Yesterday, there was a pitching performance that truly captured the minds and hearts of the general public. You know, the general public — the people you smile at on the street and wonder how they got their shirt on because they look so dumb. Those people! This pitching performance wasn’t done by just any average pitcher. No, it was done by…an outfielder. Travis Snider struck out Joey Votto! Whaaaaaaat?! Oh, and Clayton Kershaw threw a no-hitter. It should’ve been a perfect game, but Hanley didn’t feel like it. It’s okay, Hanley, don’t beat yourself up over it too much. Let Dodger fans do it for you! Kershaw’s game wasn’t perfect in the strictly record book sense, but it was in the fantasy sense. 15 Ks, no hits, no walks — you now have the best pitching performance of this year, and it might be a top ten fantasy start of all-time. I wonder if you could buy him low. I keed! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Colby Rasmus took the Miller Park crowd and said, “How ya like me now?!” Then they said, “We don’t really know you, because the Blue Jays/Brewers rivalry extends only about an hour or so, unless you count that time Rance Mulliniks said this town was nothing but a bunch of Lenny and Squiggys.Please, blog, may I have some more?
You smell that? No, not your armpits. That’s Opening Day. The real thing this time! I love you, you sick, twisted, little game run by an egomaniac with a bad toupee. I love you! I want to touch baseball’s boobies! They are warm to my touch; those beautiful baseball boobies!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome to week 12, please wipe your feet before you enter. For most leagues this week is the halfway point. Peripheral stats are darn near impossible to make up this late in the season, but the impossible is what fuels fantasy fires.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s back again, but this time for longer. No, you won’t need any ointment, it’s just interleague play. It starts at the tail end of this week and continues into week 12. I am still not a fan for fantasy porpoises.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Okay, now picture you’re a Mets fan who was in a coma for three months and you just looked at the starting lineup. You’d be like, “Jeremy who? Cora what? Tatis huh? Why are the Mets playing a split squad game in June?” Um, yeah.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Lemonade was a popular drink and it still is, the Rangers could only get one hit against Willis. That’s right, Dwyck. Dontrelle Willis went six and one-third, allowing only three baserunners and K’ing five. The Rangers came into the game hitting lefties extremely well (.291) with Kinsler at .460 and Michael Young at .372.Please, blog, may I have some more?