Alfonso Soriano is out indefinitely with knee problems. Backdate this news three months. Al-So is beginning to look like every bit of his Latin 33 age. A real *pinkie to mouth* Al-so ran. I’d drop Soriano in all leagues. So it’s Jakie Foxx time, right?! Since Soriano’s been gone, Sam Fuld (no power, light speed) got two starts, Bobby Scales (minor league journeyman) got two starts, Fox hasn’t had one start. In other news, Jake Fox slept with Piniella’s wife. As for Grady Sizemore… Early last week I said Sizemore’s injury would shut him down sooner than later. Sooner happened over the weekend. Grady’s done for the season and the Indians will go with Michael Brantley. Hey, ain’t that the guy from Riverdance?
Please, blog, may I have some more?J.P. Howell
Evan Longoria went 0-for-4 yesterday. He’s been kinda terrible for about three months now. Man, third base is a minefield. Now I’m not putting Longoria in the Wright Sucks Then Gets Conked On The Head box. No, he hasn’t been nearly that bad. But two separate months of an under .240 average and two months of zero steals and tw0 months of 1 steal and this sentence has nearly as many ands as, “In the saying, “Fish-and-Chips,” it’s necessary to have a hyphen between “fish” and “and,” and “and” and “chips.” I’m not ready to proclaim where Longoria should be drafted next year. I’m Grey and I make proclamations!
Please, blog, may I have some more?It’s good to be past the trading deadline. The closers that kept their job feel woobie-safe. Pull down the Murphy bed, Qualls is here to stay! You might be right, random italicized voice. Don’t forget, closers still find a way to lose their job. In the past week, Downs is down, Jenks looks jenky, Frank-Frank is a baby sneeze away from another stint on the DL, I fully expect Lindstrom to get back in the closer picture within two weeks and Nathan seems about as safe as they come and yet, he’s still just a closer. Look at the ground with your forward facing eyes and put some drops in the eyes in the back of your head. In other words, don’t settle in. Sleep is the cousin of death. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
$12 Salads
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Jay Bruce owners got their first bit of good news from him as he fractured his wrist. This is like when you’re in a terrible relationship that you can’t get out of because you’re scared to be alone, then the other person comes home and says they’re leaving you. In 12 teams or shallower and non-keeper leagues, I’d remove Jay Bruce from the salamander and chuck him. Even if he comes back, he wasn’t hitting when his wrist bone was connected to his forearm bone. As for keepers, I thought Bruce would be a good sleeper candidate for next year. Now with the nature of his injury, I’m not so sure. If he needs surgery, it’ll be a much longer process.
Please, blog, may I have some more?In this month’s closer look, let’s discuss trading for closers. Now before people think my battleship has sunk, I’m not saying to pay top dollar for closers. But with us heading into July, it should be pretty clear how badly you need saves. Luckily, saves are one of the categories (steals are another) where you can make up ground quickfast. If you’re ten or more saves behind a pack of people and can gain three or more points with an additional closer or two, then you should be thinking about trading for a couple. I’d look to trade one player from your strengths for two closers. Think Shields for two donkey-corns. Or a donkey-corn and a brain freeze. It really depends on your strengths and weaknesses. And since saves do come in bunches, if you’re finding yourself picking up plenty of ground in saves, then in August, you can trade away a closer or two for a different piece. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
$12 Salads
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?
Please, blog, may I have some more?James Lipton recently sat down with Stephen Strasburg and when he asked him what he thought of becoming a Nat, Stephen Strasburg said a’la Brando in On the Waterfront, “Actaaaaaa!!!” Stephen Strasburg is THE BEST PITCHER EVER. (Caps were provided by Scott Boras.) The hype and superlatives of Strasburg have been spewed across the interwebs, so allow me to give you some perspective. The last seven number one draft picks were Delmon Young, Matt Bush, Justin Upton, Luke Hochevar, David Price, Tim Beckham and Strasburg. One guy in those seven is currently helping you. One guy could help you. One guy grabbed $3.15 million and opened a shaved ice stand in Acapulco. In 1996, Kris Benson was presumably the best pitcher to ever toe the rubber coming out of college with a 204/27 K/BB ratio. In 1999, Alfredo Amezaga was drafted one pick before Albert Pujols. I think Strasburg will help your fantasy baseball team at some point. I don’t think he’s helping you this year. In deep keeper leagues, I’d grab Strasburg now. He’ll be a Nat sooner versus later, but that’s only because the Nats number one pitcher is John Lannan. In one year leagues, wait until he’s called up. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brad Lidge – Headed to the DL. Man, who else strikes out more than a batter an inning, yet looks so vunerable to a meltdown? I mean, this doode literally will strikeout the side around two home runs. I don’t think this will necessarily be a lost season for Lidge. He should come back in July and be ‘just okay.’ Hopefully, for Lidge owners, he gets the closing job back. I think he will. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t own Madson.
