Comatose Pirates Fan, I have a surprise for you. You may want to sit down. No, no. It’s a good surprise. The salad days of Willie Stargell are back! (Though even Pops would’ve agreed salad wasn’t on his menu.) I’m excited for the Pirates, they’ve been the Andy Dufresne of major league baseball for far too long.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s not easy to give up 11 runs in 4 innings. You have to have the faith of your manager, first of all. Second of all, why does Jon Lester have the faith of his manager? Or anyone, for that matter.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Pirates announced the time is nigh for Starling Marte. The Pirates equipment manager, Buffalo Bill, has to start making a uniform made from Jose Tabata’s skin. Put the lotion in the basket, Tabata! Tabata, “I wanna go home!” You won’t go home, ever.Please, blog, may I have some more?
As David Brent’s friend would say, “Only one for the Bum, no harm done.” Madison Bumgarner got SF another SHO as he threw a game that made it easy to get behind the Bum and not just for those in The Castro — 9 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit, 2 walks and 8 Ks.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ryan Zimmerman recently admitted to the Washington Post that his shoulder isn’t at 100%. I recently admitted to the College of Fantasy Baseball at Charleston Alumni magazine that my pinkie finger has been acting up. I go to type up some fantasy baseball advice and it looks like this, “I drafted Ryan Zimmerman, that piece of @#$%^&*” I don’t reach for the Shift key and symbols, but my pinkie involuntary adds them.Please, blog, may I have some more?
You walking out of your H2H draft, “I might have overspent on Tulo but, as long as I have him in September, I’m fine. Now where are those cigars I’ve been saving for the birth of my firstborn? I need a stogie up in here!” You might’ve just got your wish.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It hasn’t been easy owning Matt Wieters this year. After a monster April (.279 / 6 HR / 15 RBI), he had an Arencibian May (.188 / 2 HR / 7 RBI). All the while, catchers on the waiver wire like A.J.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In 1992, the last time the Astros had a number one draft pick they skipped over Derek Jeter and drafted Phil Nevin. As they say, the rest is history. Or as an Astro fan says, “The rest never happened because I became a Texas Rangers fan. Go Hamilton!” This year the Astros weren’t letting it happen again. With their number one pick, they selected 17-year-old shortstop, Carlos Correa. To put this in fantasy perspective, the Astros took Ramon Castro 17th overall in 1994.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ernesto Frieri got the save yesterday in the 11th inning, but Downs came on in the 9th in a tie game. On one hand, teams hold back their closer in a tie game in away games, in case they get the lead. On the other hand, sometimes whoever pitches the ninth is the closer. On a third lesser known hand that is actually a mitten on a doorknob, maybe Downs just came in to face two lefties and stayed in for Gomes. On a fourth lesser known hand that is actually a hand spraypainted onto a dolphin, there is no fourth lesser known hand spraypainted onto a dolphin; c’mon, man, that’s just cruel. On a fifth lesser known hand that is actually a giant hand-shaped pinata, The Sciosciapath is managing all of this, so if he sees Frieri get the save, Frieri could be the man. If Frieri is out there, I’d grab him. I still think Downs is in the mix. Walden’s droppable outside of deep leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Marco Estrada – To the DL with a right hip flexor injury. Chubby Checker just shuddered.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Allow me an ignorant rant: If you are a baseball fan you know this is the most important time of the year outside of October. Interleague play has taken over MLB and it represents a very important part of baseball: the fans.Please, blog, may I have some more?