Kevin Kouzmanoff

Grey

No Pleasure, No Pena

| Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 374 Comments

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You know how cutters cut themselves to take their mind off some pain in their life? (RIP, Frankie from The Real World… San Diego!) Well, I have an idea that major league teams can employ.  They should hire absolutely terrible ex-major leaguers to make slumping hitters feel better about themselves.  “Pena, you’re in a real bad slump, but imagine how I felt when I hit .195 for the better part of the 1990′s?”  Wait, they already do this.  They’re called major league managers.  So, Carlos Pena is capable of 10+ homer months and 40 homers on the year.  His average isn’t going to be good.  He’s not a .170-something hitter though.  Even if he hits only .210 this year.  That’s a forty-something point increase from where he is.  Right now, fantasy baseballers (<–my Mom’s term) aren’t just trading Pena on the low, they’re flat out dropping him.  So you don’t have to buy him for a lot, you barely have to buy him for anything.  You could throw a Pena owner a bag of empty pistachio shells that you already licked and they’d probably be happy to get Pena off their team.  In fact, I just saw a guy walk through heavy traffic wearing a Carlos Pena jersey.  Hmm… Maybe that was Carlos Pena.  Come back, Pena, you’ll be better!  (Note:  I wrote this before I was told that Pena was a Buy Low guy at ESPN.  Though I still haven’t read what they said, it makes sense when a 40 homer guy is struggling.  Note from Hater Bell:  Hey, Grey, you and Karabell should get a room and have sex.)  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

John Axford – Hoffman will either suddenly hang ‘em up and retire or he’ll be the closer again by the end of the month.  At least that’s what my Magic Eight Ball that I purchased at Spencer’s Gifts says.  In the meantime, grab Axford.  He could get sloppy with his walks at some point, but he’s getting saves now.  And, yes, I am an Axfordian scholar.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

From Mattadors to DoorMatts

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 96 Comments

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Matt Lindstrom threw 1 IP, 2 ER and his second blown save in two games and third in his last four.  If you’re not reading this until Sunday, he probably blew another game.  Oops, there goes another one.  I grabbed Brandon Lyon in two leagues where he was available.  If it was simply Lindstrom sucking, I’d say you can hold off, but Lindstrom said he has mechanical issues.  You know what mechanical issues are code for, right?  A breakdown.  In the mean’s while, Lyon is just okay.  If I said he was good, I’d be (Mad Lib in your own pun).  But Lyon does have closing experience, so there’s that junebug on the duck’s back or some other yokelism.  As for Matt Capps, his rope is a bit longer, but his shakes haven’t been great either.  Yesterday, he went 2/3 IP, 3 unearned runs and the third time he was Cappsized this year.  Ticker shock due to Cristian Guzman playing about fifty feet too far behind 2nd.  It was Guzman’s third error of the game.  [mind-boggling] I realize the Nats are the Nots without Guzman and all, but there really should’ve been a defensive replacement in this game.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

The Hawaiia’an Mash Machine, Poi!

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 335 Comments

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The peasant Royals finally called up the first baseman, Kila Ka’aihue, who was blocked by Mike Jacobs last year in a boneheaded move.  His name is not pronounced Killer Kahlua.  Kila has a career .386 OBP in the minor leagues.  I guess Moore has no place for that on his team that has a .325 OBP.  In Stephen’s Minor League Review of the Royals, he wrote, “In 555 Triple-A at-bats (across two years), (Kila’s) hit for a .211 ISO.  The power is legit.  If given the chance at full playing time, the Royals could have a 25 homer, .400 OBP first baseman/DH.  Oh, and for Halloween I want to dress up as Grey but I don’t know how to make my head simultaneously big and stupid.”  Whoa, I gotta start proofreading these Minor League Reviews a little closer.  The only problem with Kila is I’m not sure where the Royals are going to play him.  Grab in deep mixed and AL-Only leagues.  Everyone else, hold your junk until we see how his playing time shakes out and to make sure this Kila is shooting something besides BBs.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Mike Aviles – 3-for-5 with a homer as the Royals finally called up another guy.  If you’re hurting for average, Aviles could provide some support, bra.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Rudy Gamble

Best and Worst Values by Position

| 2010 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Rudy Gamble | 76 Comments

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I’ve added average draft position (ADP) from MockDraftCentral.com to the 5×5 10/12/14/16 Team Point Shares tables. (NL-only Point Shares are also up for 8, 10, and 12 Team.)

