Welcome to the 2016 Razzball Team Previews! You’ll find everything you need to know about each team to get yourself ready for the upcoming fantasy baseball season. And I mean everything, folks. We’ve got line-ups, charts, Slurpees, lube, a guide for beginner electricians, and even a cactus! Well, that’s a lie. That’s what Jay had last year sitting in front of him. This year? Um…a little less lube? Take that as you will. But hey, we’ve got teams to preview and questions to ask, so let’s hop to it. We a very special guest for this post… Brendan O’Toole, to provide his take on what the team has in store this season. Now enough rambling, let’s see what 2016 holds for the Boston Red Sox!Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Poet Laureate Alfred, Lord Tennyson once said — among other things — “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” Clearly Tennyson never played fantasy baseball. Other than the fact Tennyson died in 1892, he clearly never played fantasy baseball with that sort of attitude. While the return of players like Miguel Cabrera, Justin Turner, and even Desmond Jennings will no doubt help fantasy rosters, this past week saw lose more roto players than we gained back.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Red Sox season is like the guy that knocks over the Jenga structure with the first block pulled, then manages to somehow knock every single block off the table, even the ones on the very bottom. Koji Uehara hit the DL with a fractured wrist, and is done for the season, as originally speculated here after reading between the lines at other sites. I also read between the lines that aliens constructed Tikal in Guatemala. And I thought Tikal was constructed by Method Man. Also, I have a bone to pick with read, why is the past tense still spelled read? Siri can’t even figure that shizz out to speak. You messed up, English language! Any the hoo! With Uehara out, this opens a hole for Jean Machi or Junichi Tazawa to walk through. Tazawa is Asian, though I’m not sure that’s a requirement, Machi is ugly. Again, may not matter. Either way, I’d go Machi first since Sawx manager, John Farrell, indicated that Machi would fill-in as the closer, adding, “And Sandoval is still fat.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m picturing Droopy Dog saying, “Going down,” to my Excitement for Jose Fernandez. My Excitement for J-Fer is hooking up with a strobe light honey at a club, and my Excitement for J-Fer’s friend later tells my Excitement for J-Fer, “She was cute, except for that protruding Adam’s apple.” My Excitement for J-Fer just got a $300 red light camera ticket. My Excitement for J-Fer put the green trash can at the curb the day it was supposed to put the blue can and then puts the black can at the curb the day the green can was supposed to go out. My Excitement for J-Fer exclaims, “Why can’t I even throw out the trash right?!” My Excitement for J-Fer sighs and puts an emoji in its text messages that symbolizes its childhood hero Hulk Hogan being a racist. As you’ve likely heard, Fernandez is out indefinitely with a bicep strain. Hopefully, he can be fine for next spring, i.e., I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t return this year. Otherwise, as the old beer jingle will tell you, J-Fer, the pitcher to draft when you’re DL’ing more than one. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sometimes I feel like Lisa Simpson when she gets the Linguo doll and Homer attempts to make it drink beer. The line from that episode — Trilogy of Error — that seems to haunt my fantasy teams is “This is why I can’t have nice things!” After trading for Jose Fernandez in a keeper league just days ago, once again I’m forced to acknowledge said quote.Please, blog, may I have some more?
So with the festivities of All-Stardom concluding, thus comes the second half. It’s an inevitable thing, you eat half a cookie the other half remains. So this week I am going to run down a list of the closers for the remainder of season. So sorry for not doing salads with donkeys this week, I felt this was more noteworthy since we are about two weeks from the trade deadline in real and fake baseball life (in some leagues). The closer rankings that I came up with will be based off of a few things: saves (no durrr), team success, likely hood to remain a closer, and peripheral stats. So we lump all those together and we get the ROS STSLRCPS. Which basically looks like a pretty good scrabble deck. Bare with me, it’s a busy time of year, and for those in the know, Fantasy Soccer is live and in full effect. Go check it out, it’s fantasy baseball with an accent. So now onto the closer ranks for the rest of the 2015 campaign…Please, blog, may I have some more?
