The Disgraceful List claimed two more yesterday, Josh Beckett and Grady Sizemore. Neither is a big surprise. Closest Grady Sizemore came to taking off this year was in his amateur Playgirl shoot. Even when he hit a home run, the rain washed it away. The Indians are talking about knee surgery for Grady. Turns out Tom Sizemore isn’t the only Sizemore with a joint problem. I’d DL Sizemore until more news surfaces, but, if recent history is any indication, new news (stutter much?) will be bad news. As for Josh Beckett, I’m more optimistic. He can miss a few weeks, put this back injury behind him (literally!) and return. Will he be effective on his return? What, I’m Nostradumbass? I don’t know, but it’s possible he has a decent half season. I wouldn’t trade for him, but I would pick him up off waivers and stash him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before I jump into the roundup, quick bit of business. No one likes to have to ask for shizz, but this voting thing at the Refresh Challenge is for a good cause. To up the stakes, we’re donating a $100 gift card to Wal-Mart. All you have to do is vote and comment “Razzball” over at the voting site. The comment names will be chosen at random on Monday and the winner will be announced here. That link again is http://pep.si/abEtbm — Wow, I feel like George Clooney. Anyway II, here’s the roundup:
Trevor Hoffman – Probably should be headed to the Disgraceful List but in the meantime the Brewers say he won’t pitch for a few days while he works on his mechanics. Carlos Villanueva and Todd Coffey are the pickups, in that order. Or the reverse order if you’re dyslexic. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Stealing is like borrowing until it becomes permanent. I don’t steal; it’s immoral, reprehensible and I’m really out of shape so I’d probably get caught. The fact of the matter is that these guys aren’t for everyone. They shouldn’t be, but they will give you the all coveted stat: steals. These players should only be considered if you are in need of steals after your draft, 12 teams or deeper. In H2H leagues, these players are especially important if you’re trying beat an opponent and only need a few quick “pick me up” steals. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Who doesn’t love to show their frenemies their fantasy baseball teams in October and say, “Look at what I won with?” Then they see Juan Uribe and they’re confounded, “How did you win with Juan Uribe?” That is the secret to fantasy baseball in September. If you win your league, I guarantee someone will look at your team at the end of the year and be completely confused by some of the guys you own. Cliff Pennington? Robinson Tejeda? Did the other teams in your league quit? Please, blog, may I have some more?
Daisuke Matsuzaka returned from his bout of Terriblitis to pitch effectively vs. the Angels. 6 IP, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks. He almost looked as good as when he won the MVP of the World Baseball Classic. Ah, yes, Selig, it’s a brilliant idea. We’re a global game now. Next time I’m in Italy, my paisans and I will talk all about baseball over our Chianti. I’m not a huge fan of Dice-K (the walks), but he was solid in his rehab stint and he does get the Orioles next. That’s not a terrible match up. I wouldn’t own him, but we can still get along if you do. One love! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jake Peavy – The on again, on again, then off again, then briefly on, then briefly off, then on again comeback is on again for Saturday vs. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ah, May. The time when trees are in full bloom, birds return to sing a new spring song, and you look at your fantasy baseball team and think, Holy Crikey I’m stuck in eighth place and my top three picks all suck and my bullpen is a mess and boy oh boy do I need saves. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Admit it, you stay at the Luxor because it’s adjacent to the Mandalay Bay at a third of the price (and they have inclinators instead of elevators!). You see a bottle of Acme Store Brand Tomato Sauce Medley and you think that’s not aftertaste, that’s a persistence of flavor! Photoshop — bleh! You have scissors and paste! Cellphone? You can yell really loud. This, friends, is the economy of our times, so why not use some of that thriftiness towards fantasy baseball? Sure, everyone would like to have ten first round picks and start Miguel Cabrera at their Utility spot, but it’s just not feasible. You need some cheap alternatives. Anyway, here’s some players that are going very early in fantasy baseball drafts and their cheap alternatives:
Adrian Gonzalez – Yes, his homers have been trending up, but he plays his home games in Petco and his average is trending down. He also needed almost 700 plate appearances last year to accumulate 36 HRs. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Now it’s time for everyone’s favorite game, Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers. Ding, ding, ding… Bassoon… Triangle! Triangle! Triangle! Cow bell! More cow bell! One last ding. So in this installment of Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers we’re going to look at some 2nd basemen numbers and see if we can figure out why one is touted more than the other. BTW, this is the first installment of Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers, I’m only acting like I’ve done it before because I’m gooftarded. Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’ve already gone over the top 10 for 2009 fantasy baseball and top 20 for 2009 fantasy baseball. Other positions’ top 20 lists can be found under 2009 fantasy baseball rankings. Now here we are with the top 20 2nd basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday Ramon Something-or-other hit two home runs. Ben Zobrist (a quarter Jewish, not too shabby!) hit two home runs. Others getting in on the action were Mike Hessman, Ryan Raburn (who sounds like he should be dating Angela Lansbury), Casey McGehee, Control Alt-Delete, Jeff Bailey, Francisco Cervelli, Cousin Jerri and lots of dudes that don’t even have pictures in their ESPN player profile so I just assume they all look like a young Micah Hoffpauir. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Youuuuuuk hit two homers, Teix hit three home runs and, most importantly, Prince Fielder hit two home runs. Why do I say most importantly? Well, with Youuuuuuuuk, I have him in one of my cash leagues, so I really hope he keeps hitting bombs because I know he has no trade value. Please, blog, may I have some more?