Aw, sookie. Our first look at all the closers for the 2011 fantasy baseball season. That is a bird on your window and it’s singing Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah. I went over Kevin Gregg signing with the O’s when it happened and Putz to the Diamondbacks. I didn’t go over Frank2 signing with the Jays, but he’s the closer and that’s all I’m saying on that for now. I have bigger fish to fry in this intro, The Rays.
Please, blog, may I have some more?J.P. Howell
As I was thinking about Rudy going off and getting married, I needed a good cry, so I burned myself a sad song CD. Rather than try and find 15 songs that all had the same sentiment, I just put Why Can’t I?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Joe Nathan and Huston Street are gone and everyone moved up. That’s why people like Matt Capps and Chris Perez have done little but squat on the john yet moved up the rankings. Though I still managed to find a way to not move up Brian Fuentes. The way we’re going there won’t be any $12 Salads by May. Then what? $8 Side Dishes? Who needs roasted cauliflower with truffle oil? Not me! I’m happy with a baked potato. Yes, sir! Hmm… Maybe I shouldn’t write these right before lunch. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
$12 Salads
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?
Please, blog, may I have some more?SPOILER ALERT! Kerry Wood is out for 6 to 8 weeks with a strained dorsi muscle. I thought only dolphins had dorsi muscles. Huh. Wait! Maybe Kerry Wood’s a dolphin. He does seem like he’d be good at Connect Four… underwater. Nah, couldn’t be. Though I could see him getting injured trying to remove a beer from a six pack holder. Hmm… maybe. Alas, for another day. Chris Perez is the pickup. If my money’s good at this rodeo, Kerry Wood’s not coming back until the All-Star Break and even then he’s no sure thing. Anyway, here’s some other fantasy baseball news:
Huston Street – Suffering from only shoulder inflammation. Could resume closer’s role by late-April. Put this in the file of, See Then Believe.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
What’s quirkier than a relief pitcher? I’ll tell you what: a stubborn 3-legged beagle. Success as a set-up reliever is so overlooked in real life baseball as well as fake life baseball. These guys are weird; they have crazy superstitions, wear bass-ackwards numbers, and have their own theme music.
Please, blog, may I have some more?The murmurs of Heath Bell getting traded to another team by July are getting louder. (BTW, I love the word murmurs. I really wanted the survivors on Lost to call The Others, The Murmurs. Wouldn’t that have been awesome?! Okay, maybe me.) Prepare for a dozen or so posts titled, “For Whom the Bell Tolls,” at some of our weak sister sites. And by “weak sister,” I’m talking prison slang and I mean ESPN. I moved Bell down one whole spot. I’m not worried in March about someone who might get traded in July. He will probably drop one or two spots each month until July. If you get 23 saves, a 1.69 ERA, 1.08 WHIP, 42 Ks in 37 1/3 innings pre-All-Star Break, you’ll be mad you drafted him? Bee tee dubya, those were his 1st half numbers last year. Then who knows where he goes. Maybe Lidge and Madson finally give Manuel a coronary and Bell takes over the closing duties in Philly as Victorino player-manages. Or maybe Bell goes somewhere else. You get the picture; it’s still early. Don’t overestimate-slash-overthink-slash-overrate… Just don’t “over” anything. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
$12 Salads
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Since our last check up no games have been played, but there was movement on the closer rankings. Was it February Grey getting bored and mixing things up? Probably, but let’s pretend there’s some logic in my reasoning. Next to the closers that moved, there’s a plus or minus.
Please, blog, may I have some more?The 2010 fantasy baseball rankings are just about in the bag, but first we look at the top 20 middle relievers for 2010 fantasy baseball. No, next we’re not going to do the Top 20 Guys Who Will Have The Most Balks. Chillax. The only fantasy baseballers (<–my Mom’s term) that seem to pay attention to middle relievers are those that play in a Holds league. That’s wrong, I tell ya. A great way to balance out your ratios is by carrying a few middle relievers on your staff. (BTW, Ron Jeremy can carry three middle relievers on his staff.) Say you had James Shields last year and he mistook your team’s ERA for his toilet, but you also had Takashi Saito. With just Shields, you had the 4.14 ERA dump to clean up. With Saito and his brand new toilet brush, you had a 3.80 ERA. If you also carried Matt Thornton, you had a combined 3.59 ERA. Not to mention, you had 6 vulture saves. Oh, and your WHIP went from Shields’s 1.41 to 1.28 and had an additional 139 Ks. Middle relievers can also help balance out your junky closers. Okay, school’s out, Alice Cooper. Anyway, here’s the top 20 middle relievers for 2010 fantasy baseball:
1.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Our first look at closers for the 2010 fantasy baseball season, including some recent movees. I already went over Billy Wagner to the Braves, Lindstrom to the Astros, Rafael Soriano to the Rays and Capps to the Nats. Since then, Mike Gonzalez is a movee to Baltimore. Bobby Cox was unable to get fully behind a lefty cl0ser, but that doesn’t mean Mike Gonzalez can’t find success with the Orioles. The only major negative with Mike Gonzalez is I have to write out Mike Gonzalez’s entire name every time I mention Mike Gonzalez because it doesn’t sound right any other way. It’s still real early in the preseason for closers. Sometimes these battles aren’t decided until the last week of spring training (you still have time, Astros!). So this is a like a Google Map of closers that might lead you down a road closed for construction. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
$12 Salads
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad?
Please, blog, may I have some more?With the the top 20 closers for 2009 fantasy baseball, we’ve finished our recap of the 2009 fantasy baseball rankings. This is our final look back. This is still a look back. It is not how I’d rank them for 2010 aka next year. As with the other rankings, the final rankings come from ESPN’s Player Rater. I did this so I could objectively critique MY preseason rankings to THEIR end season ones. Their rankings for closers weigh wins and Ks very heavily, but whatevs. At least it’s unbiased. There’s a theme in the top 20 closers for 2009 fantasy baseball we need to address. There’s more unranked players in this post than any of the previous ones. With 8 of 20 closers being unranked. This is why you never pay for closers. They’re unpredictable. The ones that you think will do good disappoint (K-Rod) or flat-out suck (Lidge). Then there’s the ones that just come out of nowhere. It all comes back to SAGNOF! Anyway, here’s the top 20 closers for 2009 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
1.
Please, blog, may I have some more?