Fantasy Baseball Advice

In the doubleheader, Nate Schierholtz went 6-for-10 with a homer, 2 runs, 3 RBIs, steal and back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-etc. starts from Bochy, go ahead with your big head self!  “This is the year Schierholtz breaks out!  And fill up my Merlot!”  That’s every Giants fan for the last three years.  Then within a few weeks, he’s usually hurt.  If Schierholtz is indeed German for pantyhose, he sure gets rips in them quickly.  Maybe he should bathe in clear nail polish.  (See, ladies, Grey doesn’t forget about you.)  Schierholtz has power, he just needs to stay healthy.  For now, I’d pick him up in all leagues.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Tim Lincecum – Good news:  5 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks.  Bad news: 4 hits, 5 walks, 108 pitches.  Reminds me of my stat lines when playing backyard Wiffle Ball.  Maybe Timmy needs to throw to a Pitchback instead of a Posey.

Mike Gonzalez – Boras said Gonzalez is expected to sign with a club in the next ten days.  Boras better get a deal fast before the terrible closer bubble bursts.

Lorenzo Cain – Expected to come off the DL on Friday.  Make room in your fantasy cupboard for Cain…Sugar!

Josh Donaldson – After starting the year on a sub-.100 anti-tear, the A’s brushed him aside like the ABC makeup lady used to do to his grandfather’s hair.  He will be sorely missed by opposing pitchers, Fantasy Razzball managers, and frustrated owners in 2-catcher leagues who hoped he could outperform the Barajii of the league.

Adrian Beltre – Should return soon as the MRI showed his leg was normal.  Right above the foot and below the hip.

Francisco Liriano – Twins will skip his next start.  Guess that’s easier and more legal than getting John McDonald to drop a knee on his head.

Josh Willingham – Out until Friday on maternity leave.  A lesson in the birds and the bees brought to you by Grey Albright:  Nine months ago there was a Drillingham with a throbbing lardon, asking to porker and now there’s a baby back.

Derek Holland – 6 IP, 7 ER, 13 baserunners, 1 K.  An embarrassment to pitchers and mustaches everywhere.

Josh Hamilton – 1-for-4 with his 8th homer as everyone who didn’t draft Hamilton continues to have their balloon Burrst.

Hunter Pence – Missed yesterday with a sore shoulder.  Chase Utley scoffed and raised him a sore everything.

Michael Bowden – The key piece in the Byrd trade is headed to the bullpen as predicted here first after reading it elsewhere.  He was a top pitching prospect once, but had a pedestrian K-rate as a starter in AAA so they turned him into a closer where he showed some signs of dominance (10+ K/9).  Nothing to see right now, but, if he has some early success and Marmol is traded (as I think he will be), Bowden could be saving games by the end of the year.

Cody Ross – 2 HRs yesterday and another one on Saturday (his last game).  Hot schmotato!

Daniel Bard – Shut the door yesterday in the 8th inning, but Bobby Valentine said that there’s no “great temptation” to have Bard stay in the bullpen.  In related news, Valentine is going for psychological testing.

Jake Peavy – 9 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Now has an ERA of 1.88.  I told you to draft him in the preseason, I drafted him in the preseason and then I dropped him.  Why do you make me rue?  I don’t wish to rue.  I’m fine with no ruing.  I’m stirring butter and flour in my soul!

Alex Rios – 3-for-5, hitting .360 on the season and hitting about .500 over the last week.  Cust kayin’.

Dontrelle Willis – The O’s confirmed that they signed Willis.  This was hilarious to me.  I imagine the O’s front office said, “Dah!  Yes, we signed Willis.  Stop mocking us!”

Chris Capuano – 7 IP, 1 ER, 10 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Is it the Year of the Cap?  Not probably, no.  But he could have end of the rotation appeal in mixed leagues and be one of those guys that’s cheap in NL-Only leagues that can really help you.

Michael Pineda – Headed for an MRI on Tuesday.  Here’s the Cliff Notes of a book I wrote (besides this one).  The name of this other book, “Signs of Trouble for Your Fantasy Starter.”  Chapter One:  If your starter is shut down and almost a month later they need an MRI, it’s not good.

CC Sabathia – 8 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 8 Ks as he has an ERA of 5.27. Without looking at our Player Rater, I’m guessing his FIP is much lower.

Derek Jeter – 4-for-5, 2 runs, 1 RBI, batting .411.  So is he an Early Bird Special or a (Fill-in blank for term of older player who has a renaissance year.  Regarding that term that I asked for with Beltran last week.  I liked Ponce De Leon-g Balls, Hologram Tupac and Dead Cat Bounce, but Rudy nixed them.)?

Dillon Gee – 6 2/3 IP, 7 ER.  He alternated good start/bad start last year and he’s continuing this trend.  It’s pretty uncanny.  It’s like his job is to rope in and frustrate streamers and he takes his job very seriously.

