Fantasy Baseball Advice

A lot of starting pitchers have been traded by the A’s.  Some fare great (Haren), some have mixed results (Hudson), some collapse (Mulder).  But there has never been an ex-A’s starting pitcher that seems to miss the AL West as much as Chad Gaudin.  While he did get crushed @ LAA, his last 3 starts @SEA, home against SEA, and @TEX have netted 21 IP / 2-1 / 2.14 ERA / 0.76 WHIP / 28 Ks.  That’s a Peavian 12 K/9 IP with a K/BB ratio of 21:5.  We’ve had Gaudin on a couple of deep league teams since we love NL West pitchers and it’s been hard to recommend him because he’s been so damn wild.  But after these past three dominating starts (8+ Ks, 2 or less BBs), he’s a must pickup in any league format at this point.  Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Everth Cabrera – 3-for-8 this weekend, with one steal.  If you need steals, don’t wait until after the 3 steal game to grab him.  He may not be there.

Scott Hairston – 3-for-4 with a homer yesterday.  Okay, that’s the last Padres blurb.

Aaron Cook - Effectively hittable (8 IP, 9 H, 1 ER) and liftable (9 ground balls, 10 fly balls) against Oakland, he’s now won 5 in a row and given up just 1 ER in 4 of those games.  He’ll never be a fantasy ace so if you have 5 aces, don’t pick him up.  Otherwise, jump on him – especially if the matchup looks good.

Jose Valverde – Perhaps stunned that Russ Ortiz carried a 3-2 lead through 7 innings against a major league team, Valgreen’s blew the save with a 2-run HR to Brandon Inge.  You may have noticed LaTroy Hawkins earned the save on Saturday.  What does that add up to?  Eh, not much.  Valverde has a long leash and will be closer for the Astros unless he gets hurt, sucks it up big time, or gets traded.

Mark DeRosa – One of the most versatile players (2B, 3B, OF) is now playing for one of the most inventive managers (Tony LaRussa).  Plus, both their names refer to roses which seems romantic.  DeRosa’s expected to play most of his time at 3B but his first start saw him in LF.  For now, he’s batting 4th (right behind Pujols).  Wouldn’t be surprised to see him hit 2nd, 5th, or 6th in upcoming games.  One thing that’s safe for now is DeRosa will get his 5-6 starts a week….as long as he doesn’t impersotweet Tony L.

Khalil Greene – He was hot a little over a week ago, but he’s now 0-for his last 14.  He’s the best choice to bat 2nd?

Pablo Sandoval – 3 HRs between Friday and Saturday.  Stomach virus on Sunday.  That virus was probably living for years in that stomach before Pablo felt it.

Carlos Carrasco - Word is that the Phil-Phil may start Car-Car on Thursday against Atlanta.  He came into 2009 as the Phillies top pitching prospect (ahead of JA Happ) but his 4.92 ERA in 86 AAA IP in 2009 is a clear sign this is a callup out of necessity.  If you dig into his AAA stats, though, things look a bit brighter.  About 1 K an inning.  A BB rate under 3 per 9 inning.  His FIP is only 3.50.  His strand rate of 61.7% is awfully something – awfully unlucky, awfully bad or awfully telling that he can’t pitch out of the stretch.  We’d recommend giving him a game or two to prove himself before starting him (we’re still hurting from Hochevar) but if you need Ks in the worst way, go for it.

Eric Bruntlett – 1-for-11 this weekend.  Rollins went oh-for-no-he-didn’t.

Jamie Moyer – 5 IP, 4 ER, but earned his 252nd win to pass Bob Gibson on the all-time list.  Let the discussion now begin about who was a better pitcher — Gibson or Moyer.

Tommy Hanson – 6 IP, 0 ER. Only four baserunners vs. the Sawx.  Now he’s going to be the Cy Young!  Actually, prolly not.  He’ll still have some rookie hiccups.  (I abandoned prolly for probably for a few months to see if I could be taken more seriously by established media personalities like George Will and Ken Burns.  Since I can’t spell Pulitzer without Googling it, I’m going back to prolly! I may even apostrophize, “It’s okay” as S’okay.  Stay tuned!)

