The Carpenter/Gallardo duel reminded me of Landon and Brittini taking on Mark and Rachel as they competed to see who could slide the furthest on giant blocks of ice while wearing nothing but speedos.  (BTW, Nice to see Mark battling the ageism of MTV.  Stick it to man!  Wait, he is a man.  Show those rapscallions, gramps!)   Chris Carpenter went 8 IP, 2 hits, 0 ER, 10 Ks, then Yovani Gallardo removed his fey white gloves and went 8 IP, 0 ER, 6 Ks, i.e., the other end of the duel.  Going forward, I’d trade Carpenter away and trade for Gallardo.  You may be right, I may be crazy.  Gallardo can throw 200 Ks and a sub-4 ERA.  While Carpenter will be tremendous if healthy, but that if is supersized.  Now, no one’s saying to trade him for a Circuit City gift card, but I’d see what kind of deals you can broker.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Matt Capps – He fell to the ground in pain like he was just, um, capped as a line drive hit him in the arm.  It looked as if it could lead to a DL stint.  I grabbed John Grabow in every league.  Jesse Chavez might see some chances, but I’m not intoxicated enough to own two Pirate relievers.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Alex Gordon revealed yesterday that he would require hip surgery and would miss a few months.  Willie Bloomquist owners rejoice!  Obviously this isn’t great news for Gordon.  That’s 99 red balloons for your fearless leader, Grey.  I loved me some Alex Gordon.  Though, as fate would have it, I didn’t actually get him on any team.  Not by design.  I luckily backed up into that one.  You can DL him, but I’d cut bait if you have anyone else in the DL slot.  Gordon’s not coming back for a while and even when he was around, he was tentative at best.  It’s going to be real hard for me to sell anyone on drafting him next year.  But I will try!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

LaTroy Hawkins – Notched a save as Jose Valverde was held out of the game because of a sore back.  The Astros are making it sound like Valverde’s back isn’t much of an issue.  Yeah, and the Orioles wanted Wieters to work on his D.  And the Mariners brought Griffey back so they can win games not as a PR stunt.  And the Rockies were happy with the value they received for Holliday.  These clubs lie through their teeth.  Valverde may be fine and Hawkins is a cuddle boy, but all that means nothing if Hawkins is getting the saves.  If you have room, own him.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

1. Jorge Posada
.338/91/20/90/2
At 36, easily his best year since 2003. If you saw this year coming, kudos to you. Maybe you should start your own blog called, “I Lied About Knowing How Well Posada Was Going To Do This Year.” Sixty points above his career average spells one thing: F-L-U-K-E.

Please, blog, may I have some more?