Jason Bay – Left yesterday’s game with bruised ribs, which is nowhere near as delicious as braised ribs.

Hideki Matsui – Rumored to be signing a minor league deal with the Rays.  The Rays hope he still has a little left in the tank if they need a lefty DH.  Matsui just wants a job and heard good things about their potato chips.

Brandon Morrow – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Can we get Scooby on the Case of Morrow’s Missing Ks?  He only had 2 starts all last year of 3 Ks or less and he’s already had 3 starts this year like that and his other start was a 4 K effort.  His velocity didn’t look bad last night, but I’m starting to get concerned.  A guy who walks as many as he does (though he didn’t yesterday), isn’t very cute without Ks.

Krispie Young – Won’t return when his DL stint is up in 15 days.  With a ligament tear in his shoulder?  Really?  Here I thought a ligament tear was a good thing.  Just when you think you got the world figured out.  Wow.  File that in the surpriseapedia.

Wade Miley – 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 7 Ks vs. the Phillies (Just think, Phils fans, in another 25 years your team will be good again, not like the Red Sox who have to wait 80 years.), and Bauer’s call-up just took two steps back with this Miley effort.  The key word with Miley is serviceable.  That makes for good real world pitching and only matchups appeal in fantasy.

Justin Upton – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs as he hit his first homer.  Formally document it:  In the nick of time, Justin.

Eric Hosmer – 1-for-4 with his 2nd homer in 3 games and 4th on the year.  He’s still hitting .203, but I bet he’s about to go on a tear and be hitting near .260 by this time next week.  Get it, Hosmer, get it!

Tony Campana – 1-for-1 with 2 steals.  He stole 2nd base so fast that he actually overran it, ran all the way around the globe, causing time to rewind, and allowing him to steal 2nd again.

Jason Motte – 2/3 IP, 2 ER and the blown save.  What a follower!  Ooh, all the cool closers are blowing games so he figured he would too.

Bill Hall – Signing a deal with the Orioles to replace Josh Bell on the Triple-A roster.  Bell to Hall?  This is a big score for the equipment manager.

First off, the Master Standings should be up next week, so it’s time to quit fooling around. You don’t want to be trailing a Yahoo! expert, do you? Secondly, isn’t it frustrating when your top pick struggles early?

According to the Razzball Player Rater, of the 20 players we selected at least once in round 1, only Matt Kemp (Congrats Boesch Hog, Blue Heaven, 7 Js and 2 Jeys, and AZ Kush Mafia for making Matt the first overall selection!) and Roy Halladay have put up 1st round numbers. Justin Verlander (16) and Hanley Ramirez (20) are close enough, but where’s everbody else? Miguel Cabrera (93), Adrian Gonzalez (132), Joey Votto (137), and Albert Pujols (346) are all under-performing badly. How about Ryan Braun (272) and Jose Bautista (292)? Oh, well, it’s early. Don’t panic. They’ll start hitting eventually. And, of course, there are always other players who are outperforming their draft position to keep you competitive. Like Josh Hamilton (2, ADP: 35) and Krispie Young (6, ADP: 95.)

Expert League: As was expected, some of the experts have other leagues they are more worried about, so their teams here are neglected. Worst is Team Emack (Eric Mack), whose only moves came on April 1, when Michael Pineda was placed on the DL and Chipper Jones added. 3 minutes later came his final move, replacing Chipper with Bryce Harper. Currently the team features 8 injured players, including 6 in the starting lineup. Rudy and Grey are following different strategies, as Grey leads the league with 29 moves, while Rudy is giving his drafted players a chance to prove themselves, having added just 3 players. Mastersball Carey (Ryan Carey) is setting the pace with 99 points, followed by Secret Treasure Loaf (Andy Behrens) at 79.5.

Trades: A busy week, with 18 trades consummated. That includes one in the ECFBL where the Silver Bullet Bandits and Copales Charros undid an earlier trade when one of the traded players, Brett Gardner, was injured. Copales Charros also traded Matt Holliday to Uncle Robbies Daffiness Boys for Felix Hernandez. There were some surprising trades for saves. In Ones are GOOD right, NYC Matthole traded Drew Stubbs to Unlucky Llamas for Fernando Rodney. Army of Llamas sent Matt Wieters to Bushwood Varmint Cong for Grant Balfour in the Epic Beardmen Division. Probably the biggest name traded was Roy Halladay, in RCL 22, who was sent by Manitoba Manwhores with Coco Crisp to FWG Herders for James Shields and Mariano Rivera. You can find all the trades in the fantasy baseball forums.

