A Spanish woman, dressed in black, just pedaled past my house, chanting, “Luis Castillo no es Manny Trillo…Luis Castillo no es Manny Trillo…Luis Castillo… Oh shoot, I ripped my stockings!” It was totally sad. Kinda like when your best buddy, let’s call him Chase Utley, gets old man knee and the Phillies replace him with Luis Castillo. Luis Castillo would be good for my pre-All-Star Game contest where him and Juan Pierre have a home run contest and the gopher ball-happy Rodrigo Lopez is pitching. Just think of how few back’s we’d have to hear from Berman. There’s nothing as far as fantasy goes with Castillo. Even if objects appear closer in the side view, you still can’t see Castillo’s best days. To give you an idea of how terrible he is, the Mets released him. Long story short, he’s useless in any league where there are other starting 2Bs available. This Castillo signing does spell further doom for Utley. You really can’t draft him at this point. Also, my giant ostrich head has been in the sand too long with Howard. No Utley hurts him. I’m dropping him eight spots in the 2011 fantasy baseball rankings to right behind A-Rod. I would still draft him, but you can’t expect 115 RBIs or 95 runs at this point. Well, you can, but people might start to worry about you. Anyway, here’s some more news in fantasy baseball:
Johnny Cueto – Will miss 10 days or more with shoulder inflammation. Looks like Jason LaRue’s voodoo doll is finally working. This sounds like Cueto is going to miss at least a few weeks of the season. Obviously, not a great sign, but before we take Cueto to the mattresses for getting injured we should tempurpedic our concern. It’s a long season and he had a 5+ ERA last April and you still drafted him this year. He gets better in the heat, just DL him once the Reds do. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Orlando Cabrera taxied into Cleveland yesterday. Does Cleveland’s middle infield of Orlando and Asdrubal remind anyone else of an embarrassing moment at Epcot that I blamed on a 5-year-old? Probably just me. Hopefully not too many mixed leaguers are doing handstands over this news. Orlando Cabrera is good for 7-10 homers and 7-10 steals and by “good” I mean bad and not bad as in good. Too bad Cabrera’s first name doesn’t start with an S, then he can be S-Cab. Anyway, here’s some other fantasy baseball news:
Scott Podsednik – Signed with the Blue Jays. Don’t the Jays already have Podsednik but call him Rajai Davis? Perplexing news to say the least, though saying the least wouldn’t have me saying anything. Maybe the Jays signed Podsednik because his wife keeps morale up around the clubhouse. Wokka, wokka, wokka. Right now, Podsednik will work as a fourth outfielder and will probably see around 400 ABs. I’m not too concerned about Davis, Snider or Juan Rivera’s playing times. They all need a rest once in a while and Rivera can’t stay healthy. Please, blog, may I have some more?
The top 10 and 20 for 2011 fantasy baseball are in the bag, along with the top 20 catchers and your receipt for a $30 massage valued at $50. Thanks, Groupon! Today, Razzhands, we look at the top 20 1st basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball. All this shizz can be found under the 2011 fantasy baseball rankings. Don’t believe me? Click the link. This top 20 list of 1st basemen is the opposite of the catchers, it is bursting at the seams like you at a Hometown Buffet. Speaking of gorging yourself, I want a top 1st baseman on my team in 2011. Sure, the list is deep, but 10 of these guys will probably be gone by the 4th round. Do you really want to go to battle with, say, Lance Berkman when someone else has, say, Ryan Howard? I don’t. I want to be one of the teams with a top 1st baseman. This list will get additional 1st basemen added to it in the way of sleeper posts. As with the other rankings, the first basemen are broken up into tiers with my projections included. Anyway, here’s the top 20 1st basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball:
1. Please, blog, may I have some more?
You know how cutters cut themselves to take their mind off some pain in their life? (RIP, Frankie from The Real World… San Diego!) Well, I have an idea that major league teams can employ. They should hire absolutely terrible ex-major leaguers to make slumping hitters feel better about themselves. “Pena, you’re in a real bad slump, but imagine how I felt when I hit .195 for the better part of the 1990′s?” Wait, they already do this. They’re called major league managers. So, Carlos Pena is capable of 10+ homer months and 40 homers on the year. His average isn’t going to be good. He’s not a .170-something hitter though. Even if he hits only .210 this year. That’s a forty-something point increase from where he is. Right now, fantasy baseballers (<–my Mom’s term) aren’t just trading Pena on the low, they’re flat out dropping him. So you don’t have to buy him for a lot, you barely have to buy him for anything. You could throw a Pena owner a bag of empty pistachio shells that you already licked and they’d probably be happy to get Pena off their team. In fact, I just saw a guy walk through heavy traffic wearing a Carlos Pena jersey. Hmm… Maybe that was Carlos Pena. Come back, Pena, you’ll be better! (Note: I wrote this before I was told that Pena was a Buy Low guy at ESPN. Though I still haven’t read what they said, it makes sense when a 40 homer guy is struggling. Note from Hater Bell: Hey, Grey, you and Karabell should get a room and have sex.) Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
John Axford – Hoffman will either suddenly hang ‘em up and retire or he’ll be the closer again by the end of the month. At least that’s what my Magic Eight Ball that I purchased at Spencer’s Gifts says. In the meantime, grab Axford. He could get sloppy with his walks at some point, but he’s getting saves now. And, yes, I am an Axfordian scholar. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kendry Morales could miss the rest of the season after breaking his leg during the celebration of his walk-off grand slam. Too bad the Wide World of Sports isn’t still on. They could’ve covered the agony and the ecstasy all in one full swoop. This injury reminds me of the time Justin Duchscherer heard The Hokey Pokey and in celebration put his right hip out. And didn’t put his right hip back in for six to eight months later. In place of Kendry, the Angels could call up Mark Trumbo. In AL-Only leagues, he’s worth grabbing for his power potential. In 47 games, he has 11 homers, but it’s also in the PCL, so there’s your grain of salt. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Howie Kendrick – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs and two home runs. Second home run was a game winner but there was no need for pylons around yesterday’s pile-on. The celebration was kept in check by Scioscia. He said under no circumstances is anyone supposed to injury another teammate in a celebration unless that player is Mike Napoli. Please, blog, may I have some more?
