Admit it, you stay at the Luxor because it’s adjacent to the Mandalay Bay at a third of the price (and they have inclinators instead of elevators!). You see a bottle of Acme Store Brand Tomato Sauce Medley and you think that’s not aftertaste, that’s a persistence of flavor! Photoshop — bleh! You have scissors and paste! Cellphone? You can yell really loud. This, friends, is the economy of our times, so why not use some of that thriftiness towards fantasy baseball? Sure, everyone would like to have ten first round picks and start Miguel Cabrera at their Utility spot, but it’s just not feasible. You need some cheap alternatives. Anyway, here’s some players that are going very early in fantasy baseball drafts and their cheap alternatives:
Adrian Gonzalez – Yes, his homers have been trending up, but he plays his home games in Petco and his average is trending down. He also needed almost 700 plate appearances last year to accumulate 36 HRs.
Cheap Alternative: Paul Konerko will match Gonzalez in power and be a lot closer in average than you might think.
Brian Roberts – Hey, it’s Grey’s favorite whipping boy. In 600 ABs last year Roberts hit .296 with 9 home runs and 40 steals.
Cheap Alternative: Kaz Matsui hit .293 with 6 home runs and 20 steals in only 375 at-bats. If Matsui can avoid Jockular Sphincteritis, he should be fine late in a draft.
Chris Davis – What no one knew in Port Charles is Chris Davis is really Bill James’s biological son fathered out of wedlock with the au pair. On next week’s General Hospital!
Derek Jeter – Shocker, I know. I wonder if he was butt ugly and got no poontang if he would be as overrated as he is. Wait, let’s ask Khalil Greene.
Cheap Alternative: Anyone. I keed. Mike Aviles will match Jeter’s numbers. So if you think you need Jeter on your team, take a deep breath and grab Aviles eight rounds later.
Ichiro Suzuki – Itchy-san is projected for 7/.315/35. Those numbers make me want Brian Roberts, at least he’s at 2nd base. Seriously, you people are going to give me an ulcer. Why do you want to see Grey suffer? Why?!
Cheap Alternative: Cameron Maybin. Sure, he may hit .260, but whatever. Learn to cope, it’ll help you later in life.
Now it’s time for everyone’s favorite game, Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers. Ding, ding, ding… Bassoon… Triangle! Triangle! Triangle! Cow bell! More cow bell! One last ding. So in this installment of Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers we’re going to look at some 2nd basemen numbers and see if we can figure out why one is touted more than the other. BTW, this is the first installment of Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers, I’m only acting like I’ve done it before because I’m gooftarded.
Player A – In 395 Pre-All Star at-bats, 67/9/47/.314/9
Player B – In 372 Pre-All Star at-bats, 53/15/58/.280/19
Player A is Dustin Pedroia, Player B is Brandon Phillips.
Player A – Last season, 103/21/87/.285/6
Player B – Last season, 86/21/99/.286/1
Player A is Mark DeRosa, Player B is Garrett Atkins
Player A – In 77 at-bats in September, 15/2/22/.416
Player B – Cherrypicking this player’s best month of April where they had 107 at-bats, 16/3/17/.280/2
Player A is Asdrubal Cabrera, Player B is Orlando Hudson
Player A – In 340 ABs last season, 43/3/37/.306/11 — Largely drafted.
Player B – In 298 ABs last season, 46/3/28/.245/17 — Largely undrafted and rightfully so.
Player C – In 375 ABs last season, 58/6/33/.293/20 — Largely undrafted.
Player A is Howie Kendrick, Player B is Luis Castillo, Player C is Kaz Matsui.
Player A – In 120 at-bats Post-All Star, 18/4/13/.258/3
Player B – In 175 at-bats Post-All Star, 31/6/22/.263/6
Player A is Ian Kinsler, Player B is Rickie Weeks.
