason that he wanted to go 40/40.  Can he actually do it?  Like Chris Young, it’s a tall order.  You don’t fall into 40/40 and, in Chavez Ravine, it’s not going to be easy for the 40 homers.  But the fact he wants to steal 40 bases is telling.  Steals are partially about motivation.  Sometimes guys just don’t want to steal (see Krispie Young in ’08).  Other times, players pile steals on to show they can (Canseco’s 40/40 year).  I doubt Kemp reaches 40 homers, but 30/30 with a .300 average isn’t crackers.  We shall call him Sizemoremore.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Glen Perkins – 8 IP, 1 ER.  You’re talking about a pitching who had a 4.41 ERA last year, but a FIP (Fielding Independent Pitching) rate of 5.14.  That’s pretty bad.  Okay, I’m being generous.  That’s awful.  Yes, he was lucky to only have an ERA of 4.41.  His MOLLY (Mitigating Of Lousy Loathsome Yuck) was 7.  That means he got pretty lucky.  So far this year his MOLLY is 9.9.  His BABIP has been insanely lucky so far, his fly balls are all over the place yet falling into fielders’ gloves.  He’s due for a regression.  If you own him, you’re bound to get Mollywopped.

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Robinson Cano? Please tell me you’re not going to suggest we buy into Robinson Cano? Please, Grey, I was beginning to find you halfway intelligent. Sorry, random italicized voice, I’m a glutton for punishment.  Someone has a terrific season the previous year (Pedroia) and I pull back.  A player craps the bed in the previous season (Robinson Cano) and I get excited about them.

Please, blog, may I have some more?