Carlos Zambrano moves to the bullpen.  Whaaaa???  Oh.  Wait, what?  Somewhere, Dusty Baker just tipped his “Crazy Manager Move” hat to Sweet Lou.  Dusty, “After Harang complained of arm soreness, I needed him for another 140 pitches the next day, so I fashioned a pitching arm out of rubber bands and a dead giraffe.  Some saw that as crazy, but this Big Z move takes the cake.”  Are the Cubs building a new and improved frankencloser, Carlos Zambarmol?  Close game, two men on, starter’s tiring… You want Carlos Zambrano entering the game or leaving it?  That’s not even rhetorical.  That’s common sense, isn’t it?  As Lou ever seen Zambrano pitch?  This is the guy you want coming into pressure situations?  Wow, what a move.  I want to say there’s no way this move lasts, but Zambrano’s also not that valuable to wait it out.  Lose him in fantasy like Sweet Lou lost his mind.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Alfonso Soriano – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and he hit his 2nd homer as he bats .327 on the year.  He also has one more steal than Alcides Escobar.  Not as glamorous as he used to be, but should get to a 25/10 year, assuming the knees he borrowed from The Mummy hold up.

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Brian Fuentes hurt himself lifting weights.  Can’t he just take HGH like every other freakin’ major leaguer.  Hayzeus Cristo, my closer luck has been terrible so far this year.  The closerousel has made me really nauseous.  Forget SAGNOF, more like CRYNOF, which acronyms to nothing but has “cry” in it.  Fernando Rodney is the immediate pickup, but, if your leagues are like mine, he’s gone already.  I grabbed Kevin Jepsen where I could for the chance that he might sneak in and grab a save or two.  Fuentes says he’ll be back as soon as his DL stint is up, but, if Rodney runs with the job, don’t be surprise to see Scioscia call shenanigans.  SABCS — Scioscia Always Be Calling Shenanigans.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Kevin Gregg – Officially takes over the closer role.  Gregg will probably drop a turd nugget in his next game and lose the job back to Frasor.

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Sometimes when a player gets hurt, I feel bad if I told you to buy into them.  I’m like, “Shove your emotions into your cankles, you sissy!”  Alas, my inner Native American watching someone litter in a 70′s commercial comes out.  A tear forms in my eye and rolls into my mustache.  Then I leave it there to remind me of my fallen fantasy baseball comrades.  This mustache holds a lot of tears.  But when a player that I warned you against like Aaron Hill heads off to the DL with tightness in his hamstring, I do a little dance like MC Skat Cat.  You know the kid in high school that wore a helmet all day that you used to make fun of?  Okay, now remember when you were alone in the hallway and that same kid walk passed you and you said hello to him because no one else was around?  Today, that kid is Aaron Hill’s owners.  Save your ridicule until their back is turned.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jimmy Rollins – Having an MRI on his right calf strain.  Mr.

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J.J. Hardy is an easy buy, which isn’t the same as an easy sell.  Hardy’s not exactly promoting a yum-yum juicy chicken burger with a side of 30 homers and 20 steals.  He’s cheap.  His expectations are low.  He’s 27-years-old and averaged 83/25/77/.280 at 24 and 25.  Last year, he didn’t tune and check out with Khalil Greene, going off to mullet all over.  Hardy started the year dealing with back issues and he never recovered.  If you invite Hardy onto your team, you don’t need to put plastic sheets on the bed and hide all the good flatware.  With O-Dog currently hurt and his grasp on the #2 spot tenuous, Hardy could be next in line for that spot.  If so, 160+ R/RBI is definitely reachable and the power is already there.  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Ervin Santana – I was saying the other day something like you should move to the exit row.  I didn’t say exit.  I was preparing my exit.  Now when I see he’s only owned in 26% of ESPN leagues, I’m beginning to think people bailed on him too soon.  This isn’t a buy, this is a hold.  Format constraints and all that.