Jonny Gomes – Had a good run on all our teams this week with two homers.  Now he’ll return to platooning and we’ll drop him.

Brandon Phillips – 3-for-5, 3 Runs, 3 RBIs and his 11th steal.  Taking the slow boat to 20/20.   S’okay, as long as he stays healthy, he’ll get there.

Asdrubal Cabrera – Hehe.  Asdrubal’s back.   Hehe.

Aaron Hill – 2 HRs yesterday to bring his total to 19.  Could get to 30.  No reason you have to think at any moment the indigestion’s coming on.

Mike MacDougal – Got his third save for the Nats and started selling iced mochas just like McDonald’s.  But he spells mocha with a K.

Josh Willingham – 3-for-4 yesterday and .389 in the last week. You can grab ‘ham while he’s hot, but if you have an erection for longer than 4 hours after doing so, you may want to seek a doctor’s advice.

Andrew McCutchen – Has 2 steals and 5 Runs in the last week.  S’not terrible, but schmohawk behind door number three can probably give you the same.  The Dread Pirate should give you something in a trade though, so I’d explore those options. (I might rethink “S’not.”)

David Price – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER. But at what price? 5 walks.

Andrew Miller – 6 1/3 IP, 5 ER.  Miller’s like a boba that clogs your straw.  Just pull the straw out and shoot that oversized boba into the garbage.   It’ll choke you out.

Alfonso Soriano – His forties haven’t been kind to him. Yesterday, 2-for-4, no Runs scored or RBIs or steals.  It’s bad when that’s a good day.

John Danks – 7 IP, 0 ER. He’s at 4.08 ERA on the year with a 1.28 WHIP.  That sounds about right.  I don’t think he suddenly becomes a number one or two, but prolly a solid number 3.

Ryan Sadowski – 6 IP, 0 ER. He was a 4 ERA pitcher in Triple A, isn’t an overwhelming strikeout guy and walks hitters.  Sadowski is the new blech.

Francisco Liriano – 7 IP, 2 ER.  More impressively, he only walked two and one of those was Pujols.  The Cards, with the pitcher batting, aren’t exactly Murderer’s Row, more like Ripping A Tag Off A Mattress Row, but it’s a step in the right direction for Liriano.

Adrian Beltre – If you missed the news over the weekend, he’s going to be out for 2 months with shoulder surgery being performed by, oddly enough, an Angels’ doctor.  You think the Angels would’ve offered to work on Ichiro.  Beltre’s droppable outside of deep AL-Only leagues.

Jose Lopez – 3-for-4 and stole his first base of the season.  As of late, he’s one of the hottest hitters and should not be on waivers in any league.

Chien-Ming Wang – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks for his first Win on the season.  “If this is a breakthrough, color me bored.” — Appropriate here, but it’s also a quote from Thomas Edison’s overdemanding mother.

Mariano Rivera - 500th career save @ Metco and 1st career RBI (bases loaded walk against K-Rod).  If I owned the Mets, I would do three things.  1) Get Michael Jackson’s old hyperbaric chamber for Jose Reyes’s hamstring, 2) Change financial advisors, and 3) Campaign MLB to spread out the embarrassment of playing the Yanks to once every 4 years.

John Maine – Rehab is suspended because there’s a pinched nerve in Maine’s shoulder.  I once suffered from a pinched finger from a Maine lobster.  Which finger?  The same one that’s getting prepared to click the mouse in shallow leagues where I own Maine….