I am equating this one solely on one thing for the Cubbies… and that term is? Pseudo-intellectual. Joe Maddon does everything different and it’s gotta be the glasses. He makes everyone want, need or have to be involved in his bullpen. Basically, he is the united colors of Benetton of managers. His hydra approach at the bullpen is not only bothersome or troubling for the roster-bater in all of us, it’s damn near impossible to roster and guess which guy it will be today. The trio of Jason Motte, Hector Rondon, and Pedro Strop all seem to play the part of a closer, but get shuffled around like Joe is playing little game in his head. I get that some situations warrant certain match-ups, but sometimes it doesn’t make any sense to me. So for those of you that still care about the Cubs and their six save chances combined between all relievers in the last 14 days, I would roster Motte and Rondon equally, and if I had the space, I would roster Rafael Soriano and hold on tight. Soriano is going to come in like the new city slicker, with a shiny pair of aldo shoes and end up being the cat’s pajamas for about a minute in Maddon’s mind. Personally, rostering three guys to garner one stat is a crazy, crazy thing to get wrapped up into and is a waste. If you are rostering one non-closer reliever to help with ratios, where are you making this roster space up from? Nowhere is the answer, my friends. So stick to the straight and narrow for saves for now, don’t chase unless a clear situation opens it’s doors and gives out the good candy on Halloween. Stick around for some tidbits about the world of relief-dom…Please, blog, may I have some more?
You ever look at a pitcher and just realize that he’s running out of gas much sooner than you expected him too? Well, that’s what I am noticing from the Mets closer of the moment, Jeurys Familia. He is pitching like his best friend died or his pet rock was used in a terrarium for a science fair project. I am not liking the trend of the K’s disappearing, hell he went four appearances without getting one. For a guy with a 10-plus K/9, that is worrisome. The BAA is up for the month, walks are triple from what the previous two months were, and he is trying to pull of a mocha shoe with a green suit. I mean, come on. So just the other day, Bobby Parnell came in got a nice tidy 5-out save and it made me think, the way the Mets are and what their needs as a team are, is this the solution that they need? They needed bullpen help, a nice veteran returning who knows the ropes, walks with a pimp skip (no cane on the field though), and has the ability in previous years to get the job done if need be. I personally just think Jeurys needs a lessened work load to make him bounce back. Still, it is worth noticing or monitoring that Bobby P is back, and he is rounding up his bottom and top slags from Queens Point and is in waiting. Lets see what other bits of delusion I have to scour up for ya. Enjoy the week… cheers!Please, blog, may I have some more?
For a few days it’s been all quiet on the closer front. Usually in the lede, I talk about a change in regime and the pluses/minuses and my opinion on it. There hasn’t been one for two whole weeks… It’s crazy. MLB is putting me outta business in the jibing about fantasy closers market. Where does the unemployment line start? I am only half kidding, and I’m also half crazy too. So that makes me half-something. So believe it or not, the season is officially 3/8 of the way over. That is just crazy in itself to even fathom. I think I have rambled on about nothing long enough… let’s talk about someone, anyone, shall we? I like the rebound to form that Mark Melancon has shown, due to a K/9 of 4.68. I haven’t seen a true one-outcome reliever before, but if you own him, I would sell for a better product. You can probably get by on two things in your favor. One, his name uses letters that can be read in a left-to-right format, which, from what I am understanding, is standard for reading purposes. Two, he has 6 saves in the last two weeks and when people look to see how he has been doing, they will see that he is tied for the lead during that time frame in saves. Listen, if you need saves and you own Melancon, I am not saying go out and sell him cause I said so. I am saying swap him and a extra player and see if you can get an improvement on the K category. The other owner will be so smitten that he got a closer and another player for just a closer, he won’t realize that he was jobbed. Side note, make sure he doesn’t read this blurb first or the jig is up. Stick around more snippets of informative justice are on the way…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Big changes since last week kibitzed away and lot’s of rankings went up and down. The regions in the south seem to be upping the border patrol in regards to the save situation, as both Texas and Arizona are forming committees. For this week, I would rather focus on the desert instead of the burbs of Arlington. So with the demotion of Addison Reed and a full on committee type approach, I am throwing my sombrero on Enrique Burgos to stay, maintain, and hold the job. I have touted him on two previous occasions as the “next gunslinger to be” down there, and well, guess what? He’s here… sorta. Until Chip Hale realizes that he has a 60’s sitcom name and gets his head out of the Archie comics, we may be stuck withe the veteran preference type thing. We shouldn’t be, but most likely will be. We have seen what Zig-Zag has done and Reed? Well, he’s cooked in my eyes. Enrique is the goods. He is the typical high 90’s fastball having nonsense closer that you want. His minor league numbers suggest a high K rate, an occasional propensity to give up a walk, but he is young and sealing his oats. Be semi-patient, he has 18 total innings above A-ball. So far in the majors, he has 20 k’s in 11 plus innings. That is pretty nasty.Please, blog, may I have some more?