League Leaders

Broth’s  Baseball Stars (Fausto or Roberto?) was the top hitting team this week. They hit .360 with 17 home runs and 72 RBI, 50 runs, and 6 steals. Matt Kemp was their 5th best hitter! Ahead of him were Freddie Freeman (.478/14 RBI), Josh Hamilton (.462/11 RBI), Mike Napoli (.440/10 RBI), and Derek Jeter (.407/6 RBI).

Average: .360 (Broth’s  Baseball Stars – Fausto or Roberto?)

Runs: 58 (Army Of Llamas – Epic Beardmen Division)

HR: 20 (AZ Kush Mafia – RCL 29)

RBI: 72 (Broth’s  Baseball Stars – Fausto or Roberto?)

SB: 17 (Team Everett – Beef SAGNOF!)

CROP DUSTIN (RCL 46) had some top pitching numbers with 5 wins, 6 saves, and an ERA of 1.11 and 0.99 WHIP. Their lineup features Clayton Kershaw (9 K/0.00/0.71), Matt Cain (0.00/0.33), and Brandon Beachy (0.00/0.68).

Ks: 97 (Navin Johnson’s Puke Diamomds – Magnificent Mustachioed Men)

Wins: 11 (Navin Johnson’s Puke Diamomds – Magnificent Mustachioed Men)

Saves: 12 (Baltimore Scorioles – RCL 20)

ERA: 1.05 (Dixie Rebels    - Fantasy Master Lotharios)

WHIP: 0.69 (Poorjays – Beef SAGNOF!)

 

TEAM OF THE WEEK -  April 16 – 22
The Fredsies (ECFBL)
83/287 (.289) 45 R/18 HR/44 RBI/3 SB	72.1 IP 70K/8 W/1.62/1.09/11 S
The Fredsies strong pitching won them the weekly honors over some tough competition. They had 8 different pitchers record wins, while 6 added saves. Vance Worley tossed 7 scoreless innings with 11 Ks. Rafael Betancourt and Henry Rodriguez each contributed 3 saves. On the offensive side, Mike Napoli (.440/7 R/5 HR/10 RBI) and Matt Kemp (.381/4 Runs/3 HR/6 RBI) were once again dominant.

I watched Mat Latos yesterday.   Now I want an eye transplant with someone that watched Jamie Moyer pitch (not when he was first called up because that eye transplant would have cataracts).  I wish I could pinpoint what the problem is with Latos, besides looking terrible.  He was hitting 95 MPH on the maybe-a-tad-Reds-friendly radar gun for three straight pitches to Beltran.  Unfortunately, he threw all three friggin’ pitches in the exact same spot, so, of course, Beltran turned on one.  Then he made the next hitter, Holliday, look terrible with offspeed stuff.  Like a bachelorette order form, is there somewhere I can check for him to mix in the junk?  Does Mesoraco only have one finger on his pitch-calling hand?  Is Latos giving up early runs so Dusty can’t throw him into the 11th inning?  How do you even give up 5 earned runs in the first two innings on only 6 baserunners?  Is that even mathematically possible with only one two-run homer?  Why are you making me wrack my brain?  And why are you giving up a two out triples to the opposing pitcher?!  Latos gets the Giants next.  If he can’t make them look like a team that has only three hitters, and one of which they bench, then Latos is going to my bench for the foreseeable future.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Krispie Young – The MRI revealed a ligament tear and who wins this year’s Biggest Loser.  Damn you, MRI, and your spoilers!  Krispie’s headed to the 15-day DL and the Diamondbacks say he should be fine after a couple of weeks of rest.  With a ligament tear in his shoulder?  Sounds like they have a ligament tear in their silver lining.  This sounds like something that won’t only sideline Krispie for longer than 15 days but also leave him at less than 100% for the rest of the season until an offseason of rest.  It’s pretty terrible news.  Rico Suave should see the majority of the time in the outfield while Krispie gets himself right.  Parra’s pretty yawnstipating from a fantasy perspective for mixed leagues.  In NL-Only leagues, he should get you some counting stats.   (Wanna hear something that says so much?  I added yawnstipating to my computer dictionary.  It’s right there in my virtual dictionary next to dork.)

Justin Upton – Where is thumbkin?  Back from the MRI to say Upton needs a few days of rest with a bone bruise on his thumb.  He did get into yesterday’s game as a pinch runner.  Would be just wonderful if he had to slide head first.  Hope Kirk Gibson didn’t slo-mo arm pump that in-game move.

A.J. Pollock – 0-for-3 with a caught stealing.  How many players does it take to fill-in Krispie’s roster spot?  One Pollock.  He has good speed (36 SBs last year in the minors), but it’s not clear how much he’ll actually play.  Might just be a bat for a few days until Justin’s thumb stops being Upton no good.