CC Sabathia left his start with biceps tightness.  Or is it bicep?  Hmm…  Either way, it’s not great to hear about an arm issue with your fantasy ace.  Right now they’re saying no tests are even necessary.  Give me two hundred CCs of a White Russian and I’m asking this, you pay one hundred trillion dollars for a player and then you don’t send him for tests when he hurts his bicep(s)?  Are they joking?  Seriously, is this Candid Camera?  I thought I saw my Adam Lambert poster’s eyes move.  Is there a camera behind there?  Send me a signal, throw me a line.  Hopefully, tests aren’t necessary because it’s so obviously not a problem.  They don’t need to administer tests for how Sabathia feels about his new home park, The Jetstream.  To the left, to the left… Now, up, baby, up… He has a 3.99 ERA at home and 3.35 away.  His 6 K/9 is more troubling.  That would be the lowest mark of his career.  Even last year in April when he was struggling, he was K’ing more than one batter per inning.  Hopefully in the 2nd half of the year he can rearrange the girth and makes things right.  (Fun with anagrams!)  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Daisuke Matsuzaka – Disgraceful List just got one more as the Sawx made room for Smoltz.  Neither funny nor that insightful, but you’d think there would be some kind of rule by the MLB that teams can’t just DL someone because they’re ineffective.

Ryan Howard – In and out of the hospital with a fever.  Phillies doctors said he’d be fine, he just ate a quart of ice cream too fast and his body temperature was trying to overcompensate.

Carlos Beltran – Going for an MRI on Monday for his knee even though he complained days ago and played on Sunday.  Um, okay.  Supposedly he only has pain when he decelerates abruptly.  Here’s an idea, slide!

Endy Chavez – Out for the season so Transylvania’s favorite son, Wladimir Balentien, should get the starts.  Now the Mariners just need all of their major league and minor league catchers to hurt themselves so they have to play Jeff Clement.

Casey McGehee – HR yesterday.  Has 10 homer power, but right now he’s scorching hot, batting over .400 for the last week.  He’s worth a flier over the schmohawk behind door number 3.  For what it’s worth, last week I dropped Kennedy for McGehee in one league.

Chris Coghlan – 3-for-4, 3 Runs.  According to ESPN, Coghlan’s only owned in 3.1% of leagues.  Actually, I kinda understand that.  In June, he has 1 homer and 3 steals.  Excuse me while I burp.

Don Kelly – 2-for-4 and batting .417 since his callup.  He’s a minor league journeyman who has some light speed.  Not speed of light.  Totally different thing.

Aaron Harang – 7 IP, 3 ER, 7 Ks.  It’s like 2008 never happened.  But, you know what?  I remember it.

David Ortiz – HR yesterday.  Note from the author (me).  This was sent in by a longtime reader, Tarasco’s Secret Stash, “Ortiz’s swing this year has been interesting to watch evolve lately, and it’s finally clicking. Dave Magadan first tried the Drew back-shoulder tap as his first timing correction, but that didn’t really seem to get him out of his funk. Papi was rocking that timing mechanism for a couple weeks in May, until they started trying his current approach, which is much quieter and more vertical. He’s setting his hands smoothly now, Hideki Matsui style, instead of waggling the bat or cocking his wrists, and he’s instead leaving the hands up higher and the wrists more loaded. That’s letting him dip slightly to load his weight back while keeping the wrists much more steady, and it’s keeping his swing plane on the ball better. His hip rotation is still strong, which is the best sign for him going forward. He’s able to turn through balls as well as years past, and he seems to have rediscovered his bat path over the last couple weeks. He’s drilling the ball to left center at Fenway of late.”

Dallas Braden – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 Ks.  Solid fill-in for this week without Peavy.  I’m sticking for now and going with him in Oakland vs. the Rox in his next start.  If I were feeling particularly lucky, I’d roll the dice with Cahill (vs. SF, COL) or Garrett Olson (vs. Padres, LAD) this week.  I’m not feeling lucky, but some of youse may be.

Wandy Rodriguez – 7 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks.  The Wandwagon rolls again.

Ricky Romero – 7 IP, 2 ER.  Nice start vs. the Nats.  I’d take a flier on him for a fifth to sixth fantasy starter.