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The Rangers bullpen costing C.J. Wilson the win is like ten thousand spoons and all you need is a knife.  Maybe Frank-Frank didn’t like Wilson cutting into his save chances last year.  I was skeptical of Wilson moving into the rotation.  I said to myself, “Grey, you’re handsome.”  Wait, wrong conversation.  I remember it now.  “Grey, why not start Neftali Feliz?  Why they fussing with C.J.

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While the merits of what someone is hitting or not hitting in Spring Training can be debated, where they are hitting or not hitting is important to look at.  First, I want you to refresh your pretty little brain with the impact of lineup position on Runs and RBIs.  Welcome back!  Anyway, here’s some players whose value dips or shoots up (easy, Hamilton) due to 2010 lineup position:

Alexei Ramirez – He tends to start the season slow and he’s slated to bat ninth.  That’s a recipe for yawnstipation.

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Many things have changed since November when we kicked off the 2010 fantasy baseball sleeper posts.  For one, the date.  For two, some of these guys are no longer that sleepery.  For three, hut-hut-hike!  As long as you don’t reach too far, sleepers can make all the difference on your team.  You’re not grabbing a sleeper in the first round.  You’re not like, “Hey, Drunky Cabrera, you walk that line, I’m going with Garrett Jones.”  You should have a solid foundation in the first eight to ten rounds, then mix some sleepers in after that.  If you click on the names for these players, there’s entire posts about them with their 2010 projections.  Anyway, here’s some sleepers for 2010 fantasy baseball:

Alcides Escobar – Forty steals from Alcides wouldn’t be surprising.  He’s especially nice if Web Gems is a category in your league.

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Even if you draft one or two outfielders in the top 100 (which you should), you’ll still need to identify some late bargains.   The top 20, 40, 60 and 80 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball can be found under the 2010 fantasy baseball rankings.  This is by no means all the outfielders I’d draft for one of my teams.  This is a list of guys that will go late and could provide some healthy returns.  Where applicable, click on the player’s name to read more about them and to see their 2010 projections.  Anyway, here’s some outfielders to target for 2010 fantasy baseball:

Jay Bruce – Bruce is actually a good case study for someone who wants to see how long it takes a player to go from being a hyped rookie to actually producing.  Bruce burst on the scene in 2008, then bust on the scene in 2009 and now can actually start producing.

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After the top 20 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball, guess what we have here?  The top 40 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball.  That’s right, Wonderful just gave birth to Awesome.  Wanna hear something even awesomier?  I’m going to turn this to 60 then 80.  Hopefully I don’t blow my amp.  The hardest part about writing these 2010 fantasy baseball rankings posts is writing this opening.  Trying to make the clerical stuff sound less clerical, ya know?  Actually, when I point it out, it gets more clerical.  As with other rankings, where I see tiers beginning and ending are mentioned along with my projections.  Anyway, here’s the top 40 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball:

20.

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Julio Borbon can steal 40-plus bases for your 2010 fantasy baseball team.  I really shouldn’t even have to say more.  And a lot of you probably won’t even read what else I write, especially the readers that found this because they searched Google for “Borbon fantasy” after hallucinations from drinking too much Wild Turkey.  Alas, I shall continue.  Last year, Julio Borbon hit .312 in 157 ABs.  As I tell the ladies, that seems like a small sample size but it’s not.  He should be in the .300 range in 2010.  Next, he stole 19 bases in more or less two months of full duty.  So 40 bases really isn’t that much of a long shot.  Emilio Bonifacio’s April 2009 comes to mind when I think of Borbon.  Borbon might steal 10 bases in April alone and be owned in all but the shallowest of ESPN leagues that are already abandoned.  (Don’t worry, Bonifacio’s May through September doesn’t come to mind.)  So Borbon’s SAGNOF!, got it.  But why is Julio Borbon a 2010 fantasy baseball sleeper?

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