Brett Gardner – To the DL with a strained elbow.  Huh?  What’s he running on his hands like Encino Man?  You don’t need an elbow to bunt and run.  Put your elbow in a sling and call it macaroni!  This kills my RCL team (well, Krispie’s loss kinda hurt that too), but how is there only one DL spot in the RCLs?  What were we thinking?  Guys (and 4 girls), talk some sense into me Charlotte sometimes, would cha please?

Hiroki Kuroda – 4 1/3 IP, 6 ER, 10 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Starts like these in The House They Built Across The Street From The House Ruth Built is the reason why I told people to not draft him.

Lance Berkman – Puma reaggravated his calf injury and might hit the DL.  Coincidentally, my Cougar’s out for a day or two with shingles.

Carlos Beltran – 1-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam & legs.  That’s 5 homers and 3 steals.  Maybe he’s this year’s old player who comes out of nowhere and has a renaissance year.  How do we not have a term for this in the glossary?  Please suggest in the comments.  Thank you.

Brad Lidge – Davey Johnson revealed that Lidge suffers from vertigo.  Still waiting for Davey to choose a closer, or more accurately, to explain The Trouble With Henry.

Ivan Rodriguez – Announced his retirement.  Let’s remember the days when his nickname Pudge wasn’t ironic due to the banning of illegal substances that caused him to lose all muscle mass.  Pour some andro out for him.

Cliff Lee – 10 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks.  I feel like a ten inning game is more rare than a no hitter. (I probably could find out if that was true at the ol’ Google.)  Through 10 innings, he threw 102 pitches and 81 of those were strikes.  Let’s just say, The Adverb was more than suffixient.

Bartolo Colon – 8 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Lincecum who?

Matt Cain – 9 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Bartolo Colon who?

Brian Wilson – Undergoing Tommy John surgery today.  They’re still evaluating whether they hairnet his beard or if they have to shave it.  If they shave it, the surgery is due to end on Sunday and the homeless family of Lilliputians will need to be relocated.

Brandon Morrow – 6 IP, 6 ER, 11 baserunners, 2 Ks.  Walks really got him in this game…and the hits…and the runs…and the lack of Ks.

Mark Buehrle – 8 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Of course he pitched a gem.  Why wouldn’t he?!  Why would I want this kind of start from Latos?!  I must be crazy!  Yeah, still a little annoyed at Latos.  And another thing, if Latos didn’t seem so detestable of a personality, I might be able to let it go!

Joel Hanrahan – Tweaked his Hanrahammy.  Should be good to go by the weekend.  In his place…

Juan Cruz – Guess who has more saves than Jordan Walden and Heath Bell combined?  I grabbed Cruz in one league, then dropped him when I had to fill in for Gardner.  Cruz may not see another save all year.  If you’re very desperate, then specloselate.  (On a related note, I thought of what we can call a top closer’s set-up man, a side salad.)

Grady Sizemore – Cleared for baseball activities.  He’ll probably pull his groin scratching himself.  I’m only half-punning.

Juan Francisco – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer in as many games.  The Braves are committed to Glass Chipper like Aguilera should be committed for eliminating Jesse Campbell, but Francisco’s a good name to watch in deep leagues in case he can get more playing time.

Jair Jurrjens – 4 IP, 4 ER.  Can the editor who recut Star Wars take Jar-Jar out of the Braves rotation too?

Dan Uggla – 1-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs with his first homer.  Still wanna sell him for Skip Schumaker and a bag of Fritos?

Luke Scott – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 3rd homer.  Member I said last week to pick him up?  Yeah, nothing’s changed yet.

Matt Joyce – 3-for-5, 3 runs, 1 RBI and his 2nd game in a row with a homer.  If he’s gonna hit, it will be in the first half.  It’s Joyce to wit.

Justin Morneau – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs with his 3rd and 4th homers.  Only cussword his fantasy owners are hearing this year is refocused.

Matt Capps – 1 IP, 1 ER and the save.  Could he save a game without giving up a run?  Just a question.

Kevin Youkilis – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs with his first homer.  Youuuuuuuk, speaking through his agent, said, “Tell Valentine there’s his motivation.  And Sugarhill Gang invented the rap.  So there!”

Lucas Harrell – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Anyone with a rotation spot, you own in NL- or AL-Only leagues, so I grabbed Harrell in an NL-Only league.  Never looked at his stats.  Just grabbed him.  Then he pitched well yesterday for the second time in three starts and I was like, “Hey, this guy’s awesome!  I wanna see his minor league stats.”  So I Googled his name to see his minor league stats, and Googled asked me, “Are you sure you want to see his minor league stats?”  Yes, Google!  Give ‘em to me!  “Oh.”  That was my reaction after seeing his stats.  Um, yeah, I wouldn’t touch him in mixed leagues.

Aramis Ramirez – 2-for-4 with his first homer.  He’s alive!  I think.

Omar Infante – Out until Friday with a groin strain.  It happened when he was running away from Hanley carrying a bottle of hair dye.