Lyle Overbay – Hit his 9th homer yesterday with 5 RBIs.  You’re showing Derrek Lee and the dealer’s showing Lyle Overbay.  That’s a push.

Khalil Greene – Two games, two homers.  Now that he has his emotional baggage safely stored in his overhead compartment, he’s mollywopping the ball.  Worth a flier for cheap power at your MI spot.

Gil Meche – 3 1/3 IP, 9 ER.  It was the Cards, man.  The Cards.  Pitch around Pujols (who had 6 RBIs in this game).  Pitch. Around. Him.  Come on!

Michael Cuddyer – HR yesterday.  Hitting .444 over his last week with 2 homers, which is also known as Joe Mauer every week.

Geovany Soto – HR yesterday.  Clearly he’s found his power stroke with 3 homers this month, but he’s still batting .238 in June and only has 6 RBIs all month.

Randy Wells – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER.  Got the Win after 6 starts when he could’ve easily been victorious.  I’m still not endorsing him past matchups and his next matchup’s kinda eh.

Kevin Millwood – 7 IP, 2 ER, 10 Ks.  Finally listened to Nolan Ryan as he emphasized the importance of the K.

Chris Davis – Over the weekend, Davis became the fastest man ever to 100 Ks.  Maybe Nolan Ryan should be careful about to who he’s emphasizing the importance of the K.

Troy Tulowitzki – 3-for-3.  His average has been on the rise all monthowitzki.

Matt Holliday – 0-for-4, batting .269 on the year with 8 homers.  Where’s that blogger/guy/doode who in the preseason said Holliday just needed to get familiar with Oakland then it would all start clicking?  Is he familiar yet?

Jeremy Accardo – Left yesterday’s game after tweaking something on his right side.  Eddie Vedder says, “Jeremy’s broken…”

Carlos Zambrano in his own special way welcomed the Cubs new arrival, Jake Fox, with a shizzfit of epic proportions.  Zambrano was ejected for bumping an ump,  I especially enjoyed when the ump ejected him and he then ejected the ump.  I’m out of order? No, YOU’RE out of order!  Somewhere Michael Barrett flinched.  Jake Fox can do it all. And, like Tyra Banks would say, he can do it fiercely.  His Triple-A numbers are 40/17/50/.423 in 40 games with a .503 OBP.  Pretty sick… And that’s sick as in healthy, not sick as in Conor Jackson, Carlos Quentin or Votto.  But will Fox get time to do any of it, you ask.  Let’s see, Soriano, Hoffpauir, Fuku, FU (Bradley), Derrek Lee and Reed Johnson in four spots.  Fox’s only shot for regular playing time is at 3B and there he’d be a butcher.  At 1B/OF, maybe he gets 3 starts a week unless D-Lee gets hurt.  Though you can call D-Lee “DL” at this point, because he’s been about as reliable as a parachute made of bloomers.  As with other rookies, if Fox gets the chance, he could prove successful, so you want to be the one that owns him.  If he fails, then you drop him and take a bat to the Gatorade cooler.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Manny Parra – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 12 baserunners and 5 walks with 6 Ks.  Unfortunately, this is what Parra do.  Until he can get his walks in order, he’s not worth the psoriasis-inducing head scratching.

J.J. Hardy – 3-for-5.  Hey, look who decided to make an appearance.  He’ll hit .250 and get 20+ homers.  If that’s what you need, that’s what he does.

Matt Capps – Said to be returning soon.  Be nice to get one save for all the effort I put in to pick up Grabow in every league.  Throw Grey a bone here, would ya?

Mat Gamel – 0-for-3.  Sticking with the Mat theme, but dropping one T like a bad geisha.  Gamel’s 3rd base eligibility made him especially enticing to me as a cornerman.  But he’s now making me long for Mark Teahen.

Luke Scott – Returned from the DL and hit a HR.  He’ll steal time from Wigginton, which is ironic because they’re basically the same player.  It would be like Mark Reynolds losing time to Chris Davis.  Tomato-tomahto, Orioles.  Find a blahtoon that makes sense to me then we’ll talk.

