Hey, I can bench Eric Hosmer! That was the first thing I thought when I picked up Matt Adams. First stop for Hosmer is my bench, next stop waivers. Yesterday, our prospect writer Scott said this about Adams, “Despite the impressive audition (in Spring Training), St.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Justin Smoak
When Heath Bell looked like garbage on Sunday, Frank Francisco returned serve with three of his own runs. It was like watching a tennis match between Jon Lovitz and that guy from Felicity. Rather than getting the hook by his manager, Frank-Frank was ejected for arguing balls and strikes. The ump should’ve told him, “With your stuff, I wouldn’t have the balls to throw strikes either.” Jon Rauch is next in line here, but, before the ink can dry on his neck, he could lose the job too. Though, I would grab him, in the non-sexual way. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ike Davis – Sat out yesterday with flu-like symptoms. Like. Oh. My. Gahd. I hopes it’s not Valley Fever.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Yoenis Cespedes homered in yesterday’s second day of kinda real baseball played about six hours before I wake up. I wonder where Cespedes is being drafted now. When Rudy and I took our giant beach balls to early March drafts and took Cespedes in a bunch of drafts, he was going cheap. I wonder if now all those other ‘perts are suddenly stepping up because others are excited about him. I wonder if everyone else is a Monday morning quarterback with their advice. I wonder if Yoenis will hit 30 mistake pitch homers. I wonder if he’ll make adjustments and hit for a decent average too. I wonder how this would sound read by Morgan Freeman. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in spring training (and real baseball) for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Bartolo Colon – 8 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
In the first real game of the season (it was real, right? I looked for highlights, but ESPN was showing a Red Sox split-squad game instead). From the box score, I heart Brandon McCarthy. His line was 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners and 3 Ks. Yeah, the Mariners aren’t very good at hitting, but a quality start is a quality start. Brandon McCarthy celebrated by taking out a Tokyo girl with red streaks in her hair who lives on the other side of the tracks. Sorry Peking Ducky! I tried to get Rudy to draft McCarthy in one of our leagues on Tuesday night, and was disappointed to see he went to someone else for $9. I have his projections down as 8-11/3.50/1.17/140. Last year, his home ERA and WHIP was 2.65 and 1.11. He may not strike out many hitters, but there’s not many pitchers late I’d trust to actually help my WHIP. Anyway, here’s what else we saw in spring training (and real baseball) for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Justin Smoak – 0-for-5. That two day pick up has worked out well so far! While he’s at it, maybe he can hit a line drive into Florida and injure Anibal Sanchez.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Did you know that Vapors song, Turning Japanese, is about masturbation? Because when said act is done, a man squints, hence turning Japanese. Things that are offensive aren’t always racist, but, in this case, they are. Too bad The Vapors follow up single, “When I Really Have To Pee, I Dance Like A Cherokee” never climbed the charts. So this morning, Selig, on advice from his toupee, is taking the greatest day, Opening Day, and putting it up against infomercials and a three hour loop of the Emergency Broadcast Network. Why the hell is Opening Day at 3:05 AM Pacific Standard Time, you ask. Because Selig is a f*cking idiot. That asterisk is a U, by the way. In case that wasn’t clear. Way to excite the next generation of baseball fans. Take Opening Day 6,000 miles west and have the two worst teams play. Could we not get the Padres to play the Washington Generals in Cape Horn? Anyway, for fantasy baseball, pick up anyone who may play, especially in H2H leagues. They’re all fair game. If I were you, I’d focus on the hitters. From what I’ve read, Japanese ballparks are smaller….
Please, blog, may I have some more?The top 10 and top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball are in the bag, along with the top 20 catchers and your receipt for a $30 massage valued at $50. Thanks, Groupon! Today, Razzhands, we look at the top 20 1st basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball. All this shizz can be found under the 2012 fantasy baseball rankings. Don’t believe me? Click the link. This top 20 list of 1st basemen is bursting at the seams like you at a Hometown Buffet. Speaking of gorging yourself, I’d like a top 1st baseman on my team in 2012, but it’s a little different year than last year. There’s actually only 5 top first basemen then caveats on number 6 (Te(i)x) through 9, then there’s some interesting flyers a bit later. I have a feeling 2013′s rankings are going to see major shifts with some guys that are lower on this ranking sheet moving up. Should be a fun year for first basemen and one where you can take a bit more risk than previous years. This list will get additional 1st basemen added to it in the way of sleeper posts. As with the other rankings, the first basemen are broken up into tiers with my projections included. Anyway, here’s the top 20 1st basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball:
1.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Turns out Leo Nunez isn’t exactly who he said he was. He’s been playing under an assumed name. His real name is Juan Carlos Oviedo, he’s a Latin 29 and he’s pen pals with Keyser Söze. He enjoys snorkeling through Atlantis, talking to his giant rabbit Harvey and hunting Sasquatch. With the Marlins’ discovery of Leo the Lyin’, he was put on the restricted list. One time I was put on a restricted list at a nightclub because I had a few too many tequila shots, danced with someone’s girlfriend, who I shouldn’t have, and bam!
Please, blog, may I have some more?Matt Holliday sat out yesterday with a hand-thinga-ma-injury — a tendon or a ligament. Sounds like he’s going to miss the rest of the season, but for right now he’s only out for four (stutterer!) to five days. I’ll tell you what I’m not gonna miss…. Matt Holliday. A .295 average, 1 steal and 22 homers? You know what that is? A good season for Andre Ethier. It’s not a good season for Matt Holliday. Matt Holliday does more than that. At least in my mind. I’m not in your mind so that’s all I have to go on. On the bright side, this injury didn’t cost a moth their life.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Jason Heyward sat again yesterday in favor of Jose Constanza. I don’t want to shout fire in the theater of Razzball, but this isn’t good. Constanza is making Heyward look like the best seller at the jerk store. Actually, Heyward was kinda doing it to himself.
Please, blog, may I have some more?To discuss Francisco Liriano at Razzball HQ, I gathered the Random Italicized Voice, MR. AL CAPS and Larry King. After eating me out of house and home — “The selection was pretty meager. Freezer pops, really?” “NOT A THING TO DRINK,” “Anyone see where I put down my teeth?” – we talked about Liriano. He started off in the preseason in my top 10 starters for 2011. “That call looks as pretty as Rocky Dennis.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