Please, blog, may I have some more?J.P. Howell has back-to-back blown saves. Joe Nelson hasn’t even sniffed a save opportunity after getting saves when Percival was healthy. Balfour has given up 7 runs in the last five games. Isringhausen hasn’t pitched in June. Dan Wheeler got his first save opportunity on Saturday and blew it. Lance Cormier sounds like a hockey goalie. Who’s leading the Rays bullpen since Percival went down? Lefty specialist, Randy Choate, of course! When asked after the game if he’ll ever decide on a closer, Joe Maddon pushed his Buddy Holly glasses up the bridge of his nose and said, “That’ll be the day.” Where’s Percival when you need him? I would hold one of Howell or Wheeler for now, if you have room. If you’re desperate for saves, I’d put the other five names in a hat then let Akinori Iwamura pick out a name. That’s what Joe Maddon does. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Mike MacDougal – Manny Acta said MacDougal was the new Nats closer. The rest of the league said, “Bring on the ninth!” I’ll put MacDougal’s saves at 2 and his blown saves at 3.
Please, blog, may I have some more?There were signs…. He’d call Dexter Fowler, “Dudley.” He’d call Todd Helton, “Tootie.” He’d hit like a menopausal woman with no occasional hot flashes. But you take the good, you take the bad… It’s “Take the good” first! Where’s the good, Garret Atkins? It’s time to clean house and Atkins is the first one to go. Here’s what I said in February in the rankings, “The Holliday trade to the A’s hurts Atkins value too. And, frankly, for the last three years, Atkins was hurting his own value. He’s gone from 29 to 25 to 21 home runs since 2006. If you were taking the SATs, the next number in that sequence would be 17. His slugging percentage has been following suit, as well. The way Atkins is headed, he’s going to need 2nd base eligibility to have any value by 2010.” And that’s me quoting me! Atkins hit 2 home runs yesterday. Sell! Sell! Sell! He’s an average 3rd baseman who will probably be traded from the Rockies in the coming months. Honestly, you’re probably be better off with Mark Teahen at 3rd. Someone somewhere many years ago said Atkins is going to hit 30 homers because he plays in Coors and for some reason people have not stopped believing it. It’s a crock. You know who else is crizzap? Troy Tulowitzki. Who are you, Troy Tulowitzki? I know, Stephen Drew; I know Ben Zobrist. I do not know Troy Tulowitzki. The Rockies are the new blech. So it’s time to shake things up, right? Yes. For you and the Rockies. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy and Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
BUY
Carlos Gonzalez – They’ll probably trade Hawpe to a contender and play Carlos Gonzalez full-time. Or just sit Seth Smith. The Rockies HATE Seth Smith. (Caps for emphasis and the doode reading over your shoulder.) CarGo’s a solid flier in deep, NL-Only leagues, especially keepers. In mixed leagues, if you have room, I’d take the gamble because you never know and you might be able to flip him for a better, more reliable piece if he starts off hot. He does have 15/15 potential, but he’s probably no better than Ben Francisco at this point.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Well you came and you gave without taking but I sent you away, oh Wandy….Wandy Rodriguez yesterday gave up four homers in five innings. That was one way to correct an abnormal home run rate. This is three starts now that he’s been rocked. His owners got a bye on the first one because they were called unearned runs.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2009 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team. We feel this approach will be fresher, more sustainable, and require less energy consumption (for us anyway).
Please, blog, may I have some more?