Nolan Reimold – Game winning homer yesterday.  See, Gamel, that’s how you turn lemons into Country Time.

Brett Myers – Left the game with his hip to be flared.  Again, he really shouldn’t even be on your team.  To avoid future flare-ups, he promises to wear the proper gear when disagreeing with his wife.

Jay Bruce – 2 HRs.  Now has 14 homers and only 29 RBIs.  Sure would be nice if the Reds put some runners on for him.  Maybe Dizzy Votto and his maritime compatriots can get aboard.

B.J. Ryan – For those holding out hope he’s taking over for Downs any moment, he’s given up 4 runs in the last 2 innings.  The Blue Jays are paying him a lot of money so they feel compelled to play him.  You shouldn’t.

Rick Porcello – 6 IP, 2 ER.  His lack of Ks leaves me wanting more, but he’s obviously been decent.  And his last name sounds like a delicious pasta sauce!

Josh Anderson – 4-for-5 while batting lead-off and stealing his 10th base.  SAGNOF!

Oliver Perez – Jerry Manuel said, Perez will need to be in the minors for at least another start because of “knee problems.” Jerry Manuel needs a bar of soap for some “lying problems.”

Adam Dunn – Hit another HR.  Since I traded him for Jose Reyes, he’s hit about five dozen home runs.  Kill me now.  Thank you.

Derek Holland – 5 IP, 5 ER.  Was a terrible matchup, and he gets the Yankees again next time out.

Chien-Ming Wang – Well, lookie-lookie.  2 IP, 2 Ks and zero baserunners.   Now let’s see you do it when you don’t have a seven run lead.

Elvis Andrus – I feel like I haven’t mentioned this enough, but where’s the effin’ steals, doode?  6 steals so far is not enough.  Let’s go, Elvis, boogie.

Kevin Slowey – I don’t own him in any league, but I gladly would.  I like Slowey a lot.  But because I don’t own him, I had no idea of something… He’s got 7 Wins?!  When did this happen?  Some of my teams don’t have 7 Wins.  Why am I fielding questions about whether to start this guy or not (when I invariably say start him)?  He’s 7-1 with a near-4 ERA.   Yeah, I’d start him.

Jered Weaver – Here’s another guy I feel like I keep answering questions about.  He has a 2.36 ERA.  For criminy sakes, start him.

Adrian Gonzalez – Hit his 18th homer yesterday.  Could this be the year we see a 40 homer guy call Petco home? (<–Sounds like something Tim Kurkjian would say while his voice squeaked.)

Bronson Arroyo – Now leads the NL with seven wins.  After the game he played on his guitar his new tune, “I May Suck, But My Wins Say It Ain’t True.”  Actually, pretty catchy.

Randy Johnson – Goes for win number 300 next week against the Nationals.  After he wins that game, I imagine he’ll say something like, “I could’ve won 500 games if they were all this easy.”

Jesse Chavez – 1/3 IP, 2 ER.  Somebody got burned yesterday chasing Saves.  A’la Nelson Muntz, ha ha!

Joe Nelson – 2 IP, 4 ER.  See 1/8 of an inch above.

Ben Zobrist – 2-for-3, and a steal.  Even if you just own him while Reyes gets better, it’s something, no?

Ben Francisco – 3-for-5 with a homer.  He’s 8-for-9 with 5 homers against Andy Sonnanstine.  Maybe he can get glasses made that superimpose Sonnanstine’s jersey on every pitcher.

Russell Branyan – Hit his 11th homer yesterday.  In the offseason of 2010, you’ll be looking at first basemen and you’ll think you should draft Branyan because he had 30 homers in 2009.  No, you shouldn’t.  But you can own him this year.

Adam Kennedy – 0-for-8 in the last two days.  He was hot for about a week, then he remembered who he was.  So my question is, who told my Reyes fill-in that he’s just Adam Kennedy?  I had a good thing going, man!