Pedro Alvarez – 1-for-3 with his 2nd homer.  He’s batting .074 on the year.  To get results from Alvarez, the Pirates threatened him with a demotion to Triple-A or worse a trade to the Orioles.

Jake Peavy – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks.  Yes, you should own him.  No, I’m not joking.

A.J. Pierzynski – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer.  When I say hot, you say schmotato.

Doug Fister – Felt renewed discomfort in his abdomen.  For Fister owners, that’s a punch to the gut.

Prince Fielder – 2-f0r-4, 2 RBIs and a steal as Major League Baseball tried to increase offense by moving 2nd base five feet from 1st.

Chase Headley – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and TWO HOMERS?  He had two homers the entire 1st half last year, and two homers the entire 2nd half for four (stutterer!) total.

Michael Cuddyer – Homered then left Wednesday’s game with a bruised toe.  If Cuddyer needs to miss time, guess who gets some time?  No, not Eric Young Jr.  Tyler Colvin.  Could be some pop there.  Keep your eyes peeled in deep leagues.

Juan Nicasio – 6 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Eh, I’ve seen better starts.  Buehrle, for instance, that was better, but I’d continue to roll with Nicasio in most leagues.

Derek Holland – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Kinda wish I had Holland instead of Latos right now.  Okay, I’ll let it go.

Kirk Nieuwenhuis – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 1 RBI and a steal.  I’ve seen some people in the comments ask if they should pick up Kirk.  Don’t cheat, Razzballers.  Ask if you should pick up Nieuwenhuis.  If I gotta spell that shizz, so do you.  And, yeah, you should pick him up.  Kinda like how I’ve been saying that in the last two weeks of Buys.  Yesterday, he hit leadoff.  That probably won’t hold, but Bay’s name is short for Sickbay, as in he hasn’t been good in years, and Duda hasn’t had much zippity, doo or dah recently.

R.A. Dickey – 4 1/3 IP, 8 ER.  More like U.R.A. Dickey.

Tim Lincecum went six innings and gave up a bongillion runs and has a 10.54 ERA on the year.  He’s either sharing a UCL with Wilson or he’s about to make a turn around.  No pitcher is going to throw a 10.54 ERA without the universe abandoning that whole gravity thing.  And in that case, there would be bigger fish to fry, and we’d have to fry that fish in a Jiffy Pop container, otherwise the hot oil would float away.  Or so I read in one of Ken Cosgrove’s stories.  Will Lincecum have a 2.75 ERA this year?  Well, that’s a different bag of flying fried fish.  There’s talk that his velocity is down, which makes his change-up less effective.  See, you need one to go fast and one to go deceptively less fast.  It’s timing, y’all.  Could Lincecum be nothing more than a 3.50 ERA pitcher?  Yeah, it’s possible, but there’s still value in that.  I wouldn’t give the farm in a trade for him, but I’d see if someone was interested in the tractor.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brian Wilson – There’s talk he could rehab and not get Tommy John surgery because he has a moderate UCL sprain.  Oh!  Is that all?  Terrific.  Spray some Windex on it and get out there!

Brandon Belt – 1-for-3 with a run as he started for the 2nd straight day.  Look at the big brain on Bochy!

Freddy Sanchez – Had a minor setback during his rehab.  Hey, I know that impersonation — Josh Hamilton, right?  Pretty good, Freddy!

Austin Jackson – 1-for-3, 2nd homer as he bats .405.  He’s marching towards history; someone better put Ted Williams’ head in a microwave.

Justin Verlander – 9 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 9 Ks and a 131 pitches.  I couldn’t get a one out save for Valverde here?  Throw Grey a bone!

Doug Fister – Threw 10 pitches off the mound and another 90 pitches and, Dougie Fister, you’re on.  On, on, on, on, on… But, trust me, you don’t want to see Fister beatbox.

Carlos Gonzalez – Out for three straight days with strep throat.  For our Latin American readers, that’s no lymph nodus operandi.

Danny Duffy – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks vs. the Tigers.  You kinda had to have nads of steel if you started Duffy vs. the Tigers.  Or whatever the equivalent is for our four girl readers.  It’s not even that incredible of a start.  Or is it?!  There was only one walk.  That could make Danny Duffy more than just the cream of the crap on the Royals staff.  His problem in the past has been walks, but if he controls that, guess what else he has?  Yup.  So far, he has 15 Ks in 12 1/3 innings.  Sure, it’s a small sample size, but so are your hands and we know that’s a myth.  Over 10 K-rate in Triple-A, over 9 in Double-A, over 7 last year in the majors, but he was a mess last year.  Throw it out.  Seriously, find a recycle bin and let Philip Humber pick it out.  Means nothing.  If he can get 180 innings this year, he could get 180 Ks.  The ERA may bounce around 4.00, but there’s upside for much more.