The top 10 and 20 for 2010 fantasy baseball are in the bag, along with the top 20 catchers. Today, Razzballers, we look at the top 20 1st basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball. All this shizz can be found under the 2010 Fantasy Baseball rankings. This top 20 list of 1st basemen is the opposite of the catchers, it is bursting at the seams like you at a Hometown Buffet. Speaking of gorging yourself, as I mentioned elsewhere, I want a top 1st baseman on my team in 2010. Sure, the list is deep, but 10 of these guys will probably be gone by the 4th round. Do you really want to go to battle with, say, Derrek Lee when someone else has, say, Ryan Howard? I don’t. I want to be one of the teams with a top 1st baseman. This list will get additional 1st basemen added to it in the way of sleeper posts like I added Kendry Morales last year. As with the other rankings, the first basemen are broken up into tiers with my projections included. Anyway, here’s the top 20 1st basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball:
1. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Gone over the catchers, 1st basemen, 2nd basemen, shortstops and 3rd basemen. Guess what’s next! The title might have gave it away. With the top 20 outfielders a pattern emerges. Steroids can be tested for, but Red Bull can’t. It was the summer of speed and somewhere Ron LeFlore smiles. Since outfield is a deep position, I think I’m going to turn this one to 40. Those will be here on Thursday. Anyway, here’s the top 20 outfielders for 2009 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
1. Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’ve already went over the top 20 catchers for 2009; soon we’ll go over the top 20 2nd basemen for 2009, then the top 20 shortstops… Well, right now we’re going over the top 20 1st basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball. It’s a look back, ya’ll! Don’t worry, soon we’ll look forward. With the 1st basemen, you’ll (maybe) notice that I’m a lot closer in my rankings and predictions for these guys as compared to the catchers. This is to be expected. 1st basemen are usually guys in the middle of the lineups that produce every year; catchers are a crapshoot for hitting. Okay, enough about catchers. Anyway, here’s the top 20 1st basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
1. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Chris Carpenter went five innings giving up no runs, allowing 4 baserunners, adding in 6 Ks, driving in 6 runs and five golden… rings. 12 runs for the Cards, but everyone was a ticker tease, except for Carpenter who pitchslapped Kip Wells. LaRussa’s mind must be swimming with ideas….Do I hit him 8th? 7th? Do I platoon him with Ankiel in the OF and have Ankiel come in for intentional walks? Do I go with a Singapore Sling or an Old Fashioned? Why is Dave Duncan looking at me? Is my fly open? How come no one read my book, Tonyball? If I’m facing East, my hair should be facing West! Why is it going South?! If homeless people have no homes, why do they lug around so much junk? Homeless people shouldn’t be pack rats!… Wow, there’s a lot swimming in Tony’s mind. Interesting to peek into the mind of a genius, ain’t it? Surprised he didn’t mention this is the last roundup of the year. Ho-hum, so sad. There will still be a new post every week day through the fall and winter, so check your separation anxiety at the door. I’m still here. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Scott Baker – 5 IP, 0 ER. His FIP last year was 3.79. This year it was near 4. So he was .20 off of last year. He throws around 7 Ks per 9 innings. So he’s good for about 155 Ks. His Post-All-Star Break ERA was 3.39. Guess what I’m saying is I’m going to predict next year he’ll pitch around a 3.75 ERA, good WHIP and solid Ks and he’ll be someone to look at as a third fantasy starter with number two upside and number four downside. And in three months, I’ll quote that. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dexter Fowler had a .394 OBP in almost 1300 minor league at-bats. In his first big league season, he has a .371 OBP (through whenever I wrote this). I’m focusing on OBP because you’d like to have your speedsters on base… *cough* Taveras *cough* Is Fowler capable of 50+ steals? I suppose, but I wouldn’t count on that. No Sir Ree Bob. (BTW, I like the Urban Dictionary examples for No Sir Ree Bob. I don’t remember that conversation happening between the Iraqi Information Minister and George W. Please, blog, may I have some more?