We’ve already gone over the top 10 for 2009 fantasy baseball and top 20 for 2009 fantasy baseball. Other positions’ top 20 lists can be found under 2009 fantasy baseball rankings. Now here we are with the top 20 2nd basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball. While going through this top twenty list of 2nd basemen something stood out at me. The position is extremely shallow. You really don’t want to have to resort to the bottom half of this list, but this list is actually deeper than the top twenty shortstop list that is coming later in the week. Scary, right? As with the previous lists, tiers are mentioned within the player blurbs. My 2009 fantasy baseball projections are also noted. Here’s the list of every player who has multiple position eligibility. Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball:
3. Brandon Phillips – You’re in a new tier here, one that goes to Uggla. I call this tier, “If the spot is right, draft one of these guys, but they’re probably going to be overrated.” I really took a left turn on this top 20 list. I’ve never been a fan of Brandon Phillips, but I see lots of people zigging, so what did I do? Zagged! Barring injury, he can get to 25/25 while raising his average a bit from last year. I’d let the rest of the schmohawks in your league grab Pedroia, Brian Roberts or Uggla while you grab Phillips. (BTW, I already covered Brandon Phillips in a different post.) 2009 Projections: 90/25/80/.270/25
4. Alexei Ramirez – Another guy I bumped up higher than most fantasy baseball ‘perts. At the end of 2009, Alexei Ramirez is going to be above Dustin Pedrioa on top 20 2nd basemen lists. Why are you drafting your 2009 fantasy team like it’s 2008? Are you in college in Boston and you bet your friend you would draft Pedroia if he finished a whole bottle of Mad Dog 20/20? Pedroia had a great 2008, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to be incredible in 2009. Good, but not incredible. 2009 Projections: 95/22/90/.285/15
5. Dustin Pedroia – I was pushing Scrappy Doo real hard last year in the preseason. I was telling people he can be a cheap 15/15 player. And he can still go 15/15, but why is he suddenly being pushed by others like he’s King Shinola of Siam? Did King Shinola die and make Pedroia King? I don’t think King Shinola died. Pedroia won an MVP in about the stankest of years for MVP candidates ever. People taking him in the 2nd round of 2009 drafts need to chillax. 2009 Projections: 110/15/75/.310/15
6. Brian Roberts – It’s no secret that I didn’t like Brian Roberts last year. Guess what? Still don’t. 2009 Projections: 105/10/50/.285/30
7. Dan Uggla – Uggla’s a solid, low average power source. He’s like mini-Dunn, which sounds like what an insensitive guy would tell his girlfriend if he wanted a break. “We’re not breaking up, we’re just mini-Dunn.” 2009 Projections: 85/30/100/.255/5
8. Robinson Cano – We’re in a new tier here. This tier goes until Kendrick. This tier I call, “Good value before we get to total Crapolanco.” 2009 Projections: 80/18/85/.310/3
9. Kelly Johnson – Kelly Johnson, Jose Lopez and Mark DeRosa are a coin flip. You want the Braves schmohawk who’s going to give you 14/10 or you want the Indians or Mariners schmohawk who is going to give you 15/5. It’s called Schmohawk’s Choice. 2009 Projections: 90/14/65/.285/10
10. Jose Lopez – Looking at cursory numbers at the end of November had me thinking Lopez was going to be a great sleeper for 2009. As I dug deeper, I realized he’s not really due to take a huge jump forward. Though he could repeat last year’s numbers, which makes him moderately valuable. Kinda like your nana’s broach. Projections: 80/15/85/.280/5
11. Mark DeRosa – I’m seeing him a lot higher on other 2009 fantasy baseball rankings lists so take necessary precautions to not overrate him. A career year at 33-years-old screams outlier. 2009 Projections: 75/15/70/.280/5
12. Rickie Weeks – Call me a stewpid bizzlenitch. I don’t care. Old habits die hard. I believe in leaving at least a $3 tip even if the bill is under $10, I believe you should live with a girl before you get married and I believe in Rickie Weeks. Maybe I’m a dope. 2009 Projections: 90/15/60/.250/20
13. Howie Kendrick – What are we to expect from Kendrick? A) Injuries B) Blah power C) A little speed D) Anything’s better than Polanco. 2009 Projections: 70/7/55/.310/10 and two 15-day DL trips.
14. Placido Polanco – This is a new tier and it goes from Crapolanco until Orlando Hudson. I call this tier, “Punt.” Seriously, why are you drafting Polanco? What’s he going to do for you? Take a flier on Kendrick or wait to take a flier on some late round doode. 2009 Projections: 90/7/55/.310/7
15. Kaz Matsui – In 2008, Kaz Matsui had a usable season even if he had to wear diapers for half the season. Sorta like Jamie Moyer. 2009 Projections: 65/5/40/.280/20
16. Freddy Sanchez - See Crapolanco. Not even sure why I’m wasting my time writing up this schmohawk. 2009 Projections: 80/10/60/.285
17. Orlando Hudson – O-Dog is a poor man’s Polanco. Blah! 2009 Projections: 75/10/45/.280/5
18. Mike Aviles – Here’s the final tier of 2nd basemen. I’ll call this tier, “A-Ha! Take on me.” Aviles won’t bat .325 again; he probably won’t bat .300. In the end, he might not end up much better than 10/10, but he’s got some mystery to him. The unknown is better than the known when you’re this deep into the 2nd basemen pool. 2009 Projections: 80/10/55/.295/10
19. Blake DeWitt – I already covered him in a Blake DeWitt, 2009 Fantasy Sleeper post. You’re much better off taking DeWitt late instead of Polanco, Matsui or Hudson. 2009 Projections: 60/14/75/.275/7
20. Emmanuel Burriss/Eugenio Velez – Whichever schmohawk wins the Giants 2nd base job as long as it’s not Kevin Frandsen. With this pick, you’re going for SAGNOF. 2009 Projections: A badonkadonk of steals.