Emilio Bonifacio – 0-for-5, Just doing a friendly check-in on our favorite April 7th pickup.

Dan Uggla – HR yesterday and 5 homers in the last 10 games.  Not hitting for much average, but you didn’t expect him to do that anyway.

David Ortiz – Hit sixth again.  You know what’s been under reported in all of this?  Who’s now hitting third… J.D. Drew.  Zoinks!

Khalil Greene – It’s been a bad year for the Silent H’s as Khalil heads to the DL with anxiety disorder.  If there’s a bright side to this sad, sad story, maybe the anxiety will cause his ugly-ass hair to fall out.

I wrote this blurb about Daisuke Matsuzaka, then ran it through an online Japanese translator then converted it back to English.  Here’s what came out — “Dice-K’s arm fell asleep!  You wish he was going to recover like Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai after he found humility. There’s nothing you can do.  Overreact and break all your eggs.  Under react and fall asleep while driving.  The best thing you can do is hope thunder and lightning wake Dice-K’s arm.  Until then, see who the Boston Socks use in his place.  Masterson carry thunder and lightning.”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Ian Kinsler – 6-for-6 as he hit for the cycle, Marlon Byrd went 5-for-6, 3 RBIs and now batting .417, Nelson Cruz hit his 5th HR and Chris Davis sat.  Why was Chris Davis sitting?  Because of Mark Hendrickson?  Mark Hendrickson just called my house and said he sucks.  For criminy sakes, Andruw Jones looks ownable on that team.  I’m convinced if you put Nick Punto in the Rangers lineup he’d have a three homer game.  Everyone can hit on that team… Well, except Salty, who went 0-for-5.  In a game when your team scores 19 runs, it’s gotta hurt when you take home the goose egg.  I own Teagarden in an AL-Only league for just the chance he gets in on the action.  (Now that’s how you punt catcher.  Starting a guy who’s not even playing.)

Justin Upton – Just missed a home run as he found his stroke a bit yesterday.   First good sign I’d seen all year.

Chris Carpenter – Gone for 4 to 8 weeks.  You say, “So, Grey, what do you think of Kyle Davies?”  As I said yesterday, best case scenario is Carp goes to the DL.  Your wish is my command.  Now you can bury him in your DL spot and move on.  Over/under that he returns and stays healthy the rest of the season?  Slim to anorexic.

Matt Cain – 6 IP, 2 ER and 115 pitches.  Look, everybody, Bochy’s trying to ruin Cain for 2010.

Clayton Kershaw – 7 IP, 1 ER, 13 Ks.  Think it might’ve been the best pitching performance so far this season.  Sure, it was the Giants, but 13 Ks in only 7 innings is impressive.  Not to mention, only one walk for him is very inspiring.

Khalil Greene – 0-for-6.  How’s that boost in value doing him?

Colby Rasmus – We suspect leaguemates thought we were ignorasmuses for drafting him in our leagues.  No complaints just yet.  LaRussa is rotating the four OFs fairly equally (Ludwick has sat the pine 3 times already!) and is batting Rasmus in the #2 slot in front of Pujols.  That means a good amount of Runs and grooved fastballs.   He’s got 20 HR/15 SB potential if he can get 400+ ABs but might cost you on average.  Worth the gamble as a last OF in any league format at this point.  He’s the most loved Cardinals OF since So Taguchi. (I just want to massage him and force feed him beer!)

Cameron Maybin – Hitting .214 on the year with a lot of nothing.  I’m legitimately concerned.  It’s bad predicting a breakout that never comes.  It’s worst to sit on him too long.

Chris Perez – Cards brought him back and he pitched well, throwing 2 scoreless.  Needs to string a few together before we hail him the Cards closer again, but he’s on his way.

