The murmurs of Heath Bell getting traded to another team by July are getting louder.  (BTW, I love the word murmurs.  I really wanted the survivors on Lost to call The Others, The Murmurs.  Wouldn’t that have been awesome?!  Okay, maybe me.)  Prepare for a dozen or so posts titled, “For Whom the Bell Tolls,” at some of our weak sister sites.  And by “weak sister,” I’m talking prison slang and I mean ESPN.  I moved Bell down one whole spot.  I’m not worried in March about someone who might get traded in July.  He will probably drop one or two spots each month until July.  If you get 23 saves, a 1.69 ERA, 1.08 WHIP, 42 Ks in 37 1/3 innings pre-All-Star Break, you’ll be mad you drafted him?  Bee tee dubya, those were his 1st half numbers last year.  Then who knows where he goes.  Maybe Lidge and Madson finally give Manuel a coronary and Bell takes over the closing duties in Philly as Victorino player-manages.  Or maybe Bell goes somewhere else.  You get the picture; it’s still early.  Don’t overestimate-slash-overthink-slash-overrate… Just don’t “over” anything.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jair Jurrjens went for an MRI the other day.  Results came back negative, which is oddly enough a positive.  That’s nice.  I wouldn’t go near him with your fantasy baseball team.  I don’t wish ill on anyone, except for Jamie Kennedy.  If you want risk, leave the mayo out in the sun for three hours.  If you want to win your fantasy baseball league, don’t go drafting a guy who’s already getting MRIs.  The list of players who have had arm problems in February and have gone on to have solid seasons is one:  Luke Appling, but he was a total hypochondriac and probably didn’t have any arm problems to begin with.  I’ve dropped Jar-Jar out of my top 40 starters for 2010 fantasy baseball and took 40 innings away from his projections.  Anyway, here’s some more goings-on for fantasy baseball:

Johnny Damon – My guess is the Tigers will get their Damon.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Our first look at closers for the 2010 fantasy baseball season, including some recent movees.  I already went over Billy Wagner to the Braves, Lindstrom to the Astros, Rafael Soriano to the Rays and Capps to the Nats.  Since then, Mike Gonzalez is a movee to Baltimore.  Bobby Cox was unable to get fully behind a lefty cl0ser, but that doesn’t mean Mike Gonzalez can’t find success with the Orioles.  The only major negative with Mike Gonzalez is I have to write out Mike Gonzalez’s entire name every time I mention Mike Gonzalez because it doesn’t sound right any other way.  It’s still real early in the preseason for closers.  Sometimes these battles aren’t decided until the last week of spring training (you still have time, Astros!).  So this is a like a Google Map of closers that might lead you down a road closed for construction.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Kelvim Escobar was sent to the bullpen.  His value goes from potentially good to potentially nothing.  Scioscia said Escobar will be pitching out of the bullpen for the rest of the season.  Scioscia also said Brandon Wood would start at shortstop two years ago and said Arredondo, the guy now in the minors, would be the closer and he said Rex Hudler’s got the best herb, when he wants to get wiggy with Figgy.  Escobar will probably start games again in a month or two.  But even if that is the case, he’s about as good to you now as those X-ray glasses you bought out of the back of a comic book when you were twelve.  Matt Palmer gets a boost in value, which is to say he actually has value now.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m in a bunch of leagues because I’m popular and smart. Feathered hair is coming back! It is? Yes, Grey said so! This fantasy baseball league is being hosted by RotoRob. (NOTE: It’s not RotorOB, RotOrOB or roTOROb.) After the pretty picture of my fantasy baseball team, I share with you never-before-seen thoughts I jotted down during the draft.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Back in early November, I said, “Gregg, Cubs Closer?”  Well, remove the question mark and call me Nostradumbass.  It’s not surprising at all to me that Marmol’s not going to be the closer to start the season.  There’s no reason in debating whether Piniella made the right decision.  Of course he didn’t.  Joking.  There’s points for both sides.  As I said the other day, do you wanna lose the game in the 8th or the 9th?  Either way, all you should concern yourself with is who is getting the saves.  The pickle here is Marmol is actually worth owning even if he only gets 5-10 saves all year.  So if you drafted Marmol, I’d hold him just to pad your pitching stats.  If you have Gregg, nice late pick in your draft.  You probably just fell into 35 saves.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in spring training for fantasy baseball:

Brandon Morrow – Says he’s the closer.  And so it is.  You know what?  Every single one of you sitting around reading this blog for the last month could’ve stepped up and said you’d be the closer for the Mariners.  But what did you do?  You watered down the ketchup, made sure everyone’s coffee was hot and passive-aggressively stuck broken glass under your eighteen-year-old boss’s car tires.  You had to know with the top option being Miguel Batista that the job could’ve been yours.  Now march into your job and tell them you’re the new fry cook.  You got hot oil skillz!  Morrow’ll be fine as the closer if he can get/stay healthy.  Not sure what they’re going to do with Chad Cordero.  Maybe they can turn him into the starter Morrow should’ve been.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Alas, for now the Rays are Price-less.  (To recall a conversation I once had with my grandmother after she threw out my 1986 Sportsflic Jose Canseco rookie card, “That card was priceless!”  “Yeah, because it wasn’t worth shit.”)  Frankly, I’m surprised the Rays sent David Price down.  I thought he would start in the bullpen then get starts by the end of April/beginning of May, accumulating 150 innings.  Jason Hammel and Niemann!

Please, blog, may I have some more?