As expected, pitchers are valued higher in Point Shares vs. actual drafts.  There’s plenty of reasons for this – riskier pitchers are undervalued, (mis)perceptions, blah blah blah – but all that matters is finding the best bargains across all positions.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Third Basemen to Target, 2010 Fantasy Baseball

| 2010 Fantasy Baseball Draft, 2010 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper | 44 Comments

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I suggest you grab a 3rd baseman before leaving the top 100, but that’s not always possible.  So, if you miss out on one,  this list is guys that can be had later in your drafts.  Look at this as a supplement to the top 20 3rd basemen of 2010 fantasy baseball.  Where applicable, click on the players name to read more about them or to see their 2010 projections.  Anyway, here’s some 3rd basemen to target for 2010 fantasy baseball:

Ian Stewart – For those drinking every time I mention Stewart, keep your buzz going.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Beltre’s Scratched… Balls

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 73 Comments

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Adrian Beltre hits the DL with Jockular Sphincteritis as a grounder clipped one of his testicles.  It’s the best contact he’s made all season.  When reached for comment, Beltre said, “Aw, nuts!”  After being badgered, he yelled, “Stop busting my balls!”  Turns out, Beltre doesn’t wear a protective cup.  He claims it’s uncomfortable.  You know what else is uncomfortable?  A bleeding testicle.  Beltre could be out for the season, but he hasn’t really been much use this year so his owners shouldn’t worry.  On a related note, I wonder if he’ll let his teammates sign his cast.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jonny Gomes – 3 HRs.  Half of me (the Lily Tomlin half) wishes Dusty would start benching Gomes again for no good reason, because I don’t own him anywhere.  – Quote from Grey after he picked up Wladimir Balentien for Thursday’s short schedule day.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Gone-Sick Bedard

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 238 Comments

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Surprise, surprise, Canada’s number one export after Stubby Clapp is hurt, eh?  Erik Bedard takes his inflammed shoulder to the DL.  The Mariners say he’ll be fine to return on June 23rd.  If you were to read between the lines, here’s what you would see, “Please, someone trade us something for this pitcher that cost us Adam Jones, Sherrill and Chris Tillman.  Please!”  Man, Bill Bavasi really shit the Mariners house.  On top of the three guys mentioned, he traded away Shin-Soo Choo, Asdrubal, Carlos Guillen, Rafael Soriano, Matt Thornton and Randy Winn.  The top player he received back was Joe Borchard, who’s currently playing for the Fresno Grizzlies, the Giants minor league affiliate.  Forbes Magazine rated him the worst general manager in all of baseball in 2007.  No idea why Forbes is rating GMs, but that sounds pretty right on.  I’d expect Bedard to come back about two weeks after he’s supposed to then to hiccup and end up back on the DL.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Pedro Martinez – Close to signing with either the Rays or the Cubs.  Pedro on the Rays seems most likely.  I wonder if Fred McGriff and Wade Boggs took him out for an early dinner to convince him Tampa was a great place to end a career.  He’s worth a shot in 12 team leagues and deeper to see if he can recapture some of the glory days of carrying around a midget and dissing Karim Garcia.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey / Rudy

The Ain’t Sure Mariner

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 197 Comments

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Brandon Morrow has changed his mind once again, deciding that his decision in the offseason to be a starter after relieving last year was a better idea than his decision in April to return to closing.  It’s already June and it’ll take him at least a month or so to stretch out his arm.  Could he put together a great 10 game stretch to finish the year?  Potentially, but maybe he’ll decide he wants to play shortstop instead.  We’re so tired of him changing his mind that we’re going to pretend like we’re monologue writers for The Tonight Show rather than debate his merits….

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Lind A Fond Stat

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 218 Comments

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With 2 HRs yesterday, Adam Lind now has 36/11/43/.313 on the year.  I know, Cody Ross has looked good for stretches.   Even Aaron Rowand has had a week or two here and there.  But why are people asking me if Adam Lind should be sold off or worse dropped?  You don’t want 85/27/100/.285?  I know he was as boring as dog balls for the month of May.  Well, he’s batting near-.500 in June.  He’s shoved into the middle of the Blue Jays lineup like a Jenga piece no one will touch.  Heart.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Don’t Mess With The Zobrist

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 260 Comments

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On Sunday, Akinori Iwamura was carted off the field. (No, it wasn’t some sorta Japanese custom when a player makes an out.)  So Reid Brignac may get some short-term value if the Rays play him.  Right now, they don’t seem committed to that plan.  And, frankly, I can see why.  He hasn’t exactly been tearing it up in Triple A.  The Rays should go to Ben Zobrist aka The Best Home Run Hitter In The World With The Last Name Zobrist.  With shortstop eligibility and potentially 2nd base, Zobrist will have value getting everyday at-bats.  Much has been made of Zobrist’s out-of-the-blue power surge.  The only explanation that seems to be out there is that he worked in the offseason with Jaime Cevallos, The Swing Mechanic.  (Turns out he helped Little Jake Current too!)  Honestly, I don’t think it matters much for Ben Zobrist since he already has shortstop eligibility.  It’s worth a flier to see if the power continues.  Just don’t cut anyone too worthwhile for that flier, including Little Jake Current — he’s got power to all fields!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Troy Percival – Hit the DL and made J.P.

Please, blog, may I have some more?