The A’s promoted Chris Carter.  Too bad Chris Carter wasn’t around when Mulder was pitching for the A’s.  Then they could’ve had Scully call the game.  Chris Berman looked at his stats and says, “All Chris Carter does is hit home runs!” which means he’ll kill your average, won’t steal bases, and probably won’t help your runs and RBIs. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?