Andy Pettitte – Will make his next start on Friday after he pitched 4 shutout innings on Sunday.  May 10th is the target date for his return.  Let’s see if they can coax Posada out of retirement, and then the Yankees can make every day Old Timer’s Day.

Raul Ibanez – 1-for-4, but whatever.  The other day I saw Raul Ibanez on the front page of ESPN’s fantasy coverage talking about how he should be owned.  I was like, “Hmm… Did I miss something between drunk Friday and hangover Saturday?”  So I looked at his stats:  2 homers on the year, 9 RBIs while batting .222.  Why is ESPN pimping this guy?  Oh, that’s right, he plays for the Yankees.  Seriously, imagine he was on any other team.  This guy would get a feature?  He has some huge years on the Phils and never saw any press.  What’s Clay Rapada gotta do to get a feature?  Freddy Garcia can’t get no coverage?  Hey, ESPN, go get your shine box!

Michael Pineda – Threw 26 pitches in a bullpen session.  It’s no marathon bukkake session, but I guess it’s something.

Ike Davis – 1-for-4 with his 2nd homer in as many games.  Hey, Valley Fever, I sneeze in your general direction!

Jason Bay – 1-for-4 with a homer.  So he didn’t retire?

Jason Heyward – 2-for-3 with his 3rd steal.  I love that.  Nothing gets me juices flowing like saying “me” instead of “my” and a guy who isn’t owned for steals stealing a random base.  Get it, Heyward, get it!

Tommy Hanson – 7 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Did we ever establish his over/under for innings pitched this year?  How’s 130 sound?

Cory Luebke – 7 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks in Coors.  I know, sonavabench!  But better a good start on the bench than a bad one and then be worried about his next start too.

Krispie Young – 3-for-4, 1 run, 2 RBIs and his 5th homer.  Looks like there’s some traffic, cause he’s also batting .405.

Matt Wieters – 3-for-4, 5 RBIs and two homers.  Matt Wieters Fact:  He took two years in the majors to fulfill his potential.

Nolan Reimold – 2-for-3 with a pinch hit homer off Santiago.  Now has 3 homers on the year.  Since I’ve spewed nothing but praise for Reimold for the last three years, I’ll save you the time.  I love him.  If you really wanna go there, my Nolan Reimold fantasy.  I wrote it in pink highlighter.

Hector Santiago – 1 IP, 2 ER and the blown save.  On last week’s podcast, I said Santiago wouldn’t get out of April with the closer job.  Cust kayin’.

Philip Humber – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Starting the week off with a Humber, nice!  Not to be an ageist, but Humber’s 29 years old and hasn’t shown a whole lot.  In AL-Only leagues, he’s solid.  In most mixed leagues, you can probably find better.

Kendrys Morales – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs and his first homer (and RBIs) of the season.  Member when everyone was crazy about Kendrys in the spring?  Ah, yes, those were the days.  We were younger then!  And you had hair!

Glen Perkins – Sounds like Perkins might end up on the DL. So if shizz Cappens, the back up would be… Have the Twins won yet?  Oh, yeah, they have… Okay, so if there’s a Cappsizing… Um, well, there’s the Reading Rainbow favorite, Jared Burton… There’s Brian, the Duensing Machine… There’s Alex Burnett.  Yeah, let’s hope Capps is okay… Wait, I own Capps.  Yeah, I’m not sure what I’m hoping for.

Justin Morneau – 2-for-5 with his 2nd homer and third RBI on the year.  Another 98 homers and he’ll break 100 RBIs.  Oh, Twins.

Stephen Lombardozzi – 4-for-5, 1 run and 2 RBIs as he filled in for Espinosa.  This is worth monitoring in NL-Only leagues.  Lombardozzi has good potential, but I think Espinosa will be back out there.  Though Espinosa is proving to be a painful 20/20.  Like looking at Hugh Downs naked.

Henry Rodriguez – 2nd save yesterday and he has a 0.00 ERA.  Nothing to see there, literally.

Wilson Ramos – Hit his first homer yesterday.  He tried to get it back from the fan who caught it, but the fan wanted $50,000 in unmarked bills dropped off in an abandoned parking lot.  Poor guy…

Mitch Moreland – Should be fine today after having oral surgery.  That Hershiser sure is busy!