After the top 20 2nd basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball, there’s a lot of names but two stand out:
Ian Stewart – I already went here in the Ian Stewart 2009 fantasy sleeper post. I could’ve put him up with Aviles, but I wanted to highlight him down here. Just make sure he’s eligible for 2nd base in your league. 2009 Projections: 65/17/80/.265/5 (<–optimistic, but reachable)
Asdrubal Cabrera – With a first name that sounds like what Kaz Matsui was suffering from in the beginning of 2008, it’s easy to overlook Asdrubal Cabrera for 2009 fantasy baseball. But Asdrubal (hehe, I said “but Asdrubal”) had a solid 2nd half last year. Okay, this was preceded by him being sent down to the minors. Cabrera won’t put together his 2008 2nd half over an entire season in 2009, but he’s worth the flier over some of the above names cough Polanco cough. 2009 Projections: 90/12/60/.275/10
Yesterday Ramon Something-or-other hit two home runs. Ben Zobrist (a quarter Jewish, not too shabby!) hit two home runs. Others getting in on the action were Mike Hessman, Ryan Raburn (who sounds like he should be dating Angela Lansbury), Casey McGehee, Control Alt-Delete, Jeff Bailey, Francisco Cervelli, Cousin Jerri and lots of dudes that don’t even have pictures in their ESPN player profile so I just assume they all look like a young Micah Hoffpauir. With half of these guys, you don’t know if you’re watching your brother Rob or Disco Bob. You name ‘em, and they’re starting right now. Really bad time to be trying to make up some offense. Your absolute best bet right now is to load up on Brewers, Mets, Twins, White Sox and Phils. There is also something to starting guys that are going against these teams. Many times opposing managers will play their regulars as an unwritten law of sportsmanship. (Oh, no! I wrote it!) Finally, look for guys that are going for personal accomplishments. For instance, Mussina goes this Sunday for his 20th win. The Yankees and Mussina will give it their all on Sunday. Everyone else, there’s no saying if they’re going to start. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Mariano Rivera – Done for the year with a sore shoulder. I imagine Girardi’s so pissed at the mess Torre left him that he can’t even watch a movie that stars Paul Sorvino. Joba Chamberlain will close in Mariano’s place.
Pedro Martinez – Pedro really wanted to help the Mets in some big games. He’s not. It’s actually pretty depressing watching him pitch. He was incredible for some many years. Last night I kinda felt like I was watching him for the last time. Guys who carry around dwarfs aren’t supposed to go out like this!
Micah Hoffpauir – 5-for-5 with 2 HRs yesterday. He had a huge season at Triple-A this year and should see playing time this weekend. Definitely worth a look.
Scot Shields – Got the save yesterday and might get more this weekend as the Angels prepare for the playoffs.
Cliff Lee – Good chance he does NOT pitch on Sunday. (Supersized “not” is for our elderly readers. Hey, they’re showing Car 54, Where Are You? reruns! Ever notice how old people always specify when something is a rerun? Like we didn’t know a show that was off the air for 20 years wasn’t live.)
Mark Reynolds – Sets the strikeout record with 201 Ks. In the beginning of the year, Reynolds said he would not let striking out hinder his approach at the plate. Here’s the thing, Whiffie. 201 strikeouts kinda hinders your approach at the plate. Cust kayin’.
Anibal Sanchez – Lost his last start of the year to rain. Damn, Joba, stop dancing.
Troy Percival – Returned to action yesterday. Had this to say, “The run in from the bullpen is a bit much. Maybe we should bring back the bullpen cars.”
Yovani Gallardo – Did what was expected. Pitched well for 4 innings. Thankfully he didn’t reinjure himself. But there’s always the playoffs.
Carlos Gomez – 4-for-5 yesterday. Obviously he likes playing in April and September.
Kaz Matsui – 3-for-3 yesterday. He’s hit in 7 straight. Those chasing steals in these final days might wanna look at K-Mat aka Godzilla Jr.
Ichiro Suzuki – Supposedly some Mariners players wanted to knock Ichiro out. As in punch him and not stop. Here’s the story. Few things spring to mind — Point #1, All the players on that team and Ichiro is the one you want to beat up? The Mariners play the blame game as well as they play baseball. Point #2, Have any of them seen him run to first? Who was going to catch him? Carlos Silva? Which brings me back to point number #1. Beat up Carlos Silva! Point #3, Ichiro will crane kick your ass. Wax on, wax off, Jose Lopez.