Chipper Jones – I kinda understood the recurring oblique, even though I have no idea what that is.  I was fine with the tricky back.  Hey, my back nags me sometimes too.  But a thumb injury that has him out for two days?  Who injures their thumb for a few days?  It’s either hurt or it’s not.  Who is this guy?  The boy in the bubble?  It’s appropriate he has chin whiskers, cause he’s a pussy. /rant

Xavier Nady – Sounds like Nady might need season-ending surgery.  And then there were 4.  Outfielders, that is.  Swisher’s value gets a major boost.  He’s still a .250 hitter.  Don’t let extra PT cloud your judgment completely.

Joe Mauer – To start rehab next week.  Doesn’t matter to any of you though, only auto-drafters own him.

Huston Street – Kazaam!  Naturally, Corpas is a good handcuff to have because Street has stunk up the joint from here to Buddakan, but I still think the Rox want Street to close and raise any trade value he might have.

Mark Reynolds – HR yesterday.  Davis 2, Reynolds 2.  Now jab!

Scott Baker – Returned with a 4 IP and 6 ER night. Was on our risky pitchers post (I’m done linking to it, search the site).  Guys and dollfaces, Baker’s going to struggle for a while to get up to speed then you have to hope he doesn’t hurt himself again.  This is not evolving into a great scenario.

Ichiro Suzuki – Returned with a steal and a grand slam.  Hey, Baker, now that’s an entrance!

Aaron Hill – 3 HRs and 11 RBIs on the season.  I’m buying at the expense of some other MI schmohawks.  I’m looking at you, Jose Lopez.

Jay Bruce – Batting .167 on the season.  Someone Google Map Bruce the strike zone, pronto.

Emilio Bonifacio – 1-for-6 with 4 Ks.  Uh-oh, someone’s holes are being exploited.

Jered Weaver – 5 IP, 4 ER.  At least his brother always sucks.

Rich Harden – 3 IP, 4 ER.  At least 9 out of every ten Harden owners saw his line and thought he left the game early with an injury.  He duped you!

Robinson Cano – Notoriously awful in April and he’s currently hitting .382 with 2 HRs.  Guess Ivan Rodriguez and Sidney Ponson aren’t the only beneficiaries of the WBC.

Armando Galarraga – 6 1/3 IP, 0 ER.  The regression will not be televised.  But the regression will come.

When I went over the top 20 2nd basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball, I mentioned that it was really shallow, but actually a bit deeper than the list of the top 20 shortstops for 2009 fantasy baseball.  Well, proof is in the pudding, so here’s the pudding.  We’ve already gone over quite a few top 20 lists already and they can be found in the 2009 fantasy baseball rankings.  Also, here’s a list of every player who has multiple position eligibility and our 2009 fantasy baseball player rater.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 shortstops for 2009 fantasy baseball:

1.  Hanley Ramirez – Already covered him in our top 10 for 2009 fantasy baseball post.

2.  Jose Reyes – Already covered him in our top 10 for 2009 fantasy baseball post.

3.  Jimmy Rollins – Already covered him in our top 20 for 2009 fantasy baseball post.

4. Alexei Ramirez -  This is the next tier and it goes down to Furcal.  I call this tier, “Really? These are the top shortstops?”  Alexei may not be eligible in all leagues because of less than 20 games at shortstop.  Either way, I already covered him in our top 20 2nd basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball.

4 1/2.  Stephen Drew -  Okay, when you see Stephen Drew at number four and a half overall for shortstops, you’re asking yourself if this is a vote for Drew or an indictment of the 2009 shortstops.  That’s a fair question and I’m glad you posed it.  What do you think?  A bit of both?  Wow, we are totally in sync.  Okay, what did I eat for lunch?  Nope, chicken burrito.  In 2009, Drew takes a step forward.  2009 Projections:  85/24/80/.280/7

5.  J.J. Hardy – Personally, I’d like to see Alcides Escobar get called up and I wouldn’t be surprised if it happens by the trade deadline in July with Hardy going to a contender.  Maybe to the Dodgers to replace an injured Furcal.  2009 Projections:  85/25/80/.275/3

