Let Kate Upton know that Philip Humber is now allowed entrance into the Perfect Club as he retired 27 straight Mariners (here’s a tip: don’t get too close to Dallas Braden in the sauna). That’s only the 21st perfect game in history – surprisingly, as you would’ve thought at least that many pitchers would have thrown perfect games against the Mariners last year.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Asdrubal Cabrera strains his back, and, no “Asdrubal Strains Back” is not a sequel to a sci-fi porn movie. At this time of the year, any little thing can knock people for the remainder of the year. To help you picture what I’m saying, imagine this is April and we’re talking about Morneau.Please, blog, may I have some more?
David Ortiz must not have fed the meter yesterday because he was fitted with a boot. Southie police officer, “You ahr naht above the lah! Now sign my badge for my boy, Tommy.” Turns out Big Papi has right heel bursitis, which is a fancy word that eHow has seven useless articles about that is essentially inflammation.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jason Heyward sat again yesterday in favor of Jose Constanza. I don’t want to shout fire in the theater of Razzball, but this isn’t good. Constanza is making Heyward look like the best seller at the jerk store. Actually, Heyward was kinda doing it to himself.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ed Wade’s Toupee has made it clear that he’s trying to move Hunter Pence in a trade. Why would the Astros want to hold onto their best player? He just gives his fans false hope. False hope is worst than no hope.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Collin Cowgill sounds like a Texas radio personality or a DC Comic character, but is actually the Diamondbacks’ fifth round pick from 2008 that is killing the minor leagues. (That’s the urbandictionary killing, which is actually good. I’m hip, snitches!) In 97 games, 13 homers and 29 steals with a .354 average.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jeff Niemann has always been a sell in your eyes. The light, the heat… Your eyes. The low K-rate, the walks… Your eyes. The luck with homers per fly balls, the tough division… Your eyes. So why am I saying Niemann’s a buy?Please, blog, may I have some more?
They tore down the Lebron ‘Witness’ billboards in Cleveland. If only they waited a year, they could’ve changed them to Kipnis. And pasted it in Kipnis’s face. And, um, covered up Lebron’s body, replaced the basketball with a baseball….okay, scratch all that.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’ve ignored the Padres number 11 ranked prospect long enough, Jedd Gyorko (3B). Do keep in mind he’s playing in the California League (High-A), yet his numbers are still impressive. In 332 at-bats, he is slashing .367/.433/.642 with 53 XBH (18 Hr, 35 2B), 11 steals and a 60:38 K:BB ratio.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2011 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team.Please, blog, may I have some more?