Youuuuuuk hit two homers, Teix hit three home runs and, most importantly, Prince Fielder hit two home runs. Why do I say most importantly? Well, with Youuuuuuuuk, I have him in one of my cash leagues, so I really hope he keeps hitting bombs because I know he has no trade value. With that said, I don’t think he keeps hitting bombs. So two home runs were nice, but they are what they are. As for Teix, he had three HRs, 4 RBIs. 6 of 13 home runs this month, which bodes well for a guy who doesn’t get hot until after the All-Star break. So the three homers are good, but no one was too worried. As for Prince Fielder aka the guy who now eats 16 Boca Burgers a day, he is a guy that you NEED home runs from. So it’s great to see fatty boombalatty finally hitting them. With 8 in June, he can still have 20-something home runs by the All-Star break and no one will remember why they hated him for two months. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Albert Pujols – Looks like he’s returning this Thursday. Yesterday, I traded Pujols (and Mike Cameron) away for Sizemore. Not a slam dunk, but Sizemore is keeping pace in home runs with Pujols and I could use the steals. Cameron was a waiver pickup and would’ve been a drop with Sizemore anyway. Feel free to weigh-in (and mock me) in the comments. (I’m sure you will anyway.)
Shaun Marcum – Marcum heads to the DL and tea with Dr. James Andrews. (If Dr. James Andrews plays fantasy baseball, I can’t imagine anyone trades with him. “Hey, Dr. James here. Was wondering if you wanted to trade me Soria for Marcum.” Other owner, “Is Marcum going to be out longer than expected?” Dr. Jim pauses for a moment then, “No.”)
Randy Wolf – Wolf in Petco 10 Ks, 2 ER. His Home/Road splits actually made me laugh. Home 4-1/2.46/44 IP — Road 1-4/5.84/44.2 IP
Justin Duchscherer – One-time great A’s middle reliever now becoming a great starter. 1.99 ERA now after going 7 2/3 IP of 1 ER ball. How many Cy Youngs could Chad Bradford won?
Ian Snell – Today Snell is going to have an MRI. Izzy blows five saves in a row — goes to the DL. Victor Martinez goes two months without a home run, hits the DL. Snell has a 5.99 ERA through almost half a season? He’s headed to the DL too. But this is not the Disabled List; this is the Disgraceful List.
Kaz Matsui – Strained his hamstring. Rumor is that he injured himself once in Japan during pregame calisthenics. When asked how this compared with his injury earlier this year, Kaz said through a translator, “This one is frustrating but the one earlier this year was a real pain in the ass.”
Manny Parra – Parra got the win, but didn’t look that great doing it. He’s walking too many. Oh, well. What do I mean, “Oh, well?” Parra’s a fifth fantasy starter. You can deal with inconsistency from a fifth fantasy starter. Jurrjens gets hit? No biggie. Cueto needs his eye cut so he can see? He gets cut. Carlos Silva gets knocked around– Wait, why is Carlos Silva on your team?!
Mike Gonzalez – Gave up 3 ER. Braves are probably pining for Kerry Ligtenberg. (Meanwhile, the KKK pines for John Rocker.)
Jeff Clement – Hit a HR off Mike Gonzalez. If you’re struggling at catcher, there’s no reason to not take the Clement flier.
Chad Billingsley – My “I (heart) Billingsley” tattoo has people coming up to me saying, “You’ll shoot your eye out,” but Chad and I know who it’s for.
Ian Stewart – Optioned down to Triple-A. Now that all non-Kinsler Ians suck, when is baseball going to enter the age of Seamus?
Clint Barmes – He was the one that replaced Ian Stewart. Worth a grab for a MI spot if you’re hurting (like you just fell down stairs carrying a dead deer.)
Vicente Padilla – With 10 wins now, he is on pace for 20. Improbable? We’d say so. The last Ranger to win 20 games in a season was Rick Helling in 1998. Since then, only a couple Ranger pitchers have won 20 games combining seasons. Only 15 more to go Brandon McCarthy!
Johnny Cueto – When a rookie starter gets called up, he goes through a cycle. First, he wows the league, can get everyone out because no one is familiar with his stuff. Then the league catches up with the pitcher and he hits an adjustment period and is knocked around by the league. Finally, the pitcher settles in and becomes what he is. So when Cueto pitches well against the Yanks, the natural thing is to assume he’s settled in and this is what he is. The problem is, the Yanks are in a different league so this outing may have been a blip. The good news, he’s only surrendered more than three runs once in the last eight starts. So is he or isn’t he out of the adjustment period? Um… Yeah. Maybe.
Jered Weaver – Beat Hamels, but didn’t outpitch him. Seems at this point that his really hot start when he first came up is the anomaly and not the last year and a half. That’s just the Weaver way.
Justin Verlander – After pitching at Petco, Verlander put on Chris Young’s jersey and tried to sneak into the Padres rotation. “I took Dramamine – I’m not dizzy anymore!” On a side note, Brian Giles called up Jim Edmonds and asked him to smuggle him out.