James Shields – 8 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks.  I recall something in the preseason something about you staying away from Shields.  That’s right, Random Italicized Voice, I was worried– You were wrong!  Well, I was– Wrong!  Are you going to let me finish?  Sure.  He has a 3.98 ERA career ERA after 1240 innings.  That’s not the smallest of sample sizes.  He doesn’t look like a sub-3 ERA pitcher like he was last year, but more like a sub-4 ERA.  If you want to look at small sample sizes– Pull down your pants!  Funny.  No, what I was going to say is that his K-rate looks to be reverting to his ‘bad’ ERA years.  On a related note, I tried to see some historical data for Patriot’s Day games because I was wondering if those games are usually low scoring because they’re so early.  I didn’t find any data, but I ended up at Wikipedia where I found this, “Because of the unusually early start time as the first baseball game of the week, many fantasy baseball players are often negatively affected by the early roster lock time. Each year, this date causes havoc with owner’s lineups who are unfamiliar with the early start.”  Are our commenters editing Wikipedia?

Fernando Rodney – Recorded his 4th save.  Aren’t you glad you drafted (fill in one of seventeen injured closers)?

Daniel Bard – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 11 baserunners (7 BBs), 7 Ks as he was throwing 36% sliders.  Looks like the Bard’s already drafting a sequel to Antony & Cleopatra called, Antony & UCLeopatra where their love leads to a rupture that only one doctor in all the land can fix.

Cody Ross – 2-fo-4.  In the Sawx outfield is Ross, Sweeney and McDonald.  That sounds more like a comedy troupe than a MLB OF.  Is that the Boston Groundlings?

Kevin Youkilis – Did not play as Bobby Valentine called into question Youk’s heart.  How can they say that after he played with those two broken thumbs?

As we mentioned earlier this month, we created an ‘expert’ league that follows the same rules as the Razzball Commenter League and will be included in the master standings.  Will the Expert League reign supreme (Iron Chef^TM) in competitive index or will several RCL leagues put the experts in their place?  We shall see…

Here are the participants in the first annual Razzball ‘Expert’ League (links if they posted a draft review):

Razzball – Grey Albright
Razzball – Rudy Gamble
Yahoo! – Brandon Funston
Yahoo! – Scott Pianowski
Yahoo! – Andy Behrens
FanGraphs – Eno Sarris
Hardball Times – Jonathan Halket
MLBTradeRumors.com/RotoAuthority – Tim Dierkes
Mastersball – Ryan Carey
Rotowire – Dalton Del Don
SI.com – Eric Mack
Steamer Projections – Dash Davidson

Here’s a link to the entire Draft Recap:

Grey:

As mentioned in our 2nd podcast, ESPN screwed me for messing with them for the last five years.  Right before my 1st pick, my computer crashed.  Here’s me during the draft.  “Hey, I have the 7th pick.  Awesome.  I’m gonna have a 1st baseman.  I might even get Votto.  I wonder who that lady is watering her lawn across the street.  Maybe I’ll stand up carefully to make sure I don’t knock over my coffee and get a better look–NOOOOOO!  Crap, mother-effin’, son-of-a-motherless-goat!  Reboot!  Reboot!  Reboot!  Okay, it’s rebooting… I have a minute and thirty seconds… Reboot!  DAH!  I drafted Robinson Cano!”  And then that dictated just about all my other hitter picks.  Since I had Cano, I couldn’t grab Kinsler, didn’t want a shortstop and the only 1st baseman or 3rd baseman within the vicinity was Tex and I wasn’t drafting him with my 18th pick.  So I took Giancarlo.  Then I really felt like I needed to make sure I had some sorta corner man so I reached for Zimmerman.  Not feeling totally comfortable with Zimmerman as my 3rd baseman, I reached for Hosmer for my other corner.  Then I felt like if Zimmerman got hurt again, I should have another 3rd baseman, so I grabbed Aramis, then I realized later on that Aramis wasn’t a clean bill of health either so I grabbed Chisenhall.  Then I dropped Chisenhall when he was demoted and grabbed Smoak for the two game Japaning Day, then, when those games ended, I grabbed Eric Thames.

I may have 5 aces when it’s all said and done.  I wouldn’t even need Gio on this staff, but he fell so far down that I wasn’t going to let him go.  I’m not worried about saves, even if my closers are little iffy.  SAGNOF!  Since I had Cano and Hosmer, I took some guys that may be average drains, but should give steals and power.  Though, I do think average will be one of my biggest concerns.  In true Grey fashion (I love to pick up and drop players and talk about myself in third person), I’ve already made a few moves on pitching too.  Dropped Fuentes (right after Balfour became the closer) and grabbed Bourgeois.  Bourgeois is the kinda of guy that if he sneaks into a large playing role or if I switch him in only when he plays, he could get me 30 cheap steals.  SAGNOF!  I dropped Stauffer and grabbed Lidge when Storen was hurting (Clippard was drafted) and dropped Crain for Henry Rodriguez.  It’s a bit of a shizzshow, but, in some ways, I like to be able to juggle my last roster spots so I don’t care I wasted a pick on Chisenhall, Fuentes, etc.  Rudy gets a lot more tied to his drafts than I do.  In the end, I think I still have a solid team.  By the time you read this, I may have made three more pick-ups and drops.