6.  Jhonny Peralta – This Silent H comes in at sixth with the other Silent H coming at 18th.  The scary thing is there’s been years where they’ve flip-flopped in the rankings.  Peralta doesn’t come without some risk.  Be forewarned, fantasy baseballers!  2009 Projections:  85/25/90/.270/3

7.  Troy Tulowitzki – Let’s put Tulo’s 2008 season into a strait jacket and then submerge it into Houdini’s Milk Can.  2009 Projections:  65/20/85/.285/5

8.  Derek Jeter - After you choose Jeter in your 2009 draft, make sure you tell your wife so she can pat you on the head.  2009 Projections:  110/12/70/.305/12

9. Rafael Furcal – I already went over Furcal for 2009 when he returned to the Braves for a minute (not an Urbandictionary “minute,” which is actually a long time.) He’s going to be a steal for his draft position or he’s going to go kaboom like peanuts in abnormal lemonade.  2009 Projections:  95/15/65/.285/35 or 25/6/40/.390/7 and a seat next to Nomar on the DL.

10.  Michael Young – Here’s a new tier that goes from Young to Renteria.  I call this tier, “Boring.”  I say boring because their best years are behind them and, for a few of them, their best years weren’t even that good.   As for Michael Young, when I say empty, you say average.  “Empty…”  “Average…” I will say this in Young’s defense.  Look at his projections compared to Jeter.  Not that different, huh?  2009 Projections:  100/10/85/.310/10

11. Miguel Tejada – I want a new drug.  One that won’t spill… One that won’t let me hit .280 with 13 home runs and 66 RBIs… Or that comes in a pill… 2009 Projections:  90/15/75/.285/7

12. Orlando Cabrera -  Him and Renteria have similar power, speed, average and they want to kill each other.  2009 Projections:  90/7/65/.280/20

13. Edgar Renteria – Two enemies forever entwined in the 2009 fantasy baseball rankings.  2009 Projections:  80/9/70/.285/12

14. Yunel Escobar – This next tier is called, “What do you get when you mix nothing with the slightest bit of upside?”  This tier goes from here to the end of the list.  If you’re digging through the middle infielder bin at Filene’s Basement, you’re much better taking one of these schmohawks than one in the last tier.  These guys may not outperform them, but at least there’s a chance.  2009 Projections:  90/13/65/.300/3

15. Mike Aviles – Already covered him in our top 20 2nd basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball.

16. Ryan Theriot – The Riot is actually not a bad late draft sleeper.  It’s nice to get 25 steals out of your MI spot and The Riot can potentially give you that.   2009 Projections:  90/2/40/.295/25

17. Yuniesky Betancourt – How does an outside chance at a 10/10 season sound to you?  Yawnstipating?  Yeah, me too.  2009 Projections:  65/10/65/.280/10

18. Khalil Greene – This H is silent, but deadly to your average.   2009 Projections:  65/20/80/.235/5

19. Emmanuel Burriss/Asdrubal Cabrera – Already covered them in our top 20 2nd basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball.

20. Clint Barmes – Honestly, I could’ve put about ten different names here and they would have all been as uninspiring.  2009 Projections:  75/12/55/.270/12 (<–real optimistic)

After the top 20 shortstops for 2009 fantasy baseball, there’s a lot of names but two stand out:

Elvis Andrus – Some would even call him a 2009 fantasy baseball sleeper.  Hey, wait a sec, I called him that!  If the Rangers get Vizquel, it hurts Andrus’s value, but, as I already said, Andrus probably wouldn’t be up for opening day anyway.  2009 Projections:  55/3/35/.250/20 in 50 games.

Jed Lowrie – “Hey, what’s that you just put into your back pocket?”  “Jed Lowrie.”  “Why?”  “I want an outside chance at a 10/5 season.”  Long pause.  “Oh.”  2009 Projections:  75/10/80/.260/5