Grey’s RCL Draft
Position	Player	Round/Pick
C	Geovany Soto	R23 Pick 271
1B	Eric Hosmer	R4 Pick 42
2B	Robinson Cano	R1 Pick 7
SS	Zack Cozart	R17 Pick 199
3B	Ryan Zimmerman	R3 Pick 31
OF	Giancarlo Stanton	R2 Pick 18
OF	Brett Gardner	R6 Pick 66
OF	Krispie Young	R7 Pick 79
OF	Alex Rios	R14 Pick 162
OF	Peter Bourjos	R19 Pick 223
1B/3B	Aramis Ramirez	R8 Pick 90
2B/SS	Aaron Hill	R16 Pick 186
UTIL	Lonnie Chisenhall	R24 Pick 282
SP	Madison Bumgarner	R5 Pick 55
SP	Mat Latos	R9 Pick 103
SP	Anibal Sanchez	R11 Pick 127
SP	Gio Gonzalez	R12 Pick 138
SP	Mike Minor	R15 Pick 175
SP	Jake Peavy	R20 Pick 234
RP	Jose Valverde	R10 Pick 114
RP	Huston Street	R13 Pick 151
RP	Matt Capps	R18 Pick 210
Bench RP	Brian Fuentes	R21 Pick 247
Bench RP	Jesse Crain	R22 Pick 258
Bench SP	Tim Stauffer	R25 Pick 295

Rudy:

At this point in the draft season, I’m starting to get predictable in my early round draft behavior.  I was really happy picking 10th with the confidence that either Joey Votto or (more likely) Adrian Gonzalez would fall to me and I wouldn’t have to worry about overpaying for a 1B later in the draft.  As luck should have it, Grey’s computer crashed and he auto-picked Robinson Cano vs. his preferred Joey Votto pick who came gift-wrapped to me at #10.   Longoria was an easy choice at #15 as I figured there would still be top SPs on the board by the time I picked next at #34.  The experts were more aggressive than I figured at drafting SPs however as Halladay, Kershaw, Verlander, Lee, F-Her, and Lincecum were all off the board.  Luckily, I liked Greinke slightly more than F-Her and Lincecum.  But I also liked Jay Bruce for this pick and, in retrospect, probably should’ve gamed Greinke was the more likely of the two to make it me at pick #39.  Hunter Pence was the consolation prize.

I spread out my SP selections and seemed to have a lot of success nabbing K-friendly pitchers (Lester, Beachy, Morrow).  I specifically drafted Lewis and Nolasco in later rounds because of their solid WHIPs (which help balance out Morrow).  For the first time in years, I drafted the first closer off the board (Kimbrel – 6th round/63rd pick) as the value was too great given his obscene K-rate.  Marmol and Putz came at decent values at Rounds 11/12 and I was glad to be done with closers before a closer run occurred (10 closers went in the next 33 picks after Putz).

As for offense, I just drafted for value and was able to avoid inadvertently punting AVG or SBs.  I reached for Jose Altuve whom I think has 30 SB upside with solid AVG and, like several of my teams this year, got solid R/RBI value out of my other MI spots (Alexei Ramirez, Neil Walker).

All in all, this was about as good of a draft as I could’ve hoped for.  I don’t think my team has any major weaknesses and hopefully my team has good injury karma.  It’ll be interesting to see how well I do in this type of format (12 team, daily changes) – especially without Grey as co-manager

Rudy’s RCL Draft
Position	Player	Round/Pick
C	J.P. Arencibia	R23 Pick 274
1B	Joey Votto	R1 Pick 10
2B	Jose Altuve	R13 Pick 154
SS	Alexei Ramirez	R10 Pick 111
3B	Evan Longoria	R2 Pick 15
OF	Hunter Pence	R4 Pick 39
OF	Shin-Soo Choo	R7 Pick 82
OF	Drew Stubbs	R8 Pick 87
OF	Jeff Francoeur	R16 Pick 183
OF	Colby Rasmus	R18 Pick 207
1B/3B	Gaby Sanchez	R17 Pick 202
2B/SS	Neil Walker	R14 Pick 159
UTIL	J.D. Martinez	R20 Pick 231
SP	Zack Greinke	R3 Pick 34
SP	Jon Lester	R5 Pick 58
SP	Brandon Beachy	R9 Pick 106
SP	Brandon Morrow	R15 Pick 178
SP	Colby Lewis	R20 Pick 226
SP	Ricky Nolasco	R21 Pick 250
RP	Craig Kimbrel	R6 Pick 63
RP	Carlos Marmol	R11 Pick 130
RP	J.J. Putz	R12 Pick 135
Bench RP	Mike Adams	R22 Pick 255
Bench RP	David Hernandez	R24 Pick 279
Bench OF	Denard Span	R25 Pick 298